Do we really need to teach modern orthodox folks about sex?
That was my thought when I read the following line from the Forward’s Sisterhood blog about Sex Toys and Talmud. “Dr. Jennie Rosenfeld is equally at home teaching a page of Talmud and showing women how to use a vibrator.” Yes, whenever an article starts off with sex, especially women learning gemara and masturbating, you know it’s going to be worth reading. But, the article is about teaching sex to modern orthodox women and I doubt they really need to know these things. Do they?
I’m not implying that modern orthodox people are more likely to have premarital sex or better sex (there was a study saying that Atheists have the best sex, which leads me to believe that the less frum you are the better sex you’re gonna have) I’m just saying that it seems to be something that isn’t really applicable to the community she’s trying to reach.
After reading through Calm Kallah’s, the frum sex forum, many years ago – I decided that frummies definitely needed some sort of sex education that went beyond the classic kallah class teacher that told you to do it missionary position with the lights off and think of the Rebbe while you climaxed (if you happened to discover that women could have fun during sex too) Anyone could have told you that mixing gemara with vibrators was just too modern. I can see frum sex education classes being given to mature audiences (19 year old girls fresh out of seminary) but is it really necessary, I mean we’ve had the same system forever and you don’t hear too many complaints. The one comment on the sisterhood blog post was about a woman who waited 5 months for her husband to figure out how to have sex with her – that’s pretty crappy if you ask me.
I also love how when she talks about her book she says that she didn’t want the information to be trivial, but that she didn’t want to offend anyone on the right. Tell me, do you think anyone on the right would read this without being offended, this in response to her thoughts about the YU Beacon sex scandal.
That I really don’t know. But I definitely think that violation of “shomer negiyah” [the prohibition against touching] is common in Orthodoxy — but whether people are having premarital sex or are engaging in other forms of sexual expression, such as mutual masturbation and oral sex, in order to preserve the woman’s virginity, of that I’m not sure. Either way, many singles feel isolated and alienated from the mainstream Orthodox community because of issues of sexuality and halachic violations in the sexual realm.
I know it may seem like I’m making fun, but I’m just trying to draw attention to the fact that right wing frummies do need to read something like this, or just watch a couple porn videos so they can educated and get some.