Yankees Win 2009 World Series

by Heshy Fried on November 5, 2009 · 9 comments

yankees win 2009 world seriesI don’t really care if they do or don’t, but the noise from across the street from my buddies house was keeping me up and I realized that a whole lot of you probably care or as Michael Moore likes to say, were convinced by the government to like sports so you don’t pay attention to politics. Moore thinks that sports is a government created program to keep your attention off of those in public office, I wonder if that’s why they put the world series right on election day?

In other news, I went to my first real comedy club show tonight and decided its time for me to suck it up and do comedy outside of the tribe, sounds good right? Well, I have always held back thinking I could make it on frum audiences alone and well, I realized non-Jews have more money, laugh harder and let me say the F curse and talk about intellectual things like being embarrassed as a Jew for picking up change.

Actually, I had my epiphany after leaving Stand Up NY and realizing that I could do better than half the comics who had been on “comedy central” or at least I think so, I started conjuring up all sorts of gigs in my head and am trying to be on next weeks “new comics” set list.

Oh yeh so the Yankees won right, does that mean their in the World Series? Wait is this the world series? Shoot, I have no idea what’s happening did the Yankees just win the 2009 world series? The two worst things that anyone can talk about in front of me are sports and pop culture. I haven’t had a TV since I moved out and don’t intend to ever actually own one (according to most shadchanim that means I’m really frum) It also means I have to explain why if I’m so frum and don’t want a TV, why I would go out to movies? Isn’t it better to watch movies at home but not out?

Come to think of it the whole watching movies vs. TV vs. maybe owning a monitor vs. maybe going out to movies is one big mind trip. What’s with all the maybes and “open to it” I mean you either watch movies or don’t. I can’t really afford movies so I don’t, but maybe I would if there was a dollar theater or a double feature drive in – wait are drive in’s tznius – its dark in there and it may be yichud, oh I would be married anyway, what if she was a niddah?

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

1 FrumCurious November 5, 2009 at 1:23 AM

Holy crap, Hesh, go for it! You’d be great.

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2 Anonymous November 5, 2009 at 1:47 AM

Why would you think that non-Jewish audiences would laugh at your jokes? All your jokes are what we call “inside baseball…”

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3 Heshy Fried November 5, 2009 at 4:00 AM

Wow do I have to spell it out for you that I don’t just do Jewish humor?

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4 s(b.) November 5, 2009 at 3:04 AM

Single guys thinking about T HaM cracks me up. Nice rant, though. Ricochet rabbit.

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5 s(b.) November 5, 2009 at 3:05 AM

I mean, unmarried guys.

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6 Batya November 5, 2009 at 3:20 AM

Some people did consider it an “Emergency!”

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7 netightman November 5, 2009 at 11:01 AM

Congratulation! New York Yankees!

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8 Frumsatire Fan November 5, 2009 at 11:52 AM

Ahh, so that’s what it was, that’s a relief! The noise from the street woke me up, and I wondered if it was a coup d’etat or some sort of raid. [Yes, I'm a) foreign, b) not into sports, and c) don't have a TV; that's why.]
Definitely, Hesh, go for it!

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9 Frum But Fun November 5, 2009 at 12:59 PM

Just a piece of advice here – don’t plan anything romantic or vacation getaways with your wife/girlfriend if she is in niddah. It would defeat the whole purpose.

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