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Kipah Sruga Burning in Bnei Brak

kipa srugaThousands of Charedim gathered today to protest a new Hesder Yeshiva being build within the city limits of Bnei Brak. They burnt dumpsters filled with kipah srugas, colorful tichels, Rav Kook seforim and those artsy drawings of the ten sefirot that adorn the walls of many modern orthodox and freakish baal teshuiva Chassidim in Tzfat.

Things got ugly when several Charedi youths attempted to light a Judaica store on fire. The owner, a charedi who chooses to cater to the supposedly orthodox students of Bar Ilan University was reportedly selling blasphemous items like red havdalah candles, multi colored kipot and tzitzis with techeles which have been deemed immodest by many Charedi Rabonim.

A small counter protest by Chilonim who are willing to rally with their enemies because the only people they hate more then religious Zionists are Religious Anti-Zionists, gathered across the street and were protected by a large battalion of police women who were ready to remove their vests and expose their bare arms given the chance.

Rav Yankel, who is known to issues bans as fast as they can print them just shook his head and cited quotes from his original ban of kipah srugas and anyone that wore them or allowed people who wore them into their shuls. He told us that he didnt even have to look at the teuda to see if something was kosher, he would just look at their yarmulke. However when I asked him about his thoughts on Suede yarmulkes he seemed evasive, all he could say was Pas Nisht.

I asked some of the youth who looked to be a little more modern (they didnt look malnourished) what they thought of the protest and they told me that they were secretly removing untouched kipot from the inferno so that they could turn a quick profit by selling them to tourists on the steps down to the kotel.

Others had no idea what the protest was about and were just bored during second seder, one guy told us that his yeshiva ran out of coffee and he wound up in the melee trying to find some and decided he could get a workout by burning the kipot and running away from the water cannon that the police were shooting at them every now and then.

Not surprisingly there were no women at the riot and the children were the ones looting the stores so they could rid of this disguting Zionist agenda as they call it.

{ 20 comments… add one }
  • Chris_B August 10, 2009, 8:28 AM

    Another nice spoof. You had me going until the part about the police women. Since a vest is a sleeveless garment, removing their vests would expose something far more frightening to the charedi than bare arms.

  • Heshy Fried August 10, 2009, 8:36 AM

    You got me

  • Tevy August 10, 2009, 8:41 AM

    You had me going there too. haha guys bored during second seder… I hope you don’t have to take down this one. Some of my favourite recent posts are unfortunately no more.

  • Heshy Fried August 10, 2009, 8:43 AM

    The only posts recently removed was the YU – Stern shidduch video and that was because one of the main people in the video has asked that it be taken down from You Tube multiple times but the person who made the video won’t – as always she was scared she wouldn’t get a shidduch because of it.

  • Westsider August 10, 2009, 8:48 AM

    you really have no life.

    how do you come up with this lame sh&t?

    do people really attend this type of show live?

    where? at a welfare convention?

    geez

  • Bsamim Smoker August 10, 2009, 9:45 AM

    Heshy you rock.Is this for real or is it BS.I would like to see some pics please.

  • steven smith from scranton ohio August 10, 2009, 10:10 AM

    classic frum satire I’m loving it

  • interesting to note August 10, 2009, 10:19 AM

    this one is good, youre getting better

  • Sruly August 10, 2009, 10:36 AM

    Good job,

    this one scared the hell out of me.

    On my yeshivas last shabbaton they took us to Har Nof, and during the afternoon some of us with a few rabbi met with Rabbi Moshe Sternbuch. (head of the Eida Hchareidus, the political and communal arm of the chareidi community in Jerusalem) the room was mostly filled with young bts, one of whom asked whats the deal with diff types of kippot, is there a diff, etc.

    he said anyone who wears a sruga is basically saying he doesnt want to fully commit to showing that he’s Jewish and is playing the fence.

    thus this post scared me lol.

  • Sruly August 10, 2009, 10:37 AM

    that picture tag looks like it could be from The Chosen. ha

  • Heshy Fried August 10, 2009, 11:35 AM

    That picture is the one every news site uses to show charedim making peace with tzionim – but it looks like that srugi kid is about to get the shit kicked out of him.

  • Sergeant J August 10, 2009, 11:40 AM

    Hey Hesh, referring to the posts above, were you hacked? Ask me if you are not sure what I mean.

  • Ben-Yehudah August 10, 2009, 2:41 PM

    B”H

    They are more than welcome to burn all the bright colored tichels, particularly whore colored RED, as well as any ostentatiously tzni’us tichels and “turbans.”

    It doesn’t matter if her hair is covered if it’s cover with something as bright as a neon sign.

    Very tzni’us,…NOT.

  • amarg August 10, 2009, 8:27 PM

    dude very funny article, but i cant help and say that articles like this just show baseless hatred ( even though i agree with your views on cheiradim and such) and make you sound like the people you r trying to critique

  • Yochanan August 10, 2009, 11:09 PM

    Heshy Fried said:

    “That picture is the one every news site uses to show charedim making peace with tzionim but it looks like that srugi kid is about to get the shit kicked out of him.”

    The CHaredi kid looks like he’s about to say “sup?”.

  • Yochanan August 10, 2009, 11:12 PM

    amarg,

    I agree. With so many examples of real Sin.at CHinam amongst different Jewish groups, why make up one to add?

  • Yochanan August 10, 2009, 11:15 PM

    Sruly,

    “Rabbi” Sternbuch should wear a Kipa Sruga for a week in an (safe) area with a lot of non-Jews. I wear one in the New York area and I definitely stand out as Jew.

  • Mindy August 11, 2009, 5:07 PM

    Re Yochanan post 11:59
    Definitely. No need to instigate unneccesarily.

  • Loyal Jew August 5, 2010, 9:08 AM

    Satire or not, a kippa sruga IS a symbol of compromise on emuna and halacha in every area of life.

  • Kipah July 21, 2012, 5:33 AM

    It is really interesting publish. Appreciate your discussing.

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