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Making reservations for succos this year

Making Reservations for Succos this Year.

Guest post by Telz Angel

Things are getting pretty interesting in this town of Shaker Flats, MN.  My favorite shul, Congregation Eruv Rav, invited all shul members, and especially the children in the community, to a sukkah decorating party this Sunday, after Yom Kippur.  All are welcome to bring arts and crafts supplies and make this the nicest sukkah ever.  The theme this year is Chanukkah!

I thought that was an odd theme, but the shul maskil (the only guy who reads nach and books about Torah written by people with Ph.Ds) told me that there is a relationship between the two holidays.  Both are 8 days long, both celebrated a dedication of the Bais Hamikdosh (look it up in nach), and remember: the Beis Shammai’s reason for lighting fewer candles every night was based on the korbanos of sukkos — we don’t hold of Beis Shammai, of course.  So we all have to make Chanukkah decorations for the shul sukkah.  Still — it’s pretty odd.  But then I learned what the real reason was…

Turns out, the shul has a new policy this year.  Members can’t use the shul sukkah doing yontif this year.  We can only use it for kiddush on the first days.  Last year we had families actually bring their food to the shul sukkah and use it for meals.  Crazy!  They said that they did not have a sukkah of their own.  Peasants!  No — Vagrants!  It made the Shul Board so uncomfortable to think that we have such people in our community.  Members, no less. They thought about the problems that allowing people use the shul sukkah might bring — you know, like insurance, cleaning up, and stuff like that.  But Channukah provides the great motto: “vi’ein lanu rishus lihishtamesh ba’hem, ella lirosum bilvad” (meaning: we don’t have permission to use them, only to look at them).  This originally referred to the channukah candles, of course.  But it works in this context too.

The good news is that I have a nicely decorated sign with those exact words.  I used to put it up on the mechizah of my old shul every Purim.  That is, until the Ruv got the joke.  So I plan to bring that sign to the Sukkah decoration party next week. I think it sends the right message.

I heard that  the proletarian members of the shul are planning to go to Congregation Chevras HaOvdim for their meals.  The webmaster there is setting up an online reservation system for their shul sukkah using opentable.com.  So if you want to eat in a sukkah this year and you don’t have your own, make your reservations early — or just plan on eating shehakol foods all week.

{ 15 comments… add one }
  • waiting September 19, 2010, 9:15 AM

    just a lot of wows. thats so sad that the rav is not more open to helping his community

    • kissmeimshomer September 19, 2010, 12:42 PM

      is this satire or real…its not fried so i dunno…?

      • Yankel September 20, 2010, 12:00 PM

        “Cong. Eruv Rav”? C’mon kissmy, even I picked up on that one.

        • Telz Angel September 20, 2010, 1:29 PM

          Dude, that’s the only part of the post that was true. The rest was satire.

  • Woodrow/Conservadox September 19, 2010, 1:32 PM

    Shaker Flats is the dead giveaway that its not real- the big Jewish area in Minnesota is St. Louis Park (an inner ring suburb of Minneapolis)

    • Telz Angel September 20, 2010, 1:32 PM

      How can anyone trust you? You use the prefix “conserv” in your name and you blog on Tripod. That’s three strikes against you.

  • Anonymous September 19, 2010, 2:20 PM

    Peoples! Thus is satire! Can’t you tell?

    Heshie, this ones good 🙂 thanks for making me smile today.

  • OfftheDwannaB September 19, 2010, 4:19 PM

    Telz Angel u rock. ‘chevras haovdim’ – cute.
    PS My uncle said some guys in ner israel put up that Ein lanu reshus… sign over the ezras nashim one year on purim.

    • Telz Angel September 19, 2010, 4:27 PM

      We did it in Telz too — many years ago. I’m glad you enjoyed it. Yes, it’s satire — which means that some of it is true and some of it is funny. You guys have to decide which it which.

  • orthonator September 19, 2010, 8:56 PM

    Lol very interesting

  • SML September 20, 2010, 7:10 AM

    I like the Chanukah theme. Your Shuls Sukkah will definitely be the unique one in the neighborhood.

    • Telz Angel September 20, 2010, 1:37 PM

      Mashing up the holidays is fun. There is a well known minhag to eat matzah in the sukkah and to burn last year’s lulav with the chametz.

      BTW, I once had a seder at someone’s house who decorated the whole table in Egyptian-inspired items. The tablecloth, service dishes, and everything was all pyramids, pharaohs, and hieroglyphics. It was very cool, but got me thinking what they table must look like on Yom Hashoah.

  • Schwartzie September 20, 2010, 5:16 PM

    Who’s the hottie boombottie in the picture? I just wanna lick her midriff. Toight.

  • Schwartzie September 20, 2010, 6:48 PM

    Now I read the post. It is very clever, and I like it a lot. Before I only looked at the picture. Heshy, take down the picture. It is distracting.

  • Batsheva September 21, 2010, 2:10 AM

    There really is a strong connection between Chanukkah and Sukkot.
    Read about it here: http://www.sichosinenglish.org/books/vedibarta-bam/141.htm
    The one thing they leave out is that they both have two k’s in the middle. I mean, seriously, how many words have double k’s?

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