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Stuff Chassidim Like

This post was going originally going to be Stuff Charedim Like. Miss Frum n’ Flippin convinced me that Charedim and Chassidim are two very different animals – I knew this and decided to change the article to plain old Chassidim. In America we really don’t have Charedim — we have more loosely defined categories than Israel. In fact, Israelis actually use their categories for all sorts of things — like not letting you apply to their school because you’re a part of one sect and not the other.

Stuff Chassidim Like:

Heimishe: Chassidim love all things heimishe. They have this steakhouse in Brooklyn that calls itself the only heimishe steakhouse. Then there’s the heimishe hoagie at Chap a Nosh. They talk about crowds being heimishe, and while it supposedly means warm, it really means chassidish and undoubtedly comes to mean of lower quality.

Riots: These past two years have been seminal for riot lovers in Israel. Chassidim took the streets defending their civil rights that had been taken away. Intel was open on Shabbos, the governments parking lot was open on Shabbos, women were davening at the wall but they were laining too. The new bridge in Jerusalem allowed for up-skirt shots from the street. They used to set aside stones to throw on Shabbos, but figured that burning dumpsters after Shabbos was better and more fun.

Polish Nobles: I heard that the chassidish garb is because they want to emulate Polish Nobles of the 19th century. I have no idea how it became halacha to wear a streimel, but they are cool and provide a good nest egg should you ever need $3,000 on the fly.

Button Down Shirts: Not only do men wear button down shirts — the women wear them too. Women are into pink and they tend to button them all the way to the top.

Bungee Cords: To hold the car together of course!

Illegible Hechsherim: Why is it that you cannot read most Chassidish hechsherim? Seems like a conspiracy to me. If it looks like Yiddish, it must be kosher.

Littering: If you ask any Chassid why their neighborhoods are so dirty they will undoubtedly tell you that its because they have so many kids and soits hard to keep track of the filth. Lame answer. The other answer is that cleaning up trash is bitul Torah. So I ask you why do Chassidim love to litter?

Triple Parking: I tried to invent a video game once that made people test their triple and double parking skills on 13th avenue. It never saw fruition but triple parking is still all the rage in Boro Park.

Real Estate: Chassidim are great at real estate deals. I have no idea how they figured on Williamsburg, but they bought in early. In general Chassidim are big in the real estate game. They buy properties in very random places and own lots.

Mikvah: Chassidim love going to the mikvah. I feel like its the only chance they get to shower.

Cholent: In Monsey you can buy it in the gas station. I am sure other places do that too. I wonder if there are vending machines that sell cholent? Chassidim are obsessed with cholent — its like their energy source or something.

Hitchhiking: The last I remembered, the entire market for 15 seater vans was dominated by Chassidim. Can someone tell me why white and navy blue are such popular colors? Why are all these chassidim clutching black shopping bags and holding their hats down in the wind always hitchhiking? Does it have something to do with the game chicken? They are wearing black and walking very close to the shoulder in the middle of a cool Catskills evening.

Federal Aid: Welfare, Section 8 housing, Medicaid, government sponsored bussing, school vouchers, etcChassidim are experts at getting federal aid. I worked as a school lunch auditor and those Chassidim know the system. Everything is fairly legal besides the real estate developers that build section 8 housing for their families. If not for the chassidish Medicaid office in Williamsburg, I would have never been able to get government health care. Of course I then got a job and couldnt have it anymore.

Staring: Ever notice that Chassidim love to stare at you? If you dont look frum they stare and point and debate in Yiddish if you are a yid or a goy. It doesnt make a difference if you are wearing a yarmulke and tzitzis. If you dont look like a frummy, you will get a staring.

Other stuff they like:

Fur hats



The Catskills

Rye Bread

Shaved heads both men and women

Dressing all the kids in the same outfit

Working in Diamonds

Tznius patrols



Stuff Chassidim Dont like:

Legal System: Chassidim dont really believe in the legal system. Malchusay Dinah doesnt really apply to them and it shows. They love to handle with the law, occupy illegal sites, build illegal yeshivas, multi family dwellings and are constantly breaking the law in some way who can blame a group of people stuck in 19th century shtetl mentality?

Zionism: The last time I checked, the Chassidim didnt openly support Niturei Karta — but if you speak to Chassidim, they dont really say bad things about them. Sure, denying the holocaust is kind of lame, but having Israel before moshiach comes is downright insane.

Color: In trying to recreate the 1800s, the Chassidim decided that color isnt an option. That being the case, everyone dresses in black, white and gray. The women are allowed dark navy blue and dark green as well.

Deodorant: It may be their love affair with mikvahs, but Chassidim smell terrible — maybe it has something to do with ointments being vanity not sure. The women smell worse than the men.

Women: If not for sex, babies and cooking I bet you they would ban women. I guess the whole point of having women within Chassidic society is so they can keep banning things — slowly stripping away womens rights until men have all of the power.

English: I have met Chassidim in New York city that dont speak or understand English, I wonder if the super right wing Jews who are into forcing people to speak English in America want to ship these people back to where they came from Williamsburg.

Admitting Wrong Doing: A Chassidic man could be caught red handed in the middle of something illegal, but no matter what happens they will defend him. Chassidim show up in court to support child molestors and swear that no one Chassid could ever do such a thing. Read the frum websites and you will see ads taken out to defend wrong doers.

Other Stuff Chassidim dont like:

Black people

Non-observant Jews

Bike lanes


Vegetables other than potatoes

Non-heimishe brands

Working on the books

Stuff Chassidim arent sure if they like:

Niturei Karta

Tuna Beigels

Supporting Rubashkin

{ 110 comments… add one }
  • ishchayill April 17, 2010, 8:55 PM

    One more thing chasidim like: Honda Odyssey. Drive along an average block in Boro Park, and you’ll notice half the cars are Honda Odysseys.

    P.S. It’s “Dina de-Malchusa”

  • Michal April 17, 2010, 9:33 PM

    I guess you have more to do with the other groups, those posts were better, and more accurate.

    • AH April 17, 2010, 10:22 PM

      I second that!
      I see some very nice cars in Borough Park (Audi Q7s seem quite popular) so the bungee cord bit is outdated.
      The litter-bittul Torah connection seems way off; I have never noticed Chassidim to be too concerned with that.
      Both men and women button their shirts to the top. Some men even wear “women’s” shirts… (Although many men dress more casually as well, polo shirts are not that uncommon.)

      Regarding heimishe: It means homestyle. My favorite is “heimishe hashgachos” (which you touch on). Many Chassidim (and Yeshivish people) don’t really like the big national hashgachos, they prefer the heimishe ones.
      Me personally, I like the professional ones. Homestyle sounds like they don’t know what they’re doing!

      • Zvi Lampert April 18, 2010, 1:10 AM

        Heimish doesn’t always mean poor quality. Chasidim make terrible sushi, But nobody makes better chicken soup.

      • Toronto Yid April 18, 2010, 10:43 PM

        They wear “women’s” shirts because men’s shirts have the left side go on top of the right side (with the buttons) while women’s shirts are the opposite. It’s some sort of a Kabbalah thing to not wear left over right (sitra achra).

  • Zvi H April 17, 2010, 9:41 PM


  • JD April 17, 2010, 10:05 PM

    I think you are forgetting one more thing Chaasidim like…Fun!!!!
    -see the link below

  • Yochanan April 17, 2010, 10:24 PM

    I think it’s more of 16th and 17th century Poland.

    • Heshy Fried April 18, 2010, 12:15 AM

      Considering the fact that the Baal Shem tov died in 1760 – it couldn’t have been that early.

      • Yochanan April 19, 2010, 3:45 PM

        But the dates I mentioned is when Jews had connections with Polish royalty.

  • chevramaidel April 17, 2010, 10:36 PM

    You’re right on when it comes to mikvah. With all those kids, do you think they get a chance to shower at home?

  • chevramaidel April 17, 2010, 10:42 PM

    I’m sure the men don’t wear women’s shirts. They (some of them) have shirts made so they button right (chesed) over left (gevurah).

    • AH April 19, 2010, 2:00 AM

      “Women’s” was in quotes for a reason… 🙂

  • A. Nuran April 17, 2010, 11:09 PM

    They seem to like pedophiles. Or at least they like to defend their own pedophiles.

  • Howard April 17, 2010, 11:44 PM

    I think they must not be sure if they like Lipa, given that he has been banned.

  • a April 17, 2010, 11:49 PM

    You forgot to mention Kugel Erev Shabbos in the Mikveh and Tishen and the mikvah news roundup as well as bussing around to where ever the rebbe goes for the tish if you are ger then going sholosh regolim to yerushalyim then you can also add about the bovev politics as well as satmar it can get really nasty like right now they are blockign some developer from builing in willamsberg b/c he support zalman or ahron dont remeber which one if you live in ny then it includes gettings jobs at b&h also even though satmer is anti zioinist they are asking and are getting the israeli govemnent to help them out for the japan bochurim that are locked up also rugalach is baisics like baigels for the rest of world jewry also getting summer bunglow colonies sponsored by the goverment they are the only ones who were able to pull that off as well as the only fully paid for by govemt funded school in monroe thats it i can rememeber for now i love these artilces keep them coming thank you

  • Heshy Fried April 18, 2010, 12:17 AM

    Of course I “forget” things – I am not chassidish, so it can’t be that accurate. Then again, I am not trying to put everything in – if I were to make these articles fully accurate it would take up hundreds of pages – they are merely blog posts – excerpts, meant to mimic the original Stuff White People Like – and they are quite fun to write.

  • meow April 18, 2010, 12:17 AM

    Things they love….

    A hole in the sheet 😉

  • Anonymous April 18, 2010, 12:28 AM

    F – food stamps
    R – rent subsidies
    U – unemployment
    M – medicaid

    • Heshy Fried April 18, 2010, 1:42 AM


    • aml April 18, 2010, 10:17 AM

      love it

      • Anonymous April 18, 2010, 10:25 AM

        I know funny acronyms too: aml = acute myeloid leukemia

        • aml April 18, 2010, 7:12 PM

          shut it. and stop repeating urself.

      • anonymous April 18, 2010, 10:28 AM

        I like funny acronyms too: aml = acute myeloid leukemia

    • Anonymous April 18, 2010, 12:21 PM

      That’s disgusting. Almost as bad as saying that all Chassidim smell.

    • Anonymous April 19, 2010, 11:57 AM

      And I thought it was Mofes:

      Food stamps
      Section 8

  • Sergey Kadinsky April 18, 2010, 12:52 AM

    They also like private bus companies, that link the various hasidic neighborhoods like the lines on a constellation.

    • Zvi Lampert April 18, 2010, 1:13 AM

      What about the fake turbans the women wear? Or the bulletproof 1940’s style stockings with the seams in back?

  • Zvi Lampert April 18, 2010, 1:20 AM

    About the B.O. thing, I have found it to be much worse among the Litvish Yeshivish. They don’t call ’em greaseballs for nothing.

  • gg April 18, 2010, 1:27 AM

    I find the comments about smell disturbingly bigoted and reminiscent, in the worst way, of other kinds of racism in the US. I can’t speak about chassidish men but chassidish women smell very nice.

    • Heshy Fried April 18, 2010, 1:43 AM

      so are chassidim a race now?

      • gg April 19, 2010, 10:25 AM

        No. Chassidim are not a race.
        But noticing funny and quirky things about folks is not the same as saying that an entire group stinks. When you make a claim that an entire group smells bad, even in jest, it’s disturbing. If a person of colour said that about all people of colour it would be a racist statement. I was in a comedy club when that happened and it caused a riot. And if a Jew says that about all chassidim, while it might not be a “racist” comment, it still smacks of the kind of racism that got a hell of a lot of us killed not so long ago. Let’s keep funny funny without being offensive.

  • Nate April 18, 2010, 6:33 AM

    The dress doesn’t come from the Polish nobility, that’s just a bubameisa that the Reformers made up to make the Chassidim look ridiculous, it’s a combination of dignified dress with malchut and tziut as well. If it was only because of the nobility, then it would have been assur due to chukas hagoyim.

    • ghottistyx April 18, 2010, 8:45 AM

      Have you ever seen pictures of the way nobility in Eastern Europe dressed back in the day? So they don’t have the look down to a T, but in essence it’s the same. The Streiml in particular was worn by them. A nice simple google search and you can find some pictures of this. Of course, the Streiml is very practical in countries like Poland and Ukraine where the winters are long and freezing; but in a Boro Park summer is another story.

      • Anonymous April 18, 2010, 8:38 PM

        If by Polish nobility, you are referring to the Szlachta, then go look at pictures of them. They dressed nothing like Chassids.

    • Yochanan April 19, 2010, 3:48 PM

      So fur hats and long black coats are appropriate clothes for the Middle East / Mediterranean Coast?

  • Frumy April 18, 2010, 10:08 AM

    In Hitlers gas chambers we were one and the same. He did not care how frum or assimilated we were. Now in Obamas world all Jews are hated equally as well. Reformed, Zionists, and Chassidim alike.

    • aml April 18, 2010, 10:18 AM

      what? r u serious?

    • emily April 18, 2010, 12:13 PM

      is a “reformed” jew like a jew who used to be frum who realizes the err of his/her ways and goes to secularism?

    • emily April 18, 2010, 5:53 PM

      as an afterthought, perhaps heshy should write a post entitled “things hitler likes.” that way, those of us lacking a sense of humor won’t be offended. hmm….

      • Kim April 18, 2010, 6:19 PM

        hitler was so narrow minded, that would be a short list.

      • Frumy April 18, 2010, 8:35 PM

        I was not offended by the post.
        Just sharing what my bubby used to tell us whenever we spoke negatively about other people.
        I get the humor of this blog I like it that is why I keep coming back.

        • Schmendrick April 18, 2010, 10:03 PM

          Your bubby used to tell you about Obama? OY! what a prophetess! And if she was against speaking negatively about other people, do you think she would be happy about your lumping all the Jewish supporters of the present administration with those who hate Jews?

          • frumy April 19, 2010, 12:35 PM

            Oh please!
            1) my bubby spoke about Hitler about and her experience what they went through and how every Jew suffered even if they were not practicing Jews If they came from Jews 3 up to generations
            2) You misunderstood me I am not saying supporters of the administration are haters. The fact is that this administration is leaning in support for the Arabs which makes us all Jews much more vulnerable, the outside world look at us Jews as one no matter who we are they hate us equally.
            My point is that we need to stick together rather than looking at each other as republicans democrats, chassidish, litvish, sfardish, we should look at each other as Jews

  • John April 18, 2010, 10:36 AM

    points for effort though I suggest sticking to groups youre more familiar with. These were way too easy, and very superficial
    (and even contradictory: “Women are into pink ” … ” color isnt an option. That being the case, everyone dresses in black, white and gray. The women are allowed dark navy blue and dark green as well.” ?)

  • Patrick Aleph April 18, 2010, 11:17 AM

    The same rule about Right Wing Religious Folks who love Welfare applies equally in the evangelical Christian world as it does the Chassidic world. There’s a strong group of Christian evangelicals who live on welfare while supporting Republicans because they believe that the government is an agent of Satan and they should “bleed the beast”. So they have a billion kids to repopulate the Earth and get on food stamps and WIC subsidies. It’s the most common among fundamentalist non-LDS mormons and this group of crazy folks in South Carolina.

  • yaakov April 18, 2010, 11:31 AM

    Very funny as usual. A+

  • Choosid shoite April 18, 2010, 1:33 PM

    in voos veist di veigen chasidim?

  • Kim April 18, 2010, 2:50 PM

    Chassidim have such cute little kids.

    • John April 18, 2010, 2:56 PM

      A Rebbi of mine used to say: chasidsh kids are so cute you could just eat them, then when they grow up you wish you did

      • Kim April 18, 2010, 3:14 PM

        LOL it seems like that is how all little children are.

      • Schmendrick April 18, 2010, 10:12 PM

        “had”, not “did”

        • A Nony Mouse April 18, 2010, 11:55 PM

          watchout everyone, it’s a grammar nazi!!!

          I love Chassidic kids too, but they are much too precious to eat. 😉

          • Schmendrick April 18, 2010, 11:59 PM

            you might want to find a word other than “nazi” to describe me. How about “maven”, or simply “correct”?

            • Anonymous April 19, 2010, 12:03 AM

              ok sorry. no more nazis.

              • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 12:13 AM

                thank you.

            • anon April 19, 2010, 6:34 AM

              Id go with douchebag, besides I doubt his rebbi spoke proper grammer

              • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 9:41 AM

                How intelligent, and how brave! How about telling us your name and address, since you have such a nice way of phrasing things, I’ll be happy to meet you face to face and pay my respects. I’ll even bring some soap so you can wash that yellow streak off your back….

                • Bob April 19, 2010, 10:48 AM

                  Don’t be sad that your less intelligent and have to rely on your peeing abilities. Together i’m sure we’d make a great crime-fighting duo.
                  My name is Bob holmes I live at 221B Baker Street London, England. I’m Looking forward to meeting you, you seem like a swell fellow.

                  • Bob April 19, 2010, 10:50 AM

                    I’m the above anon. I’ve been encouraged to come out of hiding and it case it isnt obvius the first “your” should be “you’re”

                    • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 11:24 AM

                      it case it isn’t obvius, it’s time to move on. I just wonder why you thought it necessary to call me a douchebag, but you’ve given me enough evidence of your intellect for me to realize an apology is as likely as your giving me an accurate address. But that’s ok, just tell your parents to let me know when your kindergarten graduation is, and I’ll send flowers by way of Dr. Watson.

                    • Sherlock April 19, 2010, 11:55 AM

                      Oh no has little Bob been rude again. I’m so sorry he hurt your feelings I’ll sit him down for a nice talkin too. He has the habit of calling out on douchebags such as blue-tooth wearers, grammer-correcters, etc …you know the type. I try to tell him although it may be the case its still not nice. I apolagise on his behalf.
                      He is actually graduating kindergarten in 2 months, I cant believe how fast they grow up. So nice of you to offer to send flowers.
                      All the best!

      • DrumIntellect April 19, 2010, 5:44 PM

        I’ve heard this line about many groups, including Israeli, German, and Bobov children.

  • Gefilte Fish April 18, 2010, 4:50 PM

    Well, I’m chassidish and will go non Heimish whenever possible, meaning vacations, restaurants etc.

    Do not support the riots
    Wear all types of shirts, all colors, styles and fabrics.
    No cords on my car, the only cords you’ll see around my car belong to my guitar.
    I am a neat freak.
    Am not in real estate.
    Go to mikva at most once a week.
    Same goes for cholent…
    Same for hitchhiking, but I am on the giving end, and take plenty non hassidim.
    Work on the books and not eligible for uncle Sam’s freebies.
    I’ve been on the recieving end of staring from many non hassidic and non jews.
    HATE chumrahs.
    Non different to Lipa.
    Hate the Catskills.
    Have no idea how Rye bread tastes like.
    Not me, nor wife shave our heads,
    Don’t work in diamonds.
    Very far from being tznius patrol.
    Never Gambled in my life.

    Im a partial Zionist.
    Love colors.
    Wear deodorant.
    LOVE women…
    Speak rather fluent english.
    Admitting Wrong Doing? well… I’m a man.

    Have a handful of black friends.
    Same for non observant jews.
    Go biking from time to time.
    Exercise daily.
    Love my veggies.
    Work fully on the books.

    Hate Neturie Karta.

    What kind of chusid does that make me???

    • William of Ockham April 18, 2010, 6:29 PM

      What kind of chusid does that make me???

      Newsflash: You are not chassidish!

      • Gefilte Fish April 18, 2010, 7:41 PM

        You wouldn’t say that if you saw me.

    • Yochanan April 19, 2010, 3:59 PM

      You definitely are a Chasid. Just not Chasidishe.

  • ycg April 18, 2010, 8:09 PM

    Gefilte Fish you sound Lubavitch. Please don’t feel left out that this article didn’t apply to you even if you’re technically chassidishe.

    If I saw you bike riding recklessly (since you are checking out hotties) with your black friend, wearing your multi colored silk shirt (which is tucked in because you are a neat freak), full head of hair blowing in the wind (oh you probably wear a helmet–another proof you’re not chassidishe)….gimme a break, how would any of us associate you with chassidishe? From your self description you sound awesome…but methinks a Dr Seuss character would fit into Williamsburg quicker than you

    • Gefilte Fish April 18, 2010, 10:34 PM

      Sorry, not lubavitch.

      You forgot to mention that I’ll be going to the mikva at the same time while wearing my silk shirt on my bike…

      I look just like any yungerman in BP on your regular day, and you would identify me on my bike with my payos flowing in the wind.

      • ycg April 18, 2010, 11:14 PM

        LOL hamayvin yavin that you were indeed riding your bike to the mikva.

        In any event, you must be some sort of heimishe crimefighter (no not shomrim). Yungerman by day, perhaps vigilante superhero by night?

        On another note. Perhaps this blog could compare contrast BP chassidm to Williamsburg chassidm? I think they should have an olympiada.

    • spidey April 19, 2010, 1:25 PM

      -From your self description you sound awesomebut methinks a Dr Seuss character would fit into Williamsburg quicker than you


  • Wilson Farms April 18, 2010, 8:25 PM

    Hesh, Your next one has to be “Stuff TIUNY guys like”

  • Anonymous April 18, 2010, 10:08 PM

    Excellent series of humorous observations – As the ultimate concluding post, why not do “what people like” – common ground all these groups have…

    • Heshy Fried April 19, 2010, 4:39 PM

      That’s a good one – but haven’t you heard the saying 2 Jews 3 opinions.

  • Schmendrick April 18, 2010, 10:09 PM

    Some more things that Chasidim like:

    To ask anyone who davens with them erev shabbat whether they have a place to eat, without the agenda of trying to get them to learn Tanya;

    To fight over who will have the kvod of having the guest join them for Shabbat lunch;

    and one thing that Chasidim don’t like:

    Lashon Hara.

    Have any of you spoken to your rabbis about what you’re posting here?

  • frumyid April 18, 2010, 10:50 PM

    sorry, Heshy, I hit the wrong button. you can change the nickname to Shmendrick and I’ll try to keep from making that mistake again

  • YY April 18, 2010, 11:24 PM

    Not an expert, but I think it’s pretty clear most chassidim disapprove of Neturei Karta. In Israel at least, most vote for right-wing parties, not only Union for Torah Judaism but also Likud and National Union. These parties, with the occasional exception of Likud are generally against giving away one inch of Eretz Israel. Neturei Karta supports everything anti-Israel, and shows up at radical Palestinian rallies and such. Even if they’re against the idea that the state of Israel has special religious significance, I think most chassidim are pretty right-wing in Israeli policies. The outreach Breslov rabbi Lazer Brody is one example. The Lubavitcher Rebbe had well thought-out views that included opposition to any land for peace deals (interestingly, based on a passage in the Talmud about holding onto a fort outside the borders of Eretz Israel for security purposes).

    • John April 18, 2010, 11:32 PM

      Not only that but Chasidim in Israel have a political party, Agudat Yisroel which is comprised of Belz, Sadigur, Gur, Viznitz among other smaller sects.

    • whoisit April 19, 2010, 8:38 AM

      R’ Leizer Brody and Lubavitchers are not part of the chassidish Israeli culture. Their learnings may be based on the same mesorah, rooted in the Baal Shem Tov, but seriously different societal affiliations. Belz, Bobov, Vizhnitz, Sadigur, you name it…those dudes don’t mix with Breslov or Chabad.

  • the new face of frumkeit April 18, 2010, 11:56 PM

    Agudas Yisroel and Degel HaTorah have not always agreed with each other about policy matters; however, over the years the two parties have co-operated and united as a voting bloc in order to win the maximum amount of seats in the Knesset since many extra votes can be wasted if certain thresholds are not attained under Israel’s proportional representation parliamentary system. The two parties chose to function and be listed under the name of United Torah Judaism (Yahadut HaTorah).
    When both parties joined the government coalition of Prime Minister Ariel Sharon in 2004 the UTJ union was broken due to rivalries.

    • John April 19, 2010, 6:31 AM

      A pound of tea in China goes for about 10 yuan

      • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 7:54 AM

        depends on the tea. 10 yuan is only like $1.50, and some tea can be a hundred times that expensive a pound.

        • John April 19, 2010, 11:50 AM

          regular tea

          • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 1:07 PM

            Define “regular”. Black Tea? Green Tea? Pu-erh Tea? Oolong? When I was in China last autumn, I spent a good amount of time in a tea house in Beijing, and there were teas there that cost 600 yuan an ounce!

            And while you’re at it, why are we talking about tea in the first place?

            • John April 19, 2010, 1:12 PM

              It started as a way to tell “the new face of frumkeit” that his comment was irrelevant. Then you decided to raise the douchiness a bit (not the first time youve done that on this page I might add) But who am I to judge.

              • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 1:19 PM

                geez, how nice you guys are. Is it maybe your acne that makes you all so intolerant? Or is it just the safety of your anonymity that lets you make comments you would never dare make face to face with someone.

                I’ll tell you what. I challenge you to show this thread to your rabbi and see if he approves of your attitude. Or as an alternative, why don’t you and your friend Bob/Sherlock just convert so those of us who understand what lashon hara is and are trying our best to raise goyische opinion of us don’t have to apologize for you any more?
                Really chum, one of these days you’re going to make the mistake of talking trash to someone face to face and your daddy’s gonna have to spring for a new set of teeth for you. Of course, given what you’ve written, you may still have your baby teeth….

                • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 1:23 PM

                  oh and by the way, Lipton Tea goes for about 50 yuan a pound in Beijing.

                  • Anonymous April 19, 2010, 1:25 PM

                    Ah but not when you buy it on saleon ichiro suzoki street

                    • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 1:32 PM

                      That’s Japanese, not Chinese.

                    • John April 19, 2010, 1:35 PM

                      You say potato i say…
                      and besides, they named a street in his honor. You dont know it?

              • John April 19, 2010, 1:24 PM

                Which comment of yours had anything to do with lashan harah? was it the grammar correction above, or your comment about expensive chinese tea?
                BTW John is as anonymous a name as shmendrick, so grow a pair before you deride other’s anonymity

                • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 1:34 PM

                  The lashon hara, pal, was yours and your friend Bob’s. I don’t know what planet you’re from, but here if you call someone a douchebag or his comments “douchiness”, that’s an insult.

                  As for anonymity, I didn’t start the name calling. And if you want to arrange a face to face meeting, name the time and place. How about at your rabbi’s house, so we can get his take on your behaviour? I’m ready any time you are.

                  • John April 19, 2010, 1:39 PM

                    My Rabbi doesnt condone violence. and on the planet I’m from lashan harah doesnt mean name calling or insulting ( its gossip). I did not write one word of lashan harah on this blog (I did however tell a few friends about the douche-bag shmendrik, but thanks to your anonymity, thats not lashan harah either.)

                    • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 1:52 PM

                      wrong again. Lashon hara is any communication that belittles another person. It is part of the “baseless hatred” that killed the students of Rabbi Akiva. And while you would have been right about your comments to your friends not being lashon hara when you spoke to them, by telling me and publishing it here where, anonymous as my name might be, my persona is known, you have indeed made it lashon hara.
                      And where did you get the idea that there would be violence involved if we met in front of your rabbi? That’s just an excuse. You were the one who suggested that I “grow a pair”, although I don’t know what I’d do with 4, unless you want me to donate them to an organ bank so you can have them grafted on you. But that’s another matter. As I said, any time you want to meet face to face in your rabbi’s presence and see which of us has the better understanding of lashon hara, I’m there. Just don’t think you’ll ever get away with trash talk like this face to face with anyone, let alone the better educated.

                    • John April 19, 2010, 1:58 PM

                      Im torn as to your education level. on the one hand you are making up definitions of lashan harah, and on the other hand, you may have pioneered the first testicle transplant. Anyone who knows your persona here (Incidently i doubt theres lashan hara on a persona) already knows youre a douche.

                    • Schmendrick April 19, 2010, 2:10 PM

                      and you’re a coward. I’ll take douche over coward any day.

  • Rizzo April 19, 2010, 9:12 AM

    Don’t forget beuatiful choirs and singing. Seriously i you’ve never heard what chassidim sound like singing a lovely melody all togther its really quite beuatiful. This is not meant to be a joke, really very pretty.

    • Heshy Fried April 19, 2010, 4:40 PM

      And those guys in Belz with the Violins

      • Rizzo April 19, 2010, 4:49 PM

        I never saw them, aere they at the Bellzer Beis Medrash in Jeru or in Monsey?

  • HJX April 19, 2010, 2:22 PM

    >Women: If not for secks, babies and cooking I bet you they would ban women.

    How are the rest of us any different?

    Because we only care for two out of the three 🙂

  • Michele April 20, 2010, 5:24 PM

    Heshy, with regards to supporting Jews who are imprisoned or prosecuted–whether the Jew was justified or unjustified–the reason frum jews make such a big deal is because the halacha of saving jews from captivity is a huge mitzva and is on the level of saving a life which one could break shabbat for. These chassidim that protect their child molestors will also try to free jonathan pollard who isn’t chassidish in the slightest. But otherwise, great read!

    • Yochanan April 21, 2010, 12:36 PM

      Most of those who support freeing Pollard believe that pedos should rot in jail.

  • anonymous April 21, 2010, 4:59 PM

    home depot

    • Anonymous April 23, 2010, 1:39 AM


  • Menachem Mendel Shmiel April 23, 2010, 8:39 AM

    Chasidim like shenaningans.

  • anonymous April 23, 2010, 10:13 PM

    Coming from a “non-frummy” Jew who has had to visit his frum family in Boro Park, every single thing in this list is oh so true, ESPECIALLY THE PART ABOUT THE STARING!!!! YES, IM NOT FRUM! LIVE WITH IT!

  • ruchie May 31, 2010, 1:49 PM

    they love woodbury common for some reason

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