The Chrsitians have just realized that hugging may be a little immodest, full frontal hugging that is. Someone just sent me this rap song called “Gimme Dat Christian Side Hug” (watch the video below) which makes me feel for the kids who had to be at the concert – it’s almost as painful to watch as the Miami Boys Choir, almost!
The Chrsitian Side Hug is exactly what it sounds like, instead of giving a full on hug like teenagers love to do, you give a side hug. The side hug will prevent, the two people hugging from touching crotches, the frummies would never think of such things beause if the two parties had already succumbed to their hugging taivas (desires) they are too far off the derech to come back.
According to Stuff Christians Like, there’s no “exact scripture reference” banning normal hugging. But the Side-Hug does significantly lower the “risk of two crotches touching,” which has got to be in the Bible somewhere. Here’s how you do it:
Instead of face to face, you go side to side, putting your arm around the person and your hip against their’s. Still having a hard time mastering it? Pretend you’re taking a photo and you’re both looking at the camera together. The side hug, or A frame as it is also called, is safe for the whole family, friendly and above all holy.
The critics don’t seem to like it much, and who can blame them.
The Washington City Paper writes:
“The Christian Side-Hug strikes me as almost skeezily chaste—I’d much rather have a brief normal embrace with a stranger than a hip-tap from a person who I know sexualizes even the most mundane forms of human contact. But the Side-Hug itself is slightly less offensive than the medium being used to promote it: An appropriated version of “rap music” performed by a bunch of white youth pastors who think that mixing in some gang-ish hand signals, tying on a bandana, and securing some fake bling will bring the youth to God.”
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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
more importantly than bypassing crotch contact, the side-squeeze avoids breast on chest action
Less chance of experiencing a whiff of bad breath…
Well, you know, we need to leave room for the holy spirit…lol
Omg….this reminds me of high school. I went to a really conservative (public) school where girls and guys weren’t supposed to hug or kiss on school grounds……
And I also went to public school (and a Catholic college!) where many of my guy friends used hugging as an excuse to get extraordinarily close to my breasts. Constantly, there was that “okay you’ve hugged me for too long” moment.
Curses! Foiled again!
Narishkeit.
Jude folly
you got that right oin the nose, as an ex christian that is exactly why the side hugs are done. Exactly…. this generally only goes for what is known as evangelical Christianity. see christianity is a lot worse then frum yiddishkeit in some ways because instead of separating the sexes they mingle them but still expect these kids to keep their “purity”. its totally lose lose. that is why all these christian camps and youth group events always have hookups going on and there is always a ton of teen age pregnencys/ and sexual activity.
I think the video is hilarious. I’m all for the no bad breath, Jameel. Side hugs are best for Mom.
FrumGer,
I don’t know what kind of Xtianity you were involved in but we had the six inches (between men and women at all times) rule where I was and there wouldn’t even be any rap, as it was the way of the world. Also, those girls are wearing tight jeans and that was not called for. I think this is Pentacostal. What you described also sounds like Pentecostal.
I was laughing so hard when I read this post!! I think you either have to be that type of Super-CHristian to understand, or havefriends like that. Just a teeny bit dorky, kinda like seeing a Jesus-love version of “whoops, there it is!”
I really didnt mean to offend anyone, sorry if I did.
Like the kids in the beginning movie “Saved!”. Seems like something they would have done.
Michaltastik,
I’m not Christian, but many of my friends are, and are just the type who would like this video. I do believe they are “Non-Denominational”.
hmmmmmmmm. I think I like it.
It’s likely that this is one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever seen.
This must be and evangelical thing. I know from experience that Lutherans love frontal hugging.
The Christian Side Hug rap was a total Joke and spoof….but it should have came with some sort of disclaimer. Since the end result was basically making Christianity and look stupid.
Read here:
http://doodiepants.com/2009/12/04/christian-side-hug-the-rap-video/
It’s the kind of hug that the “formerly gay” ministers use with other men..
It also allows easy access for a butt grab – the non-Jewish version of the cheek pinch