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Non-generic Jewish sects

Everyone knows the generic Jewish sects, modern orthodox, Chassidic, reform, conservative and so on. What many people dont know are the different sub groups or ways to call those people that venture a little from the generic categories.

Flamers: Usually referring to Baal Teshuvas that have become quite militant in their practices. Examples may include the girls that burn all of their untznius clothing and the guys that throw away all of their secular music and stop flushing the toilet on shabbos.

Flipped Out: This term is used to the process in which kids that spend the year after high school in a yeshiva in Israel whenthey become more frum than their parents. Those who flip out tend to lose all of their gains within 3 weeks of coming home, at which point they realize that they dont want to fully abstain until marriage.

OTD: Off the Derech (OTD) is the way to describe Jews that have left the fold; It is always used as a negative connotation, implying that there is a right derech.

Bent down: A term used by Chassidim to describe black hat wearing Jews who arent chassids by virtue of the fact that their hat brims bend down. Chassidic hats do not have bendable brims, aka bent up hats.

Yellow flaggers: Within Chabad, one of the ways to show you are a meshichist is to wave yellow flags with the word moshiach on them. These yellow flags are also worn as pins or purchased in banner or bumper sticker form.

Ben Niddah: I have heard the term used twice its really sick but some folks feel the need to call baalei teshuvas the sons of women who didnt go to the mikvah, and hence they were niddahs at the time of conception. Truly disgusting.

Hava Nagila Jews: A way to describe Jews whose only connection to Judaism is through the dance of hava nagila. These tend to be the types of Jews that feel the need to be drinking manishevetz wine in their you tube videos.

Whacky Zionists: Way to describe people who feel that wearing white knitted yarmulkes and speaking Hebrew in really thick American accents makes them Zionistic.

Frummies: Derogatory way to describe overzealous Orthodox Jews who feel the need to take on unnecessary stringencies.

Hockers: People who like to talk but never actually say anything. They are the types who always know someone who can help you, as long as you never actually take them up on that offer.

Tuna Beigels: Chassidim who are not chassids anymore (i.e. with the garb and/or practicing) but they still sound as though they are, to the extent that when they order a tuna bagel they say beigel in a thick Yiddish accent.

Heimishe: The all encompassing term used to describe black hat and Chassidic Jewish establishments and family types. Commonly used to describe something that is of lower quality and very religious. Examples include Hiemishe Steakhouses, heimishe dry cleaners and heimishe families.

Lubbies: Short for lubavitcher

Snags: The chabad slang for misnaged which literally means people opposed to Chassidim. I have only heard Snag used by chabadnicks or people close to chabad.

Hot Chanie: An Orthodox woman who only wears skirts, but insists on maintaining her sexiness through very short skirts, sexy wigs and tight shirts. The hot in the term is a misnomer; these women are not necessarily considered hot.

Sheitle Hookers: Women that wear sheitles, hooker boots and mini skirts.

Egal: Short and hip way to say egalitarian.

Flexidox: One day youre orthodox and the next day you get a bacon cheeseburger after going to shul.

Orthoprax: People that are orthodox in practice but not in belief, I bet you there are a lot more of these people within the orthodox community, but it seems they are all in the closet.

{ 47 comments… add one }
  • Katrina January 30, 2010, 10:30 PM

    Good post, Hesch. But I have never heard “Flexidox” before. Where did you hear it?

  • Patricia January 30, 2010, 11:40 PM

    Great post! I think I can finally describe myself! I probably fit the flexidox idea… Maybe not the bacon cheeseburger, but we all have our line in the sand. I think that for me it is an offshoot that began as being a BT for years, became disenchanted but still drawn to the community sliding into orthoprax that slid further off the derech to become flexidox! Oh how I love these labels!

  • Ilana January 31, 2010, 12:15 AM

    I guess I’m traditional egalitarian- though I grew up in a reform congregation, lots of singing, which I love, and none of that mumbly davening stuff… I’ve been going to a traditional egalitarian synagogue since I’ve moved to a new city and I like it generally… Everyone is required to cover their head (though it doesn’t *have* to be a kippah), which I like. These labels are kind of fun, even though none of them quite fit me.

  • shoeless January 31, 2010, 12:33 AM

    What ever happened to the people who said orthodox is the real way to serve G-d but I am not really up to doing all those hard things so i’m going to do whatever the hell I want and yes I will end up going to hell but at least I didn’t butcher the religion and fit it into whatever is convenient for me at the time. I think thats called flexidox.

  • yeshiva dude January 31, 2010, 1:31 AM

    heshy, you’re posts have been going down and down,
    and this os proof! these lables you “create” are only here
    to strengthen the oyvei yisrael, and secure you a certain
    fate in gehennom! it s sick to compare reform Judaism with
    a orthodox, l’havdil elef alfei havdolois. bring things back
    to the way they used to be, and use this post for good, and
    not for evil.

    • Off OJ January 31, 2010, 2:28 AM

      ill see you in gehennom bitch

    • Heshy Fried January 31, 2010, 3:47 AM

      No one is forcing you to read it, I love how someone writes that my blog has been going downhill on every post I write – I write what I want to, and what I feel like. Oh and I wish I had created these labels, but most of them were in common usae way before I was on the scene.

      Who said I’m comparing orthodox Jews to reform Jews – we are all Jews and I highly doubt that reform Jews are more likely to end up in hell then orthodox Jews – but that’s for another time.

    • ghottistyx January 31, 2010, 11:13 PM

      Yeah, and George Carlin “created” The 7 Dirty Words You Are Never Allowed to Use on Television and Radio!

      Sarcasm aside, he’s only commenting on the various subsets of Jews you meet around the veldt, NOT condoning or calling for further sin’at chinam. “Strengthening the Oyvim…” Next time you wonder why Moshiach hasn’t come yet, think about what you’re saying! It’s not due to the to’evot of the liberal sects, it’s because of the students of Rabbi Akiva, who schtark as they were still didn’t get along, and thus merited death.

  • E. Fink January 31, 2010, 1:38 AM

    You’re missing one…

    Harry.

  • Frum N' Flipping January 31, 2010, 2:34 AM

    Finally I learn the difference between a Hot Chani and a Sheitel Hooker. It’s the ‘very short skirt’ vs. the mini skirt. Thanks Hesh!

  • Chana January 31, 2010, 3:00 AM

    I don’t see the Na Nachs listed anywhere.

  • The Real Joe January 31, 2010, 10:51 AM

    will I don’t know if this is a sect but in Israel there’s something called an Arse or arsim its the = bum in America just they have a whole rutine

  • Yochanan January 31, 2010, 12:16 PM

    I think ‘ars, which comes from the Arabic for “pimp”, would be the Israeli Guido.

    Just put ??? into youtube.

  • Yochanan January 31, 2010, 12:17 PM

    sorry, Hebrew didn’t work out. Write ‘ayin, resh, shin.

    go to to mikledet.com for a Hebrew keyboard.

  • Yochanan January 31, 2010, 12:35 PM

    That should be samekh, not shin.

  • abandoning eden January 31, 2010, 12:43 PM

    Hey, we OTDers don’t consider it a derogatory term, we’ve reclaimed it for our own. 🙂 I like to think of it more as “off the standard OJ derech that other people tried to force on me”- so to me the term implies that I can think for myself and that I managed to get away from that.

  • shayagetzel January 31, 2010, 9:08 PM

    be honest,
    you heard the term ben nida from a lubavitcher. y/n?

  • Yochanan January 31, 2010, 9:14 PM

    What’s Harry?

    I was talking with a (still religious) ex-Chasid decided that life wasn’t for him when he was 14. He said it’s the ones who wait until they’re 18 who go completely off.

    • Yochanan February 1, 2010, 12:00 AM

      who decided that THAT life…

    • abandoning eden February 6, 2010, 7:41 AM

      well i started going OTD at age 14, and I still found my way all the way off

  • ghottistyx January 31, 2010, 11:16 PM

    ‘Arsim: tight fitting ribbed t-shirts, chains, teased-up hair, pelephone, siggarya, and back in the day it was the headband (which most of us Americans found totally gay…but they insisted it was the look!). The most important thing every ‘Arsi needs is protectzia.

    • Yochanan February 1, 2010, 12:02 AM

      You mean old-school athlete headbands?

      • ghottistyx February 1, 2010, 11:23 PM

        one and the same.

  • Michael Makovi February 3, 2010, 7:46 AM

    “Heimishe: … Commonly used to describe something that is of lower quality and …”

    ROFL

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