The NAAJP (national association for the advancement of Jewish People) announced a lawsuit against several orthodox wedding halls around the New York area today, citing that the segregation of secular relatives and guests at ultra orthodox weddings at what is known as the non-frummy tables.
Orthodox weddings typically have one or two tables reserved for their non-observant relatives or co-workers, these tables tend to be put off to the side since many of the women are scantily clad and showing their elbows, the men typically wear white pointed yarmulkes to help waiters discriminate against the people sitting on these tables to try and serve them faster so they should take a hint and just leave.
“Separate but equal” does not apply in these situations according to Gitty McKinley president of the NAAJP. She went on to say that these non-frummy tables were similar in vain to schnorrer tables, but always had inadequate amounts of food, no views of the dance floor and lacked the free prayer books or yarmulkes commonly left on the tables at orthodox Jewish weddings.
According to many folks, the economy has forced wedding planners to scale back on expenses and the first thing to go were the non-frummy tables. “We just didn’t feel it necessary to give folks yarmulkes and benchers if they are never going to use them” said Yankel “Toofrumforyou” Finelburgerstien. Yankel went on to say that many leading Rabbis have proposed a ban on secular people from eating at weddings because they would go and eat at Sizzler afterwards anyway.
Although an all out ban on non-shomer shabbos relatives and guests at orthodox weddings has been raised, many Rabbonim feel that this would greatly reduce the amount of gifts recieved by struggling young couples – since secular Jews are most probably wealthy and have traditional Jewish jobs like doctors and lawyers, while their orthodox brethren in the real estate and insurance fraud industries are hurting with the housing crisis.
Other complaints from secular Jews being seated at the non-frummy tables have been noted. Lack of a pickle tray is most common while no choice between chicken and beef has also been spotted. Many complaints about schnorrers being treated better than the non-orthodox relatives have also been recorded.
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{ 63 comments… read them below or add one }
YIKES
I wonder what they do with the non-Jewish relatives?
Or are they just not invited? Heh
Nice try Hesh but this is WAY to unbelievable to be believable.So unless you could qoute your sources Im not buying it.Anyone else share my feelings?
They should just have a big orgy after dessert!
Very cute.
I kind of like the idea of having a non-hariedi table.That way I know where all the hot chicks are. If they were intermingled with the hariadim I would never get a word in edgwize before getting a mouthfull from one of the bubies.
Bsamin smoker – I hope you were joking with your first comment
funny; bsmoker, this is obviously pure parody. And I cringe at the thought of a mouthful of anything from a bubbie; even my own. Eek.
Oh, you meant on a fork. lol. My bub’s at the age where we say the airplane fork’s going to feed her, if she doesn’t want to eat. She knows we’re joking.
No, actually I wasn’t Hesh.Please quote your sources. It sounds too outrageously stupid to be true,even by strict hariedi standards.
Whats next?Putting a ski mask on the kallah because the vail is not tznius enough?
I have a policy of not going to weddings that have separate seating.
“Whats next?Putting a ski mask on the kallah because the vail is not tznius enough?”
You could have a hostage crisis themed wedding.
Hesh, I recently attended a MO wedding where the MO relatives were seated near the dance floor, and the Yeshivish relatives were stuffed all the way in the back near the wall, with no view of the dance floor.
The Kallah and her friends exposed their chests, necks, backs, arms, and did not wear underwear beneath the skin-tight outfits.
Obviously, the Yeshivish people stuck out like sore thumbs.
It works both ways.
Yochanon – I would be game as long as Chuck Norris came with some hot IDF girls
Former Teacher
Are you sure you wern’t at the bunny ranch?
Former Teacher
So was the orgy after Kabbals Punim or before the chuppah?Moray Vraboysay this is the reason wer still in galus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lakewood machmir
The fact that you are so intersted in an orgy-that does not make you sound too frum!
No offense-perhaps you change your user name from lakewood machmir to lake wood something else
Half of your posts makes you sound really frum- Example: “That’s why we are in galus”
“So was the orgy after Kabbals Punim or before the chuppah”-i’m sorry for saying this but you r satement about an orgy makes you sound like a bit of a pervert!
Shtat af n ort(it says quite clearly)in the sefarin Hockidoyshim(in the holy books) that you can make fun of Avoydah Zarah.Modern Orthodox is efsher Avoydah Zara D’rabanan.
Former teacher, they may have just been wearing microfiber panties (no panty lines).
So Hesh are you avoiding my challenge?
L.M. – Modern Orthodox is efsher Avoydah Zara D’rabanan.
And you’re an idiot d’everything. That’s utterly ridiculous!
Lakewood MAchmir
You haven’t answered my question of why you had to mention the comment “So was the orgy after Kabbals Punim or before the chuppah”
Maybe I misunderstood your intent over there but the statement is really inappropriate.It is like why don’t you go into graphic details about sex to tell everyone how bad it is-I’m sorry if you want you should speak in more clean lishonos-I am sorry if i am sounding overly critical!
im with mark on this one!
If you don’t like me come to Lakewood and say it to my face.You won’t will you.Cause you know deep down your wrong!!
If you don’t like me come to Lakewood and say it to my face.You won’t will you.Cause you know deep down your wrong!
If yu don’t like me come to Lakewood and say it to my face.You won’t will you.Cause you know deep down your wrong!
I think former teacher is saying they weren’t dressed tznius, even by modern standards.
“Bsamim Smoker // May 20, 2009 at 11:25 am
Nice try Hesh but this is WAY to unbelievable to be believable.So unless you could qoute your sources Im not buying it.Anyone else share my feelings?”
This comment made me laugh out loud! Seriously!
I find this blog very amusing and it saddens me that the humor is wasted on so many people.
“Modern Orthodox is efsher Avoydah Zara D’rabanan.”
Do you know what avoda zara is?
(Hint: disagreeing with you doesn’t make someone an oved avoda zara.)
I was at a wedding where the women showed their elbows. It was scandalous and strangely arousing too.
L.M. If you don’t like me come to Lakewood and say it to my face.You won’t will you.Cause you know deep down your wrong!!
Why would you think we don’t like you? It’s true that we disagree with you, but there is no way for me to tell if I would like you or not. I like and respect lots of people out there that I disagree with, even some that I vehemently disagree with.
One thing that you need to learn is that everyone, every single yid on the planet observes a certain level of mitzvot. For example, both you and I currently do not observe the great mitzvah of living in Eretz Yisrael.
Both deep down and on the surface, and everywhere in between, I am right.
Great post, Heshy.
p.s.
mark,
Why don’t you just ignore fakewood machmir. He is clearly just a pathetic troll with nothing better to do than aggravate people on the internet.
a non jew who was at my wedding actually complained that he was a mixed table. He had been to a frum wedding before and quite enjoyed not sitting with his wife.
BS
I was at a wedding where the bride wore a veil that was so thick that I doubt she could see at all… she we lead everywhere by her parents.
But in their personal life they are normal people (work, appreciation of good music and food etc)
I was at one a few months back where I and the guests saw as much of the Kallah as the chossen was going to see that night. I don’t know what she was thinking wearing that dress that barely covered anything. Even the half dressed guests showed less.
I was at one of those weddings where I couldn’t help but state and oogle the half dressed women. Since if was of course a mixed seating affair I sure got in a lot of trouble with the wife for oogling her cousins. She didn’t buy it when I told her that these women dressed that way to be oogled. I was so busy looking that I forgot to eat.
I was at a wedding where the women showed their elbows. It was scandalous and strangely arousing too.
This is too funny. i cant read anything on this website without laughing. Finally relig. ppl with a sense of humor about their fellow frummies. I wanna find out if this is for real.. what happens if you got a nonjewish grandma .. does she have to sit by herself?
oogling? bwahhhaa
Of course I don’t put benchers on the non-frummy tables at our simchas. Who knows what they’d do with them?
Hesh, I like it, you’re kinda moving over to “The Onion” style with this… No?
I would like to ask mechilah from everyone who I offended in the post.My cavanah was strictly Lasham Shamayim.Rebbe Akiva had 24,000 students and they all died for not respecting one another.
I know I have offended a lot of people on this post. To tell you the trth I’m not the biggest tzadik myself.Let me tell you guys a story:When I was in 8th grade there was this kid in our class.You know a real modernisha othrodox kid:Artscroll gemarah,kippah serugah etc…the works.Akitzur, me and anouther yeshivishah guy decided you have fun with this kid. So the next time we saw this kid in the hallway we grabbed his yamikah and started playing frizbee with it. When we finally came to our senses(a few mounths later) we begged the kid michilah but it was too late.The kid not only went off the derech, but became gothic rachmanah litzlan.
Ha ha ha! We are getting married in Oct and there will be so many goyim & non-observants there that it would be impossible to have a few special tables for them. But, ahh the schnorrers. I’m really hoping we get a few and I asked my videographer to keep an eye…that would be a YouTube classic.
As someone who generally sits at the non-frummy table, this really made me laugh
I always want to sit at the non-frummy table, but I always get seated at one of those tables that have 3 of the same number.
ome other tables that ALWAYS SUCK:
1.Singles table(at separate seat weddings)
2.Friends-of -the -chosan/kallah table
3.the rent-a-crowd table (usually found at: out of town,old couple or BT weddings)
4.non-black-velvet-yarmulke table(sure ,I know the guy cause were both not in kollel?right)
this post reminds me of a story my mom told me about a chasanah she went to when she was single, all the kallah’s friends sat at a table in the back and were trated like 2nd class citizens,when she complained about it she was told that all frum wedding were like that in order to “motivate” the girls to get married(this was back in the 70s
What he brought, re “making fun of Avoda Zara,” one source is:
??? ?? ???? ?? ??????? ????? ?? ???????? ?????? ???
??????? ??,?
“rav Nachman said, All mockery is forbidden, besides mockery of Avoda Zara” (Talmud, Sanhedrin 63b)
That was me, sorry the Hebrew characters couldn’t come out as well..
WARNING DO NOT READ SPAM ALERT!!!!
I was at a wedding and the father and father-in-law banged the bride under the canopy
Definitely the best table to be at
Celebrity-Rabbi table.First class service, served first, and who knows you might even get a bracha at the end of benching
One thing I dislike about weddings bumping into people that you really don’t want to talk to.Like your 11th grade rebbe who will inevitably ask you the token qustion:”So nu what are you doing with yourself nowdays?”anything less than shtayging away in kollel is sure to get the nebach stare.And your thinkin “rabbi just be happy I ain’t a porn star”
One thing I dislike about wedding is bumping into people you really don’t want to talk to.Like your 11th grade rebbi.You know he’ll ask the token question:”Nu what are you doing with your life nowdays?”Anything less than shayging away in kollel is sure to recieve the nebach stare.
and your like”listen up rabbi just be happy I ain’t a porn star”.Than there is token Uncle Bob from Chicago who came out of the closet last Pesach after 37 years of single life(everyone was wondering why he couldn’t find a shidduch).The only one who wants to talk to him is token Uncle Chiam the politician”I wear a black hat but Im open minded”
.Than there is token Uncle Bob from Chicago who came out of the closet last Pesach after 37 years of single life(everyone was wondering why he couldn’t find a shidduch).The only one who wants to talk to him is token Uncle Chiam the politician”I wear a black hat but Im open minded”
Than of course the famous kollel v learning discussions, MO guys thiks he’s discovered somthing new when he asks”Well were do these guys get their money from after 3 kids?” and Old black hat guy who is mechadesh”threse no cratzing arround in my family I pulled my son out of Mir when he was 18 ein kemach ain torah!!!”
Celebrity Rabbi table rocks
Heshy, I bet you could do a whole post about the different wedding tables!! Heck, you could probably do a whole sketch about it.
Classic post! For me the kicker was near the end, “their orthodox brethren in the real estate and insurance fraud industries”.
Former Teacher,
“The Kallah and her friends exposed their chests, necks, backs, arms, and did not wear underwear beneath the skin-tight outfits.”
You checked? as s(b) said, modern technology has solved the VPL problem.
The orgy deal kinda piqued my interest.
Jack writes:
I was at a wedding where the women showed their elbows. It was scandalous and strangely arousing too.
I was at an all-nude wedding and came within an inch of being the best man.
VPL – Visible Panty Line
very funny