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You might be part of the shidduch crisis if

Someone wants to pay you to go out with older girls.

Girls are willing to fly to you so they can date you.

You volunteer for chesed projects just to meet girls.

You had a professional editor look at your frumster profile.

You know where every Starbucks in Brooklyn is.

The folks at various hotels think you’re a rich guy who gets a lot of chicks.

Whenever someone tells you about a girl you know to flip their descriptions to exact opposites of what they said.

You are yeshivish but willing to date an “earner”.

You have begun to venture out of your hashkafic realm.

You have started dating GU’s – Geographically undesirables.

You moved from Washington Heights to the Upper West Side.

You are willing to date girls that aren’t sure about covering their hair.

You want to start a website called “rate my shadchan” in response to the ridiculous matches that Saw You At Sinai sends you.

You have begun a blog to gripe about your situation.

The 40 year old virgin speaks to you.

You get angry when people say “im yirtza hashem by you”.

You like to brag how you are the last single girl in your class, and how that makes you “not your typical bais yaakov girl”.

You watch reruns of Sex and the City as therapy.

People don’t ask you anything about yourself besides your age.

You aren’t so frum anymore when it comes to coed events, everything becomes an opportunity to meet someone.

You get set up with the same people from different shadchanim and websites.

Whenever one of your friends says “Do you know…?” You usually do know or have dated and you always answer that it’s a bad idea.

You cringe whenever your relative suggests a sefer on how to find your zivug.

Going on dates resembles an office meeting for you, in that you shout things like, “Oh crap I have a date tomorrow at 7.”

If you live out of town there is no way out of shidduch marathons, sometimes you will stack 10 dates in a row over a weekend.

You go out with girls in airports during your stopovers (I know several people that do this).

You go on skype dates.

You aren’t the type, but you have a shidduch resume that you give out to people.

You begin to tell people how happy you are that you stayed single.

You like to point out all of the divorced people you know that should have waited longer.

You go out with people that aren’t shayich so people won’t call you picky.

You tell people you are busy to get out of dating.

You ask your friends for their facebook passwords so you can investigate the girls you were set up with on saw you at Sinai.

You just want to meet someone normal.

You have even considered joining Jdate.

{ 11 comments… add one }
  • chevramaidel January 28, 2010, 5:27 PM

    Me, part of the shidduch crisis? Without me there would be one more older guy without money on the market, no doubt looking for an 18-year-old whose parents would support him, like everybody else out there!

  • quicky divorced January 28, 2010, 6:41 PM

    And those of us who had “quickie marriages” that lasted one year? Are we also part of the shidduch problem? We tried to solve this crisis by getting married, we failed.

  • yakov January 29, 2010, 12:21 AM

    that didn’t solve anything did it?! well except maybe your sexual frustrations!! but great post hesh!

  • anonymous January 29, 2010, 10:13 AM

    You’re part of the shidduch crisis if…

    …You know the repertoire of episodes of Chabad’s Rebbe-vision played at Casbah because many a date has been spent looking at the Rebbe doing his signature wave instead of looking at your date.

    …You no longer get pissed off when you find out your mom has secretly been pimping you out to “nice-looking people” she randomly meets around town.

    …You check only simchas 4 times a day while eating a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Phish Food.

    …You can stroll through the Met blindfolded and still not trip over a single Renaissance artifact.

    …You are considering patenting an app displaying all the normal members of the opposite sex within a 50 mile radius.

    …You channel all your pent up sexual frustrations into food, having really deep, graphic, lustful conversations about offerings at kosher restaurants to sublimate your sinful, gashmiusdik urges.

    …You try to tell yourself you’re satisfied, and your whole community tells you you’re not. Aaaahhhh!!!!!!!

  • Bored Jewish Guy January 29, 2010, 11:23 AM

    “You go out with girls in airports during your stopovers (I know several people that do this).”

    This actually sounds like fun to me, let’s say you live in NY and the girl lives in LA so you meet at the airport in Omaha. I think I could have way more fun in an airport than at a starbucks or hotel lounge.

    • yakov January 29, 2010, 12:30 PM

      the case you’re describing implies that you are flying to omaha and back… and making her fly halfway! i dont think thats what he meant!

      • Bored Jewish Guy January 29, 2010, 5:06 PM

        I know that’a not exactly what he was talking about, it’s just the only situation where I could see myself dating in an airport. I’m not in favor of making the girl travel at all but from what I hear it is very common for LA girls to travel to NY b/c NY guys won’t go there for a date (personally I’d take any excuse I can get to go to LA but I’m not a NY guy). I think in that situation my idea would be a good compromise, I know it’s impractical but I think it would be fun.

  • The Real Joe January 31, 2010, 10:41 AM

    Just head over to the Carlbach Shul in Tzfas on an avg Motzi Shabbos its like 30% Chabad 15% Yeshivish 15% Chasidish 25% Carlbach style 5% Settler 5% Mizrachnik 5% Na nach with such a diverse crowed all packed into an area of less then 200 square ft I cant believe there’s a shiduch problem plus almost everybody speaks English

  • Darcy April 20, 2010, 12:49 AM

    Thank you!!! I thought I was the only one who had had trouble with ridiculous matches from SYAS. So glad to know it’s not just me.

    I actually complained to them that the shadchans were setting me up specifically with people I said I didn’t want to be set up with. One lady from the ‘main office’ called me and YELLED at me about how she and the other shadchans are professionals and clearly know what is suitable for me, more than I do, and I should be adjusting the kind of people I want to date to be the kind of people they are setting me up with! I was really surprised by that one!
    I’m so lucky there are trained professionals to tell me how wrong I am, and how foolish. All this time, I thought I knew what I wanted, my list honed from years of dating, but I just lacked proper guidance! Thank you SYAS for showing me the light!!!

  • AztecQueen2000 October 11, 2010, 1:33 PM

    I married a man in his 50s but I’m only in my 20s. Does that make me part of the problem or part of the solution?

  • Anonymous December 7, 2010, 3:50 PM

    O my gosh this is so sad like 10 of them are me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i thought i was the only one ! o how i hate dating !!!!!!!

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