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Bar Mitzvah Blowjobs

bar-mitzvah-blowjobThe closest I ever got to getting some at a Bar Mitzvah was when I locked hands with a girl during a hora once. For me Bar Mitzvahs were a time to stare at the girls across the room and watch as the class pimp went up to their class pimp and chatted, all of us knew we were hopeless, well hopeless until I actually did make it to first base when I was 14.

Jewlicious has a piece today about the reform movement and their acknowledgment that wealthy suburban girls are giving boys blowjobs as bar miztvah presents because they already have everything else. If only I could have traded the 4 copies of Great Jews in Sports and the three sets of mishna bruras I got as gifts for blowjobs I would have been the happiest boy in the world.

Jerusalem Post blogger Shmuel Rosner has a great piece on the subject and has an article in which he discusses Rabbi Eric Yoffie’s talk on the topic in which he states that these girls are trying to show their worth to these boys, which seems kind of hypocritical considering the radically feminist nature of the reform movement. For those of you who don’t know,  Rabbi Yoffie is the head of the Reform Movement.

Could this be another reason to join the reform  movement?

{ 109 comments… add one }
  • Heshy Fried August 13, 2009, 10:33 AM

    I guess I should prefaced this post like Jewlicious did with: This post is not about theology – its about sex.

  • FrumGer August 13, 2009, 10:55 AM

    Ya I thought that was kind of extreme but you got Rabbaim out there that take great stock in gematria, I mean they got computers set up for nothing other than bible code typing in -pewee herman and it showes up 47 times or what ever.
    who doesn’t like a good gematria, I mean we wear 4 of them all the time- 7 8 11 13
    or 10 5 6 5 for sphardi

  • A. Nuran August 13, 2009, 11:12 AM

    You can “prove” anything you want with Gematria. It is superstition for the OCD.

  • FrumGer August 13, 2009, 1:40 PM

    Imagine Rainman doing gematria- hey wait now Dustin Hoffman is jewish i think

  • Believe It Or Not August 14, 2009, 12:34 PM

    Well about Gematreas works when youve a Issue then u compare a Gematrea! not u make a gematrea so now you’ve a new issue /Pertzah cuz this pertzah have gradeh the same gimatrea!!!

  • BiggestFish August 14, 2009, 1:08 PM

    Here is a news story of a bat mitzvah blowjob party that was shut down by police, for those who deny its existence:
    http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/archive/Bat-Mitzvah-Gone-Wild.html?corder=&pg=1

  • Phil August 14, 2009, 4:45 PM

    Tsk Tsk.

    And then they say chareidim have no respect for property and chassidim are drunkards…

  • Naamah August 30, 2009, 9:53 PM

    I know I’m a little late to the conversation and no one will probably read this comment, but it seems to me that if the Reform movement has been effective in promoting equality between men and women, the bat mitzvah girls should be getting some gifts, too. Definitely not condoning this sort of activity on the part of either males or females, of course. Hope these girls wise up eventually.

  • trevor March 6, 2018, 8:37 PM

    I want to change the religion if i may.I am a catholic guy and at my parish confirmation is done at 14 and in 8th grade.Our parish is strict and requires the girls to wear a white,poofy,short sleeve,top of the knees dress with a veil,white tights and white shoes.Like their 1st communion dresses,the confirmation dress is also considered an extension of the baptism outfit worn by the girls as babies,so to symbolize the purity of their baptisms,the girls have to wear a white under shirt and a cloth diaper and plastic panties under their tights.Us boys have to wear a dark colored suit and tie.From past experience,a reception is held for the confirmands and it is during that time that some of the girls sneak of with a boy and find a secluded place and the girls get down on their knees and give the boys a blow job.When i was confirmed,i snuck off with a cute girl in my class and i even got her confirmation dress off of her so she was just in her veil,under shirt,cloth diaper,plastic panties and tights and she gave me a great blowjob!I found it ironic that the girls had to wear all white for purity,but yet thought nothing of giving a boy a blowjob!

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