Charedi girls paid not to wear makeup at their wedding

by Heshy Fried on September 1, 2009 · 26 comments

charedi girls makeupJerusalem – The Darchei Rachel seminary for girls in Jerusalem imposed a new regulation recently: Each girl agreeing not to put on makeup for her wedding will receive a scholarship worth NIS 1,000 (about $265).

Even I am not deranged enough to come up with such bullshit (Ynet has the story and the comments on Vos Iz Nieas are interesting), my first thought was “I hate girls with makeup so this sounds cool” second thought was “shit its not even cash?”

Then of course I thought about the fact that kallahs were supposed to look good for their husbands, and about those poor Charedi girls forced to marry at such a young age and now they should feel pressure to withhold from makeup – on top of this, its not like they actually get to keep the money, it goes to tuition because what would an aidel frum girl need to do with that kind of money. Money affords power and individuality and frum girls should have neither.

Seems like they are slowly trying to make women into robots that can have no fun, and I don’t even like girls who wear makeup

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Charedi girls paid not to wear makeup at their wedding | Frum … | Judaica Source
September 1, 2009 at 9:40 PM

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Frum but Fun September 1, 2009 at 2:23 PM

In that case, Charedi girls should not be wearing floor length gowns to their wedding either lest they trail draws attention. While they are at it, they can forget about getting their hair done for their wedding either since hair can be alluring.

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2 D123 September 1, 2009 at 2:30 PM

That is messed up.. I am not a big fan of makeup either.. I believe it is like painting over a painting..
Yet a little makeup to enhance ones beauty as one should on their wedding day for themselves and their future husband is feminine and should be appropriate for all levels of religiosity. Taking away a woman’s right to feel femine and feel extra beautiful .. no makeup ..shaved head..etc.. is wrong on so many levels. I am completely appalled by this article.

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3 OJ September 1, 2009 at 2:51 PM

They also pay 1000 NIS if the groom comes unshaven with an untucked, sweaty, once-white shirt. Tzniut goes boths ways, you know.

Seriously, the wedding is the one time when you are publicly known to be permitted to your husband and there is no reason a woman can’t look attractive for him and even touch him in public on his wedding dance. What, they might have sex? And is that a problem for newly-weds?

Only objection I can think of is that women shouldn’t look good in general, which contradicts the Talmud’s dictum that “women are for beauty”
http://mechon-mamre.org/b/l/l2804.htm Taanit 31a

http://mechon-mamre.org/b/l/l3205.htm Ketubot 59b

Though ’solomon’ of mishlei 31, irrespective of his 300 wives and 700 concubines, does say ‘grace is a lie, and beauty a vanity’

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4 OJ September 1, 2009 at 3:17 PM

Looks like the quotes didn’t make it in Hebrew:

Taanit 31a
* Our Rabbis Taught: ‘The pretty among them, what did they say? Give your eyes to beauty, for a women is only for beauty. The connect ones among them, what would they say? Give your eyes to family, for a woman is only for children. The ugly among them, what did they say? Take your takings for the sake of Heaven and only they should crown us with gold.’

Ketubot 59b
* As R’ Hiyya taught: ‘A woman is only for beauty. A woman is only for children’. And R’ Hiyya taught: ‘A woman is only for women’s jewelry’

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5 Adena September 1, 2009 at 3:18 PM

I hope none of these young women take the seminary up their offer. This sounds so crazy to me…

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6 FrumGer September 1, 2009 at 3:29 PM

at least they have a choice in the matter, ……….at least that…. i am suprised they do.

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7 StlSam September 1, 2009 at 3:42 PM

@frumger

at least for now….

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8 Phil September 1, 2009 at 4:26 PM

Makeup at weddings is minhag Yisrael, these guys are jackasses.

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9 Ben September 1, 2009 at 4:33 PM

All this is very amusing but it has nothing to do with Judaism….not the normal kind anyway

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10 Bella September 1, 2009 at 4:35 PM

Sigh. At least up the ante. $265? Not enough, I think! I don’t really wear makeup either but taking away a choice is what this is all about. Sad.

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11 Double M September 1, 2009 at 4:36 PM

1k NIS ROFL you can buy what for 265 USD? That’s almost what I pay for 2 months of my phone and ISP.
As your saying she needs to make herself look good for her chatan! No no no you must make yourself look plain and drab for your husband on the most important day of your live and the starting point from which everything follows. After all if the young lady looks pretty and all made up it might lead to something unforgivable… a stronger physical attraction!

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12 MENDY September 1, 2009 at 5:00 PM

If I hadn’t seen this on Yeshiva World I’d think that Heshy made up the story.

I assume the reason is so that the chossen will be interested in her because of her yichus, not because of what she looks like.

I’m offereing $500 to any chossen in America who doesn’t get a haircut, shave or use deodorant for his chassanah.

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13 Nechama September 1, 2009 at 5:18 PM

Fuck that, I’m putting on all the make up I wnt at my wedding. Those frummies can shitck it!!

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14 musicluver November 12, 2009 at 4:44 PM

That kind of language makes you sound like–excuse me–a whore.

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15 oy vey September 1, 2009 at 5:32 PM

I’ve heard so many Rabbis say girls should try to look beautiful and put together for themselves and to show respect for the beautiful temple we were given, and yet they are trying so hard to take that away from these girls, and on their wedding day?!!?
and what, the chosson is allowed to shave, get a hair, brush his teeth?!

ay this is so wrong!! it’s a WEDDING.

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16 snl September 1, 2009 at 6:51 PM

this is too funny! in part i am not all that surprised because i had a navi teacher who once used the entire 45 min period to talk about how untznius nail polish is… but seriously?!? no makeup on ones wedding day?!? on a day to day basis i rarely if ever wear makeup but not to wear makeup at my own wedding?!? you have got to be kidding me. for get about the groom, what about the pictures? nobody wants their wedding photographers reflection on their forehead in some of the most important pictures they will ever take! my grand kids will one day see those pictures…

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17 FrumCurious September 1, 2009 at 9:28 PM

Agreed, it’s ridiculous.

And what of someone with oily skin? You don’t want everyone seeing themselves in your forehead, or worse, you wake up with a HUGE zit on your face.

It sounds vain, but random acne could easily just add to the stress of the girls’ day. It’s not fair, they should be allowed to wear makeup without having to feel pressured.

With that said, I don’t wear tons of makeup. I probably wear eyeliner and mascara and chapstick (I’m low maintenance) fairly regularly but that’s just to cover up my blonde-ish eyelashes.

Darchei Rachel: FAIL!

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18 Mark September 1, 2009 at 10:40 PM

It’s part of the Charedi movement towards becoming a new religion (much like Christianity all those years ago). They are combining parts of Judaism, ascetism, parts of European culture (mainly dress), and a few other things, and will eventually come up with a new religion. In my opinion, the most dangerous of these is ascetism, because it is *always* used to oppress people considered to be low on the totem pole (non-leaders, women, children, disabled, etc).

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19 SHMARYAHOO September 1, 2009 at 10:48 PM

Maybe it’s to ensure that the chossen sees what the kallah really looks like at the bedeken so that he’s not surprised one morning.

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20 Mike S September 2, 2009 at 7:35 AM

Mark twain noted that some things can’t be burlesqued. I think this qualifies.

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21 Anonymous September 2, 2009 at 4:39 PM

i dont get it, is this a joke or real?

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22 aztecqueen2000 September 2, 2009 at 5:37 PM

While I think an inch-thick plastering of makeup is borderline inappropriate (bear in mind that a photographer’s flash makes the plastering necessary in order to avoid looking cadaverous), I don’t get it.

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23 Avrumy September 3, 2009 at 2:04 PM

Women of Israel it is time to stand up to the misogynists that are trying to run/ruin your lives as independent intelligent human-beings. To hell with them. Be true to Hashem and not self-proclaimed leaders who will do almost anything to cling to power and keep women down for ungodly reasons.

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24 anonymous September 5, 2009 at 10:57 PM

I know many frum ladies are happy to wear a sheitl so there are no more “bad hair days”, but this is a new take on “no more bad FACE days”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-APpOmVHcSU

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25 Want to meet nechama September 11, 2009 at 3:17 PM

A girl who says fuck that abt frummies !! Awesome I wanna meet u ;)

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