So you think you could be a lubavitcher?

An oldie but a goody!

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  • Anonymous

    Take it from personal experience, you do not want to be a Lubavitcher. They may be very open-minded and easy going with people outside of the community, but internally the system is completely different. I have many friends who were not given an education and lack the capacity to be Shluchim. Shortly after getting their Smicha/married, they realize they are high and dry and there is no one to help them. In stead of understanding these bochurim, they are seen as “dropouts,” and experience the associated stigma. Many are bitter about being forced through an educational system that could never work for them. When they try to pick up the pieces, they find friends and family looking down at them disparagingly when they glance at a GED application.

    Chabad are rather closed-minded in their ideology, and their theology and philosophy differ greatly from traditional Jewish thought. Philosophy and questioning are frowned upon. Perhaps this is just personal experience, but I have found Chabad Roshei Yeshiva to be among the most vindictive people I have ever met.

    I do not disagree with the other positive aspects of the community. However, somebody who is Chabad-affiliated is definitely in a better position to appreciate them.

    • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

      I would never join any Jewish movement, I don’t agree with any one movement and prefer to stay on the fringe.

  • i hope FS is next

    Fs=doucHe

  • Shrink

    Brilliant peice! I am moving to a Lubavitcher community soon-very informative. I know the women are hot, but are they loose, as well?…can anyone confirm. Also, I have been practicing with some shiksas recently-are the lubabs an upgrade…and if I claim BT status, would all be forgiven about the shiksas? Will this work even tho I went to Yeshiva and am an FFB, but the yeshivas were litvish and not Lubavich..And is there a buffer time needed-meaning, how long since being with a shiksa before I can claim the BT status and be allowed with the Lubabs? Anyone out there have some advice-

    • Steinbeck

      My advice: go screw yourself.

      • Shrink

        Steinbeck-how would that help? My dilemma is screwing shiksas vs. Lubavitcher hotties-adding screwing myself would just complicate things.
        The funny thing about you, Steinbeck, is that I bet if I polled the entire readership of this blog, I bet they say if given the chance, you would jump into a menaj with me and the shiksa/Lubavicher. So how bout it, eh?

  • Shrink

    My Mistake-I neglected to end my comment appropriately: Yechi…Adonainu….Moreinu….Virabainu…Melech…Hamoshiach….Liolam…V’ed.

  • Marc

    i disagree chabad girls r hot, in vancouver all the chabad girls r all horrible, just my opinion of course, but ask ben kaye he’ll verify for me

  • http://joannawall.co.cc/ Joanna Wall

    Brilliant peice! I am moving to a Lubavitcher community soon-very informative. I know the women are hot, but are they loose, as well?…can anyone confirm. Also, I have been practicing with some shiksas recently-are the lubabs an upgrade…and if I claim BT status, would all be forgiven about the shiksas? Will this work even tho I went to Yeshiva and am an FFB, but the yeshivas were litvish and not Lubavich..And is there a buffer time needed-meaning, how long since being with a shiksa before I can claim the BT status and be allowed with the Lubabs? Anyone out there have some advice-

  • Shrink

    Joanna-…..shall we say imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

  • yitz

    heshy, WHEN WILL U SHAVE?!?!?

    • Anonymous

      I agree, you are hilarious but most of the time I do not know if I am laughing at your hair or your jokes! Please, please have a haircut. Lubavitchers and litvishers do not have hair as long as yours, so you can still be both with less hair.