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I hate body wash

The first time I experienced body wash, I was stunned at the stupidity, what was wrong with a simple bar of soap – did they realize how hard it was to get lather up with liquid that was constantly being washing off and having to keep squeezing more out of the bottle? Body wash is like built in obsolecence for body cleaning – you buy a bottle and use a heck of a lot more quicker than with bar soap and it pisses me off.

Yes I completely understand those folks who don’t want stray pubic hairs showing up after a guest uses their bar of soap, I don’t like these people who really make a big deal about others using their bar and therefore force us to use liquid soap, but I understand them. Body wash sucks, anyone who truly values a good bar of soap can relate, but modern “conveniences” have skewed public opinion to the point that when I stay in people’s houses they hide all the bar soap and give me a mini body wash bottle.

Then they invented these body wash receptacles, the modern day wash cloth is not made of cloth and doesn’t do much washing. In fact, the first time I saw one of these supposed wash cloths hanging from the shower faucet, I thought it was a douche, I was scared to touch it and wondered why these frummies would just keep their vaginal cleaning aides sitting in the shower in plain view when they would never publicly admit that they had vaginas in the first place. Of course, years later, at about the same time I learned the difference between “your” and “you’re” I learned what exactly a douche bag was and the wash cloth for body wash it was not.

{ 50 comments… add one }
  • daniel April 6, 2011, 2:09 AM

    i wish i could “like” this, like facebook. this had me in stitches and i don’t think i can really add to it!

    • Heshy Fried April 6, 2011, 3:05 AM

      I’ve asked no less than 4 web guys to give me a like button and no one can deliver.

      • A. Nuran April 6, 2011, 8:04 AM

        I’m testing out a like button on a scratch site as we speak

  • Frumsatire Fan April 6, 2011, 8:29 AM

    In places like France, Italy, Spain, etc. most people use shower gel with a sponge (it doesn’t really work without one or with a washcloth). But yes, my eyes have been opened and now I prefer soap bar too, gel is wasteful, and a wet sponge left in the bathroom is like a Sushi kiddush for germs.

  • dorot April 6, 2011, 9:07 AM

    Body wash is a chemical soup you squirt on your body. The squeegee thing is some modern-day version of the hairshirt. Long live soap bars!

  • Bubba Metzia April 6, 2011, 9:16 AM

    I’m starting to see it more often in hotels. They have it inside the shower connected to the wall. Probably because they don’t want people taking home the extra soaps. I personally prefer bar soap as well though.

  • DavGarr April 6, 2011, 10:07 AM

    Have you ever used Axe body wash ? Or, as they call it in the African American community, “Ask” body wash ?

  • Ed Greenberg April 6, 2011, 1:32 PM

    Since I live in an RV, and don’t want to have a bar of soap clanging around the shower when we drive, I bit the bullet and installed a few liquid dispensers. I use dial-soap liquid. Or the Wal-Mart Equate equivalent.

    I found that a ladies item called a pouf (or is that poof) was of value. It is made of a bunch of plastic netting, so it’s not absorbent, but it holds soap, and suds for washing. Thus you use a squirt of the liquid on the po[u|o]f and it builds up a lather, and you wash yourself. Then rinse the po[whatever]f with hot water, and it’s good to go again. Doesn’t seem like a germ-farm, either, since it was just washed with Dial.

    The Wal-mart large size glug of deoderant soap lasts forever, too.

    Amazing that washing oneself can become so complicated.

  • ben April 6, 2011, 5:52 PM

    Surprised no one posted this yet…
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE

  • J April 7, 2011, 1:36 PM

    @Ed Pretty sure the soap ain’t killing any germs.

  • Tyler April 27, 2011, 8:42 PM

    I came across this post by searching for “body wash sucks” after seeing a commercial for axe. Praise to you sir for calling out this most ridiculous of products. Who in gods name chooses to use body wash over a far superior bar of soap? Sickies, that’s who.

  • Avrumy April 28, 2011, 9:37 AM

    Body wash on a nylon “pouf” makes tons of suds, cleans and exfoliates all at once. You don’t pour body wash on your body or a wash cloth. Sheesh.
    And if you choose your product wisely, you come out of the shower smelling great.

  • gigi August 30, 2018, 8:13 PM

    i never really thought to much about using body-wash over the years until I took a shower the morning of august 30th . i shaved washed my hair like normal then took my wash cloth and put it up to the pump of my body wash dispenser. Then all the sudden I got to thinking how many times am I going to have to pump this thing until the lather covers the washcloth enough so I can use it to wash my entire body? I wanted to find out so I counted. I had to pump it 15 times before the lather got to a point where I could use it for my whole body . Thats it I said I’m going back to bar soap. Call me old fashioned but that to me is ridiculous !!!

  • Anonymous August 30, 2018, 8:17 PM

    So ya Heshy Fried , I totally get where your coming from. Believe me !!!

  • gigi August 30, 2018, 8:21 PM

    ya as far as im concerned bar soap as been working since the dawn of time and its still around today you ever stop to think that there might be a reason for that ?

  • gigi August 30, 2018, 8:50 PM

    as far as im concerned body wash is hyped up marketing CRAP!!! And I hate it !!!!!

  • gigi September 4, 2018, 9:09 PM

    In my humble oppion Dove body wash is the absolute worst!!! i would much rather bathe in a tub full of horse crap then put dove body wash any where near my skin !!!

  • gigi September 4, 2018, 9:22 PM

    hate body wash

  • gigi September 4, 2018, 9:27 PM

    ya body wash is the worst exspeshually dove , Victoria secret, tone , dial or any body wash from the drug store or bath and body works that stuff is nothing but bottled up horse shit and I would never ever bathe in it ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • gigi September 4, 2018, 9:40 PM

    But apparently Glamby Britt has absolutely no problem spending her hard earned money on bottles and bottles of horse shit and then bathing in it.
    Maybe its just me but im starting to think that the BITCH does not have to many friends because she walks around all day long smelling like she just took all her clothes off and rolled in a pile of horse shit got dressed for the day then went out!!!! GROSS!!!!!! That is one DISCUSTING BITCH!!!!!

  • gigi September 4, 2018, 9:47 PM

    ya butt apparently stupid people [glamby britt] have no problem buying stupid products , like body wash and literally flushing their hard earned cash down the toilet . Poor baby I guess she is to stupid to know any better . HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!! I’m glad I’m not like that and am a mature adult who does not use body wash because she does know better!!! πŸ˜‰

  • gigi September 4, 2018, 10:15 PM

    YA YOU HEAR ME GLAMBY BITCH GROW UP AND START USEING BAR SOAP LIKE EVER OTHER NORMAL SENSIBLE ADULT!!!! OR YOU CAN JUST CHOSE TO DO IT YOUR WAY AND NOT CHANGE OVER TO BAR SOAP AND HAVE YOUR MOM GIVE YOU A BATH WITH YOUR BODY WASH AFTER YOU HAVE A BLOW OUT IN YOUR PANTS!!! THATS PRETTY NORMAL FOR YOU THOW IS”NT IT !!!!!

  • Gigi September 5, 2018, 1:10 AM

    Amen Tyler amen!

  • Gigi September 5, 2018, 1:42 AM

    Ya glamby Britt is a dumbass person who uses dumbass products because she knows no better . God I feel sorry for that fat ugly bitch . Hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha

  • Gigi September 5, 2018, 9:40 AM

    Ya glamby bitch your dove body wash smells like a 2 month old diaper and news flash bitch so do you !!!🀣🀣🀣🀣

  • Gigi September 5, 2018, 9:58 AM

    Ya glamby bitch do me a favor read this excellent article and stop using body wash you fat whale πŸ‹!!!!!!! hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha hahaha!!!!!!

  • Gigi September 5, 2018, 10:04 AM

    Ya glamby bitch grow up and use bar soap like every other mature grown adult who knows how to think before they buy something to use .

  • Gigi September 5, 2018, 10:09 AM

    Ya glamby bitch do me a favor get rid of your body wash or should I say horse shit in a bottle and get some bar soap like every other mature adult like myself πŸ˜€ uses.

  • Gigi September 5, 2018, 10:12 AM

    Ya glamby bitch grow up !!!!!!!!!!!

  • Gigi September 5, 2018, 10:13 AM

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