Vos Iz Neias reported earlier in the day that many folks in the Charedi “frummer than you” movements have decided to stop telling the story of Esther because its simply untznius. They have debated this issue for years, but only after the proliferation of colorful untznius Queen Esther purim costumes have the rabbonim decided to ban telling the story of Esther in any situation – except for from the klaph during shul, and even then they have decided to call upon the fastest megillah readers in the world so that no one transgresses any lavim by thinking of Esther.
Esther is known as one of the hotties from Jewish tradition and the entire story is sexual, we cannot allow this and all of the rabbonim agree. How can we explain to our children that Esther actually slept with achashvarosh? How can we explain that Esther was beautiful on the outside without making them feel bad that they themselves are not as beautiful as her, beauty itself is such gashmiyos and we cannot teach out children this.
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{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }
thanks for the chuckle…
Change the title to Megillat Vashti, and celebrate a woman who kept her clothes on, instead. Chag sameyach.
In gemorah shiur we are learning a whole sugyah on how Ester was allowed to sleep with achashverosh – which is a sin you have to die for – without killing herself.
The charedim are talented when it comes to sugar coating facts of life. But how much longer do they plan to persist with it ? Should they also come to ban the story of Yehudis with the same rationalization as well? Or should they revise all those stories into their own interpretations? Are they that ignorant or in denial when it comes to the laws of nature? Its not a disney world that we are living in. There are some really ugly crap that transpires in this world. Its a shame that it has to come to invalidating the story of Esther on the basis of “modesty”. Though I am a little skeptical. How could you confirm this to be true?
I think this is supposed to be funny. However, it’s interesting that there are all these bans like nothing was real in the Torah. These grey beards should mamish crack open thier Tanachs. They are full of things that the rabonim would freak about if they were going on in the present tense. I think they would ban Hashem, if they could. Perhaps in some ways, they have.
whats the world coming to?
uh, for all you people who haven’t picked it up yet, the post is a joke…
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry that we’ve gotten to the point that it wouldn’t surprise us if this joke were real. Oy on that Chumra machine.
I think the fact that people took this seriously is funnier than the post itself. (No offense, Hesh…it’s a good one anyway.)
Hesh,
Sorry to change the topic, but if you are permitted, could you post the times of your shows and where to get tickets (or whatever) (if they are open to the public).
Thanks.
http://heshyfriedcomedy.com
Man are some people gullable, but sometimes I find myself wondering where the line between jokes and truth are when reading the posts.
On the flip side, looks like Achashverosh was the one that invented speed dating. Maybe a cure for the shidduch crisis?
Good laugh, but now you have given them food for thought.
have any of the rabbies read Meschtah Migillah they would flip out.Did you know Achashvayrosh wanted vashti to come the party naked!!!!!!!What about the Gemerah that
Liveblogging Purim at the Muqata.
Funny! Considering the content of Esther it really is kind of a surprise that it made the cut as it were.
We did our first Purim at the local non messianic Chabad place and had a great time.
The Gemara in Megillah mentions that Esther actually had a greenish skin tone, and that it was a neys that Achashverosh perceived her as being beautiful…
Why not just rewrite the entire Chumash without Sora, Rochel, Rivka, Leah, Yocheved, or Miriam? And you’d be best to exclude all lady prophets and all Gemorors dealing with sex and intimacy.
Are we forgetting the first mitzvah in the Torah or ‘Pru u’vru”? And since it is Halochikally assur for a man to deliver a child, we clearly need women to perform this mitzvah. How are you supposed to procreate if you cannot be intimate with them, let alone acknowledge them?
it was a purim joke!
This year its a joke but dont give them ideas for next year.
I received this from a friend and thought I’d pass it on:
Something from Purim Rebbe
In a landmark moment for Jewish unity, the Rabbinic Committee for the
Sanctity of Public Transit has welcomed the Meretz-sponsored initiative
legalizing same sex (“Mehadrin”) marriage in Israel.
“Male-female marriage remains the greatest threat to tzniut on public
buses,” explained a Committee spokesman. “Married couples sitting together
violate the strict gender separation on the mehadrin buses. Furthermore,
conventional marriage tends to produce children, creating difficult
dilemmas. Is it appropriate for a young boy to sit with his mother in the
women’s section of the bus, or for a young girl to ch”v sit with her father
in the front? Once we have abolished the stumbling block of mixed gender
families, entire buses can now be designated male-only or female-only.”
In fact, Mehadrin Marriage has the potential to completely revolutionize
tzniut in Eretz Yisrael. Community leaders are now working to establish
entire Mehadrin neighbourhoods and even towns, where young Mehadrin couples
can purchase apartments in exclusively male or female jurisdictions.
Opposite gender weddings, as well, have always presented an especially
thorny problem in the Torah world, as men and women tend to interac under
the chuppah. With Mehadrin Marriage, the strict separation practiced at the
se’udah can be extended to the marriage ceremony itself.
Politics makes strange bedfellows. The Rabbinic Committee is now seeking to
extend its cooperation with Meretz to adapt the “Two States for Two Peoples”
doctrine to create one state for female people and another for male people.
Poskim are currently debating whether the existing concrete separation
barrier can serve as a halachically valid mechitza between the two states,
or whether it will need to be made higher and thicker.
A compromise has also been reached on the formerly explosive topic of the
Pride Parade. This year, two separate Mehadrin Marches will be held: a
women’s parade through a female neighbourhood, and a men’s parade through a
male neighbourhood.
I.M. Sober
I don’t believe that they actually banned it. Even the strictest of Jews would not lower themselves to such insanity! Barring the Neturai Karta of course.
Unrelated to the story just was thinking:
It is entertaining to see the screws coming out of and wheels falling off of certain groups which remain nameless as they continue their disintegration into absurdity. I just have a pain when I laugh as well. It is so sad to see people doing things that make no sense or contradict logic and reason.