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Jewocity may be the Jewish yellow pages, but I couldn’t find any escort services

I’m not sure that actual yellow pages books exist anymore, but they sure do online. Someone led me to Jewocity when I recently searching for a Jewish escort service. It’s not that I myself need an escort, I’m getting married soon, but I had this brilliant idea to start an escort service for frum singles to boost their shidduch value.Let’s face it, a lot of judging about who we are is not only based on what we wear and where we daven, but also who we hang out with. I figured that if I could get the local shlump seen with a bunch of hot chanies, it may be worthwhile for his cause.

We could also take the Jewish escort service one step further in the shidduch world. Imagine if Shaindy keeps telling her parents she’s “busy” because she doesn’t want to date any of the shlubs she’s set up with, we could give her a nice young frum dude for required meeting with the parents. Soon after her parents get all excited, she could inform them that her and random frum dude “broke” up.

But Jewocity didn’t have anything for Jewish escort services in their entire directory. I found plumbers, Rabbis, Doctors and Lawyers so I guess it’s geared more towards mainstream and normal Jewish businesses and professionals. Did you know that Jewocity is more than the largest Jewish business directory? Yep, it’s also a measure of someone’s Jewishness according to everyone’s source for antisemitic slurs – urban dictionary.

{ 9 comments… add one }
  • Matt May 20, 2012, 11:11 AM

    That would be awesome. I could date out of the faith, and hire the jewish girl to come to family events. Or when the schiksa wants to meet my family, I can hire a fake one that won’t judge me!

  • Alter Cocker May 20, 2012, 1:37 PM

    yellow pages definitely exist

  • OCTOMOM SPECIAL May 20, 2012, 1:54 PM

    No talk of Rabbi Nechemya Weberman, posing as a therapist in Williamsburge, took advantage of girl?

    Where have you been, Heshy?

    • Matt May 20, 2012, 2:20 PM

      For Loshon Hara, please look elsewhere. Stay here if you want witty and satirical posts about Judaism.

      • OCTOMOM SPECIAL May 20, 2012, 3:33 PM

        If it’s all over the media, how is this loshon hora? Why don’t you google Nechemya Weberman and see what comes up.

        • Heshy Fried May 20, 2012, 9:49 PM

          Must not have been reading my facebook page, I save the juicy stuff for there.

  • Blip May 20, 2012, 2:25 PM

    Man……… i am in the mood now, I am going to skip dinner and Mincha and go to the Asian Spa on Middle Neck Road and have a little bit of fortune in my coockie 🙂

  • michaltastik May 20, 2012, 9:06 PM

    Jewish guys hire Asian prostitutes and they don’t eve like hot chanies.

  • KosherUnicorn May 21, 2012, 2:15 AM

    While you’re at it, start a ‘beard’ service – a legion of ‘hot chanies’ paid to be seen going on awkward shidduchim with deeply closeted frum guys. lol.

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