How to get free food at kosher restaurants

by Heshy Fried on July 31, 2009 · 24 comments

dougies woodbourneDougies is probably the best place in the Catskills to get free food, knowing everyone that works there including the owner is probably a good thing too, but what I am talking about is leftover food. Thanks to the well known fact that frummies don’t clean up after themselves, half eaten tins of fire poppers, onion rings and french fries sit on empty tables with flies hovering around them waiting for the kill.

I know the food at Dougies kind of sucks, it used to be king of kosher food – prior to the sushi revolution, Dougies of the upper west side was packed at all hours with all types of Jews, not just the yeshivish and chassidish variety that tends to frequent it now, why do yeshivish people like shitty food so much – seriously folks, they love greasy crappy food, it drives the yeshiva system.

Well either way I decided to hit up visiting day in the Catskills to get some good fodder and I just got pissed off, I guess seeing a bunch of frummies in Woodbourne has lost its appeal since I moved to New York, when I lived upstate, I longed to see nice frummy girls in skirts and chassidim hocking on their nextels, but I did get a good video of me scavenging for free food at Dougies.

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{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }

1 FrumCurious July 31, 2009 at 11:38 AM

I saw this video – very entertaining. Now I have a hankering for onion rings.

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2 Parent in NY July 31, 2009 at 12:27 PM

You are a conceited fool and a moron.

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3 Phil July 31, 2009 at 12:29 PM

Dude,

You really need to find a better job, you’re starting to sound like a frum dumpster diver. Besides, aren’t you worried about swine flu?

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4 chevramaidel July 31, 2009 at 2:13 PM

My mother-in-law would have loved you!

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5 Jacob Da Jew July 31, 2009 at 2:53 PM

Hesh is da new FDD!

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6 ShamelessCollegeStudent July 31, 2009 at 3:09 PM

I have this burning need to let you know that I have so far one-upped you, and not only am I a novice, but I’m a girl. I leftovered myself an almost-full salmon dinner plate from a fancy dairy cafe in Montreal, wastefully discarded by a skinny chareidi woman. It was SO. GOOD. Even better because it was free and saved from a fate of waste. And of course there was the lingering sweetness of saving that woman from her sin of bal tashchis. I strongly suggest you try broadening your food scrap horizons and upping your standards, if only because you can. Rich Jews are wasteful too.

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7 Phil July 31, 2009 at 3:19 PM

This is getting to Jewish for me, anybody into ABC gum?

Seriously speaking, I remember readingthat eating a tranger’s leftovers might be assur once they’ve taken a bite out of it, check with a rav if you want to be sure.

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8 Bob July 31, 2009 at 3:22 PM

Wow how the mighty have fallen, you used to be funny sometimes, now you are usually very bitter and are actually eating garbage and you look like crap. Please get a haircut a job and start being funny again I miss you

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9 Ein Frumme Yid July 31, 2009 at 5:33 PM

Heshy,

Haven’t you heard of the new chumra that advocates eating your own waste? This way you’re not wasting time and money on food, and you can spend more of both on learning Torah.

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10 Jacob da Jew July 31, 2009 at 6:07 PM

lots of haters today, hesh. good for bidness.

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11 Heshy Fried August 1, 2009 at 11:52 PM

Jacob I hate to tell you but most of the haters come from the same IP addresses, which is very disappointing to me – because the way I figure it is the more haters, the better job I am doing.

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12 Marcos August 2, 2009 at 12:09 AM

Good stuff at a Kosher restaurant, just don’t do leftovers over nightclub / bar drinks.

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13 Bob August 2, 2009 at 1:42 AM

Oh don’t worry frum satire you have way more haters than those posting it just takes a special level of hate to prompt a post. hope that helps

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14 Ben-Yehudah August 2, 2009 at 3:50 AM

B”H

Heshy, you are in rare form!

Seriously, though, this? is a legitimate form of “urban foraging.”

You and I agree on this one whole heartedly.

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15 YIDDLE August 2, 2009 at 10:27 AM

You must have really fallen on hard times to be eating leftovers. I for one, spit on the food I leave behind and since I have hepatitis you’re taking a chance. If you shave and get a haircut maybe you can get a job and maybe even a wife to cook for you.

Is the a place we can send donations of food for you?

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16 Sergeant J August 2, 2009 at 1:02 PM

Not funny, more.. sad. Sad that people waste so much food…
Sad that people here are so childishly defensive of such waste.

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17 Schwartzie August 2, 2009 at 2:44 PM

I just realized that I hate this fucking blog, Heshy doesn’t care a damn what our tuition is he is only trying to get hits and make a sensation. He is ignorant and can not write for beans. Don’t read his post, you are only encouraging him.

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18 SERGEANT PEPPER August 2, 2009 at 4:55 PM

Of course it’s funny. Everything that Heshy Fried does in funny!

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19 Future Druggie August 2, 2009 at 5:24 PM

Professional Wedding Crasher:

Dress up in your finest; show up to any wedding hall at 10:00 p.m.; sit down at seat not taken; enjoy.

If you are Chasidish, do not do this at a Yeshivish wedding.

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20 Heshy Fried August 2, 2009 at 8:26 PM

I have a job and the only reason I am still working there besides for the very high salary and commissions is the fact I can come dressed in dirty clothing, unshaven and my boss has long hair and likes the fact mine will be pony tale soon.

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21 miss manners August 2, 2009 at 10:47 PM

Hard to beleive that someone that looks as unkempt and scruffy as you could be employed. As a shnorer?

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22 Bsamim Smoker August 3, 2009 at 10:08 AM

C’mon Heshy you and I go way back,we both know this is way below your standards,youve cross the line major on this one.What’s next eating out of dumps?

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23 Heshy Fried August 3, 2009 at 10:24 AM

Well actually dumpster diving is one of my favorite past times.

Miss Manners I work in inside sales and do quite well for myself, and I am enjoying this unkempt look immensely – besides that was filmed during the 3 weeks

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24 yeshiva dude August 3, 2009 at 8:15 PM

Although eating leftovers may be disgusting and improper, I must confess to doing it on occasion as well. The habit sstarted in Israel with my friends who couldn’t believe the amount of food left over and wasted by people sitting there basically untouched. In fact, I believe many yeshiva guys do this or at least wish they had the balls to.

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