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Chanukah Pickup Lines

Just because pickup lines are corny doesn’t mean they can’t be fun, actually as lame as these are, I was smiling and laughing to myself the whole time – so at least I was entertained – though I hope you will be too!

I can go longer than those shabbos chanukah candles

I’d love to take your dreidel for a spin

Hot oil rubs are a mitzvah on chanukah

I’d love to dip my latkes in your apple sauce

Relax, I won’t be cutting your head off tonight

I’d love to see your sword

I’ll make you explode like the first bite of a jelly donut

Wanna play with my dreidels

I’ve got plenty of gelt to go around

I’d love to defile your temple

Let’s try and do it for 8 nights

I love how shapely your Antiochus is

If your parents walk in we can pretend we were playing dreidel

Is that a Maccabean Sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

I’d love to take a look at your shamash

{ 11 comments… add one }
  • Rubin December 2, 2010, 1:58 PM

    How about: let’s drink a sixpack of Miller Lights; after all it is the “Festival of Lights”

  • Yankel December 2, 2010, 2:53 PM

    Hesh, you can do so much better than this “Perverted Yom-Tov” thing.
    Really, the xtranormal stuff is much funnier.
    You’re too mature for this.

    Am I imagining things when I think I see this site gradually becoming a more intelligent place?

    Don’t you think it’s time for us to call the “Laugh at 8th grade humor” posts a thing of the FrumSatire past?

    Maybe even beneath your dignity a little?

    • Heshy Fried December 3, 2010, 3:41 PM

      Thanks for the vote of confidence and yes the last two years has transformed the intellectual ability of my writing and yes it may beneath my dignity to you, but at work we all make dick and fart jokes all day so I’m always up for a little really lame and immature humor to throw in the bag.

      • Yankel December 4, 2010, 4:52 PM

        It can be beneath your dignity even if you get a kick out of them.
        I’ll admit that I even chuckled by one or two sick posts.

        The point is to act based on your recognition what is proper and improper. Not based on ‘Will I laugh or not”.

        Whatever, it’s your site man. I’m just offering you a perspective you might have missed.

  • anonymous December 2, 2010, 7:47 PM

    those are very funny!

  • question December 3, 2010, 3:56 PM

    howd u like cover my latke with your sour cream 😉

  • Anonymous December 5, 2010, 9:58 PM

    it wont take a miracle to keep me burning for eight nights

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