I am sure many of you have been on dates when the girl tried the half wallet pull, this is at the point of paying when they pretend that they have your back and make one of those half assed attempts at pretending they never thought in a million years you would pay for them.
The half wallet pull is usually accompanied by a fake surprised smile and awkward comment about how nice it was for you to take them out. Most guys respond with an of course, I usually respond with something different if the girl is cool. If she’s just decent I do the regular old “no problem” and suck it up – but if the girl was actually worth it – I always comment on how it was worth it or the sort.
I always wonder if these women are actually surprised, or is it just one of those things that women have to do? Also has anyone ever taken a girl up on her offer to pay? As much as I talk about this chivalrous subject I have only taken a girl up on her offer several times, and never on the first date.
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I had to take her up by accident; my wallet had gotten soaked from an accidental trip through the washer earlier in the day. I had put my ID back in my wallet but forget cash and credit cards. Oops!!
I do it mainly to be nice and just so it doesn’t seem like I was expecting him to pay. If a guy took me up on it, however, of course I would follow through and pay but… he would probably loose major points in my book.
However, I’ve never shidduch dated so I’m not even sure what women are suppose to do in that situation. Does anyone know?
I was on a date with a guy. This was so long ago, 2002, May or June of 2002. When we picked Applebees (note this was back when I wasn’t keeping kosher yet.) I said, “yes, that’s a good date restaurant, because this is a date…”
So, the bill comes and he asks me, “do you have money? Aren’t you going to pay your half?” On a first date… After he kept calling for more dates and I would say, “sorry, I can’t AFFORD that.” So he would offer to pay to rent a movie at his place. Oh, no, I was not having that on a second date. Plus, he should have gotten the hint. Incidently, I didn’t pay anything for the date. I told him I didn’t have any money on me because I thought that it was a date but, it was a lie. I actually had a wallet I was just ticked.
Michal you sure that wasn’t me Nah I’m only half joking…
Nope, Ive never merited to see this man
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FYI to guys, girls don’t like you more just because you pay more for them. If you’re taking them out somewhere expensive enough on the first 3 or 4 dates that this becomes an issue, you’re making a mistake for other reasons. Stick to coffee, museum etc and pay $3 for her drink. If she insists on a nice restaurant for the first few dates don’t bother with her, she’s a bad catch anyway.
And to girls, if you want to signal to a guy that you’re not a JAP, paying for something on a date sends a strong message that you’re not overly materialistic. It’s not required, but it’s a good message.
There was this museum I really wanted to go but the admission tickets were a bit expensive for the guy to pay for 2 of them.He was a little reluctant to go at first as a result. So I offered to pay for my own ticket and that alone was enough to convince him to take me. My point being is I really wanted to go to this museum and I was willing to take any measures to go there. Even if I had to shell out some money from my own wallet.My date did ask me where I wanted to go after all.
Never was an issue. I always paid, but I don’t think I ever spent more than $25 total on a date.
(note to all girls out there complaining about the shidduch “crisis”)
after a few dates with a girl i finally too her on a date where food was involved.
went to KD.
girl paid for her meal.
I married her….
Michal – So, the bill comes and he asks me, “do you have money? Aren’t you going to pay your half?” On a first date… After he kept calling for more dates and I would say, “sorry, I can’t AFFORD that.” So he would offer to pay to rent a movie at his place. Oh, no, I was not having that on a second date. Plus, he should have gotten the hint. Incidently, I didn’t pay anything for the date. I told him I didn’t have any money on me because I thought that it was a date but, it was a lie. I actually had a wallet I was just ticked.
Ahhh, now we know why you converted. Jewish men always pay!
This guy took me to Dunkin on our 3rd date and we were both standing at the counter. I was like are you gonna get something?
He was like nah i’m not hungrey….(SILENCE)
So i go to him ok i think I WANT SOMETHING ( as to maybe he would get the hint)
He’s like ok.(silence)
So i take out my purse and start taking out my money ..
giving him one more try i go to him ok what should i get?Are you sure you dont want anyhting?
He just says no thanks!
Ovioly there were other things that bothered me about him but I didnt see him again
The Law – did you marry her because she paid?
Gevalt.
Such a sorry state in the dating world.
best line ive ever heard (albeit second-ear)
“Do you really need a MEDIUM?”
so my hubbie is a total cheapskate. i knew that when i married him.we rarely ate out on dates. i was totally fine with that. when we were almost engaged i really wanted to go to wolf n lamb. he said sure. i was in shock that he would go somewhere expensive. and then we get there and he didnt order anything. i relished my steak. yum.
To: The Law
It sounds like love at first bite.
Shabbat Shalom
I don’t see why guyz always have to pay…i’d be happy to pay sometimes…and drive….
I have not seen that move before but I must say that there was one lady I dated who when I went to pay for us to ice skate she tried to negotiate the price down for me. It was so cute too.
Why the h ell should guys have to pay for women. They love all the feminist sh ite about being equal but they still expect the men to pay for them. You cant have it both ways. If we gonna pay for you then we can let the doors slam in your faces too. And to h ell with putting the toilet seat down. Hypocrites.
Chraam – you sound like you have some resentment for women. What difference does it make to you. Treat them nice and then you can get in bed with them ; )
something my father taught me… when dinner is over, thank the young man very nicely for a lovely dinner, then when the check comes, go powder your nose