What food item will they find bugs in next?

by Heshy Fried on March 22, 2009 · 36 comments

First it was lettuce,

Then it was all leafy veggies,

Then it was strawberries,

Then they said screw it and said all berries had bugs in em,

Then they told us there was bugs in the water,

Most recently they decided that raisins were infested with bugs,

What do you think is next?

Wasn’t the microscope invented hundreds of years ago? Aren’t microscopic bugs like the ones that we swallow with every gulp of air we breath – kosher?

I wish I had something to give to the person who predicts the next items that are banned due to bug infestation?

Maybe it will be machine made matzo, since that means a segment of the Jewish community isn’t pumping their hard earned cash into overpriced flat bread made by turban/shabbos robe clad women?

Maybe we will be forced to wear masks that filter the bugs out of the air?

Maybe all non-cholov yisroel products will be shown to contain bugs?

I never thought water would have been banned, but it was.

What do you think is next?

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{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Veebee March 22, 2009 at 12:52 AM

Sleeping. Since Rabbis don’t actually look into the things they ban, I bet that they will believe the myth/snapple-fact that a person eats 7 spiders while sleeping in their lifetime.

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2 Yochanan March 22, 2009 at 1:09 AM

They came first for the lettuces,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a lettuce.

Then they came for the leafy vegetables,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a leafy vegetable.

Then they came for the strawberries,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a strawberry.

Then they came for the berries,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a berry.

Then they came for the raisins,
and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a raisin.

Then they came for me,
and by that time no one was left to speak up.

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3 frum single female March 22, 2009 at 1:26 AM

great poem yochanan

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4 R.G. March 22, 2009 at 2:00 AM

The next one will be “ESROGIM “

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5 Sergeant J March 22, 2009 at 2:33 AM

Next will be anyhting but whiskey. They will never ban heavy alcohol…

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6 Rachel March 22, 2009 at 2:47 AM

Funny how they never assuer the things that are bad for you… a ban on bamba? On potatoes? Maybe on frying oil? Nah.

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7 rafael March 22, 2009 at 3:20 AM

kitnios, off course …

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8 Phil March 22, 2009 at 10:02 AM

You should get a copy of the book by Rabbi Vai (no relation to Steve Vai or Vai iz mir, although you might say Oy vay after reading the book).

It’s got detailed pics of bugs commonly found in foods in Israel. Aside from fruits and veggies, bugs and parasites can also be found in meat, fish (very common in the ones I catch, less common in stores) and cheese, I even saw worms in chocolate once.

Halachically, no one is responsible for eating a microscopic bug, as they aren’t visible to the naked eye. One is reposible for bugs that you can see but didn’t bother checking for or just ignored.

So the real problem occurs when you can see a tiny black dot and don’t know if it’s dirt or a bug. That is where frummies use a 10X magnifier with a light projecter as recommended by Rabbi Vai.

Others rely on chazakah which is a valid concept in halacha. Basically, if 99.9 percent of beans don’t have bugs, you don’t have to inspect every bean going into a cholent. According to rabbi Vai, you do.

Same goes for pre-cut salads. Star K certifies Dole and other brands based on Chazaka, other hechsher’s rely only on Bodek.

Here in Montreal, the MK has banned cauliflower completely, but the Toronto hechsher (c.o.r.) accepts it. So when we buy pickled veggies, we can eat them at home, but in theory, no one is allowed to bring them to shul which is under the MK.

FYI, someone here once kept leftover shmurah matza long enough that it started getting bugs on it. I guess he wanted to save a few $$$ by keeping his leftovers for the following Pesach, bugs ruined his plan.

And yes, if you’re up in the mountains and are in a situation where you need to drink well water or lake water, there will inevitably be bugs or plankton in it.

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9 BaalHabos March 22, 2009 at 11:24 AM

Software will be banned. Too many bugs. [groan]

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10 whatever March 22, 2009 at 11:44 AM

The difference between microscopic “bugs” you breathe in and the bugs in the produce that they’re talking about is that the bugs in the fruits and vegetables are small, but visible to the naked eye.

It just takes some effort to clean your produce, much like most things that come with being religious.

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11 shev a March 22, 2009 at 12:23 PM

Next up we will all be wearing sugerical masks, halacaha approved in shade of black to filter out any airborne microscopic parasites…black gloves and will breathing filtered air too!

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12 chutznikit March 22, 2009 at 2:03 PM

FYI it’s the men who make the matzah, in the depths of the meah shearim

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13 Frum Satire March 22, 2009 at 3:00 PM

Steve Vai is a Rabbi huh..

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14 HannaH March 22, 2009 at 4:14 PM

why dont we all just live in HASMAT suits and only eat pureed food that has been de-buggified

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15 HannaH March 22, 2009 at 4:20 PM

does bacteria count as a bug?

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16 Talmudist March 22, 2009 at 4:41 PM

Vuss iz Neis reported that giant South American fire ants have completely kosher raisins in their intestines – Nu Kosher is too receive shipments of them soon.

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17 Mikeinmidwood March 22, 2009 at 7:32 PM

I say we are next to be banned, who is going to commit sins if we arent here, its better to not have us.

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18 TunaBeigel3000 March 23, 2009 at 12:43 AM

I say theyre gonna find bugs in sheitels

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19 LearnedShiksa March 23, 2009 at 12:47 AM

I can think of another patch of hair they might want avoid

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20 Mark March 23, 2009 at 11:11 AM

FYI, someone here once kept leftover shmurah matza long enough that it started getting bugs on it. I guess he wanted to save a few $$$ by keeping his leftovers for the following Pesach, bugs ruined his plan.

I always thought that it isn’t permissible to use matzah from one year to the next (sure you can use it during the year, but you cannot use matzah that has a hechsher for 5768 during Pesach of 5769).

Interestingly enough, just yesterday my wife mentioned to me that she has one can of matzah meal leftover from the ones she bought on sale after Pesach last year. I told her that, of course, we cannot use it for this Pesach, and she said that it will probably be finished, or mostly finished, by then anyway.

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21 Double M March 23, 2009 at 2:50 PM

I was reading through and found something quite disturbing.

Women wearing turbans…. That is what male kohanim wear!

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22 Chris_B March 23, 2009 at 3:13 PM

So if in fact the USDA allows a certain percentage of insect matter in meat or processed foods, does that count?

BaalHabos,

I giggled. +1 Internets for you.

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23 Phil March 23, 2009 at 3:28 PM

Chris,

Once a food is processed and the bugs are no longer whole / intact, they get nullified in 60 when they were crushed un-knowingly, and one would only be liable if he ate a kezayis of crushed insects. That is why we are allowed to eat spices and jams without a problem of having to pre-check them.

It does cause a big problem when they (USDA)allow an “acceptable” level in raw goods. Each whole bug you eat is between 4-6 issurim, depending on the type of insect, which makes each one it worse than eating a non kosher cheeseburger. No imagine you eat some strawberries from a bad batch that contain 5 or 6 bugs each, that’s more combined issurim than driving to Macdonalds on Yom Kippur that falls on Shabbos, ordering, paying for, and eating a cheesburger (not saying it’s worse, but it’s more issurim transgressed).

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24 Chris_B March 23, 2009 at 3:51 PM

Phil,

I figgured that the bugs in meat fell under bitul b’ shishim but wasnt sure since even though its not intentional its known a priori for sure that there is a high chance of insect matter being present. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

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25 Michal bas Avraham March 23, 2009 at 5:40 PM

Double M, it’s the girly turbans. They look like a towel on their head. They are popular in Boro Park, Monsey and prolly Meah Sherim.

http://savvysheitels.com/zcart/images/turban30742aqua.jpg

They will ban eyeglasses because, after all, we can’t give the bochurim to pick out frames that might stand out.

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26 A. Nuran March 24, 2009 at 10:26 AM

Yochanan, “I recognize the lion by its paw.” Good to see your talents are spread to places besides Failed Messiah.

Folks, I will let you in on a Scientific Secret.

Everything you eat has bugs. Every single blessed thing. Grain has bug parts, bug eggs and little bugs. So do beans. So do carrots. SO DOES YOUR SHABBOS CHOLENT AND YOUR ROSH HASHANAH APPLES AND HONEY.

In fact, there are fewer bugs in them now than there were back when the Talmud was written.

This isn’t about holiness or mindfulness or obeying the Torah. It’s about control, pure and simple.

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27 HannaH March 24, 2009 at 11:20 PM

why doesnt someone try to get more people to simply keep kosher instead of making it harder for those who already do?

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28 shev a March 25, 2009 at 11:32 AM

Bugs In Sheitals? Yes those are called LICE!

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29 Mark March 25, 2009 at 12:51 PM

I always thought that it isn’t permissible to use matzah from one year to the next (sure you can use it during the year, but you cannot use matzah that has a hechsher for 5768 during Pesach of 5769).

Interestingly enough, just yesterday my wife mentioned to me that she has one can of matzah meal leftover from the ones she bought on sale after Pesach last year. I told her that, of course, we cannot use it for this Pesach, and she said that it will probably be finished, or mostly finished, by then anyway.

My wife mentioned this to a friend in Monsey, NY. This friend asked her Rav and he said that it is permissible to use Pesach products from one year to the next as long as they are unopened. I guess I’ve been under the wrong impression for all these years. Does anyone know for sure if this also applies to matzah itself?

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30 shlong March 26, 2009 at 3:59 PM

We just better hope that they don’t start to find bugs in our bagels, corned beef sandwiches, or instant parve, chicken flavored, soups.

So tell me, is bug ‘flavoring’ OK?

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31 A. Nuran March 26, 2009 at 4:51 PM

shlong, I hate to tell you this, but there are bugs in your bagels. The flour they were made from contains insect eggs, larvae, fragments and the occasional adult. That’s why you find moths and weevils in the kitchen. They came in as part of the food.

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32 shlong March 30, 2009 at 2:20 PM

… I thought those little black things were SEEDS, lol.

Curse you for ruining my bagels!

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33 LearnedShiksa April 12, 2009 at 4:06 PM

No bugs, but definitly on the questionable list..http://tinyurl. com/c9uw8v

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34 Mark April 12, 2009 at 4:51 PM

That tinyurl doesn’t work.

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35 LearnedShiksa April 12, 2009 at 7:21 PM
36 Sunshine ^.^ July 30, 2009 at 11:17 PM

bugs in seltzer…that ought to cause a commotion

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