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One strange shidduch story

I met a guy recently who told me the following story, like most people I had to twist his arm to let me post it with everything changed so no one would ever know who it is, though for some reason people always thinking I’m talking about them. I will tell it in first person so it makes more sense.

While I was in grad-school and yeshiva one of my friends was paid by his parents to date. He was a very elligible bachelor who didn’t feel like dating, but when your parents offer you $300 to go out on a date and pay for the cost of a date, it’s hard to say no. He came from a rich family and naturally he took out very wealthy girls.

This story came up when this kid asked me if I had ever gone out on a yeshivish date where the father talks with you over candy and cookies that you aren’t supposed to touch, the mother comes in and says pleasantries and then you hear the heels on the hard floor and everyone turns to look at the girl. For the record, I have been on several shidduch dates as the one mentioned and I loved them all because it’s so interesting and the tension/awkward factor is through the roof.

Back to the story: My friend and I had similar stats, we learned in the same yeshivos, knew most of the same people and looked the same, so after being set up with this girl from (enter wealthy frum NY area place) we decided to pull a switch on the girl, my friend would get out of the date and I would make $150 and have this great story to tell to all of my friends.

Turns out the one of the girls parents was friendly with my one of my friends parents from back in the day so I had to learn the family history, what they did, where they were from and random facts. I show up at the house and the father is sitting there at this grand table filled with nosh, we start talking and he throws a curve ball, he tells me he was in Israel and he saw my friend from the Mir, you have to show confidence and since he didn’t mention a name I said “oh you mean Sruly, how’s he doing” the father replied that he didn’t think it was Sruly, but I told him it definitely was. He caved and said, he guesses he forgot his name.

I took the girl out on the date and had her and family convinced that I was my friend, all went well until my friend calls me up a couple years later and says those words you never want to hear from anyone “we have a big problem.” He says that the girl he is marrying not only knows the girl who we did this to, but that she is best friends with her and that if she knew this had ever went down – she wouldn’t marry him.

It turned out that we all met up at the wedding and the girl had no idea, like many older single girls she must have gone out with so many guys that they all blended together after a while.

This is not satire

{ 46 comments… add one }
  • Guest August 10, 2010, 4:56 PM

    I may be dense, but I don’t really understand this story, and in large part, I believe, due to some agrammatic writing.

    I’m not trying to be critical, but this story may not have quite the narrative impact if you don’t touch it up a bit.

    Here’re the main parts I don’t get:

    “he tells me he was in Israel and he saw my friend from the Mir, you have to show confidence and since he didnt mention a name I said oh you mean Sruly, hows he doing the father replied that he didnt think it was Sruly, but I told him it definitely was. He caved and said, he guesses he forgot his name.”

    What’s the drama here?

    “I took the girl out on the date and had her and family convinced that I was my friend,”

    That I was my friend?

    • Heshy Fried August 10, 2010, 5:03 PM

      Yes all of that is how it’s supposed to sound – there are two guys who switch for a date- sounds pretty simple to me.

      • Guest August 10, 2010, 5:18 PM

        Dude, sorry about that–I should have read one of your opening paragraphs closer.

  • JH August 10, 2010, 5:03 PM

    I am like-wise confused. 🙁

  • Anonymous August 10, 2010, 5:07 PM

    Boy was i glad when I read the comments. I felt dumb but I guess its not just me

  • Malya August 10, 2010, 5:10 PM

    May not be satire, but sure is funny.

    • Ben August 10, 2010, 6:06 PM

      its almost like a little disclaimer

  • Julie August 10, 2010, 6:21 PM

    What if you happened to fall in love with the girl? It’d be like a frum romantic comedy!

  • Bubba Metzia August 10, 2010, 6:25 PM

    This sounds kinda like that movie Shnei Kuni Leml.

  • anon August 10, 2010, 6:51 PM

    “if she knew this had ever went down she wouldnt marry him.”

    what kind of engagement hinges on a little detail from the guys past??

    • Tova August 11, 2010, 12:08 AM

      Yeah, I don’t get that. If I were that woman, I’d think it was hilarious!

    • Perfection August 11, 2010, 9:51 AM

      Maybe that hes a jerk.

    • Anonymous August 11, 2010, 12:23 PM

      it’s character defining

    • Debbie Far Rockaway August 12, 2010, 11:55 AM

      What kind of engagement hinges on what color tablecloth the mother uses? You have to ask?

  • Outraged August 10, 2010, 7:08 PM

    The little inside joke is mean and childish. Thank you for reminding me what I hate about “frumkeit”. Yeshivah boy justifys shmucky behavior because the little prince hates to date and his loser friend makes a few bucks at someone else’s expense. Sounds a touch gay to me, not that there is something wrong with that. HA HA! Hysterical! Not.

  • Hot August 10, 2010, 8:41 PM

    This post made me HAWT! Really hot…

  • Question August 10, 2010, 9:50 PM

    Did the girl who was tricked eventually get engaged and married to someone else? Because if she did, why would it even matter?

  • A. Nuran August 10, 2010, 10:36 PM

    Wow, a male escort service. All the venality. None of the fun.

  • insearchofhubby August 11, 2010, 12:56 AM

    That is a very sad story. I sincerely hope the story is made up, and has no basis in real life.

    • Heshy Fried August 11, 2010, 1:37 AM

      It’s real I can assure you

    • eyekanspel August 11, 2010, 3:17 AM

      This story made you sad? You need to get out more. Personally, I find it pretty funny. If people could just take life a little less seriously at times, the “search for hubby” could be so much more pleasant. Good luck with the search 😀

      • insearchofhubby August 11, 2010, 10:44 AM


        Careful with making an assumption that I don’t get out more. As it happens, I am quite a social and outdoorsy butterfly. You know, in general making assumptions is not wise, because assumptions are core of any problems…

        Indeed the story is sad. For two grown men to think that pulling this time of a prank is OK to do is sad. You thinking it is funny also saddens me. Whatever happened to being respectful to people’s’ feelings and sense of dignity?

        I sincerely hope that people don’t utilize “taking life a little less seriously” by being complete jerks (which what the guys in the story are), and find more creative ways.

        Thank you for your concern about my “search for hubby”. Thus far it has been very pleasant.

        • eyekanspel August 11, 2010, 5:21 PM

          I respectfully disagree with you. Firstly, when I said you “need to get out more,” I didn’t mean it literally as you assumed. You should not make assumptions “because assumptions are core of any problems” 😛
          I meant that in light of the REALLY sad things that actually go on in this world (and the Jewish world, as well), a lighthearted prank such as this is actually funny, not sad. I did NOT mean that you need to leave the house more often, but that you might be missing some knowledge of certain elements of the “outside world.” I know you will dispute this assertion as well, but that is what I meant. I think the reason I find this funny is that I find this funny! If I was the girl that this happened to, I think I would find it quite funny as it shows a kind of personality that I like. I think this only comes across as disrespectful and undignified when dating is being taken too seriously. That is the point we disagree on. But what do I know anyway; I’m a non-dating 21 year old male. I guess we just weren’t meant for each other. What a shame 😛
          Let’s move along now…

          • insearchofhubby August 11, 2010, 5:45 PM

            Dating is a serious business. Part of dating is learning how to open up and talk about yourself, deal with your emotions, getting over discomfort of meeting a total stranger, and etc. None of that is easy for most people. Majority of people are socially awkward and have hard time relaxing, espessially frum kids who have been seperated from opposite sexes for most of their lives.

            If you think that dating isn’t a serious business, it is good that you are not dating because you come across a bit frivilous about the whole matter.

            Sense of dignity and respect are must at all times, including inside and outside of a joke. One can joke in a dignified manner. This particular prank is cruel.

            • eyekanspel August 12, 2010, 5:23 AM

              I never said dating wasn’t serious. However, in my opinion at least, taking it so seriously as you suggest exacerbates the discomfort, while taking it lightheartedly (NOT lightly) helps alleviate that discomfort. This particular prank was probably out of place simply because the guy(s) probably did not know or care about how the girl would react. If (somehow) they knew that the girl looked at dating my way and not your way, and would therefore not take it badly, I see nothing wrong with the prank in and of itself. I hope you understand the distinction I am trying to make between taking dating (or anything, really) seriously but approaching it in a relaxed manner, and not taking dating seriously at all.

  • Mike August 11, 2010, 2:02 PM

    Should i feel smart cus i understood the story first time i read it? 🙂

    • Anonymous August 11, 2010, 11:25 PM

      Not just smart, but friggin brilliant! (said in jest only) Rather lost on how one can have difficulty understanding it. It may not be grammatically up to par, but it is easily understood. In addition, it is rather funny, despite it being rather mean.

  • Debbie Far Rockaway August 12, 2010, 12:00 PM

    I understood it the first time. Now of course, this is an example of double g’neivah:

    g’neivaas mamon, because the guy took his parents’ money under false pretenses.

    g’neivas daas, because everyone thought he was going out on the date, not his friend.

    Of course, this kind of switch is the reason we have 12 tribes and not just 2, so go figure.

  • Yankel August 12, 2010, 6:42 PM

    Well I know of a girl who came back from cem and decided she wanted to start dating right away, but she had no idea how it was supposed to happen, so she needed some practice.
    Surprisingly HER PARENTS CONSENTED (retards) and called a shadchan, said yes to the first name they were given, did some very basic research just to make sure the guy wasn’t a psycho rapist or the like, and in no time – the guy was at the door picking their daughter up.

    You can guess the end…
    Basically she liked him and they got married. Now there’s someone who better make sure her spouse never finds out the real deal behind their shidduch.

  • SAM September 23, 2010, 5:23 AM

    Dude this would have been better if u really liked her….then it would be a story.

  • BiggestFish November 9, 2010, 5:03 PM

    I consider this story to be offensive. Also illuminating. Reflects the Jewish worlds attitude towards girls. It is very disrespectful to the girl and her family to pull a switch. Not to mention the parents of the boy.

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