There is nothing funny about a 9 year old girl getting molested by her supposedly ultra orthodox father, but its all over the news and quite controversial, and of course I like to have my finger on the pulse of what people really think – since I am not Vos Iz Neias or Yeshiva World News which tend to censor any discussion on their site as if they were the Chinese or Iranian Government.
I am curious to know if you think it should be posted on national news that the orthodox Jewish community is plagued by many of the problems that occur in any other community. Part of me thinks that publicizing is good, for it allows transparency and forces community leaders to fess up and try and come up with solutions.
Then of course you have the side that thinks its a chillul Hashem, of course it is a chillul Hashem, but these people tend to think women wearing red, people drinking non-kosher water and blogs like mine are also a chillul Hashem.
Is it better to hide the problems or publicize them?
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{ 64 comments… read them below or add one }
Th victims privacy needs to be kept, but the predators need to be outed. We cannot turn a blind eye.
Unfortunately our communities are not protecting our children anymore. They choose to protect the predators, so that their families will get good shidduchim…. This is an issue that angers me so much.
So many victims are scared to speak up, and when they do a lot of times they are not believed. We need to put a stop to this. There needs to be a way for people to anonymously report abuse, and the abusers be outed internationally.
Totally agreed!!!
Of course! Don’t hide it.
That father was one creep.
I hate when people make up fake halachos about what colors are okay to wear.
Rabbi Moshe Feinstein wrote once that if a person is overstrict and makes up laws in certain areas then he is bound to be lax in others.
for a real halachik analysis see “Confronting Child Abuse”, J Halacha Contemporary Society. 2002 Fall;(44):31-50
good point!
I am a new Jew and in all of my learning the past few years what I can’t figure out is when did society dictate over Hashem? I read Jewish magazines and women are afraid to talk about postpartum depression because of the stigma or mourn the fact that their child has special needs. Much is the same in this situation. No man, I don’t care how pious, should be allowed to get away with sexually abusing ANYONE! Is it possible that one reason why Jews are marrying out of their religion is because the observant community refuses to acknowledge that so-called “secular” behavior exists in the frum world? It isn’t secular behavior but HUMAN behavior. It is possible to be a good Jew and love Hashem and still do the wrong thing. Perhaps this is a test for the Orthodox community. I’m just sick of all of these so-called observant yentas lashon hara-ing all over the place about how the secular world is so evil and that “those” things don’t happen in THEIR community. It’s not fair to the victims or the community. We may be the chosen people but we are just people and I can’t believe that Hashem would want this kept quiet. If it’s ever to end it must be made public. There is way more of it going on than realized!
If the community doesn’t talk about it then we are basically saying there is something to hide. Exposing the few instances that do occur shows that we aren’t hiding more. Plus it gives the sense of zero tolerance. If we wish to truly be a light unto the nations we have to be comfortable when that light shines upon us.
The biggest chillul Hashem is the horrific flashbacks these survivors can suffer every single day. Everyone is affected differently, of course, but the trust violations, especially by people that kids are raised to trust, do terrible damage.
Anyone who has ever loved someone who was abused like that knows that the effect of events in childhood on someone can be profound and lifelong. Which isn’t to say people who were abused don’t make good partners.
My kindest boyfriend, so far, z”l, was sexually abused terribly, when he was a kid, by his family and by people at his school. We didn’t break up – he died of brain cancer (he was 50, and was also a stroke survivor. We knew he was dying. Love isn’t always practical or smart.) last fall.
After the tumor was removed, he remembered everything vividly again. Not an easy life. That was many years before we met.
It affected all of his relationships, but not in a bad way, for ours. Anyway, I learned a lot about this stuff from him.
If people are messing with kids inappropriately, the police should be called, imo.
See ProfK’s blog from back in the fall about street justice and this topic. I think the blog is called Conversations with Klal.
I feel no need to protect the low lifes that do this, HOWEVER I wish there was media coverage from time to time about all the amazing things happening in the religious Jewish community, because unfortunately what ends up happening is that people only see the negative press and then that becomes their association with Orthodox Jews.
(Enter http://JewintheCity.com)
Chana I couldn’t agree more – and when it comes down to it – the reasoning behind many people for hiding issues is that their kids wont be able to get married. I wish I could curse, but I will simply say WTF???
People who hide things in order that their kids should get married piss me off to high hell – lying is not allowed, just tell the truth and be done with it.
I have heard of cases from the Rabbi of the Albany- Jewish community in which Charedi families from Monroe and New Square disown their disabled children and send them to the state run institution in Albany, NY so that no one will find out they gave birth to a disabled child – which effects yichus and shidduch status. Thats insane, but it happens on a regular basis.
If you look at the comments on Charedi sites in response to child molestors and rapists being exposed they alost always say things like.
“I know him he would never do this”
“But he’s such a frumme guy- i dont believe it”
“This doesnt happen in our community”
Etc, etc… and its insane. Statements like we cant trust the girl shes not frum anymore – which is obvious why, are always being thrown around.
Its disgusting and I just needed to vent and get away from the humor for a day.
Fearing that this would cause a chilul hashem if it were to reach the public eye, has in fact caused an even larger chilul hashem, namely that this has been permitted to go on, and the predators have been protected. While this may work for some other religions it seems that the Jewish people ought to be mature and responsible than that.
Good work on tackling the topic Hesh, but in truth you have already been beat to it on the daattorah.blogspot.com sight. There continues to be a very good and in depth discussion there.
I like making lists of cons.
If the acts aren’t publicized:
1. The same person (in this case, the father) can continue the abuse for years and years
2. The same person can abuse other victims (like Kolko, who kept his job teaching young boys because any reports were hushed up)
3. Other abuse victims will just take the abuse silently because they have no hope of being heard or believed
If the acts are publicized:
1. The media will jump on the chance to write a negative story about Orthodox Jews, and our supposed utopian society will get a black eye
On the one hand you have lives being ruined, and on the other hand you have a PR problem. I don’t even understand how there can be a question about what the right thing to do is.
Well, I know it’s bad to say this, but at least some of the harsh negative buzz from molestation allegations is panning its strong focus away from Baltimore (a little).
There’s no question that it should be publicized. It is a crime and disgrace that people put a reputation of a phony rabbi or teacher over the safety of innocent children. This worry about affecting chances of a good shidduch is just foolishness. Maybe there’s something wrong with a system that encourages people to protect criminals and put innocent people in more danger.
Re shidduchim, I don’t believe it’s covered up so the predators’ families will get good shidduchim. It’s covered up so the victims (and their families will be able to get good shidduchim.) Being a victim or related to one is apparently enough to ruin shidduch prospects.
I think that the offenders’ pictures should be posted on full page ads in the Jewish Press etc., kind of like the seruv listings….
the molestors need to be outed and put on trial. the people and organizations that hide and enable the perps need to be outed and cut off from all donated funds. rabbi chayim solevetchik in ramat beit shemesh said it best, “what about the children!!!”
The only reason that this continues is because the Rabbis know that they can get away with it.
the MOST IMPORTANT CONSIDERATION is preventing future occurrences. so i think it absolutely needs to be publicized, because that would be a huge deterrent for these evil freaks. for further thought: reported by what entity, and what criteria does this entity use to determine that the individual reported is actually guilty and not just a victim of rumor/unsubstantiated accusation.
This post is rife with satite and humor.
Interesting side note. If you search around on the web you will find that this guy taught at the same place as Kolko… Really creepy.
These creeps need to be brought to justice. It is a halachic obligation to get rid of molesters, especially when they are in positions such as teachers, principals, etc.
That being said, keeping it away from the mainstream media would be recommended, as it’s definitely chilul Hashem.
However, that doesn’t mean that it should be swept under the carpet. If push come to shove, any means necessary are justifiable. Futhermore, one is commanded to kill someone that attempt to hurt, molest or kill another Jew if you catch him in the act.
That which is serious and said in deadly earnest is rarely believed while that which is salacious and said in passing is made faith.
Outing the accused is to increase their punishment before they’ve even been proven guilty. Wait until AFTER the conviction to publicize.
As a general issue, of course it exists and the cases already tried can and should be mentioned, but not made into some sort of, if you’ll excuse the term, witch hunt. Re-read what I said at the top. People exposed to endless repetition of the same story won’t believe that there’s the one, but that every mention is another case. In their minds, it will become an idea of thousands of cases, molesters under every bed.
If you want to stop this, fear of punishment can obviously have no meaning to men whose fear of G-d Himself is insufficient. There has to be a reformation of sexual mores within Orthodoxy. I’m not saying opening and liberalization but a better educated and trained core of rabbis to act as counselors in private to help get people on the right track and not the wrong. And the idea among people that they can go to see someone and trust that they will get help for their condition instead of rejection, premature exposure, ridicule and the like that frightens the not-yet-offending into never getting any help. Also, an end to the blame the victim mentality many have. A victim should be able to come forth and be taken seriously.
That heads in the direction of confession in the minds of some, but I like to think of it more as seeing a good head doc. It can’t all be dry simplistic Torah, there’s got to be some heart there. There’s a number of qualified rabbis now, but not a tremendous culture of recognizing the need for help on this subject before bad things happen. There’s a certain discomfort with dealing with problems on that level, but that’s true with more than just Orthodox society.
If it is publicized without much effort, people (the generic “HaGoyim”) will say “Sexual abuse occurs in the Orthodox Jewish community and Orthodox Jews are doing something about it.”
Some will say that’s a Chillul HaShem.
NO IT’S NOT
The truth doesn’t hide forever. Once that hidden truth comes out, people will say “Sexual abuse occurs in the Orthodox Jewish community, but Orthodox Jews walk around like their shit don’t stink!”
THAT is the Chillul HaShem
Right on!
If Moses were still around these abusers would be taken out and stoned….as they should be.
When communities hush these things up it give the perpetrators a free ticket to continue doing what they are doing and spreads corruption and sin in the community.
Communities need to speak up and let these people know that any such misconduct will be reported to the authorities, and by that I mean the police.
interesting thread about this guy
http://failedmessiah.typepad.com/failed_messiahcom/2008/10/breaking-torah.html
perhaps he should be stoned…….
Stop and think so your son or daughter marries into the family who has an abuser in it but no knows cuz it’s kept a secret and then your grandchild is abused by that person. Was that a good shidduchim.
Anonymous (24),
That’s such a good point, a scary one.
Anonymous (1),
You sum it up so well.
this is something tht is not talked abt in frum comunities partially because they dont want to “expose” the pure precious neshamos of the children to the harsh world of reality. as long as they dont know what it is, it does not exist.
and when s/t like this does happen,what is said is very brief and hushed up. so the kids who are at risk dont know what is happening or how to prevent it from happening to them.
and of course no one wants to acuse the beloved rabbi, who everyone has grown up with.
what i dont understand is if some rabbi/ respected person is acused of molesting kids, how could anyone not believe it? no one would just make this up. if the person is really respected and honest, why would anyone make such allegations against them?
and as for the PR, – no matter what there will always be antisemitism any way. and this is just one more way for it to spread. sad and scary, but true.
My wife and I spent many years teaching women’s self defense. We helped do a number of rescues. Worked on the abuse hotline and a number of other things.
Here is G-d’s own Truth:
Rapists and pedophiles WILL NOT STOP.
They can BE stopped. But they will not do it on their own. As long as they get what they want they will keep doing it.
Roaches fear the light. They need to be arrested. They need to be shamed. They need to be put in jail where they cannot have access to their victims. Handling it “in house” doesn’t work. They will simply move on and re-offend.
And let’s be blunt. Rabbis and beis din are completely unqualified to deal with this. They have no expertise in the subject. They aren’t cops. They aren’t trained investigators. They aren’t sexual abuse counselors. They are legal scholars. And the closer-knit the community the more they circle the wagons to protect their group from outside scrutiny. Over on Failed Messiah every week brings up two or three of these cases. Every single fucking time the leaders threaten the victims. “Mussars don’t get good shidduch prospects.” “Going to the authorities is betraying all Jews.”
This isn’t just a Jewish problem. We see it among the FLDS. It was rampant among the Catholic clergy until the legal system broke open the nest and showed us the scurrying vermin.
We have a choice as Jews. We can expose the sick fucks and turn them over to justice. We can save Jewish lives. It will be painful, but we can root out the infection and take steps to make sure we aren’t promoting evil. Or we can shut up and engage in our own version of “stitches for snitches”. If we do that the reckoning will be harsher. The authorities will NOT be understanding or sensitive to the needs of the community. They will treat obstruction of justice as, well, obstruction of justice. And the longer we stonewall the worse it will get.
The enablers say “Exposing the criminals would be a chillul hashem. It would damage our reputation.” They quote obscure passages from the Talmud and the Shulan Aruch, commentaries on commentaries and learned poskim.
But none of that matters for shit compared to the simple direct words of the Almighty, the Master of the Universe “Thou shalt not stand idly by the blood of thy neighbor.”
Given a choice between the convenience of men and direct orders from G-d I know who I’ll take.
i think my comment just went to the abyss.
I’m just shocked and horrified. Then again, we all are.
How horrifying it must be for that poor woman.
I’m not going to sit here and go off about why this is such a horrible result of super-insular community living.
But I can’t help but think about the time I saw Stephen Liebb the yarmulke-wearing Orthodox Jew serving 25-life for 1st degree murder, while taking a tour of San Quentin. He’s still trying to fight the system and be reclassified by race under something other than “White” so as not to be stuck in a cell with someone from the Aryan Brotherhood. (There is racial segregation in prisons because apparently, everyone forms a gang with people who look like them and they all beat each other up and try to kill them. Why? I don’t know. The food can’t be THAT great…)
My sympathy is first and foremost with the victims of sexual abuse. They deserve justice for what has been done to them, and as others above have stated, no matter what, their privacy and dignity must be preserved. Beyond that, I must say my feelings become more complex.
On one hand, I think that dirt bags who prey on innocent children deserve all the negative publicity they get. But on the other hand, I hate the idea of the Orthodox Jewish world becoming synonymous with pedophilia (much like the Catholic priesthood).
No matter what, though, I don’t think that should stop people from coming forward and reporting their abusers. No one should be left to suffer in silence because we don’t want our community to look bad. If anything, I think it’s the responsibility of the community as a whole to protect our image. To me, that means owning up to the fact that these abuses have occurred and taking great strides to make sure the victims’ needs are provided for. It also means taking steps to ensure that such things do not continue and that children are protected. Finally, we need to be proactive in the media. If they try to exaggerate the problem, we need to be ready to fight back. If they try to disparage our way of life as a whole, rather than that of the perverts on trial, then we need to stand up for ourselves.
I think that no matter how hard we try to fight it, the information will get out. If we try to bury it, we hurt the victims and enable the predators, just like the Catholic Church. Owning up to the problem will be embarrassing, but it gives us the opportunity to take the high road. Personally, I think a little damaged pride is a small price to pay to make sure our children are safe.
The community getting a “black eye” is the least of its problems.
There must be a middle ground here: nobody seems to want to “out” these predators, but, on the other hand, they want something done about them. Apparently, the “higher-ups” are not equipped to do this. Is there not someone in the kehillah who IS equipped to stop the suffering of the children and put these abusers away? The victims, with help, must be made to understand that they can and MUST speak out. Not doing so imposes a life sentence, unnecessarily, of heartache on them.
Vildechaia, THERE IS NOBODY in the kehillah who is equipped to stop these predators unless you’re volunteering to run a prison or kill them yourself. Keeping it quiet means they can continue their activities. Scaring them away from one place means they’ll set up shop elsewhere.
The only thing you can do is make sure there is support for the victims to come forward and be heard. Go to the police. Name names. Be willing to testify in open court even if Revered Rabbis with beards down to their fucking knees yell at you for doing it. There is no “middle ground” here. There is enabling evil, and there is fighting it. We live in a society of laws which has courts and prisons. We are bound by those laws to turn over rapists to the police and to bear witness in the courts.
When you get rid of everything else, all societies are based on one thing – the welfare of pregnant women and little children. A community which fails in this has forfeited its right to exist by the oldest and harshest of morality.
Pedophiles and Predators are sick people. Nothing will stop them. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
Adeena, my father always says “You cannot cure a sociopath.”
I put it a little differently “There’s no treatment, but there is a cure.” Rhymes with “Get a rope.”
I have nothing good to say about the way these things are handled in the frum community.
I rescently read an article about a Ben Zion Twerski from Brooklyn who was commissioned (by Dov Hikind, I believe) to handle cases of abuse in Brooklyn; he ended up having to quit the project because he was receiving threatening e-mails, text messages, voicemails, et al, and the police said that their hands were tied. Some say that Hikind is not doing enough to prevent the issue, but it sounds to me like he’s trying to work with the community, but his efforts are still constantly spurned. He knows, for example, that they’d never agree to anything that involves reporting offenders to the proper authorities (which is the law, after all). Putting aside “Dina Malchuta”, anyone who took these matters outside the community would essentially be put in cherem. Knowing this, Hikind is in a nice Catch-22 (at least according to my understanding), trying to confront the issue but not estrange himself from the community.
Yudi Kolko and Baruch Lanner were both at large as long as they were because of this fear of the community airing out its dirty laundry. Now Kolko and Lanner may be from very different communities, but they have a lot in common. Both were reputable talmidei chachamim who had the backs of a good deal of respectable rabbonim from their respective communities, both were in chinuch for many years, both made their rounds in the Yeshiva world (it is suspected as a result of their reputations catching up to them), and both were outed by people who spoke up to the media.
I recall the week that Gary Rosenblatt wrote his article in The Jewish Week, the Rabbi in my shul denounced the article. He made it clear that he doesn’t support molestation, but that he doesn’t think the article should have been written–that there are many better ways of handling it. My father approached the Rabbi during the kiddush and advised him to watch himself, that there was going to be a furor as a result of this incident, and that this Rabbi doesn’t want his name tarnished by this. Indeed, this Rabbi was panned for allowing Lanner to live with him after he had lost his home as a result of a nasty divorce. My father knows that this Rabbi was acting out of good intentions, that he’d never let a fellow Yid, no matter how despicable, live on the streets. But still, I can’t help but wonder how people turned such a blind eye to him for so many years.
sorry to double post, but for those who are interested, here’s a copy of the article that outed Baruch Lanner in 2000. Those interested in the issue may find it very enlightening; especially given that the author (Gary Rosenblatt of The Jewish Week) faced a lot of heat over the “Loshon Hara” issue when he first published it.
http://www.rickross.com/reference/clergy/clergy99.html
Sexual abuse should be publicized but don’t expect the Yated or the Hamodia to cover that. I find it rather amusing and rather hypocritical at the same time to be living in a community that mandates gender segregation but condones child molestation. Maybe they don’t condone that sort of behaviour per say but they certainly look the other way or won’t even address that issue. Ignoring such offenses is as if you are condoningthem and perhaps promoting them. I think the mainstream charedi community should take a stance to stop covering the butts of these perverts even if they are too afraid or too ashamed to bring this issue to the front burner. It is the community leader’s responsibility to alert us about molesters living in our communities, not turn a blind eye out of fear that it will discredit the community’s reputation.
Part of “Chosen People” is people. Being people its not surprising that this happens or that it gets hushed up. Same things happen world wide. In Japan there are scandals about Buddhist monks or Shinto priests and little kids.
Part of human nature is abuse of power. I’ll admit I’m no Torah scholar, but so far I’ve not read any halacha with exceptions for those in power so I figure the Law applies equally.
Years ago, if the authorities couldn’t handle the problem, a few big and strong baalei batim “handled it”.
Mark,
Maybe that’s the problem, maybe we need to bring back the G-d squad…. (corny term)
Michal – Maybe that’s the problem, maybe we need to bring back the G-d squad….
No, no, no, double NO!!! That’s not what we need. I used the words “baalei batim” for a very specific purpose. I do NOT want a squad commanded by the local Rabbi or other leader … formalizing it that way adds an aspect of politics (it can’t help but do that) to the nasty job, and that is a sure recipe for disaster – worse than the situation we have today. For example, what if it is the Rabbi (commander of the squad) who needs to be “handled”? What if it is a relative of his? What if it is a strong supporter of his? What if it is a friend of his? What if …
Exactly, Mark. If you give the rabbi his own goon squad you get this
At that point you might as well move to Peshwar and joing the fucking Taliban. There’s really no difference between them and the “guardians of modesty.” That is precisely what you will get – the clergy has its own hitters. Their job is to guard morality. That always ALWAYS means ever-increasing restrictions on women and an enforced blind eye to the little boys and girls who are taking it up the tochis from the Leader.
It is certainly of utmost importance to expose and incarcerate anyone regardless of their community who poses a threat to innocents. The only problem is that one must be certain about the negativities of the perpetrator prior to taking such harsh action or believing it. For example, a certain Rabbi was arrested for molesting students in his yeshiva. The problem is that all witnesses remained anonymous, and the only guy who gave his name is totally off the derech. How do you know these people are not fabricating a story just to get back at orthodoxy and a rabbi who he did not like? Although this may unfortunately be true about the rabbi, one must not make conlcusions unless the evidence against him is clear cut!!!
yeshiva dude
why do you wish to protect the perps?
This is a major problem that needs to be dealt with. There is no clear cut answer and will take a lot of work and davening. You can request a prayer at the Western Wall for 40 days for pretty much anything – even peace and morality within the community.
YD, that is what law enforcement and the courts are for. They are equipped to gather evidence, examine the witnesses, decide what should and shouldn’t be allowed and determine guilt or innocence. They already know how to do this. There are procedures designed to protect the rights of the accused and witnesses and to ensure a fair procedure throughout.
They know how to do this. They have the expertise and experience.
You don’t.
I don’t.
The rabbinical courts don’t.
We have already seen that The Community will do exactly what experience predicts: circle the wagons, protect the guilty, refuse to cooperate and pretend nothing happened while punishing those brave enough to come forward.
The only question now is how justice will be served. Will it be with our cooperation and some sensitivity on the part of the Law? Or will the police have to smash through the barriers with harsh legal instruments, the breakup of families and severe damage to Jewish communities?
Arthur/A. Nuran,
I guess I was not clear enough on my point. I did not insinuate in any way whatsoever that I am sticking up for these scumbags!!!!!!!! In fact I said “It is certainly of utmost importance to expose and incarcerate anyone regardless of their community who poses a threat to innocents.” What I meant by the follow up on that point is not that we should defend these people and leave it be and not embarrass the Jewish community, and all that blab you wrote!!!! Instead, what I am trying to bring across here is that of course, if you or anyone you know was abused by someone their name should be brought to the authrities. However, the orthodox publicinstead of believing in the charges with blind faith and jumping to your own conclusions, perhaps you should give the case a second glance for yourself like in the case I gave as an example (which happens to be a real case). It is fairly obvious that not all cases fit in this category, such as the above picture where the father is a clear lunatic (I’m not jumping to conlusions with no basis, rather I’m basing this on the fact that he’s cross examining his kids, and other pertinent details about him that I read up on). I hope you now understand better where I stand on this issue.
That makes it much clearer. Thank you for the followup.
One of the good things about the last couple decades is that most police departments have developed a lot more smarts and perspective on the issue. For a while during the “Satanic Panic” era of the 1980s they tended to arrest everyone in sight and throw out all the rules of evidence and common-sense investigation. A bunch of high-profile screw ups with attendant high-dollar lawsuits like the McMartin case focused their minds wonderfully.
Part of that has been evaluating the credibility of the people who report the crime. Good police work involves sorting out the stories and discounting the complete whack jobs. They aren’t perfect at it, but they have practice and some institutional skill. They aren’t perfect, but they are much better than they were and generally do a good job of navigating between the extremes.
Justice has been served.
It took they jury less than a day to convict Israel Weingarten on all counts. He has been sentenced to decades in the penitentiary where he will be a well-known child molester. That puts him as low as you can possibly be in prison. I doubt that his suffering will last as long as the eight or nine years his daughter experienced.
May G-d have mercy on his soul.
Please post this on all ur blogs Heshy everywhere .. its called family watch dog: http://www.familywatchdog.us/ … all convicted sex offenders go into a registry … you can see who lives in your neighborhood!! And this is only those who got caught!!!
I’d rather see a frum person go to jail for killing a child molester, than to see one more story of community leaders hiding them.
THERE SHOULD BE A SITE WHERE ALL CHILD MOLESTERS IN THE FRUM COMMUNITY CAN BE LISTED AS SO TO RUIN THEIR LIVES AS THAY HAVE DONE TO THEIR VICTIMS…
IM SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT TEACHERS IN FRUM SCHOOLS THAT ARE CHILD MOLESTERS AND ARE GETTING AWAY WITH IT BECAUSE THE COMITEE THINKS THAT IT’S A CHILUL HASHEM IF IT BECOMES PUBLIC ..THEY ARE HYPOCRITS.
THEY ARE NOT ADHEARING TO
‘LIFNEY IVER’ MEANING IF YOU SEE A BLIND PERSON ABOUT TO FALL INTO A PIT AND YOU DONT WARN THEM IT IS AS IF YOU PUSHED THEM INTO IT YOURSELF AND ARE HELD ACCOUNTABLE. SO IN SUCH A CASE OF KNOWING ABOUT A CHILD ABUSER AND NOTHING IS DONE TO WARN ALL THE PUBLIC TO PROTECT THEIR CHILDREN FROM SUCH ABUSERS IT IS AS IF YOU ARE ABUSING THEM YOUR SELF AND THUS MUST BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE…
Ari, what they’re doing is completely understandable. It’s evil. It’s disgusting. It may bankrupt the entire Jewish educational establishment and hundreds of synagogs. But it is dead simple to comprehend.
Up until the influx of Central and Eastern Europeans in the mid 20th century American Judaism had begun to find ways to maintain religious law but deal live in the modern world. Then we got a bunch of people who knew nothing but the ghetto. They were comfortable with the ghetto. They believed that living in a ghetto was what it meant to be a Jew.
So they brought the ghetto with them and raised ghetto life – that of a frightened, oppressed, superstitious, ignorant peasant – up to the level if Divinity. Part of being an ignorant, suppressed, frightened peasant is that you hate and fear anything that isn’t familiar. And civil govnernment is always strange and frightening. Another part is that your leaders are like demigods. Absolute obedience or the Bad Things will shift you out of your comfortable rut. That’s why the Charedim are coming up with ever more ridiculous rules to stamp out normal human behavior. That’s why “modesty” has become synonymous with things the Taliban would smile at. That’s precisely why “The Rabbis” ban strawberries one week and salads the next.
And that’s why we protect the baby rapers in our midst.
It’s about power and control.
I KNOW LKET ME TELL YOU ASSTORY ABOUT DOUBLE STANDARD
WHEN I WAS RELIGIOUS AND WENT ONE DAY TO SHUL AND THAT WEEK ONE OF THE CONGRAGANTS WAS HAVING MARRIAGE PROBLEMS BECAUSE HE WAS CAUGHT CHEATING ON HIS WIFE . HE WAS SHUNNED IN SHUL BY ALL AND NOT A YEAR LATER MR MONEYBAGS FROM THE SAME SHUL WAS CAUGHT DOING THE VERY SAME THING AND I SAW THE RABBI HONOUR HIM EMBRACE HIM AND THAT WAS IT FOR ME SEEING THAT ITS ALL ABOUT MONEY AND POWER IF YOU ARE A NOBODY THE RABBIS WILL TURN ON YOU BUT MONEY TALKS IN THIS FAKE VERSION OF JUDAISEM I OFTEN WONDER IF MOSES SAW WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE FRUM COMMUNITY TODAY HE WOULD THROW THE TORAH TO THE FLOOR SAYING THIS IS NOT WAS GOD INTENDED JUST LIKE HE DID AT SINAI. IT IS NOT A FEW BAD RABBIS THAT IS THE CASE ITS A MAJORITY THAT ARE FAKES AND RUIN IT FOR THE REAKLLY GOOD RABBIS TO SHOW US THE TRUE TORAH WAY THAT WOULD ENCOURAGE US TO BE CLOSER TO GOD AND BE BETTER JEWS…
@Ari, you know “The Golden Rule”. Whoever has the gold makes the rules. Yes, shul politics are no exception. I remember once reading in The Jewish Press about a former shul president somewhere in Midwood who was put in Cherem because he didn’t like how the new president was misappropriating the shul’s funds.
It all harkens back to one of the big problems Luther had with the Catholic church giving indulgences to people who gave them money; yes, you could buy your way into heaven. If Moses did see the way Judaism was practiced today, he probably would kick each and every one of our asses.
I CONCUR DEAR SIR AND IF I TYPE LIKE THIS I AM AWESOME AND NO MORE CHILD MOLESTERS ITS ATROCIOUS AND DEEP FRIED TANGERINE PEELS ETC. ARE NOT FIT FOR PLATYPUS CONSUMPTION HOWEVER THEY ARE MIGHTY TASTY AFTER EATING THE REBBES CREPES AT HIS TISH IN NEW SQUARE EIR HAKODESH!!!!!1111
SHKOYACH, ZEI GABENTCHT:
CHAIMELL THE SHEITAL MACHERS HUSBAND
UPDATE
The evil son of a bitch got thirty years.
I feel that the identity of the victim(s) should be kept private, however, the abuser’s name needs to be outed.
I live in a small Frum community compared to the Frum communities of NY. There are only a few schools to choose from: Bais Yakkov/Yeshiva, Yeshiva Gedolah Boys High School, and a couple other less Frum schools. I have friends that were physically abused by their Rabbeim in Yeshiva and when their parents went to the principals, their response was “not a Frum person”. I think one of the major problems is a mistake in the upbringing. Many Frum people grow up being told that abuse and molestation does not happen in the Frum world. Although we know this is a total falacy, one who firmly believes that this is not an issue in the Frum world will not believe someone who tells them that one of their employees is abusing a student. I feel like if we could somehow show them that this does happen, they would be more proactive in making sure that teachers who are abusive do not continue to teach. I cannot believe that this principal that I am talking about would knowingly allow a teacher to continue this. The same goes for anyone else who has that same mentality.
Henna White, a friend of mine, who works for the Kings County Prosecutor’s office in NY just started a program called “Kol Tzedek” (voice of justice) and it is sponsored by several different Frum organizations in NY. It is a hotline where Frum children can call and talk to someone in confidence if they are being abused (verbally/emotionally, physically, or sexually) by family, teachers, neighbor/friends, etc. They provide for meetings with appropriate authorities in comfortable enviornments and possibly with other adults with whom the child feels comfortable with to discuss what is happening so that they can get a report and ultimately lock up the perpetrators. My hope is that Kol Tzedek can expand to every Frum community so that children can come forward with what has happened and get their lives back on track.
I have to say im pissed off because i dont get how or why Rubashkin who allegedly hired ilegal imigrants gets 52 years in jail! but a sick bastard child molester nobody wants to talk about or prosecute ,explain how that make sense? i mean isnt molestation and rape more serious than some guy who hired ilegals???? .
As the frum mother of 3 children, I am making it a point to speak to my children about drugs, domestic violence, drinking, smoking, dating and yes, sex. (All in age appropriate ways and at the right time, of course.) We discuss boundaries and how important they are. I know it’s very popular in the charedi community to protect our children from the outside world, but people need to get a clue. Sticking our heads in the sand will do nothing to protect our kids.
Also, many of the adults in the community I live in are clueless. Boys and girls (including yeshivish ones) are smoking, drinking, drugging, texting one another and meeting on the sly. They are also having same sex sexual relationships with one another. (Makes watching tv look almost ideal!!) And the adults freak out about kids looking at one another in the local pizza shop!!
Perhaps it’s because I’m ba’al teshuva, perhaps it’s just because I’m me, but I will NOT let my kids be taken advantage of or abused because I wasn’t brave enough to discuss these issues with them. We no longer live in shtetls – period. And while my son especially rolls his eyes when I launch into another version of, “You can come to me about anything, honey, ANYTHING.”, I think he’s ultimately very grateful that he has a mom he can talk to about important issues like this.
Please, parents, talk to your kids. Swallow your embarrassment and do the right thing.