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Shmuely Boteach was more embarrassing on Dr. Phil than Pearlperry Reich

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Guest post by Rabbi Eliyahu Fink

I spent 45 minutes of my life watching Pearl Perry Reich, her boyfriend Shauly and Rabbi Shmuley on the Dr. Phil Show. It was mortifying. But not because Perry and Shauly can’t speak proper English. Nor was it because of their accusations against the ultra-orthodox community. It was not because of the spectacle she has made of her private affairs.

No. The most embarrassing part of the show was Rabbi Shmuley. Over and over again he made me cringe. He managed to use another person’s painful story into an opportunity to hawk his books, ignore the issues, lie about orthodox Judaism, but most of all, Rabbi Shmuley made the show about him. It was not supposed to be about him. But he did everything he could to make it about him. Ugh.

He mentions the name of his book on relationships and intimacy at least 4 times. Rabbi, citing yourself as authority is lame. Super lame. I have never read his book but I can say with certainty that one can write a book about relationships and intimacy from the Jewish perspective that sounds completely different than his and still be true to Torah sources. That’s because there are hundreds, if not thousands, of perspectives on these issues found in our tradition. Hawking your way as the only way things happen, or even worse, the only way of truth is the biggest lie out there. Ugh.

Rabbi Shmuley doesn’t listen to Dr. Phil or Ms. Reich. He doesn’t get that she actually is losing custody of her kids because she isn’t as religious as her husband. Countless times he says to her (paraphrasing) “I am sorry to hear about your situation but that is not really the way it is in orthodox Judaism.” Why does he care so much to establish how it is or is not in orthodox Judaism? Because his book is predicated on a make -believe version of Jewish marriage. It’s as if he is afraid if people hear anything negative from our community it will cannibalize book sales. Ugh.

Rabbi Shmuley also lies in front of the entire world. He says that orthodox Judaism would have no problem with a female model. This is ludicrous. A person can do whatever they choose. But to expect that the orthodox world will have no problem with a model in their community is a bold-faced lie. Esther Petrack is a shomer shabbos modern orthodox girl who had or has aspirations to be a model and she was shunned and summarily tossed from her modern orthodox community for her modeling. To pretend that orthodox Jewish communities are cool with models is borderline insanity. This is the same community that blurs the faces of young girls in publications and photoshops women out of pictures! What are you smoking Rabbi Shmuley?! Ugh.

Ms. Reich (with Dr. Phil’s help) tries to make one point over and over again. Her point is that by marrying ultra-orthodox children off at a young age and expecting them to have a baby every 18-24 months, by the time they mature into young adults with their own ideas and aspirations that may be at odds with the community, they have 3-4 kids who are “ultra-orthodox”. If you are on a different wave-length than your spouse and you leave the community, you lose your kids. You are stuck. You need to choose between your children and personal happiness. Rabbi Shmuley COMPLETELY ignores this. Completely. It’s as if Rabbi Shmuley never heard of the insular communities of Williamsburg, New Square, Kiryas Joel, or the less insular but still similar communities of Boro Park and Lakewood. It’s as if every single couple that meets 2, 3, 4, or 5 times is somehow madly in love and completely certain of their choice to marry. It bothers me so much that he just acts as if this is not true. It is true. At least in many, many cases. Either Rabbi Shmuley is lying or he is the most severely unqualified self-proclaimed America’s Rabbi in the history of self proclaimed America’s Rabbis. EVERYONE knows that orthodox couples get married young with minimal dating. Especially the ones that are less engaged with the non-orthodox world.

To me, this is the issue. I don’t think it is a conspiracy from on high. I also don’t think there is malice. But it is a reality. It is literally impossible to create and enforce a hermetically sealed community in 2012. Information is too readily available, the Internet changed all that. There is zero chance that a community will remain 100% isolated from the world at large. Fact. People who marry at a young age that have children as per the script may find that their current situation is not desirable to them and they may want to leave or adjust their lives. This is inevitable.

This leaves several options. One option is to enforce insularity and hope it works for everyone. If it doesn’t work for a few individuals it is collateral damage. In this view, Reich is collateral damage. She wants to leave, she is hurt, she is unhappy, let her go. Whatever happens to her is out of our hands. A second option is to recognize that the insular community is not appealing to everyone and help bridge the gap between her desires to spread her wings and the reality of the family situation. I think this is what happens in less insular communities. It has to happen that way because when there is engagement with the outside world, tolerance is inevitable. A third option is to disband insular communities. I’ll keep dreaming…

I don’t know any of the details of Ms. Reich’s life or her situation. But I do know that her story follows a familiar track. She is not the only person to feel the way she does. She may have taken the fight public or gone to greater extremes than others who feel as she does, but I am certain that her situation is not unique at all. I have been consulted by people who have similar feelings. I know there are more out there. Again, the people I have spoken with are not yelling and screaming like Ms. Reich. Nor have they moved from one extreme to the other with such gusto. But they are thinking that the decisions they made in the early 20?s are not the same decisions they would make later in life. Some of them feel stuck. It’s quiet and civil, not loud and antagonistic. But then again, they are not faced with losing their children. I imagine if that were the case, they would empathize even more with Ms. Reich.

I think Rabbi Shmuley is making a grave error by pretending that everything is perfect everywhere. A storm is brewing. It’s time to batten down the hatches. It is not time to lie and sell books. I also think that Ms. Reich’s opponents are in a lose-lose situation. But they are making one very big mistake. They seem to think that Ms. Reich is a problem that must be dealt with. The truth is that Pearl Perry Reich is a symptom of a problem. She is not the problem. The sooner this is understood in the ultra-orthodox community the sooner the causes of those symptoms can be addressed.

Link: Dr. Phil (only portions are online). Some parts are on YouTube as well

  • Mike

    “To pretend that orthodox Jewish communities are cool with models is borderline insanity. This is the same community that blurs the faces of young girls in publications and photoshops women out of pictures! What are you smoking Rabbi Shmuley?! Ugh.”

    A large percentage of us do not live in orthodox communities that blur the faces of young girls in publications, so I don’t think it is accurate to make this blanket observation. In fact, much of this is news-worthy precisely due to the concerning trend towards chumra that is spreading in orthodoxy.

    Part of the orthodox community (MO, parts of Chabad, LW yeshivish), would be fine with female models, if certain standards were met: modest attire, and the advertisements were directed at a female clientele–i.e. in female clothing stores for intance. It might not be considered a prestigious job–(it shouldn’t be: character matters more than physical beauty)–but it is technically doable.

    Esther Petrack didn’t add up to those standards, so it’s no surprise that what she does is not approved of. More importantly, she also publicly implied on America’s Top Model that she would violate the Sabbath to further her modeling aspirations. Fine, she’s a young woman, who put herself in a high pressure situation–who knows what any one of us would have done, if we were “dropped” into that scenario? But on the other hand most of us wouldn’t put ourselves in such a scenario to begin with. The fashion industry, as it is practiced, is almost completely superficial, and saturated with immodesty; it’s almost impossible for your average person to not sell out.

    • Sarah

      But the point is that what happens in MO communities has NO EFFECT on Pearl Perry Reich and her children.

      As for modeling, if someone wanted to have a successful career in it, realistically they would need to do it in the real world, and not always wear modest clothing, and be in mainstream advertisements.

      And about Esther Petrack, I read that she did NOT actually say that; the footage was edited to make it look like she did, because it’s more sensational. And I think we can agree that the media loves sensation.

      Also, as long as we’re on the topic of what’s halachically appropriate, let’s consider all the lashon hara flying around in here.

      • Mike

        There’s no issue of lashon harah with Esther Petrack. Her stint on the show, including her comments are well known, and have been beaten to death in the blogosphere. I am not at all embellishing.

        Your distinction with regards to MO and Ms. Reich is irrelevant, since she is comfortable living life on her terms, and doesn’t let community norms dictate her life choices. If she wanted to reconcile her desire to model by joining a more liberal community she could do so.

        I never said that modeling was an ideal profession for an orthodox Jew, or that one wouldn’t have to make sacrifices to observe halachah, but that’s the reality committed Jews live with. If she wants modeling as a side gig, she might be able to swing it under certain circumstances. If she can’t be Kate Moss, tough.

    • Michaltastik

      You really think there’s enough work out there for a model to only accept work with modest attire? Mind you, turning down gigs over and over again would land a model at the bottom of her agents list.

      • Mike

        I don’t know. Truthfully I’ll let you broads figure it out. Modeling is for narcissistic people that have nothing going on upstairs. Let her work at kosher delight for all I care.

  • Josh S

    Well put. . . I agree with you.
    I also watched the show and thought the whole time that Rabbi Shmuely was full of $&(%^.

    My one comment is that they didn’t discuss the difference between Orthodox, Ultra Orthodox and Extreme Fundamentalists. The Satmar community probably falls into the Extreme Fundamentalist category. We as Jews need to be cautious not to defend the extreme fundamentalists and continue to speak out against them. As we did with the Beit Shemesh fiasco. The ability to uprise against these factions and to be heard and make an influence is what makes us different from other religions.

    • A. Nuran

      So, nu?
      Rabbi Boteach is a pathological publicity hound who never saw a camera he didn’t want to dive in front of or a mike he didn’t want to commandeer. He’s a shameless self-promoter.

  • Michael K

    I repeat what I said last week: Shmuely Boteach is the most self-promoting Jew around. A true narcissist. When he says “Mi Kamocha…”, he means ME Kamocha.

  • Anonymous

    Getting married young and minimal dating is now a problem? Are you suggesting that orthodox boys and girls should “play around” a couple of years (with birth control) before getting married? Your out of your mind. Anyway, I was by perry’s wedding and she was very, very, very happy, so cut the crap!

    • Michael K

      I wasn’t “by” perry’s wedding like you, but most if not all brides are very, very, very happy at their weddings because that’s what they’ve been taught is their goal in life: to get married.

      It’s what happens AFTER the wedding that’s important here, Anon.

      • Anonymous

        after the wedding she was also very happy and she had whatever she wanted except a tank top and mini skirt., and a few extra men. Spoiled rotten through and through. Go to the trial.

        • Sarah

          You’re saying she can be happy without her children?

          • Dan

            Anonymous is saying she can be happy being chassidish even if she has conflicted feelings about judaism.

            Like plenty of frumsatire readers.

            It’s a cute idea. I’m not sure I’d agree though.

            • http://scarpeta.blogspot.com Scarpeta

              I’m not sure getting slapped around is being happy. She says she was abused in the marriage. That seems more than wanting a few tank tops.

  • harry the hat

    So lets see. You rip Shmuelys’ book even though you admit you havn’t even read it. You praise Pearl even though you admit “I don’t know any of the details of Ms. Reich’s life or her situation.”

    Here’s what you don’t grasp sitting thousands of miles away. It is alleged that Reich’s lifestyle is a complete horror show. Forget the religious aspect. That’s the tip of the iceberg. The completely impartial court report recommended she not get custody. Do you realize how rare that is? Not joint custody. No custody. Why do you think that happened? They felt she was a completely unfit mother, and it had nothing to do with her lack of respect for religion. It had EVERYTHING to do with her current lifestyle, or which you know zero. I’m constantly amazed at people like you that print out their opinions online without even having a modicom of facts at their disposal. Do yourself a favor. Find out the real story before you post nonsense.

    Thanks for playing!

    • Sarah

      No, the issue is that the divorce was arbitrated in a beit din, and the court is honoring that arbitration, but she does not think they should because the beit din will only give her any custody if she becomes religious.

  • Steve613

    When an orthodox couple gets married, they enter into an agreement on how their children will be raised. If the husband stops observing, the wife would fight to keep the kids because Judaism is how we want our children raised. JUST BECAUSE the wife chooses to stop being observant, that does not give her the right to take her kids with her. Again, they agreed to raise the kids a certain way, her choice to leave doesn’t give her take the kids out of the observance as well.

    Whatever Judaism does or doesn’t permit or encourage is irrelevant. She changed her mind, which is her right. But to turn against the religion because of HER freedom to choose her path is selfish and misguided. She wants her choices respected while laying waste to her own upbringing.

    • G*3

      > When an orthodox couple gets married, they enter into an agreement on how their children will be raised.

      I agree that there is an implicit agreement made about lifestyle and how the children are to be raised. But tell me, what about when it’s the other way? When one spouse becomes a BT? Does the frum community stand behind the right of the other parent to raise the children in the way that they implicitly agreed when they were married? Or does the frum community rally behind the frum parent and decry the terrible loss of yiddisher neshamos if the non-frum parent were to gain custody?

      • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DRosenbach DRosenbach

        That’s a great point and I think you’ve got the best comment here.

      • Anonymous

        When one spouse becomes a BT? Does the frum community stand behind the right of the other parent to raise the children in the way that they implicitly agreed when they were married?”

        Considering the marriage probably wasn’t done halachically with or without some form of kasuba, “the agreement” on how to raise children wouldn’t necessarily matter. Right or wrong, it is what it is… Probably not the whole story obviously they don’t want children being raised in an environment conducive to yiddishkeit. I feel like the agreement isn’t really the issue, more what you were getting at which is, either way the community wouldn’t want to children to leave for obvious reasons.

    • Sarah

      But she wasn’t really given a choice about whether to enter into that agreement in the first place. That’s why she thinks that people should be given a little time to think about who they are before they get married.

      • Anonymous

        “But she wasn’t really given a choice about whether to enter into that agreement in the first place.”

        eh, I don’t think that is quite accurate. Also, in matters such as these, even if she does feel that way, it is not “fact” so stating it as such is problematic.

        • Sarah

          Yes, technically she could have refused to let a shidduch be made for her. But she probably didn’t know yet that she didn’t want to remain chassidish, or maybe she kind of did but thought marriage would bring her back. Anyway, refusing to let a shidduch be made for her would have been a major statement and would have been viewed as a step off the derech.

  • Josh

    NEW INFO ON DEBORAH FELDMAN:
    Explosive: Court Documents Undercut Core of New Best Selling Book

    http://deborah-feldman-exposed.blogspot.com/2012/03/explosive-court-documents-undercut-core.html

  • anon

    Just to reiterate on some of the above comments, Perry not being awarded custody of her children (a decision recommended by a non jewish court appointed investigator) has nothing to do with her religious choices and everything to do with her being deemed as unfit to be a mom. With diagnoses such as untreated borderline personality disorder etc.. it was determined to be in the best interest of her children for them to be raised by their father at this time. As much as Perry is attempting to portray this as a “religious issue”, that is not the criteria the secular court system judges by.

    • Another ex lakewooder

      My understanding is that what the husband in this case is standing on is that there is a Psak B”D saying that she only gets custody if she is frum. The reason why this may be accepted by the Civil Courts is because a Psak B”D has the status of an arbitrated agreement due to the signing of a shtar berurin. So yes it is a religious issue

      • Another ex lakewooder

        Also the fact that Batei Din will typically only facilitate a Get if the parties submit to binding arbitration on custody and assets is Morally reprehensible as well

    • Guest

      If borderline personality disorder is truly her diagnosis, than this explains a hell of a lot. These people are extremely difficult to deal with, often make horrible spouses, frequently flirt with suicide, and are often quite manipulative. I can guarantee that her going OTD has something to do with this diagnosis. It’s not incidental at all, regardless of OTD apologetics.

  • Seriously??

    If all we care about is ourselves, then none of us is any better than Boteach. That includes people who abandon their families “to be happy”.

    • Sarah

      She felt that she was living a lie. Most people can’t stand being so dishonest to themselves for an extended amount of time.

  • Yet another ex-Lakewooder

    I’ve been following and commenting on this blog for over 5 years now. Sometimes I’m right wing sometimes left wing. I even empathize with OTDwannab regularly. I now run a nice, well respected frum household, but when I was younger I had much of the rebellious instinct. For me most of the hardship was in being intellectually stifled, I was not able to pursue my college aspirations when I wanted to. Fortunately, my parents were somewhat open minded and eventually I did pursue a college degree and I feel that my potential is somewhat fulfilled-not as fulfilled as it would’ve been had I been able to start 4 years earlier, but its getting there.

    When I was younger though, I had difficulty separating my intellectual frustrations, from my normal growing up frustrations which included sexual frustration. I can empathize with PearlPerry to the extent that I understand the feeling of being stuck and unfulfilled. I had the wherewithal to prevent that situation but just barely. She didn’t and is doing all she can to prove to herself that she is in control of her own life and destiny.
    A quote from Melville comes to mind: “The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation”. What percentage of our community live lives of quiet desperation? often decidedly non-explosive but not without seething frustration.

    She may be a wonderful liar and a terrible mother yet I still empathize with her on a personal level. I wonder how she would have responded to empathy from Shmuly had he chosen to provide it.

    Shmuley if you’re reading this, I suggest that you harness some of this frustration within our community, and utilize this to spin our own religion back to us in positive healing light. Shmuley, you must have experienced some of this frustration when the bulk of main stream orthodoxy rejected you for what you believed in, yet you persevered and carved out your own religious and philosophical identity in spite of that. Why don’t you talk about that? Or is the memory of past rejection too painful for even you to address

  • Dee

    You ALL are missing the point. I didn’t read his book. I haven’t read Ms. Reich’s story. I don’t either one of them.

    The author CLEARLY states how he wasn’t embarrassed by Ms. Reich’s actions, her boyfriend’s actions, her ex-husband and the religious community actions, or by Dr. Phil’s actions.

    He was appalled by Rabbi Shmuley’s outrageous lies and behavior. Anyone who supports what he says is more full of baloney than he is.

    • Dee

      sorry, left out know from the sentence “I don’t know either one of them.”

      And please stop using the “she is mentally unwell or an unfit mother” excuse. Unless you are a case worker from DCS, or have access to her case file (in that case, sharing confidential information is a federal offense), you are biased against her.

  • zach

    Boteach is a clown. Even browsing a blog post about this putz is a waste of time.

    • Dee

      Zach-my thoughts EXACTLY!

  • Anonymous

    after he wrote that jesus book he was finished.

    • http://yeshivaforum.wordpress.com OfftheDwannaB

      It was an autobiography, the jewish jesus. Rabbi shmuelis come to save us.

      • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DRosenbach DRosenbach

        I thought that was pretty clever.

  • tevster

    I have quite the story about R’Shmuley… You posted something about the story not too long ago. I’ll send it to you soon. Not sure exactly when, but soon.

  • Yossy H

    Anyone have a link to watch the full episode

  • Yossy H

    just from watching the highlights of the show it looks like all 3 of the guest + Dr Phil are hight on something I am just not sure what :)

  • Tsiporah Gottlieb

    Iam so glad to read your comments. I watched that Dr. Phil show and was appalled by shmuley boteach’s bullying. He talked over Pearl and her friend, and refused to acknowledge the reality of a significant segment of the ultra orthodox community, of which he apparently knows little. His defense of “Judausm” uncritically was so NOT in the tradition of learned discourse and has irretrievably damaged his reputation in my eyes and, I suspect, many other rational thinkers of all faiths. The refusal of any religious person to discount the damage of the ultra orthodox of ALL faiths, today, is an invitation to religious fascism. I am also ashamed of dr. Phil for promoting this man as a spokesperson for a religious community he knows nothing about. And, why could not Pearl and Shuley tell their story without a so called “spokesperson”? Their story was compelling on its own merits.

  • http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:DRosenbach DRosenbach

    It’s interesting that you wrote this.

    I only got to see the online snippets but I did write R’ Boteach an email that night asking him to clarify his comments about being a Orthodox model and he has yet to respond.

  • http://www.kosherunicorn.com Yisroel H.

    Basically the show was three people having three different self-promoting monologues. Shmuely never really listens, just parrots his ‘message’ (i.e. sales pitch) and Dr. Phil has never listened to any guest long enough to get in the way of one of his Southern, downhome one-liners.

    Yisroel http://www.kosherunicorn.com

    • Kosher Stallion

      You’re a shameless self promoter yourself, and suppress civil discourse on your blog.

  • Lea Hanan

    I am so grateful that you put all my thoughts into words! I also cringed while watching “America’s Rabbi” lie throughout the show! Please, please forward your article to the Dr. Phil show as well as to “America’s Rabbi”. Shame on Dr. phil for “claiming ignorance”! He ahs a show and needs to educate himself on the topics. Shame on Rabbi Shmuley for lying to America. No arranged marriages? Come on! You fooled Dr. phil but you certainly didn’t fool your fellow Jews!

  • http://kayleearielphotography.com Kaylee

    I agree 100%

  • Gitty

    guest and Anon, of all the comments, you guys upset me the most. Number one, you dont know bow crazy and poweful Satmer is. Its a mafia. They would use anything in the world to satisfy their zilous , so called ‘religiou needs’. This includes bribes, lies, and system manipulation. Trust me, they have all the money and resources to do so. Are you familiar with the term Machers’???? well, just in case you are not, i will explain: Dangerous Jewish people who know the sustem well, have the right connection, money, and power, to do everything for members of the Jewish community. So whether she has a personality disorder or not, the diagnisis was only used as an excuse to take away ber children. Dont be naive to believe that Satmer decided to spend hundred of thousand of dollars for lawyers, just to save the kids from a dangerous sick mother. Their are many parents with mrntal illnesses or BPD. Do you suggest that all those mothers should lose their right to parent their kids? Unless they their chlidren are in real danger, the mother can function well and make a great parent if she treats herself with therapy or/ medication and get support from her family and friend. I have one of many leaders to an online support forum to mothers with various mental illnesses or mental disorders, including BPD, we have thousands and thousands of mothers. The vast majority of then struggle hard to treat themselves and keep a family integrity and they do very well. Those that are ot are usually ery extrreme cases with severe mrntal ill esses.
    Understand, that the BPD diagnosis was a gift for Satmer and her husband, because obviously the need a legal way to get custody, and BPD was the vehicle to do so . Now, you dont suggest the the Beis Din awarded cusody to the father based on her diagnisis. Its clear as a crystal that if the mother is not frum, the kids would go with the father, and ise versa. Dont be oblivios and come up with your BS.
    The issue with her is that her kid were yes taken away from her due to religious conflicts. All the rest—- is only the way to accomplish the goal of saving those poor souls from the ‘Shiktze’ mother. If you think otherwise, you are lying to youself, and you know that. You know that in our community their is a big mitzva to save those pure young souls from their non- from parent. So please dont give me the nonsense of BPD. From a personal experience i am telling you that both courts and Beth Din are full of curroption, especially when the tricky wise Jewish brain is involved and has self interests. I guarantee that this court or Beth din, or whatever she used, were full of curroption. i dont know how much YOU know anout it (obviously you dont) but I certainly do. I have seen things in my naked eyes.
    The thing with the arbitration, im sure she wadnt aware of what she was signing on. Lots of women fall into this trap brcause Beth Din Takes advantage of their unfamiliarity with BethDin conceps. There are many advocates who try to teach women about Beth Din procedures.

  • RYT

    This is all nothing short of a mob lynching of an entire community, religious anti-semitisem to it’s rotten core.
    I am NOT from that community, yet I have taken the time to check on as much as I could & instead of revealing what I verified to be true, let me just ask all of you who seem to know so much. 1) Which Bes Din issued the p’sak (verdict)? 2) Who was her first bed partner & how old was she then? 3) Which nationality is he from & where does he live now? 4) What do her former classmates have to say about her? 5) How many police officers are having their way with her? 6) How many has she slept with in the past? 7) Who used to known as the westgate hooker? 8) What do over 30 of her current & former neighbors say about the alleged abuse? 9) Were her parents ever divorced? Why? & in which interesting country has he run some kind of girls institution? 10) What role do either of them have in creating some form of mental condition in her? 11) Is BPD really her only issue? 12) When, where & why did shauly move from & to lately? 13) How many girls & married woman has shauly slept with &/or destroyed their families & lives? 14) Why did he turn into the monster that he has become? 15) How many Blatt G’morah was he tested on? 16) Why is he manipulating mrs Reich? 17) which religion is he gravitating her towards? 18) What is the ratio of money raised by either side in comparison to the other side?
    There is much more that I uncovered, however anything that might hurt her husbands & childrens cases in court, if revealed, I prefer to keep under cover for now, but the trial should be loads of fun!!!!!!!!

    Just wondering if anyone knows her actual last name & not her maiden name???????????

    • Hot BaisYaakov teacher

      Do you know the answers to the questions you asked above?

      I think a lot of people are curious…

      • YRT

        If you would have actually been a teacher, then you would have been a very lousy one at that. Think about it, if I could come up with those questions, then obviously I must know the answers to them as well.
        Discussing these issues just to satisfy ones curiosity is a form of Nivul Peh, so I will not do it. However, one thing that I will say, is that the first time she actually didn’t do it, it was done to her unwittingly with the help of the date rape pill ( This unfortunately started her downward spiral, because her husband who is too bright himself didn’t understand her & not only didn’t he offer her any support & understanding, but he also didn’t know how to help her overcome her pain & her hurt & neither did he want to) & due to this story coming out in public, that Rosho’s wife was notified by someone & his charade of a marriage also came to a screeching halt B”H!

        The reason that I did answer this question, was two-fold: 1) So that all the people out there that are so quick to judge her, would be able to at least try to understand her by remembering what Chazal have taught us in Pirkei Uvois: “Al Todin Es Chaveircho Ad Shetagia Lim’koimoi”, in plain english & in layman’s terms; would you have been any better then her if you would have gone through such a devestating trama??? If by any chance, you were so quick to think “yes”, then you are lying to yourself & I would not want to be in your shoes when you come in front of the real Beis Din, the one upstairs, because we are all judged up there just as we judge others down here.
        2) To be able to send out this call & this warning to everyone out there; there are unfortunately some predetors out there that our very shrewed that have figured out ways to lure & trick unsuspecting women into drinking drinks that was spiked with a variety of date rape drugs & then having there way with them.
        I will also add another warning to women. If anything such as this ever happened or Ch”V’sh happens to you. PLEASE do NOT tell your husbands at all!!! The Halochoh does not require that he be told, as this Is considered a rape according to Torah & Halachah. If you feel that you have to, PLEASE try to find a Rov or a Dayen that you know you can trust with your secrets & with your life.

  • Joe Blow

    “Just wondering if anyone knows her actual last name & not her maiden name???????????”

    Susholz. Wonderful father in law. Which is how I know she is a liar; becueas she claims her FIL called her a slut and whore in front of her parents. I dont know if he knows what those words are, but he would NEVER used them.

  • RYT

    I’m not surprized that you knew her last name, as you are not from the “let’s just bash the Frum Yidden”. The bashing crowed has no clue of anything, they just make things up as they go along. How does Satmar get into this picture? How does everyone seem to know things that are NOT true? What money came from Satmar? Meanwhile the only one that seemed to collect money was mrs Reich, & that besides for the fact that she has no known expenses that are not covered by her husband. “Mrs. Reich was diagnosed with BPD because of this case” are you out of your mind Gitty? She was diagnosed with it many years ago!!! { btw, Gitty; did you live in Monroe before you got divorced? Did you ever speak with a magazine?} Please check facts before claiming anything as fact. Spend the time, do your homework. If I can take the time to do it, even though I never knew either one of them, so can everyone else.

    Mrs. Reich; I find it very odd that Shauly & that certain woman, can try convince you that Yiddishkeit is a cult, while thinking that a religion that believes in a human being being born w/o a father is a religion.

  • Anonymous

    Where can I watch the full episode?

  • Anon

    Someone offered their opinion about what kind of deep Neshama Pearlperry has and how they would eagerly help her. (I’m not sure what kind of help….)

    Heres the quote and my opinion:

    “If there is anything that I can do to help her, I will do it”.

    Youre right on target! Help she needs from able professionals!

    As far as her being healthy enough to “need” to raise her kids:
    I dont think so, not until after she gets all the help she desperately needs, as long as it takes, when she’ll be capable of raising kids, at which time, she’ll hopefully not be posing with the look of a feisty tiger in her eyes, on a bearskin rug, all ready for you know what, all over the internet.

    Hee hee.

  • Cookie

    great post…I just watched the episode and wanted to scream..Rabbi S. was totally ignoring the point..It is like he never heard of the Chassidic community…He thinks arranged marriages don’t exist or are rare? Yes, maybe in other Jewish communities, but are extremely common in ultra orthodox/chasidic communities..He keeps saying that Jewish law requires the husband to make his wife happy and they need to want each other,,,this is true,but many of these men do not ‘keep’ this law…and that is the point…Pearl’s situation is sadly not rare or surprising. He acts as if she had a unique and sad experience and is now blaming an entire religion..Basically what needs to be clarified in this episode, is that arranged marriages and the difficulty of getting out of them (especially with your kids)and leaving the community, IS a big problem in ultra orthodox (Satmar,Belz, Ger) sects…This does NOT represent all orthodox Jews or the Jewish religion…Rabbi S. seems to be accusing her of ‘tarnishing’ orthodox Jews…He is justifying her leaving and telling her she has the right to do that, but is ignoring the fact that she cannot get a divorce and might have to sacrifice being with her children..I sympathize with Pearl……She is not demonizing all of Judaism and is just sharing her experience that is unfortunately very common in this community…This is something that needs to be fixed