ChabadMatch.com has officially taken over the title as most judgmental and ridiculous dating site on the web. Upon clicking to sign up, it asks if you are Chabad or a Friend of Chabad, parents can sign their sons/daughters up or you can sign yourself up.
If you sign up as a single, you can feel like you are a terrorist being interogated, the questions are many and very detailed. I always thought that as a chabadnick you just somehow got hooked up with the local shaliachs daughter, but based on this site that may not be the case.
The first thing I noticed was the option within the types of yarmulke drop down menu for a Yechi yarmulke. Thank God Frumster only asks you the frequency of learning because Chabad Match asks you about what exactly you are learning, I guess gemara makes no difference but Chitas means the world.
Describe the singles beard had me laughing, full, trimmed, shaven or picked (does picked mean you get food stuck in it and are constantly picking it out?) Or is picked like afro style?
My absolute favorite was the drop down menu for Meshichists to describe their feelings towards the Lubavitcher Rebbe being moshiach. The choices include nuetral, anti, not an issue, quite meshichist or yechi – now can someone tell me what the difference is between quite meshichist and yechi?
Do you watch movies? Only rented, actually go to the theater or both? One would think that if one watches movies in the theater its a pretty good kal vachomer that they watch rented movies…
The funny thing is there’s more…the drop down menus just keep on coming.
Do you only drink on shabbos or fabrengins? But drinking at fabrengins means you may drink every night…
What about your body type, Frumster has average, slim, athletic and few extra pounds. Chabad Match has 4 different categories for fat, a few extra pounds, stocky, husky and large – what the difference between all of these is beyond me, but calling people fat, large or obese is not PC anymore, so we use code words. Does that mean that telling “your mommas so fat jokes” are uncalled for as well?
In the personality traits section there is a choice for “high maintanence” who on earth would pick this? Oh and under the amount of children you have section – the drop down menu goes up to 20 kids. If you have 20 kids I highly doubt you are trying to get married eh?