What would you do for your rabbi?

This was received via email and for the first time in a long time, I laughed out loud.

This is a story about a popular young Rabbi who, on Sabbath Eve, announces to his congregation that he will not renew his contract. He explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush.

No one wants him to leave.

Sol Epstein, who owns a couple of Toyota/Lexus dealerships in the city stands up & proclaims: ‘If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Lexus every year & his wife with a Toyota Sienna to transport their children!’

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands & says: If the Rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!!’

More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex!’

There is total silence.

The Rabbi, blushing, asks her: ‘Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?’

Sadie’s 90 year old husband Jacob is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies:

‘Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ‘F— the Rabbi!”.

• Why can’t a woman be a rabbi according to orthodox Judiasm?
• Rabbi Sara Hurwitz is the first orthodox woman Rabbi – is this wrong or just against the status quo?
• Presenting Rabbi Yehuda Levin
• Monsey Rabbi tells us why women can’t rabbis – it’s got nothing to do with halacha
• Sex-crazed husband finally gives get

Tagged as: humor, jewish comedy, jokes, Rabbis