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Let Pesach madness begin

32 comments

One of the reasons I love Pesach so much, besides for the hours of repeated divrei torah, constipation and uncle moishy carnivals are the absurd items that seem to come out every year. From kosher paper towels to kosher toilet bowls, it seems that there is no limit to the insanity that the frummer than everyone else crowd can think up. Pesach is the best time to show off how frum you are or how little you know of halacha, you can choose your own adventure. Thanks to Chaim for sending this item he found in Baltimore – because chas v’shalom those little baggies you use for bedikas chometz break and spill the pieces of bread all over the house and force you to clean again.

If you find any crazy Passover items you think should be featured here I would like this week to be focused on the good, the bad and the ugly of the impending holiday. Email pictures or stories to me at frumsatire@gmail.com

  • tesyaa

    Does my spouse count (as a crazy Passover item)???

    • A. Nuran

      Depends. Is it kosher for a wife to eat something that rises during Passover?

      • NewYorker

        your wife still gives you oral? lucky lucky you’re no shmucky

  • Dave

    Only grass-fed beef for Pesach! Grain fed beef is chometzdik!

    ((Good luck finding Kosher Grass Fed Beef in America))

    • http://hannahbanana.pnn.com/13235-the-front-page HannahBanana

      KOL – Organic, grass fed, kosher meat. I LOVE them. We’re about to stock up, and you can visit the farm and see how the animals are raised. The website is here: https://www.kolfoods.com/shopcontent.asp?type=press

      There are more and more resources every year!

    • A. Nuran

      Fun biology fact. Kosher animals get almost no nutrition from the food they eat. That whole “chew the cud” business means they are basically big fermentation vats. The bacteria eat the food. The cows and sheep eat the bacteria.

    • Anonymous
  • Yochanan

    Off topic, but my mother is starting chemo within a month.

    Her name is Chava bat Edith (Sorry I don’t know what my Grandma’s Hebrew name was, so I’m using her English one.)

  • http://righteousrasha.blogspot.com Tova

    Let it begin? Um, I don’t know about you but we started getting ready some weeks ago…

    Weirdest Passover product: Kosher L’Pesach napkins and paper towels.

    • Anonymous

      That isnĀ“t really that weird. Many paper towels and napkins contain constarch, which is why the Rabbi in my community gave an “ok” to certain brands, and said that all other brands are ok for sefaradim who eat Kitnios.

  • Phil

    The passover guide’s kosher for pessach list put out by the local rabbinate. Bans most soaps and deodorants, still haven’t been able to get a straight answer as to those items being edible by dogs.

    • http://hatthief.blogspot.com Meir

      Why do you feed your dog deodorant?

      (I would guess your dog can eat kitniyot but not chametz [or it could maybe eat chametz if it went out and found it on its own], so dog food with rice is okay, but not with barley)

      • Phil

        If a dog won’t eat something that contains chametz, that item can’t be considered chametz according to halacha. Then you have Rabbi’s that want to be machmir, and go up and above pure halacha, so you get things like kosher for pessach toilet paper and shampoo.

        Kitniyot on the other hand, it totally permissible to own, benefit from and feed to your animals. Many toothpastes contain kitniyot derivatives, and are permissible to use on pessach, they just tell you not to swallow (I know where that’s going to lead…). Again, machmir people use only passover toothpaste, should be available at fine Judaica shops everywhere.

        • “Rabbi No”

          I love eating rice on Passover, makes all you Ashkenazim salivate…

          • NewYorker

            you “love eating rice”? is your life so dull that one of the highpoints is looking forward to eating rice on pesach? GET A HOBBY.

        • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

          Dude gasoline contains kitnyot – we would all be screwed

          • Phil

            Hesh,

            Gasoline probably contains chametz, at least in the Northern states where they mix in alcohol to prevent freeze up. Time to put a match to the gas tank, talk about libun gamur.

            • Seriously

              Alcohol chametz

              • Seriously

                I said “not equals” but that didn’t work.

          • http://alarbean.wordpress.com/ DrumIntellect

            I think two years ago there was a rabbi who said smoking cigarettes is a problem because it contains chometz.

  • http://shtetlvision.blogspot.com feivelbenmishael

    Maybe your local rabbinate is more machmir…?

  • non believer

    the original goal of Judaism was to serve Hashem. Some people still strive for this, while others strive to “be frum”. I think that “being frum” for its own sake has resulted from a lack of education – especially halacha education. Guys learn gemora and gals learn nach and only the poskim learn halacha. The poskim then gain stature as “univerally held of” or “authoritative” or, what they all secretly pine for, “gadol” – by finding new ways to be overly strict.

    Sometimes it gets to a point of violating the torah commandment not to add anything to the torah itself.

  • musicluver

    I don’t think those “crumbs” are meant to be chumra. It’s for the lazy ones who can’t find time to put out their own bread! I even hear that you can buy salt water!

  • Baltimore anon

    Yay Shabsi’s (place the pic was taken)! Best Judaica (and sales) in town!

  • AMR

    From Machon Shilo on Kitniyot
    sorry it is off topic since it is talking about sanity and permissiveness
    http://machonshilo.org/en/eng/list-ask-the-rav/56-pesah/279-ashkenazi-custom-concerning-kitniyot
    http://machonshilo.org/en/eng/list-audio-shiurim/35-hagim/278-the-prohibition-against-qitniyoth-on-pesah-anatomy-of-an-error
    the second link provides a link to a downloadable shiur

  • Hubscubs
  • HXJ

    I saw this item advertised in a newspaper this past week. They have a whole line of these products, from “candle extinguishers” (a la “he who extinguishes a candle with his breath, his blood is on his head”) to floating wick extractors. I think the pre-packaged bread is new for 2010. Each item deserves a post of its own

  • raquelle

    I heard in a shiur on the UWS last week that Rav Schater took various toothpastes to a lab and experimented with various dogs, none ate the stuff. Let’s all get brains and stop the kosher pesach mafia, be sensible, ask your Rav. Also it would be much healthier to eat simpler foods not processed fake kosher for pasach food, so if you want chicken soup buy a pot,a kosher chicken some veg,some herbs, boil, wait, eat. I cook with only fresh food, all kosher meats etc and don’t buy the fake frummy chumra stuff, easier and healthier, give it a try, good luck.

  • Dan

    The story as i heard was people asked the Rav (solovechik) about his dog that ate toothpaste. The rav responded that halacha was not made for a stupid dog

  • rebbetzin hockstein

    stupid dog? my dog is NOT stupid, he is a human being with fur! He is smart enough to know not to eat the toothpaste or drink the Kool-Aid…..

    • NewYorker

      you’re right, your dog is not stupid. he is brain dead, which is a bit above your intelligence.

  • yeshiva guy

    i’m a bachur in israel cleaning houses for a few bucks. I have had my share of crazy stories including one guy giving me hydrochloric acid to clean with. I dont care i get more work bec of peoples crazy chumras.
    on a side note my dog (yes i had a dog here for a few months) used to lick up the used sponga water. seems to show that spongaing is not enough.

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