What would you do for your rabbi?

by Heshy Fried on March 16, 2009 · 8 comments

This was received via email and for the first time in a long time, I laughed out loud.

This is a story about a popular young Rabbi who, on Sabbath Eve, announces to his congregation that he will not renew his contract. He explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more.

There is a hush.

No one wants him to leave.

Sol Epstein, who owns a couple of Toyota/Lexus dealerships in the city stands up & proclaims: ‘If the Rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Lexus every year & his wife with a Toyota Sienna to transport their children!’

The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds.

Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands & says: If the Rabbi will stay on here, I’ll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!!’

More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, ‘If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex!’

There is total silence.

The Rabbi, blushing, asks her: ‘Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?’

Sadie’s 90 year old husband Jacob is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies:

‘Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ‘F— the Rabbi!”.

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{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

The Dude March 16, 2009 at 8:14 AM

good one! ill throw it up on my joke blog
http://www.jacobsjokes.blogspot.com

Reply

Michal bas Avraham March 16, 2009 at 1:37 PM

That is so wrong… LOL!

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The Law March 16, 2009 at 1:41 PM

laughed out loud too. nice. will email it to my father in law (pulpit rabbi)

Reply

Chanief March 16, 2009 at 3:56 PM

Heehee. Cute.

Reply

Left Brooklyn March 16, 2009 at 4:39 PM

oy.

What is sad is that it is not far from the truth.

Reply

Anonymous March 16, 2009 at 10:33 PM

I actually laughed out loud as well…provided a nice comic relief from studying! Thanks Hesh

Reply

Chris_B March 17, 2009 at 12:08 PM

Sent to my rabbi as well.

Reply

Anonymous March 19, 2009 at 8:58 AM

roflao

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