Hey Heshy,
I’m so glad that you liked this parody I wrote, which was inspired by Your amazing Mikvah night comedy video. Somehow I am not surprised that you own this album, it’s definitely a classic (after Ace of Base).
I can’t wait to hear the Yeshiva Boyz Choir cover it 
Mikvah Night
by Eti
Parody of I’ll Make Love to You by Boyz II Men
(Here’s a link to the music:)
Take a dunk, count to three
And get ready for tonight
For tonight is Mikvah Night
It feels like Ecstasy, all through the night
Pour the shnaps, throw the petals
Girl Ill give you everything
Candles smell like besamim
I want to hold your hand
Girl you know what I mean
Chorus:
Ill get to know you
Like were told to do
And like Friday night
Babies will start to cry
Ill get to know you
Like were told to do
And I will not let go
Til the Rav says to
Girl relax, were alone
Shayna Bracha’s now out cold
I’mjust gonna play Heshy’s CD
Girl, are you hungry? Cuz I bought sushi tonight
Throw your robe on the floor
I’m gonna take my crocks off too
We’ve made plans to have a date
Girl, for night Seder, I cannot be late
Chorus
Baby tonight, it just fits
Hope for kid number six
Though we cannot have passion
Anything that you ask
I will give you a happy Mikvah Night, your night.
Chorus
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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
Sounds like a SNL skit.
I liked it a lot
Geez lol. I know when it’s my “time” I am NOT in the mood for love making. In fact, I think guys should be THANKFUL that they’re not going near me then lol. I’m in pain, and it’s the best I can do to be civil…enjoying myself? bah! lol I don’t get what the big thing is, why guys make such a big deal out of it…maybe cuz you’re still single, lol…or maybe it’s me, because I’m still single.
The months when I’m throwing up… yeah, I think a man would be glad I’m forbidden.
I didn’t like it
Yet again, another completely ASSININE attempt at perverted humor.
perverted humor or are you a pervert?
What a schmuck – what would you call a good attempt – or is it not possible in your mind>?
Yes! This is the way men are. They can be total jerks the rest of the month, but Mikva night you will see miracles – they will do anything you ask!!!
It’s like Afikomen time for women.
That was yet a ANOTHER, yet expected, response.
You mean u don’t know what appropriate humor that won’t get you a front row seat in hell and is choti the rabbim is??
Give me an F’ing break.
You’ve been ignored since you got married.
Your husband acts like he don’t care.
What you say is unimportant,
Because life ain’t ever fair.
You love nature and the sun,
Because in life that’s all that’s free,
But on mikva night you’re special,
Just you wait and see.
Shmuck, if you don’t like it, don’t read it. Better yet, bring it to your rabbi and have Frum Satire put on cherem. Or are you not allowed to use the internet, so you don’t want to do so?
This is amazing!! Men are stupid!!!!
hahahaha. take a dunk.
WOW!!! what great lyrics to the perfect song, I’m amazed!
Keep it up, bro!
Unfortunately, I can’t watch the video from Europe. Could someone repost / unblock it?
I love it Hesh keep up the good work.
Is there anyway I can go to the Mikvah then have sex with my boyfriend?My rabbi said I can’t until I get married.Ah hello has anyone ever hear of Pelegesh?I didn’t go to BY and sem for nothing!
Adeena Zoo – You think we get special treatment then? No way, because we’ve all been told that while the husband is not allowed to force us, it’s a big sin to withhold from him, especially on mikvah night. So he knows it’s coming to him.
wow that is the most sexist thing i”ve ever heard. it’s a sin to not have equal rights – rabbis are perverted! sounds like hot porn. woman “can’t say no.” blah. people are sheeps.
Another severe problem with this post is that it has a link to a music video which according to the rules of sefirah cannot be listened to!
grow a penis, seriously. a rule that does not allow the voice of women to be heard? orthodox men definitely have small penises, it seems. orthewise, you wouldn’t be so concerned with allowing women to have equal rights.
and also, it doesn’t hurt to use your brain either.
Throw in a lyric about sheitles and you’ve got a hit!
(or maybe replace robe w. sheitle – Throw your sheitle on the floor…)
Horny but frum:
You don’t need to mikvah IN a mikvah, you can do it in a large body of water such as an ocean; it just needs to be mostly natural water.
Or if you insist on sanitary conditions, you could “travel together” and make a mikvah stop “en route”, ie in a city where you are not known. Make sure you wear something on your head, though.
LilMissGer
Good Post.Just wanted to point out a few things.You dont Mikvah in a mikvah you toyvel ina mikvah.Mikvah is a noun.
Tevy…LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sheitel is funny as Hell! (According to What a Shmuk is the place Hesh and I and the rest of y’all are headed.)
I’m tellin his Rabbi he is on the ‘net. ha ha!
Wait. Then he will join us there.
Talk about torment!