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Eruv deemed offensive

Recent attempts to place an eruv in a small town in Tennessee have backfired as residents both Jewish and non-Jewish come out in full force against the project. Many orthodox Jews believe that carrying on the sabbath is considered work and will only do so if there is a string attached to utility poles and other high objects, they believe that this project will create a private Jewish ghetto in which they can carry in, but there are major issues.

The project is believed by many to be an eye sore, “the string looks so ugly” according to resident Charlene Jenkins, she said that the project was set to enclose her house in this so called “Jewish ghetto” and she was very “displeased” with the situation. Another resident of the enclosed area told us that he was angry because he felt his homing pigeons would not be able to see the the string and it may pose a hazard to them.

At recent town hall meeting on the project one council member asked “How on earth do these Jews expect to offset the carbon footprint of the project? Do they think they czan just waltz in here and force their religion on everyone?” But the Eruv project strikes a deeper vein, Pulaski is the city in which the Ku Klux Klan was founded and traditionally the KKK as they are affectionately called didn’t like Eruvim very much. In fact there are unofficial accounts of the KK purposely burning crosses in the area of Eruvim on Friday nights so the Eruv would be down, but no one know – because it was after the official announcement in shul.

Surprisingly the biggest critics are the Jews, they are scared what the goyim will think, “we don’t want them to think we’re crazy, we gave up our ghetto look many years ago and they still didn’t treat us right, we’ve tried so hard to intermarry, assimilate, take on the customs of the goyim and now these Ghetto Jews want to bring us right back to where we started as Greenhorns” the local Re-constructionist Rabbi told us. Other secular Jews agree, the last thing they want for their peaceful non-religious lives is a symbol of religious freedom, they are free to practice religion in their homes, but this – according to the ACLU is a clear violation of church and state!

{ 35 comments… add one }
  • yakov October 14, 2010, 10:05 AM

    “church and state” lmao

    P.s. first comment!

  • David October 14, 2010, 1:56 PM

    Not funny.

    Many recent posts have felt forced. Let it flow naturally.

  • Synapse October 14, 2010, 5:56 PM

    Not funny especially because this actually happens a lot and the “joke” lines are what people actually say.

  • nashville October 14, 2010, 8:20 PM

    There’s never been a problem in Nashville with the Eruv. Pulaski’s not too far away.

  • Phil October 14, 2010, 9:21 PM

    Your laughing, but the Outremont section of Montreal had this sort of problem. The local non Jews raised a protest against the planned Eruv claiming that they wouldn’t be able to fly kites in their backyards anymore!

    • suitepotato October 16, 2010, 8:58 PM

      That seems kind of silly since really good kite flying requires back yards much larger than generally found around Montreal proper.

      • Phil October 16, 2010, 9:39 PM


        Very silly, total racism, as there is no way anyone can fly a kite in Outremont back yard.

  • lowa October 15, 2010, 6:39 AM

    I say strength in numbers… if there are 10 jews who need this eruv, then move somewhere else. If 5 000 Jews need it, then maybe it’s votable…

    • John October 15, 2010, 11:18 AM

      America doesnt work that way, Minorities have rights to. Could you (or anyone else) please explain to me how opposition to an eruv isnt based on outright bigotry. True Orthoodx Jews will come, and the neighborhood may change, but on what grounds would that be banned? To me its much like the ground zero mosque, i may not like it, but they have every right to build their mosque

      • Phil October 15, 2010, 12:25 PM


        Though they may have the right to build the mosque, the rest of America also has the right to hate them for it. I think most Americans sees it as a slap in the face.

        The bastard in charge is now trying to threating America into allowing it, using the “you have to, or the muslim world will hate you even more” bullshit.

  • Avrumy October 15, 2010, 1:19 PM

    I prefer following religious rules where ther are no strings attached. LOL

  • Bubba Metzia October 15, 2010, 1:37 PM

    I heard about this happening in Westhampton Beach, NY a few days ago. It’s happening in other places also right now?

  • Heshy Fried October 17, 2010, 1:39 AM

    The entire point of this post was to portray the stories I have heard from Eliyahu Fink in his quest for an eruv in the Venice Beach community, I was sure others had similar situations so I decided to do a satirical piece on the issue. Most, not all, of my pieces which are satire – are usually based on real life events – but this should be obvious to most of you. I hope.

  • Batya October 17, 2010, 5:51 AM

    The shabbat eruv is no laughing matter. Freedom of religion is to observe religion not to prevent people from observing religion. Nobody notices the funny wires except those out to inspect them.
    The biggest danger is the spiritual. Those who know no other Jewish life than living within an eruv and then spend Shabbat somewhere without, totally obliviouis to the fact that they are breaking Shabbat law.
    The same people who ask to see the kashrut certificate in a restaurant don’t bother asking if there’s an eruv in the place they are staying on Shabbat or what the boundaries are.

  • Benyamin Solomon October 14, 2012, 8:23 PM

    This article is really crappy. First off, an Eruv doesn’t turn anything into a Ghetto. It’s invisible to those, who are not looking for it. All it does is allow Jews to carry on Shabbat. That’s it. Those opposed to having an Eruv can go to hell for all I care.

  • Benyamin Solomon October 14, 2012, 8:26 PM

    lol… What’s so offensive about a barely invisible string that allows Jews to carry on Shabbat? Those not bound by the carrying rules on Shabbos don’t have their lives effected one iota with this Eruv.

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