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99 really goyishe things

I’m not the hugest fan of making lists, but every once in a while I like to bust them out and this came to mind late Thursday night when I opened an email from a fan of mine who attends Ramaz and had an argument with someone there about whether Drakes Cakes were goyishe or Jewish and I really don’t know what the answer is, but if you asked me whether Pork or Cheeseburgers were goyishe or Jewish – I would have to say Jewish – since both are hated, revered and brought up to prove many Jewish points – I would label them as Jewish and not goyishe.

I had a pretty deep list by the time (aprox. 1 in the morning pacific time) I decided to post this idea to Facebook. Typically when I post an idea to facebook I may get upwards of 50 comments. I asked people to give me ideas for really goyishe things (I warned them not to be cheesy – still some people said things like “having concerts during the three weeks and omer”) and within several minutes there were 200 comments – no joke – as of now there are 425 comments on the facebook status update – a personal record.

This list can easily be extended to 1000’s of items long and I kind of want to do similar lists for each sect within Judaism and I hope that you folks can come up with some good ideas, but please keep away from the cheese. I tried to think of things that are REALLY Goyishe and you will notice that I tried to stay away from things like food and places that are very goyishe because that’s too easy.

1.††††† Pork Rinds

2.††††† Surf and Turf

3.††††† Hunting

4.††††† Highschool Football

5.††††† Prom

6.††††† Candy Apples

7.††††† Taxidermy

8.††††† Long stem roses

9.††††† Mini-skirts

10.† BDSM

11.† Renewing their vows

12.† Yachts

13.† Country Clubs

14.† Blond wavy hair

15.† Sun rooms

16.† Backyard barbecues

17.† Garage Sales

18.† Country Music

19.† Utah

20.† Foreskins

21.† Beer cans

22.† Mood lighting

23.† Tanning salons

24.† Truck stops

25.† Dinner parties

26.† Spam

27.† Diesel Pickup trucks

28.† Napa Valley

29.† Jesus

30.† Monster trucks

31.† Lawn care

32.† Chewing tobacco

33.† Nascar

34.† Sports bars

35.† Working on the car

36.† Spandex

37.† Horse back riding

38.† Williams Sonoma

39.† Pimping the car

40.† Hooters

41.† Tramp stamps

42.† Saturday morning cartoons

43.† Brunch

44.† Power tools

45.† Segways

46.† Body shots

47.† Bar fights

48.† Carhart

49.† Overalls

50.† Darts

51.† Corduroy

52.† Mullets

53.† Rat Tails

54.† Cut off shorts

55.† Strippers (strip clubs are inherently Jewish though)

56.† Badminton

57.† Polo

58.† Horse Racing

59.† Tailgating

60.† Chain restaurants

61.† Caviar

62.† Whistling

63.† Jihad

64.† Cracker Barrel (certain chains are kind of Jewish, but cracker barrel is very goyishe)

65.† Sailing

66.† Trailer Parks

67.† Power tools

68.† C-shifts

69.† Unions (this was not the case 50 years ago)

70.† Fish Fridays

71.† Wonder Bread

72.† Civil War reenactments

73.† Renascence fairs

74.† Boars Head

75.† Six Packs

76.† Skatebaording

77.† Rodeos

78.† State Troopers

79.† Waltzing

80.† Kite Flying

81.† Geocaching

82.† Hipsters

83.† Jumping rope

84.† Truck driving

85.† Stinky Cheese

86.† Aperitif

87.† Fencing

88.† Curling

89.† Bloodwurst

90.† Family reunions

91.† Memorial t-shirts (popular in the African American community)

92.† Trough toilets

93.† Prep school

94.† Jock straps

95.† Tea

96.† Model Trains

97.† Keggers

98.† Chain Wallets

99.† Shrines

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