Bar Mitzvah Blowjobs

bar-mitzvah-blowjobThe closest I ever got to getting some at a Bar Mitzvah was when I locked hands with a girl during a hora once. For me Bar Mitzvahs were a time to stare at the girls across the room and watch as the class pimp went up to their class pimp and chatted, all of us knew we were hopeless, well hopeless until I actually did make it to first base when I was 14.

Jewlicious has a piece today about the reform movement and their acknowledgment that wealthy suburban girls are giving boys blowjobs as bar miztvah presents because they already have everything else. If only I could have traded the 4 copies of Great Jews in Sports and the three sets of mishna bruras I got as gifts for blowjobs I would have been the happiest boy in the world.

Jerusalem Post blogger Shmuel Rosner has a great piece on the subject and has an article in which he discusses Rabbi Eric Yoffie’s talk on the topic in which he states that these girls are trying to show their worth to these boys, which seems kind of hypocritical considering the radically feminist nature of the reform movement. For those of you who don’t know,  Rabbi Yoffie is the head of the Reform Movement.

Could this be another reason to join the reform  movement?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • The Law

    i call bullshit

  • http://useyournudell.blogspot.com Elazar

    This is pretty disturbing. And yes, Heshy, if you want a blowjob from a pre-pubescent Reform girl, it’s a great reason to join.

    But seriously, if you still have an extra set of Mishna Bruras, can I have one?

  • Gila

    At first I thought this was another one of your tasteless jokes, but, sadly, it appears to be a serious concern. I think it’s absolutely disgusting, and while part of the blame may lie with the extreme permissiveness of Reform Judaism, I think we should look first to the parents. Do they even know that this is happening? If so, do they care? It should be their responsibility to address, rectify and prevent it.

    Incidentally, if you had actually read Shmuel Rosner’s article, you would know that while Rabbi Yoffie acknowledged that young girls do tend to measure their own self-worth in terms of their sexual performance, he also bemoaned this phenomenon as contrary to Reform Judaism’s core belief system.

    Finally, I’m puzzled by the inclusion of this topic on FS, as it is neither satirical nor relevant to “frum” Judaism.

  • http://www.balebusta.wordpress.com balebusta

    Sadly this is true…I remember my step mom having to give my little sister a “warning” for when she went to bar mitzvahs at reform shuls in the westchester suburbs…my sister then asked what my mom meant by “blowjob” as she (thankfully) had no clue….mortified, but wanting to scare her away from anything un-tznius, my step mom told my sis the truth — she responded with “ewwww that’s disgusting, why would anyone want to do that!!” — spoken like a true jewish girl

  • Sergeant J

    hmm, yeah, …..feminism expressed through blowjobs as gifts to random guys….. rich feminists need to talk to their daughters….

  • Dr. Schwartzie

    Thirteen year old kids running around blowing each other is kinda gross.

  • The Real Wesley Hills

    Only the Reform? Ha! My first blow job was in Rabbi Tendler’s shul in the bathroom during my classmates’ Shabbos Bar Mitzvah! That was truly an eye opening…. I mean, zipper opening experiences that paved the way to may more explosive & enjoyable experiences!

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

    Gila, if you would have read the tagline it clearly states that “it aint always frum and it aint always satire” I just like to bring interesting stuff out there and blowjobs at bar miztvahs is just about the most interesting topic besides for frum lesbian porn I could think of.

  • http://couldnothelpmyself.com Ralph Weiz

    So Real Wesley Hills…Was the Rabbi any good?..:-)

  • The Real Wesley Hills

    RW: Don’t you wish?

  • http://frumcurious.blogspot.com FrumCurious

    Though I have never been to a bar mitzvah myself (I didn’t know I was jewish until I was 18, and by then everybody was already at college), I can totally see how suburban rich girls are blowing dudes on theri bar mitzvahs.

    Actually, I hear that girls from Great Neck are well known for that: loving to give bj’s and practically begging to. Kinda gross, and it can get messy, but hey whatever floats your boat.

  • http://couldnothelpmyself.com Ralph Weiz

    HEHE..Just joking..All in fun.

  • ——————-

    TRWH: Lucky SOB! I heard the rumors about that a long time ago, I guess they were true!

  • YID38

    Does one realize that one day we will have to give an accounting?

  • Tevye

    Yeah, about those extra sets of Mishna Berura… I only have half a set. Are you looking to let loose a few volumes?

    :)

  • Chris_B

    “Feminism” has changed since the bra burning days of Jane Fonda. Even the idea expressed in the link of self worth defined as how well they please boys doesnt fully address this issue. The whole thing is far more complex than most blog posts or comments can contain.

    FrumCurious,

    Today you say “whatever floats your boat” but a few days ago you were getting textually rabid about fapping? What gives?

  • PISSED OFF GIRL

    Hesh, where are all these girls?All the girls I know would never give out BJs(unless it was thier husband,maybe) and if a guy dare asked for one he would get a slap in the face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

    Pissed off girl I ask myself the same question – but these aren’t frum girls, since frum kids go to same sex schools – this was in reference to the reform movements stance on the issue

  • http://2nd-son.blogspot.com/ G*3

    I feel like I missed out. All I got for my Bar Mitzvah was a bunch of seforim I never used.

  • Anonymous

    When it’s all said and done, the poor bar mitzvah boy can’t even give a dvar torah since he’s already blown his load.

  • Parent in NY

    Another great example of how FS Heshy Freid is a pervert.

    Great journalism you ass.

  • http://www.kidneykid.com Little Pom’s Mom

    As the token Reform today, I’ll say that my daughter is 15 and has NEVER heard of her friends (male or female) engaging in this behavior. This sounds an awful lot like those “rainbow party” rumors that were running rampant in the secular parenting community a few years back.

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

    Parent – thanks for the compliment – never knew bloggers were journalists and to think I was going to apply to Columbia for Journalism school.

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

    With all due respect do you think your daughter would tell you she blew some guy at a bar mitzvah?

    Besides the chief rabbi of the reform movement acknowledged it and if Jewlicious wrote about it it must be truthful, right?

  • Gila

    No, bloggers don’t have to conform to professional journalism standards, but you might want to try out spellcheck once in a while. Oh, and the Shift key isn’t only for the first word of a sentence.

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

    Gila – all of my posts are typed in Word or Firefox so whatever they don’t catch goes into the blog so that the nazis can correct me – you obviously didn’t attend a shitty yeshiva like myself that focused more on the evils of wasted semen than teaching us how to get a job if we didn’t feel that the kollel lifestyle was right for us.

  • Bsamim Smoker

    I think the issue is really Blown out of proportion
    The article in Jewlicious really blew me away

    I tell ya, I really blew my chance at this oppertunity when I was bar mitzvah

    When the Bar Mitzvah boy gets his “Bar Mitzvah” cake “blow out the candles” takes on a whole knew meaning

    The boy can finally say he got a bar mitzvah present that really “blew him away”

    His his friends ask him what he got for his bar mitzvah, he can always say”most of the gifts were nice,but one really sucked”

  • Bsamim Smoker

    When the bar mitzvah boy is busted by his grandma, he could always say”I was just tryin to get a head in life”

  • Bsamim Smoker

    Dad:Hey Johnny how did you like your Bar Mitzah?
    Jonny:It really sucked

    Now thats called using your head

  • Bsamim Smoker

    Whats do a waiter and I Bar Mitzvah boy have in common?
    they both get stiffed

  • http://esseragaroth.blogspot.com Ben-Yehudah

    B”H

    I would like to encourage you to put rabbi in quotation marks when referring to “those people.”

    They’re not even rabbanim tze’irim; they’re wannabe apikoursim. But, there not even smart enough to be that.

  • Sergeant J

    Ben Yehudah, do you mean the reform, or the “frum” ones who seem to think it’s ok to force kids to BJ them?

  • http://esseragaroth.blogspot.com Ben-Yehudah

    Both.

    The latter are evil or need serious help.

    The former are just fakes faking what they want Jews to think is Judaism in order to chip away at the Torah, and raise up the Erev Rav.

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    This was really funny, then I checked out the source and it seems it might be true. I guess those reform rabbis babes deicded to demonstrate what wasting seed meant…

    This really opens up the door for lots of puns, Bsamim got at “head” start. Following frumcurios’s note, maybe we should rename that section of New York to “Great Head” or “Deep throat” instead of Great Neck.

    I guess some parties blow, others suck…
    I wonder what kind of cards Hallmark is going to make to go along with these “unique” gifts.

    Seriously, I think Jewlicious might have some immature teens commenting there, the rainbow / lipstick thing under the table hardly seems believable. However, in this day and age, I wouldn’t put anything past reform.

  • FrumGer

    these kids are only doing what they should be expected to.. in secular society this is common and reform jewish children live in a total secular society. what would anyone expect? For all of you baal teshuvah’s and gerim was middle/high school any different? that is what is sad -the reform base their doctrine on lox & bagels, klezmer music, matzo ball soup and and all other things “culturly jewish” But No responsibility to the Torah.. do they actually know or care what the lack of Torah & goyishe lifestyle is doing to their kinder??? check out this bar mitzvah speech it’s funny but also pretty sad … Reformers need a little Reforming!!!

    Cut and paste to your address box

  • BT girl

    this post is sad but true, and not limited to bar mitzvas — boys on the bus home from school would always brag about the girls giving them BJs over the weekend >> do I believe that this was really going on? fo sho: there was a Jewish girl who had a kid at 14 years old

  • Gila

    Regardless of what anyone thinks about the legitimacy of Reform Judaism, it should not be insinuated that the movement is actively trying to “chip away at the Torah” or engage Jews through deception. I happen to think there are serious problems with the movement, but I would never for a second view Reform rabbis as the enemy. They are, perhaps, misguided, but their beliefs are sincerely held and they are usually pious people (I say usually because there are always exceptions.)

    We have far greater problems to conquer.

  • http://esseragaroth.blogspot.com Ben-Yehudah

    Gila, since you are female, I will engage in any hallachic discussion with you.

    However, I will suggest that you take a look at the history of the “Reform [bowel] Movement.”

    As you look at it develop you will see its tendency to see out and attract money and prestige. It promises a boost in members’ gaivah with little work.

    It never believed in anything, but knew that the Torah was too powerful to take on all at once. And, so it began with Torah sheb’al peh.

    In the 80’s when they started talking about spirituality, they knew they needed to, as the BT movement was growing strong, and was a serious threat, even with the inclusion of shiksa and sheigitz spouses.

    These are only a couple of examples as to why I’m right.

  • Telzer

    Hello Reb Heshy,

    This is an unfair malignment of Rabbi Eric Yoffee and the Reform movement in one statement:

    “…Rabbi Eric Yoffie’s talk on the topic in which he states that these girls are trying to show their worth to these boys, which seems kind of hypocritical considering the radically feminist nature of the reform movement.”

    I reread this a number of times and also compared his talk readily available on the ‘net (http://urj.org/about/union/leadership/yoffie/biennialsermon05/).

    You also overlooked Rosner’s comment: ” ‘The degradation of girls flies in the face of the Reform Movement’s dedication to the equality of women ‘, he said.”

    Consider:

    * This patently implies that Rabbi Yoffee is a hypocrite as if he was condoning this practice. This is so far from true. This man is greatly responsible for turning his followers back to observance. It is true that he may be moving with glacial speed and might still be permissive for one’s taste. Nevertheless, it is a fact that he encourages a return to tradition. It is also true that followers of Reform have demonstrated a desire for tradition. (citations on request).

    * There is no empirical evidence that this practice is at epidemic levels in the Reform movement nor has anyone proved causality by the principles of Reform in this regard.

    * “…radically feminist nature of the reform movement.” Pure hyperbole with no proof or basis. Egalitarian? Okay. Radical? Feh. “Women are on a higher spiritual plane” (yeah, right), now that is radically feminist.

    Say what you will about the Reform movement, it IS populated with many (no, not all) Yehudim. The vast majority if not all of them, each qualify for status as tinok shenishba and deserve respect.

  • http://esseragaroth.blogspot.com Ben-Yehudah

    Personally, I am not trying to, and have not, done anything to put down the poor misguided ones.

    You are right about the status of tinoq she’nishbah. The percentage of Jews in this “movement?” I’m not so sure about this.

    How long have they been pushing their fake conversions, intermarriage, and paternal lineage crap?

    I have tried, and have hopefully succeeded in saying nasty things about the Reform leadership, philosophy and motivations.

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    This is the bi-product of having openly gay and lesbian rabbis. When you start mixing s*x with religion, you get this novel idea for a bar mitzva gift.

    That being said, as much as I can’t stand the idiotic reform movement, I very highly doubt that this unique Bar mitvah gift / ritual is limited exclusively to their members.

    What about all other non practising or non religious Jews?

  • FrumGer

    Reform Judiasm is a slap to the face of all the people that were expelled, killed, or walled up in a ghetto for keeping the yiddishkiet. I like the reform individual but I hate the colective. and reform rabbaim are not rabbiam!! they are beardless Gillette Mach 3 using shmoosers that don’t wear a yarmulke when with all their goyisher friends and keep kosher in the house but go down to dennys to eat chazer.. they care more about keeping the fat paychecks coming in then ever tell their rich congegation that they should be shomer shabbos. laymen too busy being seeker/ user friendly… they are apikores and I see no difference between them and Jews for Jesus. both try to lead astray, by twisting scripture or out right defying it. again I love individual yid that is reform, but the I am totally against the movement. Thank G-d for the crazy Charedim having 10 kids each… and other chasidim as well for that matter// at least in a few generations the reformers will be out.. because they have about two kids and one intermarries and the other becomes a secular humanist. true yiddishkiet will be back to square. a few hundred years ago there wasn’t the term “orthodox” or “reform” you were either Jewish or you were fercockted apikorosim

  • StLSam

    Its a wider problem than just reform or jews in general. The xtian schools in my home town had an std breakout while i was in college because the kids thought oral sex was just french kissing. Nobody taught the kuds real sex ed and all of a sudden, a bunch of “nice xtian girls” had oral STDs.

    Really, this should be a wake up call to parents and teachers to show the need for comprehensive sex ed.

  • perverse

    thats all i have to say about a 2 bit punk who wants to stir up the pot.

    what a pedo you are FS.

    seriously.

  • Telzer

    Well Phil, you gotta pick your poison. With openly gay and lesbian rabbis you get this novel idea for a bar mitzva gift. With a closet gay rabbi, you get a pedophile protected by the community. You need to study causality, sir.

  • http://abandoningeden.blogspot.com abandoning eden

    chris b- feminist never burned bras, they just threw them in a trash can.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_brassieres#Feminist_protests.2C_Miss_America.2C_and_.22bra_burning.22

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    Telzer,

    What ever happened to hiring straight rabbis? If a community protects a pedophile, they’re just as guilty as he is. Still, I can’t see any frum community having an openly gay or pedophile rabbi the way reform does.

    At least they’ve actually drawn the line and condemn this sort of gift to an extent, FOR NOW. I’m sure it will become the next norm in their twisted version of Judaism, once they figure out it will get them more young members, and some dumb yuppie claims the BJ’s are protected by the constitution ever since Clinton.

  • http://2nd-son.blogspot.com/ G*3

    > As you look at it develop you will see its tendency to see out and attract money and prestige.

    Does this come from the Protocols of the Elders of Zion or from Mein Kampf?

  • Aviva

    AE is right about the bra burning myth. Thanks for clearing that up.

    I’m so tired of gay people being portrayed as pedophiles. Last time I checked, most pedophiles were straight men. Including those in the frum community (some of whom were protected against legal action, I might add).

    Girls giving out sexual favors is a rather sad indication of declining sexual standards. It used to be that women were the sexual gatekeepers within their relationships. I hope that we can slowly return to a place where sexuality is seen as the sacred gift that G-d intends it to be. Sexual innocence gets a bad rap in secular society, but it’s so beautiful ….. as a ba’al teshuva, I am so pleased that my daughters will be able to protect themselves from this kind of insanity. (At least I sure hope so.)

    I don’t think Heshy is a pervert or sick or sex crazed or any such thing. (Well, no more than your average unmarried guy in his 20’s.) What I do think he does is enjoy inciting riot and sparking conversation. Which, judging from the comments, he does well.

    Keep up the good work, Mr. Hesh.

  • anonymous

    telling you the chareidi community are nothing better this going on in talmud torahs/yeshivas etc wer’e all corrupted!

  • anonymous

    any1 who has more info or experience about what I’m talking please share it with us Stories/Comments Tnx.

  • A. Nuran

    At my Bar Mitzvah we did respect one Ancient Tradition. The local rabbi tried to shake my dad down for extra money on the threat of no Bar Mitzvah and reduced marriage prospects, so we went to a different shul :-) The other rabbi was Reform, so presumably the Bar Mitzvah was, too.

    I don’t think I even knew what a blow job was. And none of the girls offered me one. Must have been hanging out in the wrong sort of synagogue…

  • A. Nuran

    Phil, what’s it like going through life with a bull’s rectum for a mouth?

    Reform and Conservative Jews have led the way in supporting laws which punished baby rapers directly and through their over-representation in social justice organizations. They certainly have homosexual rabbis. But unless you’ve been inhaling the flatus that emanates from Rush Limbaugh and the 700 Club you would understand that there’s a world of difference between a man who is attracted to other men and a man who is attracted to little children. To mistake the two is like saying that you personally, Phil, want to mount little girls.

    Obviously you don’t. Homosexual men don’t want to do anything similar to little boys. Lesbians aren’t interested in pre-pubescent girls.

    It’s true that the Haredim are different. They’d never allow an openly gay man to become a rabbi. The *spit* Black Hats protect pedophiles and rapists and justify everything from fraud to attempted murder as “don’t be a moser” or “Tanya says goyim are lower than whale shit, so anything we do to them is fine.”

    Reform at least has the moral courage to believe – apologies to Dr. King – that men should be judged on the content of their character, not the dead treyf animal plopped on their head.

  • Chris_B

    Abandoning Eden,

    Though it is indeed an urban myth, I chose the words for effect just as I chose Jane Fonda as an example.

  • Avrumy

    What about the gay bar mitzvah boys? Seems unfair!!!

  • Gila

    From the URJ website:

    “Reform Jews are committed to the absolute equality of women in all areas of Jewish life. We were the first movement to ordain women rabbis, invest women cantors, and elect women presidents of our synagogues.”

    By definition, radical feminism seeks to overthrow male-dominated society and impose a female-dominated society in its place. Egalitarianism, however, advocates the “absolute equality” of men and women, meaning that men and women should be free of traditional gender roles and able to engage in whatever activities they wish to regardless of gender.

    I think equality is an often-misused term. Here, the URJ has translated “equal” as “the same”. I don’t think this is a fair definition. I would say that men are equal to women in the sense that God values us equally and our self-worth is the same- but I would make the distinction that, although we make equal contributions to society, we make different contributions to society.

    Egalitarianism refuses to recognize the biological differences between men and women, which are both psychological and physiological. These differences prevent us from attaining true “equality” as defined by the URJ and many other institutions. This is not to say that certain roles and positions are completely closed off to all men or all women, since individuality allows for deviations from the norm. However, on the whole, we should recognize that trends exist and embrace rather than fight them.

    Now, halachically speaking, it’s impossible for women to perform the full duties of rabbi and cantor. (I see no halachic issue with women as shul presidents.) The Modern Orthodox movement is becoming more open to the idea of ordaining women, but it will not bestow upon them the title of “rabbi” in recognition that these women, once ordained, still will not be able to do everything that male rabbis do (e.g., serve as a witness for Beit Din.)

    As for a female Shaliach Tzibur, there is very little room for that. Shira Chadasha in Jerusalem has a mechitza but allows women to lead Kabbalat Shabbat and certain other parts of the davening and to receive aliyot. However, Rabbi Riskin and other Orthodox rabbis have protested strongly against this practice. I suppose, if a congregation actively states that its members are not offended by women taking on these roles, it might avoid the “Kavod Tzibur” difficulty. However, this is still dubious as non-members could easily walk in the door, and they might not have made that statement.

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    Aviva / A Nuran,

    I didn’t equate the two, I was responding to Telzer that did.

    No, I don’t think gays are sick like pedophiles, though I’m not thrilled with the idea of them in general, and especially when idiots like reform make an issue out of them by appointing openly gay rabbis. More than likely that they are doing it as a publicity stunt.

    As for what consists of pedophilia, that would really depend where you live. Should an 18 year old doing a 17 year old go to jail?

    How about a mature 16 year old with an immature 19 year old?

    If parents of minors are responsible for their actions according to law, shouldn’t the parents of these bar mitzva BJ girls be arrested?

    What would they say if their son got head from the gay dude in the class instead of a girl, wouldn’t that make for an even more unique “gift”?

  • FrumGer

    I must agree there is mos Def a difference between Gay and Pedophile… the sin of homosexuality and pedophilia is wrong in the Torah , but then so is masterbati0n and the even biggest yeshivish yid is guilty of that.. an assur is an assur, both have death penalty And i will not excuse one and not the other. the problem comes not in someone being guilty, because guilt can breed Teshuvah… it comes in people openly admitting the assur and being proud of it, like its not a big deal. which this blog is very guilty of. I think it is an Chillul Hashem to to give smichah to anyone who is openly gay, but then again it is the same to anyone who is openly a masterbator or a chazer eater. its funny how people put made up standards or levels on sin.. I happen to now several totally homosexual people (goyim) and all of them are some of the kindest hearted people I know would give you anything you need with out a thought. And i would totally trust them with my kinder. I hate that people judge them and spare the yid that makes light of masterbation and porn and other things that in our eyes that “is not as bad” but in Hashems “eyes” are just as bad. that is total hypocracy! anyone on this blog that has ever commited any shondeh that carries a death penalty is just as guilty as any gay person or pedophile. yes I saw Trembling before G-d and i felt bad for the gays that tried to change and couldn’t, were embarrassed and hurt that their yetzer hora got the best of them, but I got angery at the openly Gay couples that tried to look Frum and act frum but did not even try to change at all. As to Reform rabbaim.. they are not Rabbis!! the reform movement holds no obligation to the Torah as it in their eyes is “ancient history” how then can anyone expect different? if homosexuality is no longer “wrong” then why would violating any other part of Torah be wrong- like giving falatio? As to all you who bring the few case of pedestry and pedophia up, in the frum world..NO one is protecting these Rabbaim!! the rabbi’s all loose there jobs, some have gone to jail, they get what they dererve. but even still while that is a horrable offense look at it on a more spiritual level, the yetzer hora affects everyone different, why do you think your sin is “better” than someone elses? again to all you commentors including Heshy Fried (unfortunaly because i really do like Heshy) all of you that boast and joke about masterbation and pornography, as if that is better, then homosexuality or pedophilia!!! they all carry the same punishment… DEATH! one is not “better” than the other. Any Assur is a terrible thing and none of us are Tzaddikim!!! why is it so human nature to think you are better than another person!! we all are terrible, selfish creatures who hurt others all the time! i love how all these bloggers who act like 14 year old pisshers, try to act like they know something. even Heshy I gotta tell you- sometimes your blog can be mature and reflective like on tish ba’av and other times like this post can be so juvenile and perverted. Get a woman all ready, man!! Have some “Shabbat evenings and Mikveh Nights” !! you act like the guys from american pie except that movie is meant to attract the minds of 16 year old goyim not 26 year old Frum yids. if you do want to report contrivorsial topics that is fine, but why do you have to use such dirty phases for it?? “Giving head?” use some more professional language, man stop acting like a 16 year old “yeshivah rebel” GROW UP, your older than me man I’m 25! Again I love 90% of your blogs and this one brought up serious issues, but instead of treating it with any grace at all you talk about how bad you would trade your mishneh in for a violation of Torah… I know it is just a joke (maybe) why can’t you just approach these topics with some grace??? thats why you won’t get a shadduch.. no respectible girl would go for a guy that acts so immature. I think I am just in a bad mood today, guys. I get frustrated at people that do not care about Judiaism except on the superficial level. yehivah boys shuckling while they daven and then watch superbad… supposed frum guys commenting on this blog with no tact at all. Reformers destroying the yiddishkiet Conservitives that destroy the yiddishkiet, Orthodox that destroy the Yiddishkeit! do you think that Reb Akiva’s students where sneaking in porn and masterbating and then bragging about it?! Or laughing and joking about other Yids violating Torah!? back then Talmud Torah was a serious thing, back then before the degradation that is this hodgepodge society, what is crazy — Is– I know christians that are way more moral than many average yeshivah boys. that should never be. we should be a light to them. we should teach the wisdom of the torah to them. becuase all there morality comes from the “Old Testament” as they call its anyway… and I tell you the truth as fercockted as christians doctrine is at least there youth are taking a stand against immorality, and our youth are laughing and joking about it… WAKE up my Yiddish brothers and sisters. Do you want Moshiach or not!! I am almost at tears this moment I don’t know what is gotten in to me like this. I am saying this to myself as well, it is time we all go to the next level.. ALL of us.. everyone. Myself most included. We all need to Guard the Torah as if the World is trying to ripp it out of our hands. Which it is!!! but now instead of pograms ghettos and murders, it is creeping in by putting our head into its lap singing us to sleep like Delilah and Shimshon, before you know it your hair is gone, nazirite!! powerless useless, an empty shell of what was!! I say we need to take a stand against these demons and our yetzer hora because its trying to destroy us!!! destroy the Yiddishkeit!! destroy the Torah!! thank G-d Yom Kipper is coming up pretty soon i and all of us need it!! I am sorry I am writing so long but this is just how i feel, i am sure i will get a bunch of people that think i am acting “holier than thou” but its not true i am just as upset with my self, because I need to study more and daven more and daven with sincerity and help bring Moshiach here!!

  • Gila

    Men who masturbate to porn hurt no one but themselves.

    Men who rape little girls ruin innocent lives.

    How can you possibly equate the two?

  • BT girl

    meanwhile, my coworkers send me this today: http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-is-oral-sex-the-new-bar-mitzvah-present/

    looks like this is a popular topic these days

  • FrumGer

    You are wrong, every sin commited in this world affects everyone in this world. the man that buys porn or goes on a website and gives that website a “CLICK” is sending money to the porn ind. which in turn continues the degradation, because they make more- do to its popularity. it puts money in the pockets of the actors them selves that- in turn ruin there life by doing more of this horrable thing for money. as well as ruin other lives by people becoming addicted, and marriages that suffer by it. women cutting their body all up because they feel useless and ugly because this unattainable status that porn gives. the treatment of women like sex slaves as pron exibits… I venture to say no porn star is truelly deeply down proud of what they do, they just silence that inner voice with tons of drugs and money. you ruin there life and their future generations life by paying them for there service. just like you ruin the childs life or the partners life when you cause them to sin. by purchasing porn you are infact saying an Amen to the porn star and producer that gets paid for it. that is telling them I like what you do keep doing it!! how is that not ruining their life? a lot of the porn industry is run by Jewish people and that is putting- as it were, a stumbling block in front of them… so really no, not on a surface level you are not directly affecting another person physically like you do with pedo. or homo. but on a deeper level yes– absolutly you are affecting someones life. what about masterbation with out porn?? you might ask?? it is the same, because it is affecting your childrens life down four generations. Demons. Curses are not superstition!! what you don’t believe in evil spirits? you don’t believe in evil forces?Torah says they exist!!! Yetzer hora exists Curses are real!!! Hello??!! negitive forces in the world are very real… wasting your seed is just as bad period, one way or another it comes back to destroy. your children could struggle with the same yetzer hora you do because sin gets passed on… like a alcoholic (sp?) having a son that grows up to be an alcoholic (sp?) some say it’s learned behavior… maybe on the surface, but I think it is how the Torah says- it is a sin, a curse passed down. Stop putting levels on sin!! Do not add or take away from the Torah!!! they all have the same penalty, the Judge of the Universe says they are just as bad, they hurt just as much, You are not G-d!!! you are not the Judge!!! G-d Equates the two. Not ME!!! you can change and water down Torah all you want, but guess what- Adding or subtracting from the Torah is JUST AS BAD as homosexuality or pedophilia… according to the Torah! Sounds Crazy- Extreme? Guess what- the Torah is Extreme!! what you are saying and thinking— is A Secular Goyishe psychological mindset. because our society says pedophilia is “bad”, and violating the shabbos is not as “bad”, than we think interms of those levels… Thats a bunch of Drek!! Think on the level the Torah does… Look how G-d (the only opinion that matters mind you) views this…

  • Telzer

    I will try to re-focus here:

    Reb Phil asserted that “This [topic of Bar Mitvah ministrations] is the bi-product of having openly gay and lesbian rabbis. When you start mixing s*x with religion, you get this novel idea for a bar mitzva gift.

    i.e.: Gay Rabbis = juvenile sexual misdeeds.

    I mused that Rabbis who molest young men qualify under this analysis as triggers for bar mitzva gifts in their communities as well.

    Phil would be forced to admit then that this practice of Bar Mitzvah hijinks occurs in those communities with the same frequency.

  • A. Nuran

    I apologize, Phil.

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Heshy Fried

    Frum Ger – thank you for your comments – but due to the fact you dont separate your paragraphs I doubt anyone will ever read them – please be mindful of folks who wish to read but need some breaks

  • FrumGer

    Sorry Heshy, I will Work on that… also sorry for the long posts, I just seem to tangent a great deal when I am passionate about something…. I will try to cut them down as well.

    But if I cant- I will at least separate the paragraphs from now on

    thanks for the advice.

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    Telzer,

    Growing up in a yeshiva environment, most kids had no idea what a BJ was at bar mitzva. The few that did, only new from magazines they were able to get a peek at every now and then.

    Even kissing girls is extremely rare for yeshiva boys that age, it usually doesn’t happen before mid to late teens for the OTD guys, and not before marriage for the frummies.

    No way anyone is going to convince me that this is going on at normal bar mitzvas, I had trouble believing that it goes on at non religious or reform ones.

    Back to their so called rabbis and orientaions, when a reform temple comes out with a statement about the orientaion of their rabbi, they have just opened the door to all sorts of questions about s*xuality to all the teen and pre-teen kids that are part of their membership.

    This sort of thing is unheard of in yeshiva kids of the same age, the explicit gemara parts are usually skipped until a later age.

    So it isn’t as surprising when a reform kid knows the difference between gays, heteros and l*sbians at age 9 or 10, then by the time he’s Bar mitzva, you get this type of thing going on.

    As for the hypocrite leader of the movement, if he has no problem hiring c*ck suckers as rabbis, why is he worried about it going on at bar mitzvas?

    The kids can make the same kal vachomer: If the so called rabbis can give head, why shouldn’t we? After all, don’t we preach egality and understanding of all humans?

  • FrumGer

    For once it seems Phil and I Totally Agree about something
    though the Langauge he uses has a little less tactful what I would consider than neccessary or relevant…

  • FrumGer

    Tactfulness// Sorry

  • Chris_B

    FrumGer,

    I actually try and read your posts. To add to what Heshy said, the lack of paragraph breaks, the homonyms which are in fact spelling errors and the very odd punctuation make me feel like I’m listening to one the guys in the park who are having loud conversations with people no one else can see.

  • Telzer

    Dunno, Chris, Sounded like Joan Rivers to me (sorry, all the exclamation points were used up)

  • FrumGer

    Sorry guys for all the SP’s I def. am not the best speller or writer in the world I am in “NowheresVille” without a ABC/Grammer checker.. I will try to work on it.
    I try to write as I would talk so it would more conversational i guess, just as we make blunders as we talk so do I as I write.. I’ll work on that as well.
    Telzer I sound like Joan Rivers?
    My use of Exclamations too much?
    Like Mark Twain Said,” using an exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke..” Tu che’ Telzer.. I will work on that.

    Monotone writing from here on out- I promise !!
    (oops sorry guys)
    i mean, “from here on out .”

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    Frumger,

    I prefer comical descriptive terms to politically correct scientific ones, y’all should be used to that by now.

  • FrumGer

    Right, because Homosexual “Rabbaim” is SOOOO hillarious. I mean describing a man performing a terrible shandeh on another man, Hey now that’s just good humour I don’t care who you are… what was I thinking? I must be mishuganeh.

  • Parent in NY can blow me

    The problem with frum girls is that they don’t swallow unless you give them mussar about wasting seed and the semen chasing them through the halls of the big beis medrish in the sky – then they are more willing.

  • FrumGer

    “Parent in NY can )))))) Me ”

    that is halachicaly incorrect..
    ejaculation outside the female reproductive organ is assur, and you are a pervert that has no life, no class, and definatly no respect for women..
    you probably don’t even have a women.

    And if you do have a women you are not saying that infront of her.

    and if you are saying that infront of her and she is still with you that is only because she has no self esteem at all..

    Sorry to all the women that read this blog, all men are not a bunch of chazzer drek like this shmoo… there are some with a little class and respect.

  • Sergeant J

    Phil, the only people that seem ok with allowing rabbis that suck 12 yr old c*ck are “frum” ravs… and again, for hating such things, you seem to looove to talk about it…

  • DR. GUTS

    Frum Ger,

    The reform movement is sad. They are raised in a secular society, totally removed from a belief of divine reward and punishment.

    How can someone raised not to believe in divine assistance possibly believe in G-d?

  • http://welcomebalance.blogspot.com s(b.)

    Here’s the real question — how do we teach our young girls to value themselves and their bodies and what they choose to share of it with others, other than telling them not to do it and enforcing gender separation?

  • FrumGer

    Dr. Guts,

    I totally agree..

    S(b)-
    if you teach your children to love G-d with all their mind soul and strength and that they turelly have a higher “calling” in life, they will. listen plenty of christian girls are moral and modest, look at many mormon families and evangelical christians too.
    It has to do with teaching them, and really if the father shows his girls the proper love they deserve usually they will have a good head on the shoulders and not seek it out from other men.. if the father is absent in their life beit divorce or being workaholic or just being cold and won’t show affection to his daughter The girl will 9 times out of 10 will be jaded, and have lots problems and insecurities..

    I always say it like this, the father should be the daughters only “boyfriend” until she gets a shaduch. Meaning he should be her source of finacial, emotional, and physical security. a girl will feel pretty if the father will tell her she is, and she will not be seeking every other guys approval. a girl should be able to cry in Ta’tes arms and she will not need to cry in some random guys.

    A girl should be a daddy’s girl, this is normal. this breeds normal girls. the most straight forward confident women I have ever know ador their father. i mean confident , not butch or aggressive, that is a sign of a lack of confidence.

    The father role is a mirror of the G-d role in the house. a Girl gets her image of how G-d is mostly from the father. this is a proven fact. for good or bad. “So fathers be good to your daughters..” that is how you get girls to respect theirselves..

    Sarge J- you are a pervert mouth and no one is backing anyone doing anything to any children! all men are accountable to hashem and he will judge fairly.. and I think a lot of people frum or not want to talk about a very real dangerous subject that needs not be shuffled to the background!!

  • http://welcomebalance.blogspot.com s(b.)

    that reads very nicely; I don’t put it all on dads, though. re: sex, my dad said “don’t do it,” and that didn’t work very well (but there were other things going on, so I can’t draw from my childhood as an example, unfortunately). I think mothers model behavior, too, and there should be something they can do to cultivate self-respect among their daughters (per above), too. I’m wondering what (despite her best efforts, my mom wasn’t always well, when I was a kid, and some of that important stuff simply didn’t get conveyed). What did I miss? I learned it many years later, but it took a long time. If I were to have a daughter of my own, how could I make sure I don’t miss telling her important stuff like that because my own mother wasn’t well enough to teach it to me, at the time?

  • http://www.kidneykid.com Little Pom’s Mom

    Heshy: My kid would NEVER tell me that she’d given a BJ. But she would tell me if one of her friends did…I know, cuz it’s happened. (NOT a Jewish friend and NOT at a Bar Mitzvah)

    Everyone else: WOW…wonder what Hashem thinks of the hateful language being directed at Reform Jews. Regardless of how right you may believe yourself to be, when one stoops to vulgar language and base insults, you demean your own position, and defame the very G-d you think you’re speaking for.

    You wanna tell me what you think of Reform? Fine. I’ll gladly listen. But do it with a clean vocabulary and a heart of love- not the bile spewing verbal violence you’re currently dishing out.

  • http://welcomebalance.blogspot.com s(b.)

    don’t let ‘em get to you, lpm. do what’s right for you in your heart.

  • Pillar26

    No. Wait. Seriously, a blogger quotes an anonymous grandmother and that translates to an absolute truth that the young ladies of the reform movement are swallowing up the next generation? REALLY? And the so-called link to Eric Yoffie as confirming this nonsense is just inane at best and just plain deceitful at worst.

    I understand that folks here feel like the Reform movement is but this story is wildly grabbing at unsucked straws that don’t exist.

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    Little Pom’s mom,

    You’re absolutely right. What was I thinking. I should have given these reform chicks the benefit of the doubt.

    Being that the movement is egalitarian, they must have been practicing the metzitza skills as part of their mohel training ;)

  • FrumGer

    I was waiting for someone to put that joke out there..

    should have figured it would be phil.

    In my useless opinion,
    All metzitza Bpeh should be done with a glass tube, Herpes, herpes, herpes!!! I get the joke… i got it when i thought of it. i’m suprised it took three days for one you guys to put it out there.

    but technecally women can act as a mohel by Jewish law, there is no Law excluding women.. so Egalitarianism has nothing to do with it. though if a man is present he should do it if possible.

    Not many frum people will admit that because having a male mohel is such a strong minhag,(if you will) and to me it is preferable if at all possible to have a man, but there is no restriction set up by Jewish law, which is to me is a big surprise…

    but Hashem must not mind it because halachically speaking we Jews miss nothing.

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    FrumGer,

    The father is the one obligated to do the bris, most today appoint the mohel as a shliach. I don’t think a woman can be a shliach in this case.

    That being said, I imagine they are allowed to if no one else is there to do it.

    Seeing that you believe metzitza should be done with a tube to prevent herpes, what about BJs?

  • FrumGer

    I understand well and full the order of a brit milah, and you are right a women can be a shilach only if no man is preseant or if no man is willing to perform the Brit. Case in point- Tziporrah.
    as far as felatio, it is a foreplay method in the marriage bed only and not meant to be performed until climax. a man and women may enjoy their husbands or wives, Sex is meant to be enjoyable, even if Kosher.

    Sorry we always battle Phil…
    i’ll try to find common ground with you..

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    I’m not battling, just bloggin along.

  • Sergeant J

    FG, nice to know you are getting better with Phil’s use of language. it’s kinda cute.

  • FrumGer

    Ya I guess me too except for David I want to battle him>>>> desperatly

  • FrumGer

    Sarge J
    I just have bigger fish to fry now- David’s comment on the shuckling post..

  • Sergeant J

    Going after everything that people say here that you find moronic, or offensive, will take up more energy than you should have… Honestly, I only go after about a third of the things I find moronic or offensive, and it’s more than enough.

  • FrumGer

    You know your right SargeJ

    I am worn out…
    just imagine how the Vilna Gaon Felt….

  • Sergeant J

    You mean he would anonymously go on “holier than thou” tirades too?

  • FrumGer

    NO I mean he was constantly attacking the Hassidim made it his life goal his legacy.

    and I am not holier than thou- man I am what I am, somethings piss me off. whatever.
    tirades? sure… but I don’t think I am better than anyone, i just have a right to negate something that i think is damaging or unscrupulous.. so do you. that doesn’t make you better or me better just different.

  • Anonymous

    What’s so suprising? In Junior and High School it was a known fact, Jewish girls give the best head. Classic

  • http://www.SelectCeremony.com/barmitzvah Bar Mitzvah Photographer

    Oh me, Oh my

  • Believe It Or Not

    wow!! any1 heard of Nuchem Rosenberg who’s talking all the time about sexual activities what’s happening in the jewish/chareidi communities also has a site klafkosher.com
    sucha hypocrite pervert a tremendous bal megazem seeing everywhere he looks only Zenus! perform on the media writing in the newspapers about this travelling worldwide to alert everyone about Child Molesting! etc
    Anyway i think he can take advantage of this story he might b behind who spread these rumors(sorry for my bad Grammar)

  • FrumGer

    Believe it or not-
    Nuchem is making it up? or maybe making a bad situation out to be worse? what are you saying is going on?? Do you have this documented that what he says are lies? the website looks like he is trying to protect kids. He is not?

  • A. Nuran

    Well, given this gem from his website I think we can safely lower our expectations for the accuracy of his pronouncements:

    BECAUSE OUR KLAFIM WERE PRODUCED WITHOUT A HECHSHER, AIPLAINES ENTERED THE WORLD TRADE CENTER