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MO Rabbis say texting on shabbos is better than talking in shul

14 comments

texting in shulIn a shocking move, modern orthodox Rabonim have begun to consider allowing texting during shul on shabbos to curb talking. For years modern orthodox shuls have tried dozens of things to curb talking during shul to no avail. Some shuls have even provided legal contracts for shul members to sign stating that they will be thrown out if they talk during shul on shabbos. As is expected the Charedi rabbinate has signed these Rabbis off as amartzim who cannot control their own flocks due to their lack of tznius.

Proponents of the move say that talking has nearly ceased on the weekdays due to rampant text messaging during shul. It seems that people don’t even talk on the phone anymore, and just like to text instead, which means shuls remain quiet for those few older folks who actually come to pray and not just to please their wives or take part in accurately timed L’chaims due to siyumim and yertzeits.

Rabbi Josh Horowitz of the Hatikva Congregation of Central Jersey is reported to have found some sort of loophole based on some of the Ravs more controversial teachings. He said that text messaging isn’t actually writing, because its not permanent, but when asked about the issue of electricity he waved his hand and told us that modern orthodoxy was always a “bit iffy on the whole electricity thing” Rabbi Horowitz did warn about possible issues with carrying the phones since some communities don’t have eruvim and he made note about the hazards of doing hagba while texting, but he and dozens of other lay leaders think it’s a novel idea.

However, some congregants are skeptical. Ruthie S. told us that shul was the one place she could escape from everyday life to, and if text messaging were allowed in shul on shabbos, what could be next. “First its texting, than suddenly they have their i-Pods in their ears and suddenly they are driving to shul on shabbos, it’s all a slippery slope. Others doubt the validity of using electricity on shabbos and say that if this goes through they are pulling their kids out of coed schools and sending them to a single sex education. Still, it seems, that no one really cares.

  • Chanief

    LOL!

  • Aqiva

    Where did you read this?

    • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

      I saw it in a vision

  • jimmy37

    The am ha’aretz that I am sees no heter for texting considering this is active, direct use of electricity by your body by pressing the keys, whereas using a mike can be considered magic. Of course, the geeks can say that no extra transmissions are made with texting since the SMS size is designed to fit into a standard cell handshake packet.

    As for talking, it seems the yetzer hara has moved from poshut avodah zorah to implied avodah zorah by making yidden talk in shul, keeping them from davening. Think about it. If you let your mind wander, you get this train of thought and this train begets a runaway idea that you feel compelled to share with somebody, anybody.

    • Chosid

      I hope this is very sarcastic.

  • Danny

    Great post!

  • http://welcomebalance.blogspot.com s(b.)

    nice.

  • Anonymous

    It may sound crazy, but it’s actually not that implausible. According to some prominent poskim, the use of electricity in situations where it does not generate significant heat is forbidden primarily due to minhag (rather than a concrete halachic concern). Talking in shul, on the other hand, may be in violation of black-and-white halacha

    • http://arttzaddikim.blogspot.com Shul-less, Thanks to the Clueless

      I think the Shul talking reached a critical level with me, visiting So Fla’s Golden Beach for over 6 months . . . I would change seats, find ways to prolong prayers and songs and never allow interruptions to make me look up, but it finally got to me . . . Rabbi heard I was perturbed and stood for silence and respect, but asked me to stay away for 2 months. I knew he must be right. I need rest!? But I couldn’t bear the removal of support in favor of the wealthier, prettier, younger loud! Not just loud, etc, non-jews, women stalking men . . . talking, greeting, kissing, whenever they arrived! Home by Feb. NYC Queens Shul, talking, non-stop, same people as before I left, still not stopping at request of Rabbi or Asst Rabbi, women 99%. I left Pesach and have been without a nearby Shul and I am suffering. I can’t do another Shush, without fear that I will be silenced.

  • Now this is satire

    I knew you had it in you Hesh…

    I am loving these Comments and WTF’s of the day, hope you can keep them up.

  • ghottistyx

    Heh, this is funnier than a ban on Hatzolo radios!

    Similar joke I’ve heard about driving on shabbat.

    A man goes up to an Orthodox Rabbi and asks if it’s permissible for him to drive his Lamborghini to shul on shabbat. The Ortho Rabbi goes, “absolutely not! By the way, what’s a Lamborghini?”

    He then goes up to a Conserv. Rabbi and asks him the same question. The Conserv. Rabbi goes, “of course it is, but only on ONE condition: you must give me a ride to shul every week AND let me test drive it around the block at least once!”

    He then goes up to a Reform Rabbi and asks him the same question. The Reform Rabbi goes, “of course it is! By the way, what’s shabbat?”

  • Marcos

    Classic Frum Satire!

  • how do you spell…

    LAME

  • http://www.agrosif.com Moshe P. Mann

    Hey Hesh, I thought of a great idea for a satirical post. It’s based on the infamous Rabbi Leib Tropper’s Eternal Jewish Family and their twisted practice of embracing intermarried couples with open arms but revoking the conversion of the woman wears pants. The post would go something like “Chareidi Rabbis Declare: Sex with shiksas permitted, as long as she doesn’t become Modern Orthodox”. I wouldn’t mind writing the article for you. Whad’ya think?