I wonder how many people keep selective negiah? Meaning they tell some people they do not touch the opposite sex and with others they don’t keep negiah at all. I got to thinking about this girl I had a crush on a few years ago – I remember how crushed I felt when she told me she kept negiah, I was heartbroken – all fantasies were out the window.
You could only imagine how crushed I felt when I saw her making out with some dude. And that’s selective negiah. It also works if you want to scare away guys, tell a guy you keep negiah and its through much of the time. Great way to keep sleazy guys away as well.
I find that women use negiah as a defense mechanism against unwanted advances by randomly throwing it into conversation. I was recently at a purim party and this girl I was hitting on said “I am shomer negiah” at the most opportune time, of course I didn’t mind because I myself believe negiah is the way to go, but they way she said it was like the frum girl way of saying, “by the way your not getting any tonight”.
We men really can’t use no touching to our advantage – it just doesn’t work.
Other shomer negiah posts: