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Pregnant women should be banned, according to a Jewish organization whose name has been withheld to protect me. After viewing a drawing of the matriarch, Rivka, pregnant with her future sons, Yaakov and Esav, as part of an educational curriculum, the Jewish organization asserted that pregnant women are not tznius and the image should not be used to teach children about Tenach.
According to this logic, any married woman should not be seen in pictures, since her existence indicates that she must have participated in a shameful un-tznius act by virtue of her marriage. Apparently, the heimisha stork brings babies to the most religious families, who don’t engage in “that sort of thing.” Clearly they have not gone far enough in their subjugation of women. Perhaps we could learn a thing or two from the Muslims. Burkas are not only tznuis, but prevent unnecessary fornication. As of now, news about their Kosher Sex Education curriculum has not been released.
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{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }
Unfortunately, that’s actually pretty near-fetched.
Funny, but unfortunatly not surprising.
We heimish storks are only in Brooklyn, Kiryas Yoel and New Sqver. We do however have less religious mishpacha elsewhere.
Please tell me this is satire. Oh, how I wish it would be!
Not sure if there are heimasha storks since storks are not kosher.
Considering the line between fact and fiction has been on vacation for years where bans are concerned, is this for real?
And frummie babies are brought by ducks. That’s why frummies are so freaking retarded. It’s much harder for ducks to carry babies and they end up dropping them several times on the way, occasionally on the head.
too funny Moishe
if only these freaks would know what they are missing. me personally i have dovids hamelech dna. at least for woman.
Actually, most frummie families are machmir to have their babies brought by only birds which are heimish and dress in black and white, ie bald eagles and penguins.
LOL arnie… I agree about the heimish birds.. I can just imagine a bald eagle in a tallis, carrying the little shiefele into his parents’ waiting arms.. As for you doubters, it is absolutely true (since I wrote/experienced it) and proves that fact is indeed stranger than fiction. I was floored too when I heard it.
As for the storks not being kosher, it protects them from being eaten in the process of delivering all the babies… or alternatively, since it can’t be eaten and therefore, gain sparks of holiness that elevate its existence, it has to do the next best thing and bring more Jewz into the world..
why do religious people loooove hating women? if men can’t control themselves, they should be the ones locked away, not women in wigs and stupid looking clothing.
funny, i was just thinking the other day, all of us have arrived here by the act of fucking; all of us (minus the test-tube invitro crowd, of course)
funny, it just occurred to me the other day that all of us have arrived here by an act of copulation; all of us (except the test-tube invitro crowd, of course)
jude, I realized that when my mom told me about sex.
“…so you like, did that with dad?”
“Yeah.”
“EEEWWW!!!” And then I ran away.
asinine.
> (except the test-tube invitro crowd, of course)
Shh, you’re going to give them ideas.
there is no way this is real…. if it is then They have certainly gone off the derech. I mean i would consider myself higharchial and differential. women are women and men are men. each belongs to its own. but that is just crazy… where is any scripture that says pregg women are untznuis? personally sometimes I think there is a fine line between an authoritive decision, and adding or taking away from the Torah. I wonder how many times people cross it for the sake of an obtuse edict…
Well, in the communities where they’d enforce this, the women are never on the streets together with the men anyway. The men are sitting in the yeshivos during the day, and the women are working 2 jobs. When do they see each other?
With regard to some of the comments: a friend of mine once asked me if I could guess what a Lakewood couple’s sex life is like. Does the guy say a l’shem yichud beforehand? Maybe they’re into some kinky stuff, but for the wrong reason – maybe he puts on a blindfold?
What do you think?
Pregnant women should be banned, according to a Jewish organization whose name has been withheld to protect me.
Uhh, guys. It’s a joke. Like many of the best it’s close enough to reality to fool the listener.
I go dressed 2 sizes bigger so it just looks like I gained a few pounds other wise some might thing I had sex. And the frum kids are told that babys come from shomayim so I dontwant to confuse them
Sorry, A. Nuran, it’s actually true cuz I was there.. I wish I could say it’s a joke and then maybe I wouldn’t be so disturbed with the hierarchical and patriarchal rabbis who deem women inferior. I wish I had a fake joke to share, but the truth has to come out somewhere.
Moshe, I literally laughed out loud at that one. Brilliant!
> where is any scripture that says pregg women are untznuis?
Where is there any “scripture” about tzniuos alltogether? The best we’ve got is Rivka covering her face when she meets Yitzchak and the ritual of sotah. And maybe something about Rus being tznious when collecting grain.
But then we also have lovely stories like Rus sharing Boaz’s bed, and Yehuda’s fling with Tamar.
Where is there any “scripture” about tzniuos alltogether?
And where is there any “scripture” as to what the fuck the “put these words as a sign between your eyes” means? Or almost every other word in Tanach, which makes no sense by itself.
I think the picture book should have shown Rivka giving birth to twins.
Not surprising.
Yeah, good point, G*3.. If you really want to frustrate yourself about crazy rules about tznius, read this Oz Ve’Hadar Levusha…And if you want to read about some pretty risque stuff, just open up Vayikra and there’s all sorts of “untznius” stuff.. don’t forget about Noach and his daughters.. or the Pilegesh b’givah (in Shoftim, I think.. although my teachers made us skip it cuz it wasn’t “appropriate”) The truth is it’s people making up these stances about women, not the actual scripture…
“The truth is it’s people making up these stances about women, not the actual scripture…”
So nice to see the truth in print, though electronic. Half of our religion is from men making up rules to suit themselves and their immature fear of women. Women were made b’tzelem elokim as well, but that is not relevant, right?
Well, it’s about time!
All these people saying “This is my son. This is my daughter.” Before you know it, they will be demonstrating how their children came about!
By scripture I include Gemorrah and ha Shulchan Aruch. I believe in the authorities of the Rabbaim. They Do sit in Moshe Rabbanu’s seat. But I don’t think that is Halachah at all, almost anti halachah. a pregnant women is carrying the most important thing in our faith, Life. they should be honored, not shunneed away. I am not of the opinion that just because there is a mehizah and we separate man and womens role that all the rabbis are cave men. I agree that there shold be destinction, they do go over board though. i hate how people just lump all Frum yids into the women hater box. but i think some of them deserve it. i don’t have a problem with the system as a whole but this edict if it is true is overboard
Guess they will be wanting to change their invitations as well: http://frumheretic.blogspot.com/2009/08/my-daughter-virgin.html
FrumHeretic, I always found that terminology offsetting too .. especially when the kesuba is read aloud at the wedding.. and what if the bride is not a virgin, is she worth fewer shekels? The whole thing feels demeaning…and don’t get me started about the whole proving you’re a Jew thing.. Nice blog, by the way.
The same schools that won’t show, discuss, or acknowledge a pregnant woman (from the Torah no less) are the same that won’t allow pictures of horses or bears or camels (or chas v’sholom *pigs*) on the kindergarten bulletin boards because those animals are not kosher. Or snowmenin winter. Not sure about the reasoning for that, except that snowmen are traditionally not Jewish. (What, no bris?)