We were in the front seat of my car staring at each other in a loving way, I wasn’t sure who would make the first move. I had never really done this before and as many of you know the first time is always awkward , especially in the tight confines of a 1992 Camry. Would the memory last forever? Or would I be constantly reminded of the cold and dark feeling of the crammed corners on that wind swept and snowy night.
My car was parked away from everyone for privacy, marking that momentous event and my partner and I did not care to be disturbed. I gently caressed her on all sides, and shivered as I wiped the wetness from my hands on to the seat cushions. She was cold as well, but shivering reminded us of what we were about to do.
Just do it, my mind screamed and yet my hands, fully caressing her contours could not bring myself to actually take the plunge. I shivered, stared out the window and then back at her lovingness. Finally I decided it was now or never.
I grabbed my utensil and dug deep into her creamy insides. It felt good all over and I was reminded of a warm summer night many years back when I had first met her, when I realized that there was life after Haagen Daaz, that was when Ben, Jerry and I formed a lasting relationship, and this was the my first pint, my virgin whole pint in one sitting and felt great.
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
So disturbing and awesome at the same time, hahaha
I wonder how long it will take before the “this is a family…ish site” comments come flooding in
I read this already except it was talking about a tongue piercing.
I don’t think I’ll ever look at Ben & Jerry’s the same way again… Ironic that you chose that brand, just a few days after both Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert used them for humorous purposes after Vermont legalized gay marriage.
What did I crave? Soy. Big time. As an ashkenazi vegetarian, protein is hard to come by on Pesach.
Turkey Hill is cheaper and better than B & J… But I like real Pizza more…
Barbecued pork ribs.
What did I crave? Soy. Big time.
I read last week that the p’sak on not eating kitniyot on Pesach only applies to those items that were defined as kitniyot when the gezeira was put in place. That does not include soybeans (which were specifically mentioned). Of course, I can’t find the link anymore.
So far, the only chametz that I had tonight was a beer.
Doh! A Beer. A chametz beer, Ray, what comes from lazer guns.. Me, the guy, who drinks the beer, far, the distance I would run.. So, I can have lots more beer, la….ger or ale I hold dear, tea, no thanks I should steer clear, and drink till I say “Doh!”..
It wasn’t much of a beer, just some Miller 64 (nasty un-beer-like stuff) leftover that I had sold before Pesach and purchased last night. I should have let her keep the nasty stuff. But I definitely wanted to buy the single malt scotch. As soon as I finish the last one or two of the case, I will never buy that brand of light beer again, the Michelob Utlra Amber bock is a much better light beer!
I’ve seen it written about a toothbrush.
I absolutely stuffed myself with bread before the 1st night, but it was the lack of corn syrup that really cramped my style.
In all fairness, I’ve lost a lot of weight in the past week and I feel much better.
But last night I lost myself in a big bown of vegetable fried rice!
Bagels, man, bagels
PIZZA and BEER!!! Desperately. I had both last night and nearly went into a carb coma.
Carb Coma, or just drank lots of beer?
I gained 5 1/2 pounds over Pesach. It will take about a month to lose it.
I had a nice, cold, well deserved 750 ml Stella. I was dreaming about it since bedikas chametz.
When I tried figuring out how much weight I put on with all the matza and wine, I busted the scale. First reading showed 140, second showed 175, probably closer to the truth…
It’s hilarious the way you make it seem like you were about to be jeepin’ with a girl and yet, it was a drive for your first chametz, post Pesach….
Too bad you couldn’t enjoy the Kosher L’Pesach Ben & Jerry’s we have here in Israel…
I don’t know why I didn’t mention, my first mamish chametz was Ovaltine-so nerdy!
Ovaltine is good and healthy, not so sure about use of the term “jeepin” though…
Dunk’in Freak’in Donuts! Clever Mr. Donuts, tapes upon the glass doors crisp copies of his kosher certificate, two days before passover…… I can’t drag myself to buy one , I’m a little upset Mr. Donuts would be that insensitive.
Somone rip you off on this theme see here
http://www.youtube.com/user/daveleggs