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Are there any hot girls reading this?

I know I’m gonna get a bit of flack for this post, but lets just cut to the chase, one of my good buddies is looking for a hot wife – yes I’ve tried to get him to date girls I consider hot (dude I wouldn’t touch her with your dick – is the common response) and this means that girls I find hot, are in fact not hot at all according to this shallow dude. Sure, it;s a long shot, but in the name of the shidduch crisis I have decided to write a really shallow post trying to find some hottie who needs themselves a hot man, because lets face it, hot girls know they’re hot.

So are you hot? I know for a fact there are some hotties reading this, I have tons of hot facebook friends, ladies from around the world who are single, frum and hot. I’m not going to reveal details, but lets just say I’m looking for my friend because he has given up on shidduch dating and I really think he needs to get married, but like I said she needs to be hot, but that’s not all.

I am going to interview the gals I send to him, all it takes is a picture because like most guys he’s pretty shallow when it comes to shidduch dating, actually now that I think of it – I have two guys I need to find hot girls for. Interestingly enough, one of them will only date girls in the NY area and the other will not date girls in NY – convenient for all you out of town  hotties who are struggling to meet a man who dates GU’s (geographically undesirable’s)

Here’s the deal you should be between the ages of 24-35, be hot, be frum modern orthodox machmir is the preferable – though we can swing either way a bit) You should be well read, not too into materialistic things and be active – both dudes are of the outdoors variety and both dudes are very well read and can support a family and pay yeshiva tuition when it comes to the baby making portion of the fact. Neither of the dudes is a cohen, so BT’s, converts and those who slept with non-Jews at some point can definitely apply.

Oh and I’m not screwing around, I figured we might as well get this out there and if this post is removed – it’s because one of the guys figured out who they are and gave me an angry phone call. Don’t get mad when I tell you that you aren’t hot enough fortunately many girls are open enough to realize they are in a similar situation as this.

{ 154 comments… add one }
  • Steven July 12, 2011, 12:17 PM

    Frum dating is weird…

  • otd bec July 12, 2011, 12:20 PM

    i keep saying that legalizing gay marriage is the real way to solve the shidduch crisis….

  • Oy! July 12, 2011, 12:21 PM

    This just sad. 2 all the hot girls, guys do care a lot, they are shallow, but this is just gross, have a little respect 4 urself. ur 2 friends dound like total aholes

    • Jeremiah July 12, 2011, 12:36 PM

      Here’s the thing all dudes on some level are aholes, and honestly we are all OK with that.

  • does she have to like to.... July 12, 2011, 12:25 PM

    ….To take it us the @ss?

    • Anonymous July 12, 2011, 3:53 PM

      More like does she mind a guy who talks big but can’t keep it up and loses it for the night at the mere hint of a flash of skin?

    • Linda September 19, 2011, 10:46 PM

      There’s a reason why gay dudes who do often become incontinent.
      I’ve tried it (with lube, patience, and all those recommended good measures) with a long term lover, bbf (before becoming frum).
      The stomach cramps afterwards were unbelievable.
      Why would a guy want sexual activity with such negative consequences for the take-e?
      Unless, of course, he needs all that “tightness” because of some dysfunction that doesn’t allow satisfaction with the “usual.”

  • OfftheDwannaB July 12, 2011, 12:26 PM

    “Dude I wouldn’t touch her with your dick”

  • does she have to like to.... July 12, 2011, 12:27 PM

    *up the @ss.

    • A. Nuran July 12, 2011, 4:10 PM

      Mmmm, The Wet Spots asked the question better…
      (youtube) watch?v=grGrN_nuWg8
      Warning: Not for prudes or those lacking a sense of humor

  • thejewess July 12, 2011, 12:30 PM

    Im shallow enough that i kinda just want to know IF i am hot enough to be a contender… πŸ™‚
    PS check out my new album Hesh

  • ipitythefoo July 12, 2011, 12:50 PM

    I think its fine to have hottness criteria, they just better be hot themselves.

    • prili July 13, 2011, 12:10 AM

      haha you know the ones who keep gettin “ugly” people can’t exactly be lookers themselves

  • Oy! July 12, 2011, 12:55 PM

    it’s fine to have that criteria, but verbalizing it is my issue with it…

    • Pinchas July 12, 2011, 4:08 PM

      Actually if all singles would simply verbalize the truth about what they’re really looking for, instead of beating around the bush, perhaps the shidduch “crisis” wouldn’t exist. Those 2 guys are def shallow but at least they’re straightforward about it.

  • confused July 12, 2011, 12:56 PM

    how hot are these guys?

    • SumFratire July 12, 2011, 1:02 PM

      I think the question is how wealthy are these guys?

  • frum single female July 12, 2011, 12:59 PM

    are your friends who are looking for these hot chicks anything to look at? and i find it ironic that guys who are specifically into looks are looking for a girl who is hot looking but not too materialistic. its not that you have to be materialistic to look hot, but usually girls who are very into their looks also like spending the money to look that good. so how would that work? no matter, aside from the fact that i am outside of the age range your friends seem too materialistic . i do give them credit for being so upfront though about their shallowness .

    • lowa July 12, 2011, 2:34 PM

      and may I add, after a couple of times in the hay, these HOT girls get bored and move on to the next topic of interest (another male, or perhaps, making themselves look even hotter!!) Silly boys, you need an big mama who will screw you silly in the confines of an intimate bedroom!! That’s where the real fun is!!

      • Heshy Fried July 13, 2011, 12:32 AM

        More cushion for the pushin’

      • x-chusid July 13, 2011, 8:16 PM

        Nothing beats ah zaftigeh yiddishe maidel mit a shvartzeh’s ah tuches.

    • obsessed July 12, 2011, 8:11 PM

      My custom sheitel costs me $3,000, and I buy a new one every year.

  • ploni July 12, 2011, 1:26 PM

    Yeah, what are the chances that these guys aren’t hot themselves?

    • Heshy Fried July 13, 2011, 12:33 AM

      I wouldn’t be putting my money on it and wasting my time if they weren’t

  • Batsheva July 12, 2011, 1:28 PM

    It’s one thing to want an attractive mate. That’s normal. But to make it your top priority, and to have such high appearance standards that women a normal guy like Heshy would find “hot,” they find untouchable, is just pathetic. Any woman who would marry a guy with this kind of criteria deserves what she gets. . .which will be a divorce in 25 years when she is no longer so “hot.”

    • lowa July 12, 2011, 2:36 PM

      I give it 5 years max.
      Looking hot is hard work, and all that time at the gym could’ve been used in the hay.

      • Batsheva July 12, 2011, 3:36 PM

        Usually it takes more than 5 years to go from uber-hot to not. But you’re right in that 25 years was an outside estimate. If that’s the guy’s priorities he’ll dump her the minute she stops being hot at whatever point that happens. I just hope for her sake, it’s not when she’s pregnant, because there are sick guys who do that, and usually it’s the type of guy who is just that focused on physical beauty.

  • Schwartzie July 12, 2011, 1:29 PM

    Any ugly girls who are up for a quick romp, I’m your guy.

    • Heshy Fried July 12, 2011, 11:24 PM

      Like I always say – quantity over quality

      • prili July 13, 2011, 12:08 AM

        I hear the nursing homes are a good place to prowl

  • Moty July 12, 2011, 1:50 PM

    Yeah, any ugly girls out there? I don’t want to have to try so hard.

    • lowa July 13, 2011, 9:19 AM

      yeah I’m ugly, but oops! sorry, I’m happily married with a real sweet sensitive guy who’s been able to passionately give me many babies. Better luck next time!!

      • Moty December 15, 2011, 6:49 PM

        It’s cool. I found a hottie.

        • Lirehagi December 15, 2011, 8:14 PM

          You do realize that you couldn’t have a girlfriend and ex, not to mention my friend with the glasses (“he’s cute AND nice!”) , into you if you weren’t fine yourself <3

          • Moty December 15, 2011, 10:11 PM

            Bow chika yeah! Also, still not an ex…

  • Mike July 12, 2011, 2:17 PM

    Im sure your inbox is packed, seriously bro?! get a life…

    • A. Nuran July 12, 2011, 4:16 PM

      Is that some kind of double entendre?
      Or is it a single entender and proud of it?
      (H/T to Terry Pratchett)

  • Telz Angel July 12, 2011, 2:58 PM

    Can you be more specific on some of the most important issues:

    What kind of Kippa do they guys wear?
    Do their moms use paper plates on Shabbos?
    What about plastic on the tablecloths?
    Do their have siblings with any mental illnesses?
    Tassle shoes or laces?
    Would they ever open a Steinzatz Gemara?
    Would the girl be able to wear lipstick on shabbos?
    Pre-tear the trojan wrapper on Friday afternoon?
    Would she get her own car?
    Would she have to speak English?
    Is a trimmed landing strip Ok?
    It is Ok if she was once a guy, and she still wears tfillin?
    Would she make the guy toss his stash of magazines?

    Without more clarification of these details, you’ll have a tough time sorting through all the candidates.

    • Batsheva July 12, 2011, 3:23 PM

      You’re always good for a laugh, Telz. Thanks.

    • WACKY MAC & CHOCOLATE PIZZA July 12, 2011, 8:04 PM

      Would she get her own car – SUV with unlimited gas card?

      Is a trimmed landing strip Ok – will she get her own private jet?

      What about shopping sprees – $1,500 a month clothing allowance?

      What kind of house – 6 bedroom mansion along with summer house upstate?

  • Batsheva July 12, 2011, 3:44 PM

    A little poem I wrote last year for all the hot girls out there:

    By Batsheva 8/25/10

    So and so’s a pretty girl
    You hear it all the time
    It doesn’t really mean much
    Not achievement nor a crime

    If someone is born pretty
    Then all that really means
    Is that she’s very lucky
    Fate gave her pretty genes

    Pretty cannot ever make
    The world a better place
    No matter how much people like
    To see a pretty face

    So if you think you’re pretty
    Then I say good for you
    You’ve been blessed with being pretty
    Now, let’s see what you can do

    • lowa July 13, 2011, 9:28 AM

      Cute poem, however, I feel your bitterness; I know, we un-pretty girls are always ignored, we are never the ones asked out first. But hot girls do have a purpose in this world. They sell lots of photos/mags and make many people very rich; but then, why is the divorce rate so high since Cosmo became a household name? So be happy as a woman who searches for meaning. but once in while, spice things up with that Hot girl’s look in the bedroom!!

    • stillwaiting July 16, 2011, 7:45 PM

      love it!

  • Seriously? July 12, 2011, 4:43 PM

    It kind of fits. Shallow guy: meet shallow girl. Who am I to say it is not a match made in heaven?

  • A?οšζ July 12, 2011, 5:19 PM

    Have gόt midos.

    • Anonymous July 12, 2011, 5:27 PM

      Definitely. Gotta have a girl with a nice pair of midos.

  • Tinok ShenishBeth July 12, 2011, 5:20 PM

    Ladies: If you consider this offer please review the section on JOFA’s website regarding pre-nuptial agreements in preventing agunot.

    It is likely that you will get dumped in 10 to 15 years for a younger, hotter version of yourself. You really don’t want to be caught unprepared.

    Heshy – Make better friends.

    Does anyone have Schwartize’s number?

    • Heshy Fried July 12, 2011, 11:31 PM

      I have shwartzie’s number – but if you want I can just forward you his email

  • Alisa July 12, 2011, 5:23 PM

    I hope this is satire.

  • Lirehagi July 12, 2011, 6:43 PM

    Is there such a category as “Jewish girls who constantly get hit on by nonjews and icky 45 yo Jewish guys but never Jewish guys their own age”?

    • Devora July 13, 2011, 10:34 AM


      • Lirehagi July 13, 2011, 6:32 PM

        Thanks for the company and reassurance of sanity

    • Moty December 15, 2011, 6:50 PM

      Eh, stop your complaining. I hit on you like every day. πŸ™‚

      • Lirehagi December 15, 2011, 7:59 PM

        Notice- I haven’t complained ever since πŸ˜‰

  • Mark July 12, 2011, 7:07 PM

    lets face it, hot girls know they’re hot.

    Not all of them. Some are hot but have hardly a clue about that fact.

    • Survivor July 13, 2011, 12:51 AM

      Not all, but most πŸ™‚

  • scarpetta July 12, 2011, 7:22 PM

    This post is so depressing. There’s no shidduch crisis. There’s a Jewish male crisis.

  • Moty July 12, 2011, 7:26 PM

    It’s posts like these that make me feel confident for when I do start dating. I really am not specific on looks (within reason) at all. I feel bad for guys who need to add an extra filter on who they can marry.
    It’s not shallow, it’s a problem for them. I’m sure they’d rather find other girls attractive enough to marry, but they just don’t.

    • Lirehagi July 12, 2011, 8:02 PM

      Where exactly do normal guys like you come from? I’ll need to mass order around 15 for all my friends in around 2 years!

      • Moty July 12, 2011, 8:27 PM

        Idk. Pennsylvania and New Jersey I guess. πŸ™‚

        P.S. That was the first time I’ve ever been called normal πŸ˜‰

        • Lirehagi July 13, 2011, 6:39 PM

          Nearby hunting grounds πŸ˜‰

          Normal- bathes once every 36 hours. Realizes that female humans are people. Doesn’t have the attitude of “I’ll just use a ton of girls, go to israel for a bit, and then marry Miss Perfect”.
          Aims for someone on his level. Nonviolent.
          Realizes that $ doesn’t fall like the manna.
          Basically nice person.

          You aren’t going to be single for long once you start dating, because most of your competition doesn’t fit that definition

          • Moty July 13, 2011, 6:49 PM

            I’ll answer each of those individually because I feel like it πŸ™‚
            Bathes once every 36 hours: Yes, although I’m due now but prefer talking to you.
            Female humans are people: This is true.
            Use a ton of girls: Kind of helps that I’m built more similar to an oompa loompa than to Ryan Reynolds.
            Go to Israel for a bit: Dude. Who do you think I am? Scrooge McDuck? That’s expensive!
            Marry Miss Perfect: I would hope I think my wife is perfect.
            Aims for someone on my level: Or as close as possible πŸ˜›
            Nonviolent: ooh! shiny weapons!
            Money doesn’t fall like Manna: But Manna I wish it would! Right? Right?!?
            Basically nice person: Stop! stop! Ok, yeah I’m pretty nice.

            Thank you! I really hope you’re right! I honestly have no idea what to expect.

            • Lirehagi July 13, 2011, 8:15 PM

              Ok, now that you’re done bathing πŸ™‚

              from what I remember of oompa loompas, they’re short. The 3 guys I knew who got the most action were my height or shorter than me, and I’m a tad under 5″ 4, so I don’t see what the issue is. It’s about how you carry yourself more than height- people think I’m 5″5 in flats because I stand straight and pretend I’m the queen.

              A lot of frum folks go into debt to finance that year in Israel. This is known as STandard Operating Procedure, and yeah, I’ve noticed that it’s an acronym

              I’m a boxcutter gal myself

              the lottery-winning genes have been thoroughly maxed out on both sides. You may still stand a chance though

              What To Expect-depends on the sort of girl you go out with. If you’re accidentally captured in my raid of Pennsylvania and New Jersey, you can expect practical, easygoing, nice girls with interests who just want to avoid the madness. Otherwise, I have no idea how other girls think/feel/behave. DO NOT wear cologne, your natural clean scent advertises your genetic profile (you can google this). Not to mention that most guys OD on that muck.

              • Moty July 13, 2011, 8:26 PM

                I really did just shower. You’re creepy good.
                Well, I’m not shorter than you so that’s a start.
                They should STOP doing that! (And I should stop making horrible excuses for puns)
                What’s aboxcutter gal? Unfamiliar with the term.

                I have noooo idea who I’ll get set up with, because I fit zero hashkafic description, but I hope that’s who I get.
                Cologne doess mell disgusting. I very very very rarely wear any.

                • Lirehagi July 13, 2011, 8:48 PM

                  Well, you SAID you were about to, doesn’t require prophetic powers

                  …and there are lots of girls even shorter than me. You’re not short by most women’s standards, since the average woman in America is 5″4

                  most of our generation has kind of decided not to. Most people I know don’t want to go to seminary, since they don’t see the point of going into debt for another year of High School. This seems to be mainly girls- counting you, there are only 2 guys I’ve heard of who resisted the pressure

                  as in “preferred weapon type”. I went around asking girls what sort of weapon they’d choose. This, IMHO, matters more than other superficial questions, because this had a lot to do with their personalities.

                  Alright, put THE FOLLOWING down for your hashkafah: Jew from a long line of teachers, musicians, Tzionists and winemakers. Observes the 613 mitvos and not the 1,000+ additional commandments that were added around 30 years ago. (if anyone has a more concise way of phrasing this, please do)

                  a sane man walks amongst us. We may breathe through our noses again

                  • Moty July 13, 2011, 10:07 PM

                    If I showered every time I said I should, well, I’d shower alot more than I do.
                    Yes, but girls like wearing heels and not being taller. As someone who’s 5’5″, that limits it to short short girls (I don’t really have a prob with that, just saying it is limiting).
                    Funny, I’ve found the opposite true. Almost all girls I know do Israel and I have many guy friends who didn’t.
                    On the weapon thing, you have achieved hero status. Congratulations.
                    Well that’s pretty vague, now isn’t it? πŸ™‚

                    Can I be sane in the membrane and the brain?

                    • Ansy July 14, 2011, 6:44 AM

                      you guys want to get a room?

                    • Moty July 14, 2011, 10:31 AM

                      For some reason it won’t let me reply straight to ansy, but this is it:
                      Dear Ansy,
                      Does your face want to get a room?

                    • Lirehagi July 14, 2011, 4:35 PM

                      Ansy- your face with those high heels I never wear through your cheeks. Another shidduch made on FS. Kindly buzz off.

                    • Moty July 14, 2011, 4:36 PM

                      Shidduch? You seem cool, but I don’t even know your name!

                    • Lirehagi July 14, 2011, 7:24 PM

                      No, his face and the high heels πŸ™‚

                      you seem cool and all too, but I for one am too immature to shidduch date at all- forget marrying. I just knew all that stuff because I’m almost there

                    • Moty July 14, 2011, 7:27 PM

                      Aha gotcha. Yes hat would be an awesome shidduch. Make it happen!
                      Same here. I’m verya rticulate on here, but in real life, I am def not ready to shidduch date or get married. Heck, I just turned 250 months last week!

                    • Lirehagi July 14, 2011, 8:28 PM

                      So if I’m 211 months, we’re approximately the same age (if you go by the old cliche “boy to girl years conversion factor”). The plan is to hide under a rock for the next 3 years until the Yenta Patrol/maturity finds me- SAVVY, ANSY???

                    • Moty July 14, 2011, 8:37 PM

                      Oh my! 211? You really are young. I assumed you had to be my age or a little older. Yeah you are definitely not in any rush. Find a good rock and stick under it. Just let me know where it is so I can visit and heed your wisdom.

                    • red July 18, 2011, 7:19 PM

                      Reading this little thread within a thread totally made me smile =]
                      and for the record Lirehagi, I got married when I was 214 months. I never intended to but i found the right guy and figured – why wait?

                    • Lirehagi July 18, 2011, 9:07 PM

                      Red- moty isn’t the only one who thought I’m 21. People who see me in person and talk to me in person often think I’m around that age, unless I’m with other people my age. I’m perceived as “MATURE”. & yet I’m one if the few girls at around that age who’s like “whoa, slow down, my life isn’t an express train”

                      I’d assume that you were at the younger end of your class, assuming that you’d graduated HS, but most girls at that age just aren’t ready. The girls who are involved in boys seem to care about 3 things: his money, his appearance, and how much their friends are going to be jealous of her for snagging him. Most of the girls who are all “I want to get married already!!!” and singing the “Kol Chason/I want one” song are only thinking about the s*x, and not about the rest of life (also known as responsibility)

                      THAT is one compelling reason to wait. Not to mention the whole being able to support yourself thing.

                      Listen, don’t even get me started on all the grooming we get to marry young and have kids, like, right away. Not exactly right away, but after Shana rishona. Forgive me for resenting everyone being involved in planning my whole life but me. This gets way worse when random people who assume you’re 22 give you lectures on why you’re not married yet.

                      You found love early and it worked for you. People in your situation are known as “the exception that proves the rule true”

                      is it any wonder that I’m hiding under a rock?or maybe I should wear a “hs student” shirt on shabbos/yt?

                    • Moty July 18, 2011, 9:42 PM

                      Lirehagi- I thought you were actually a lot older originally, like a mom type figure advising me, I only figured you were around my age once you said you weren’t dating yet and a few other things.

    • Way to go Moty! July 12, 2011, 8:30 PM

      Don’t worry. There are LOTS of guys like this who choose to stay single. YOu will never have to worry about competition from them because NO GIRL is hot enough.

      I am 40 years old and recently attended a single’s event at the Kutcher’s hotel. A 60 year old guy kept asking me out. He was never married, and never will be.
      He was picky when he was 30 and 40, which is how he ended up 60 and single and begging me to go out with him.

      • Moty December 15, 2011, 6:56 PM

        Lirehagi, Looking back on this thread, it’s well, kind of funny. Really glad neither of us are dating yet…oh wait… πŸ˜‰

        • Lirehagi December 15, 2011, 8:10 PM

          …we are!

          Tonight I was feeling all sentimental for some reason and decided to reread this (I canceled the subscription AGES ago). *<3 melts*

          • Moty December 15, 2011, 10:12 PM

            Same night as me? OY OY OY MAMISH BASHERT!

          • OfftheDwannaB December 15, 2011, 11:46 PM

            Guys I can’t take being a fly on the wall anymore. *Crash!* Whoa, dude, was that the ice? Sorry, I must have broken it. Now, exchange emails and go to Starbucks already. Mazal tov. All this s*xual tension is making me want to rub one out. Excuse me for a moment.

            • Moty December 16, 2011, 3:29 AM

              Dude. We are WAY past that.

              • OfftheDwannaB December 16, 2011, 1:29 PM

                Reeeeeally. Details please, details.

                • Lirehagi December 17, 2011, 6:07 PM

                  It was our 1-month anniversary since our first date on Wednesday πŸ™‚ <3. Nope, We've never gone to Charbucks and don't intend to. Their coffee is burnt.

                  Hope you find your girl soon!

                  • Moty December 19, 2011, 10:47 AM

                    Well, technically we went to Charbucks in order to find out how to get to Coffee Bean…

                  • OfftheDwannaB December 19, 2011, 4:41 PM

                    Ooh that is so cool! I love both of you, I hope this continues because I’m dying to go to your wedding. No pressure. Just you better invite me. Please?

                    • Lirehagi December 19, 2011, 4:48 PM

                      We actually discussed your blog, and decided that we HAD to invite you, because if you write like that you must be cool. Do you have a FB so we can friend you?

                    • OfftheDwannaB December 19, 2011, 5:19 PM

                      Well, I have this:

                      and my email’s up here: yeshivaforum.wordpress.com/guest-post/

  • AstroTheSpaceDog July 12, 2011, 8:59 PM

    So what are we talking about on a numbers scale? An 8? A 10? No ‘cuties’? A cute girl can move up 2 numbers on the chart you know…and cute never fades.

    To quote Terry Pratchett, “Hugs and kisses tend to get colder over the years, while the cooking only tends to get better”

    • Yosef July 28, 2011, 4:52 PM

      What book is that Pratchett quote from??

  • Survivor July 12, 2011, 9:46 PM

    I’m hot, and friends with a lot of hotties as well. We’re all married. Boo hoo for you, Mr. Shallow Micro Dick. (Yes. size MATTERS!)

  • danielGA July 12, 2011, 11:10 PM

    i’m converting and finding a partner for me is going to be difficult, although i only have three qualifications:

    1— she has to be reasonably attractive. i don’t have to have a supermodel, and frankly what i find attractive is probably going to be different than the stereotypical. she has to be around my age or possibly younger.

    2— she has to be intelligent and argue with me about things. i don’t want someone who agrees with everything i say, i want someone who thinks for herself and wants to do something with her life

    3— she has to have a good taste in music. specifically she has to like early prog-rock genesis.

    • Heshy Fried July 12, 2011, 11:34 PM

      What about king crimson, Yes and Iron Butterfly – if only I were single and a female

    • Ben July 13, 2011, 10:23 AM

      Daniel –

      taste in music can be taught or faked. unless you demand that she be able to engage in long talks about music out of the gate, i wouldn’t demand.

      besides, training them to listen to good music is easier than a lady having acquired it.


  • Heshy Fried July 12, 2011, 11:22 PM

    The funny thing about this whole idea of mine is that all guys are like this, many guys want a chick they are attracted to – the guys in mention happen to be very good looking, very cool and very successful and all the hotties they meet happen to be snobbish mean girls – so I decided to see what would happen if I posted something like this and on Facenbook I actually got some leads.

    I have always been honest when it comes to girls, I simply wouldn’t date girls who weren’t outdoorsy – others have the hotness criteria – I guess it’s a good thing my girlfriend is both hot and an outdoors nut.

  • Just Saying July 12, 2011, 11:42 PM

    Too bad that I’m already taken!
    Looks don’t always comes with brains.Luckily, I have both πŸ™‚
    A lot of girls don’t always get to keep their figures and their looks.Gravity will eventually catch up to them. Guys have that same issue. Once they stop going to the gym, they blow up like a blimp. Thankfully, I have been blessed with a high speed metabolism. That doesn’t mean I compulsively binge on everything in sight. My age is staggering behind me.
    I’m not high maintenance but I do prefer to live comfortably.
    If this guy wants a real knock -out, he also has to come with looks and most importantly a crap load of money. A lot of these hotties are very fastidious and demanding.She normally won’t settle for anything less than what she grew up with.If you won’t be able to pamper her the way her Daddy did then its a lost cause for you. I guess I have an advantage for my parents not making me feel like the center of their world.

    • Heshy Fried July 13, 2011, 12:07 AM

      I think this guys problem is that he’s really too good, but unlike me – he;s looking for a hottie, so I just decided to cut away all the crap and start from square one – just like asking if someone is Jewish or not…I don’t agree with it, but I need to hook a brotha up.

  • Yentapunker July 12, 2011, 11:54 PM

    Hey Hesh-

    When you’re done hookin’ up the frummies… how about finding a busty yenta from So Cal a Jewish hottie of her own. And by hot I mean nerdy and funny as hell.


    • Heshy Fried July 13, 2011, 12:30 AM

      So why don;t you write me a funny ass shidduch profile and I’lkl throw it up on the blog, you are hella cool so it shouldn’t be such a hard time at all.

  • Synapse July 13, 2011, 2:11 AM

    They released a study recently, couples have a better chance at happiness if the woman is better looking than the man. If he’s a good looking guy, he’s gonna need a really good looking girl.

  • Moty July 13, 2011, 4:08 AM

    While we’re on the subject (One I like, because it’s one of the only ones I’m truly open minded on…I am a hateful conservative frummie, ya know ;D), why do guys only want to marry younger? I never understood it. I get the other way, because girls mature faster anyway, so they don’t want to start out behind, but what’s the rational why I should be looking for someone so young? I assume I’m either missing something or that it’s one of those things that are true because society has dictated that way forever (not a good reason to do anything). I’m not bashing, I really just don’t understand.

    • Hayyim 'Ovadya July 13, 2011, 4:53 AM

      They’re typically working on two assumptions:

      1. Youth is associated with physical attractiveness. The assumption is that attractiveness fades with age, so more years of youth means more years to enjoy the physical attractiveness (e.g., a 25-y.o. has 15 more years than of beauty than a 40-y.o., etc.). Since you say that you’re not maqpid on looks, it would be understandable that you don’t get this aspect.

      2. Assuming that a man genuinely wants children, younger = more child bearing years. Especially if you want a big family, there’s a huge difference between marrying a 25-y.o. and a 40-y.o., both in terms of physical plausibility and in terms of potential risks. (It should be noted though that men have a biological clock too.)

      Both of these factors would be at work even if the decision is between a women one’s own age (rather than older than oneself) and one younger.

      I suppose that you could ties these two to societal expectations by questioning the value placed on women’s looks and the weight placed on childbearing, but I don’t that it’s simply an issue men should marry younger “just because.”

      A third possibility is that maybe older women are more assertive, and men don’t want to deal with that?

      • Moty July 13, 2011, 8:45 AM

        1. That’s what I was thinking, but I couldn’t believe that’s what it was. There’s no quantitative amount of years a woman will be “hot” for. Some start looking old at 30 and some not till much much later. To try and guess is just idiotic.
        2. I understand that if the question is marrying a 25 yr old or a 35 yr old, but the average guy out there is dating in his early to mid twenties, but won’t date a girl his own age or a year or two older is ridiculous. A woman is definitely still at child bearing age for awhile, whether she’s 19 or 25. (Re: the parentheses: We have a biological clock? Tony Randall fathered twins at 83, no?)

        3. All women are assertive, get used to it. And the ones who aren’t are too idiotic to deal with anyway.

        • Hayyim 'Ovadya July 13, 2011, 11:39 AM

          1-2. Right, but according to the logic, uncertainty dictates that it’s always better to hedge by going younger.

          (Parentheses: Yeah. It’s not so much about biological plausibility since men are still “productive” into old age, but complications/the probability of developmental issues increases with age for men too. Google “male biological clock.”)

          3. Nothing to add here.

          4. Perhaps a fourth thing is something hinted at in your original comment: it’s not a one-way street, and men’s preferences might not always be strictly to go younger.

          While dating threads always attract at least a few comments from women disgusted by men 10-15 years older, I suspect that the average preference is still probably for a man slightly older but still within the same peer group. The observed average gap of 2-4 years is probably the equilibrium based on the preferences of both sides. I also suspect that the reluctance even for that 2-3 year woman older than man gap is roughly mutual too, i.e., women are as reluctant to go down that 2-3 years as many men are to go up. So while factors 1-3 might be insufficient to explain the observed reality, when coupled with women’s own preferences the age gap may make more sense.

          For example, you could imagine* that men’s preference for women is for 18 y.o. (or 10 years younger than themselves, whichever is higher) to three years older, and that women’s preference is for two years younger to seven years older, resulting in pairings that don’t necessary reflect the full range of preference.

          * Numbers completely made up.

          • Moty July 13, 2011, 11:44 AM

            Okay, I would agree on #4 if the only complaints were from men, but that’s not so. Guys don’t date older. It’s a fact. But, I guess at this point, we’re just going in circles.
            Hehe, after this feed, I know I’mma start getting asked out by ugly old ladies. πŸ™‚

            • Hayyim 'Ovadya July 14, 2011, 8:25 AM

              Well, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think that there are tons of guys actively seeking out older women, just that the tendency to date younger, where some men wouldn’t have so great a hang-up about going 2-3 years older, is exagerrated by many women’s roughly equal preference for men their own age or slightly older.

              • Moty July 14, 2011, 10:29 AM

                True. I’m just complaining about my species. Their position almost sort of makes sense. I don’t get mine.

          • WACKY MAC & CHOCOLATE PIZZA July 13, 2011, 4:21 PM

            The problem is that there are lots of guys in FANTASY WORLD who don’t get married because they have such high expectations.

            I have met quite a number of guys in their mid 40’s who ONLY date a minimum of 15 years younger. These 30-year-old chicks can get guys who are only 5 years older, so why should they marry someone 15 years older?

            It becomes a vicious cycle; An open-minded 30-yr-girl dates guy 45, break up; girls marries someone closer to her age.

            45-yr-guys thinks: This is a NUMBERS game. Time flies and he’s 60 hitting on 40-yr-olds.

      • Bubba Metzia July 13, 2011, 10:27 AM

        A good way to tell how attractive a woman will be when she’s older is to look at her mother. So if her mother still looks good then the woman you’re marrying will still probably look good after a similar time period.

        • Lirehagi July 13, 2011, 6:45 PM

          What if the woman takes after her father’s side (as in people asking if she’s adopted when they only see her with her mother), and the closest relative is a 75-yo grandmother? This system doesn’t seem to work when it comes to this circumstance.

          • Moty July 13, 2011, 6:51 PM

            This. (Had the same question, but was too lazy to get combative)

            • Lirehagi July 13, 2011, 8:19 PM

              As That Girl, I’d prefer to fight this fight . …Anyone have an answer out there?

      • Seriously? July 13, 2011, 10:53 AM

        Most men are too weak to handle a woman who is challenging and/or more intelligent than they are. This is why men want younger wives; it helps with the natural preference to dominate.

        Frankly, it is equally wimpy that women typically prefer older men for the same reasons: they want to be able to look up to him, and they assume that means he will be more mature/assured/wise etc.

  • BillyBob July 13, 2011, 6:40 AM

    Interesting. Please define HOT. You can define your version of it, but not mine or anyone else’s.

    • Heshy Fried July 13, 2011, 7:40 AM

      my version as stated in the post aboive is completely different, but there IS some sort of universal hotness – just pick up some teen porn or something – you’l see.

      • BillyBob July 13, 2011, 8:40 AM

        Again, you look to porn to see what is “universal”? Give me a break. You’re funny, sometimes, but now you’re being stupid and naieve. Ever watch the show “Drop Dead Diva”? I happen to think that BBW chick is way HOT. I’d marry her on looks alone. OTOH, I happen to think Angelina Jolie and Beyonce are butt ugly. Anna Nicole Smith was hot even when she was fat. Lorraine Bracco, Dana Delaney, even Delta Burke, all babe-o-lishus. Lady GagGag is a monster, Marissa Tomei is hot, Gail O’Grady is hot, and even Sinead O’Connor is hot. All my opinions, that don’t count for dick. But hey, you can have your Megan Foxes, I’ll take Emma Watson, cuz she’s young, hot, and I’m a perv.

      • Moty July 13, 2011, 8:47 AM

        One million points to Heshy

    • Bubba Metzia July 13, 2011, 10:37 AM

      Everyone has their own personal standards of hotness. Many women that most men would consider to be hot I don’t find the least bit attractive, and many women that other men might not necessarily consider to be attractive I would. An example being models; many men tend to view models as being the peak of attractiveness, but I don’t find them attractive at all (they’re even skinnier than me, there needs to be at least some meat one their bones).

      But I think what Heshy is looking for with this post is women that mainstream America would consider to be attractive.

  • Ken July 13, 2011, 8:13 AM

    Come to think of it, I think I have the girl for your friend: http://www.hasoferet.com/bar/barbie.shtml

    • Ken July 13, 2011, 9:33 PM

      She’s a real doll!

  • b July 13, 2011, 11:03 AM


    please watch. to all the women who think they’re only as good as how they look, at to all the men who can’t see past the surface.

  • AngryChick July 13, 2011, 12:30 PM

    I’ve been told that I’m hot, and speaking for MOST girls out there- I do NOT want to go out with a guy who only wants a hot chick. Sorry, its demoralizing. In fact, when I get asked out, i ask why they’re asking me- is it bc of what i look like? if yes, then my answer is “no, jerkass, i will NOT go out with you.” I’m looking for a soulmate, not a fuck-buddy.

    • Heshy Fried July 13, 2011, 9:25 PM

      I always figured soul mates were just fuck buddies who cooked you dinner

      • s(b.) July 14, 2011, 1:02 AM

        wow. interesting concept.

      • AngryChick September 15, 2011, 9:48 AM

        guess its why u havent found one yet

    • anon July 14, 2011, 6:17 AM

      I know what you mean . When the guy says “has to be thin”. Well I’m thin but it’s so offputting when that is the guy’s first criteria. Won’t go out with him.

    • PostFFB July 14, 2011, 10:45 PM

      You sound intelligent, I would inquire about your personality because that lasts longer than a fuck.

    • Guest July 27, 2011, 10:10 AM

      I hear your concerns Angry, and you probably won’t look at this response, but here’s my two sense.

      If you are beautiful, in a superficial sense, most men, whether they are good men or not, will find you beautiful, or at the very least attractive (there’s some subjectivity, obviously).

      The problem is that most men who will ask you out will not likely know you very well to begin with (unless you are platonic friends already), so they won’t have much to go on. Perhaps they will have had a few conversations with you, enough to find you charming, but not enough to really know if you are a person with substance and good character traits (it can take a while to know these things).

      So I wouldn’t discount all of those guys. Of course you can be introduced by an intermediary, based on some understanding of your mutual interests/goals/personalities, where the guy you’re set up with doesn’t get a look at you beforehand. You will be more likely to find a guy who’s in the ballpark with regards to these deeper characteristics, but such dating (while superior in my view) has it’s own drawbacks, depending on who’s doing the setting up, and the social context.

      The problem for a pretty woman, if she chooses to date in a more conventional (read secular) way, is that lots of guys may be standing in line to ask you out, which initially can be flattering, but may end up being a big headache for you if most of them are idiots. The problem is, however, that guys number 1-6 may be shallow, but guy # 7 may be fantastic. But by the time you are asked out by guy #7. you may be so disillusioned by then that you turn him away before getting to see how wonderful he is. I’ve seen girls do this before, and end up the worse for it, so don’t let anger blind you too much.

      • AngryChick September 15, 2011, 9:47 AM

        Long time no speak….anyways yeah by this time i’m pretty much against men. I’m considering going lez. Women are much nicer πŸ™‚

  • BillyBob July 13, 2011, 12:44 PM

    I am mainstream America, and I think a woman with an average size of 12-14 is perfect, and no I don’t mean one that is 10 feet tall either. Delta Burke is hot. Angelina Jolie is not.

  • LOL! July 13, 2011, 1:05 PM

    “Not into material things?” Gee, I wonder why this guy is having so much trouble in the shidduch world. All the stunning frum girls know what they’ve got and are interested in wealthy men only.

    • WACKY MAC & CHOCOLATE PIZZA July 13, 2011, 3:10 PM

      That explains the snobbiness of the hot chicks…

  • LOL! July 13, 2011, 3:50 PM

    Snobby? They just know their worth. Why should they marry some regular Yoseph Six-pack when they can get so much more?

    The problem with the friend is not that he’s shallow. It’s just that these girls aren’t interested in him.

    • Devora July 13, 2011, 7:45 PM

      How many frum guys do you know who have a 6-pak?

      • Ken July 13, 2011, 9:30 PM

        That’s Yoseph Six-pack as in Yoseph’s shisha sidrei mishna. He never goes anywhere without his mishnayos.

  • anon July 14, 2011, 6:20 AM

    Turning the tables.

    Heshy, could you get me a line up of wealthy guys. I could only marry someone seriously rich. And he should be able to see inner beauty , ie not overly interested in looks.

  • Michaltastik July 14, 2011, 8:39 PM

    Hot but not shallow? NOPE, men define hot as women who wear crap on their face and heels. The girls who do that are shallow and materialistic. BTW, I’m hot. πŸ™‚

    • Devils adv July 19, 2011, 9:07 AM

      “BTW, I’m hot. ”

      How do you know?

    • Devils adv July 19, 2011, 9:08 AM

      Are you insinuating anything?

  • PostFFB July 14, 2011, 10:47 PM

    I am looking for personality+intellect over hotness. Since most of us on here are college educated this shouldn’t be too hard (be ezrat hashem)

  • Chris_B July 19, 2011, 8:42 AM

    That pic is of a hot girl? Somehow in my mind the phrase “hot” does not imply a 13 year old anorexic.

  • Oy Vey August 1, 2011, 9:51 PM

    HAHAHA this is great. You know half the girls are like damn I wish I could write Heshy and get me some hottness, while the other half are like THIS IS SO WRONG. And also I personally don’t think I know any nonsnobby girl who knows she is hot. Usually even truly attractive girls are just insecure enough to never quite know if they are perceived as hot by guys.

  • jo August 30, 2011, 5:07 PM

    wow man your really fucked up no offense, and that type of marrage most lkiley wont last. So please do us all a favor and get a life.

  • friend September 20, 2011, 7:57 AM

    I am friends with the girl in the picture. And probably lots of other people who read this blog are too because she’s well loved in her community. Given the nastiness of the comments and shaky-morals of the entire post I am pretty surprised you’d do such a thing.

    Embarrassing a fellow Jew is a terrible thing and this is destructive to my friend’s reputation.

  • Anonymous November 8, 2011, 4:55 PM

    all im gonna say.

  • Linda December 15, 2011, 8:39 PM

    What a fantastic read! Hotness is truly in the eye of the beholder. I know I’m attractive because at age 65 I still have non-Jewish men trying to chat me up on the street. As a BT I’ve reformed and would only become involved with a Jewish man. And Jewish men seem to want women of child-bearing age. We’ll see what happens when I wear my new long curly blonde extensions that reach my waist. I am still showing my hair as the extensions are only in the back. I am going to observe the reactions with interest.

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