Off the derech garage sale: Tefillin, hats, tzitzis, etc

Hey Hesh,

I’m a long time reader of your blog and I have a bunch of interesting stuff for sale that you or maybe someone you know may be interested in. Most of the items I have are religious items and even though I’ve been off the derech for several years now – I have not been able to part with most of the stuff. As you know, I remember reading something about trying to get your off the derech friends to give you their tefillin so you could sell it on ebay or something, most off the derech peeps have a hard time parting with many of their religious items because of guilt. I myself suffered a lot of guilt after going off and being abandoned by my family, I held on to many of the following items for a long time because I felt that God would strike me down if I got rid of them. I’m past that, but I’d still like to find a good home for them.

The following is a list of the items I’m selling, most of them are in good condition:

Tefillin – they are from my bar mitzvah, but I stopped using them when I was 14 and I would tell my parents I had put them on. I was thrown out of yeshiva and living at home and hanging out at Our Place and Ohr Yitzchok, it’s taken me 15 years to part with them, even though I remember joking with some guy in Kiamesha lanes once that I would sell him my tefillin for a couple cartons of cigarettes. I would like to get $400 for them. They are black leather and I have a nameless tefillin case and I’ll throw in a plastic zippered bag and a hatzoloh keychain to the buyer.

Tzitzis – I have about 10 years worth of barely used tzitzis. The story behind these are that I used to tell my parents and Rabbeim that I had lost my tzitzis every time I was caught without them on and so I have dozens of hardly used tzitzis. They are all size 22, but I have so many lying around – the mesh ones that aren’t really considered kosher by real frummies, those neatzit t-shirt things. the regular v-neck, circle neck and I have 3 pairs of wool tzitzis with v-neck as well. I would like $5 for each of the regular kinds and $15 for the woolen ones.

Shas – Why I even have a shas is beyond me, but one of my other friends sold me his chosson shas for so cheap I decided to use it to decorate my library. It’s kind of strange to have my Hitchens, Dawkins, Wright and Fromm stuff sitting side by side with a beautiful never used shas – though I’ve been told that chosson shasim in general are just for looks and no one ever uses them. Make me an offer.

Mezuzos – When I moved out, this chabad guy near me got me a bunch of mezuzos, if you hold that chabad chassidim are apikorsum these mezuzas may not be frum enough for you, other wise they are in great shape and have only been used once.$20 each.

Siddurim – I have several siddurim, my grade school Shiloh siddur and my grandfathers yellow cover tikkun mayer are some of the mix. I have a couple of beige artscrolls and even a koren sacks that someone bought me because they thought it was more modern, but the text is the same old minhag ashkenaz with nothing too different than artscroll. $50 for all of them.

Bresslov Seforim – I have two crates of those free Bresslover books that they force on you whenever they figure out you’re Jewish. I’m giving these away to anyone who wants em, included are classics on how to make money, find your wife and build a succah.

Sheitle – My friend Bruchy asked me to sell some stuff for her too and she has this beautiful Georgie Sheitle that originally cost $2500, it has bangs and a pony tail built into it and I promise you that it will take from frumpy to hot chani in seconds. $500.

Seforim – I tried to sell most of my seforim right after my bar mitzvah, but my mother said that I would want them when I went to yeshiva, I will list them below – please make reasonable offers.

Ribiat Gray 39 melochos set

Mesilas Yeshurim

Chofetz chaim daily sets of LH stuff

The Shmuz complete CD set

The Life and Times of – Rav Moshe, Rav Ahron, Rav Yaakov, The Chazon Ish and The Netziv

Halichas Bas Yisroel – don’t ask

Various really crappy Jewish music CD’s that I was forced to listen to for all of my childhood

First edition set of the Little Midrash says

Washing Cup – perfectly good plastic washing cup without any crust or mold – make an offer.

Copper Washing cup – I have been told that this would be worthwhile to melt down, but I have neither the time nor patience.

Shabbos switch covers – I have 4 of them, given to me as a gift, make me an offer.

Lots of random stuff, like coloring books, yarmulkes, havdallah candles, books my non-frum cousins gave me like Great Jews in Sports and so on…

If anyone is interested in any of the above items – Email Hesh and he’ll forward it to me.

Thanks

Find out more about off the derech stuff at 4torah.com

 

 

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Seriously??

    Ha-ha! Brilliant satire.

  • Telz Angel

    +1 for reminding me of Kaimisha Lanes.

    I always wondered what else you can use bedika cloths for… They are a bit to small to wipe the counters. Maybe good to clean grout, or detail a car. I guess they would be good to clean the magnetic head of a cassette tape recorder, but who has those anymore? Just a thought.

    Why not also throw in some kosher notions stickers while you are at it? Or if you really want to have fun — put the “meat” and “dairy” stickers on alternate doors of the bathroom stalls in the shul and convince the Ba’ali teshuva that it makes a difference which you use.

  • tesyaa

    Very good the way it starts out so realistic, but $50 for a bunch of old siddurim gives it away.

  • Seriously??

    Delicious irony: someone who thinks he has left yiddishkeit – but as the money-grubbing shows, the joke is actually on him.

  • Uri

    I thought this was serious and the sad part was I was kind of getting amped up to get a good deal on some old siddurim and breslover books….

  • http://jewishmythbusting.blogspot.com/ Ruthie

    Wow, that is quite a collection! I have not been collecting quite as long, plus I am a woman, but it would take so long just to get rid of the sefarim, I would just leave them here. I’d try to pawn them off on believers, but at that point, I think I would feel the same way about the sefarim and Judaica as I did about the movie DVDs when I was pious (just tossed them in the dumpster, so none of my then-fellow-believers would be tainted by them).

  • http://betweenjerusalemandtelaviv.blogspot.com/ Michael

    No idea whether this guy is for real or not, but that is one of the saddest posts I’ve ever read.

    Kinda like the guy a few years ago in Australia (I think) who put his whole life up for sale – his house, car, clothes, even his friends (no idea what he meant by that).

    He was going to take the cash, move somewhere else, and start again

    • talking stam

      i agree. this post had a very sad feeling to it.

      • yankelyoffen

        agreed

        • Sephirath BenBaruch

          If hes real this person deserves a punch to the teeth for dropping yiddishkeit.

          • JohnL

            Seriously???????????

            • whoah5771

              you really misinterepted what the rishonim meant when they said u have to break the teeth of the rasha

  • Dan

    Hee hee.

    I’d like it more if this guy actually accumulated the seforim himself while he was still frum.

    As far as that goes. I really should sell off my seforim, because even though I am still frum, I have barely opened one in a year, and I do most of my learning on hebrewbooks when I want to prove somebody wrong or something like that.
    In fact, during chazaras hashatz on rosh hashana was the first time I opened a sefer just to learn since pesach.

    • http://yeshivaforum.wordpress.com OfftheDwannaB

      Yes, i think the msg is clear here: give cash or stuff to bar mitzvah boys. Nobody wants a set of pnei yehoshuas. The only time youll use these yeshivish seforim is in yeshiva where -surprise- they freakin have seforim!

      • Seriously??

        Actually, I think the message is just the opposite! Since a boy may or may not stay frum, either he should get something that reflects the approach of the giver (like seforim), or nothing at all.

        Why should someone who does not want to be Jewish get a bar mitzvah present?

        • http://yeshivaforum.com OfftheDwannaB

          I was joking about this being the message. But now that we’re on it, 1: A present is supposed to be something that the recipient will appreciate, not a lesson.
          2: 99% of kids don’t want seforim. They want to be jewish, they don’t want super-advanced seforim made by talmidei chachamim, for TC. So if you want to give a Jewish themed present, give a set of artscroll machzorim, a menorah, a kiddush cup, a suit or tie for shabbos, a gift certificate to a judaica place, or a kosher pizza store. There are plenty of jewish themed things that kids want.

          • Seriously??

            OK – point taken. Except that this “poster” is selling the “stuff” as well as the seforim.

            • http://yeshivaforum.com OfftheDwannaB

              yeah, no, i’m not talking about this dude.

          • http://quiet123@hotmail.com Avrumy

            My bar-mitzvah was before Pesach. How many haggadahs do you think I got? Waaay more than any kid needs, that’s for sure.

        • http://betweenjerusalemandtelaviv.blogspot.com/ Michael

          My Dad owned a bookstore so I got relatively few Sforim for My Bar mitzva (also wasn’t such a frum community).

          Got lots of cash, wallets, fancy pens, camping gear, swiss army knife etc. But the only gifts that I still have 25 years later are the books.

          Some of them I’ve used or read, some of them have hardly been opened, but they all have a place on my bookcase and remind me of people I knew when I was much younger.

          • Anonymous

            :)

  • http://www.kissamezuzah@blogspot.com Susan

    Too bad he isn’t selling one of those black hats and the long black coat. I’d really love to get those.

    • Telz Angel

      I gave mine away. sorry.

    • Lirehagi

      Hey, another person who would use my “unused bar mitzvah hat”, “yeshivishe jacket”, and “other assorted frumboy gear” gemach!

      A chossid lent me his bekishe once, in the cold- those things ROCK, let me tell you.

      Now that I’m getting my bat mitzvah hats, I’m looking for one of those felt fedora thingies Chasidim wear- anyone have one?

  • Anonymous

    Haha good1 hesh

  • Sarah

    Aw, it’s not real? That’s disappointing… $20 is probably really cheap for mezuzot, and I need some.

  • An-on

    If there are any similarly oriented formerly frum girls out their who no longer have use for their virginity – don’t just give it away to the first shmuck who buys you an appletini – you could make a killing.

  • chabad guy

    Donate the stuff to a local chabad house.

  • http://conservadox.tripod.com Woodrow/Conservadox

    I’m with Sarah (I mean, I agree with her, not that I know her …)

  • AztecQueen2000

    I’d take the Little Midrash Says…assuming this ad is for real.
    Michelle

  • http://starofdavida.blogspot.com Talia bat Pessi

    How much would the Georgie Shaitel from the Heidi and Mendy case go for?

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

    I got the idea from a post in one of the secret groups I’m apart of on Facebook – some guy was making a joke about an ad on craigslist selling slightly worn tzitzis.

    • Esther

      “slightly worn tzitzis” is hilarious! :)

  • Michaltastik

    Well, I do have some books that I would like to sell off. If there is anyone who is converting (ideally in the NYC area so I can meet up rather than pay postage) and doesn’t have a lot of your books yet, please Email to michaltastik at yahoo.

  • http://www.alizahausman.net Aliza Hausman

    I once made a joke about stuff like this. When I got rid of all the stuff in my non-kosher kitchen, I happened to give it to a friend of a friend who was Christian.

    That led to someone to joke, what if people who were going off the derech (something I don’t take lightly but didn’t fully understand starting out in the process) saved poor converts some money by giving us the stuff they no longer plan to use.

    But I didn’t give away any of my stuff for money. Even though I still wasn’t Jewish, it didn’t feel right making money off selling my non-kosher kitchen items.

    Interesting satire, though.

  • Stanley Katz

    I told the Israeli (not religious) contractor to dump seforim that I had lying around for years. Well he gave them to his “chacham” and started to attend a minyan and is now frum!

  • DF

    ha ha ha..i remember after my bar mitzvah, when I was reviewing all the crappy seforim gifts I recieved. My father would make comments against all of them, such as “oh thats a good one, you will prob need that in HighSchool”, that one – “thats good for yeshiva after high school” that one for when you are married.

    needless to say I never opened any of them up

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  • zev

    sounds nice i still hav e mine and so far they still think im frum so i canty give them away yet lol

  • goats

    I got some seforim by my bar mitzva, but most of the seform that i currently own ($1,000 or more spent on them- mostly from isreal, theyre cheaper there) i bought when i was in beis medrash and learnt how to read hebrew at a higher level.
    there was a time that i couldnt walk into a seforim store without buying a sefer or two (on interesting topics; like the ayil mishalosh on math from the vilna gaon). i have the same problem now, exept that its with scotch and wine- cant walk out of the store without $120 or so worth of good alcohol

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