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shul bathroom tissue sucks

What the heck is the deal with shul bathroom tissue?

Note my usage of term bathroom tissue, with regards to shul toilet paper in rusting dispensers it is one of the only times where one may use the ever so popular politically correct made for TV term of bathroom tissue because I have no idea what else to call it. It is definitely not toilet paper, and most definitely not tissues therefore I have decided it be called bathroom tissue.

I think shul bathroom tissue poses several problems for shabbos, the rough texture can cause bleeding and is awfully scratchy (isnt scratching assur on shabbos because it makes lines?) They also bring baal tashchis to the table since it takes twice as many of them to wipe as it does regular tissues or toilet paper. It makes the shul bathroom experience more unpleasant than it already is.

What ever happened to plain old tissue, you know the kind of tissues that yeshiva has, sure its of a rough and tumble generic variety but at least they work.

How long must we suffer at the hands of shul boards as they allocate much needed toilet paper dollars towards useless things like rubber door jambs and those seat cushions for the old men that come to shul twice a year?

{ 32 comments… add one }
  • Bored Jewish Guy March 7, 2010, 12:49 PM

    Shul bathrooms in general are designed to make you uncomfortable should you ever need to actually “use” them. Those little pieces of paper are completely useless, if I absolutely have to use the bathroom there, I take a big stack of tissues from the box in the Shul. I may get some funny looks but at least I can walk home afterwards.

    • Heshy Fried March 7, 2010, 8:50 PM

      So I have noticed in recent times that tissues have become assur, people now cut their own toilet paper – but, how come in shul you can use tissues but in the toilet you can’t?

      • Bored Jewish Guy March 7, 2010, 8:53 PM

        I assumed it was that they were afraid the toilets would get stuffed or they were just being cheap. I know my father used to make us tear sheets of toilet paper before shabbos b/c he was paranoid of flushing tissues.

  • SkepticButJewish March 7, 2010, 2:15 PM

    I never use public bathrooms so it is not a problem for me. I do not really go to shul, sometimes I go on Friday nights, and Jewish holidays but it never been a problem for me in my life. I only use bathroom at home.

    • Frumsatire Fan March 7, 2010, 7:16 PM

      I only use bathroom at home.

      Ah so you’re shomer, like me.
      A guy in my shul sometimes uses the bathroom to wash in the sink and brush his teeth, that’s the worst it gets.

      • SkepticButJewish March 7, 2010, 11:10 PM

        What do you mean by “shomer”? It means “observant” but that does not apply to me so I am confused. I am a skeptic, so I deny all religion, but I do not want to distance myself from Jewish people. That is pretty much what I am.

      • piss master. March 11, 2010, 12:18 PM

        Check this out. When i’ve gotta pee i piss in the sink. (in single toilet bathroom) unless there’s a urinal. I do the same at home, believe it or not. Hey, i figure it all winds up in the same pipe, my shlong is sink level and also conserve water by not having to flush the toilet. And yes, i wash my hands and sink gets flushed at the same time. It’s genius.

    • Bubba Metzia March 8, 2010, 1:45 PM

      Many people have stomach issues so avoiding public bathrooms isn’t always an option.

  • Ann Ann Nomis March 7, 2010, 8:24 PM

    One word: ASPEN

  • Tova March 7, 2010, 8:59 PM

    Wow, I’m laughing pretty hard! I thought I was the only one who pondered such things…

    It’s terrible. You can’t wipe your ass effectively with the shul ‘papers’, and when you try to take a few out of the cold metal dispenser an entire pile falls out onto the floor.

  • chevramaidel March 7, 2010, 9:58 PM

    We use Aspen at home. You know, the Jewish tissues. I was in a movie theater one time to see an independent film on some Jewish subject or other, and the camera picked up that familiar box with the mountains on it. Half the audience broke up laughing.
    Those shul tissues are worthless. And some places they don’t even bother putting them in the holder, just pile them up somewhere, and they all end up all over the floor.

  • who the hell takes a dump in shul anyways?? March 7, 2010, 10:27 PM

    Ew. “Ass-pen”.

  • CCMSM March 7, 2010, 10:46 PM

    The worst is when the little squares that shuls have get stuck in your butt and you have go stick you hand in there and try to find it and fish it out. Not pleasant.

  • sebastain13 March 7, 2010, 11:58 PM

    thanx 4 telling us how big your butt is

  • old fashioned modern ortho March 8, 2010, 12:33 AM

    I believe that 1 of the 39 malachot refers to the use of those little tissue squares being asur. You need about 20 of those squares to start. Why are the dispensers rusty ?

  • Halachgoy March 8, 2010, 5:52 AM

    What’s with the three seashells?

  • Bubba Metzia March 8, 2010, 1:46 PM

    It would be cool if shuls had toilet paper like this.


    • HannahBanana March 10, 2010, 4:38 PM

      Why does the guy in the vid have super hairy arms and a bright gold watch? Really people? Really?

  • Massage-directory January 28, 2015, 9:17 AM

    I never use public toilets.I try as much as possible to don’t use this kind of toilets,a lot of viruses you can take from there.

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