The next time you call your local shadchun don’t be too surprised if she doesn’t speak with a heavy Brooklyn accent. Don’t be too surprised that her name is not Shaindy either. That is right, in response to the downward spiral in the worldwide economy, Saw You At Sinai has outsourced many of its shadchunim to India.
Shaindel and Hinda have been replaced by Khanki and Gupta. Saw You At Sinai told reporters, that all shadchunim would be trained extensively by world renown shadchunim from the United States, Europe and Israel. Even mannerisms like assumptions based on nursery schools attended and what shul their father goes to for Thursday afternoon mincha are all taken into account by these new shadchunim.
It is reported that even though Saw You At Sinai continues to raise their membership costs, even as their profit margin goes up, the new shadchunim from India are a big hit with people from the less yeshivish more out of town backgrounds, who may not be used to the pushy New York shadchunim.
Here is what some satisfied customers are saying:
“I may not be able to understand what they are saying, but they are so much nicer then the shadchunim from America”
“I never thought I could get used to having to provide my birth date and full mailing address every time I called, but I got used to it”
“I just love the fact that we are empowering former Nike sweatshop employees to make a difference.”
Critics are outraged and wonder when the outsourcing will end:
“First I had to cancel my bank account and now I cant understand a word my shadchun is saying.”
“Look I understand they make better cars in Asia, but those shadchunim never ask me about what color tablecloth I have, they just don’t know the culture.”
“Isn’t there some sort of halachic prohibition of talking with a polytheistic person?”
“This is simply assur, its untznius.”
“I burnt my sheitle and now my daughter is getting redd by Indian shadchunim, I just don’t like it one bit.”
Besides for outsourcing shadchunim the orthodox Jewish community has begun to consider outsourcing bris milah, teflin making and shechita.
Other similar posts:
I love talking to shadchunim
Tribute to shadchunim for their work
Ridiculous shadchun questions
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{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
lol! sad i almost took this seriously….
Not a bad idea. The next best culture to speak about arranged marriages would be Indians.
Hilarious.
LOL!
I’m fascinated how your mind works Heshy….
anon
We jews dont have arranged marriages, but we can adopt it with this outsourcing; Indians are great with pre arranged marriages, it can also solve the shidduch crisis.
However, I do notice there’s so many shadchanim from places like Georgia. That’ thing is useless. I almost never get suggestions from the women who are supposed to be finding me someone.
Why am I supposed to get married anyway? I’m not, the men are obligated, not the women, so they better get a degree and be able to support a wife.
Mikeinmidwood – Their pre arranged marriages are more coerced. They could get engaged as young as 6. I would prefer to have a say on what type of guy I want to marry rather than be shipped off to some man who is twice my age. But parents from both cultural backgrounds could be just as annoying and conniving.
Mike, what Midwood are you living in? Dont you have any family living in BP/Willi? I think that is as close as arranged marriages as it comes. Hundreds if not thousands get married every year by meeting their significant other for a total of once or maybe twice, (while their parents are in the adjoining room, splitting up the wedding bill) for a total of maybe 3 to 4 hours.
Well, in India, girls are often forced into marrying at incredibly young ages to men that are just simply too old. There are girls there as young as five or six that are married off to men as old as fifty or sixty. Shidduchim are much different. They are not arranged marraiges, but sort of fixing up Jews with other Jews that they actually may have something in common with and are around the same age. The occupation of a shadchan should be left to old, pushy, loud, finicky, women with heavy New York accents, not polytheists in different continents. Haha
I’m all for scrapping shadchans, not outsourcing them. Either let people find each other, or if that involves too much pritzus for ultra frummies, let them take a page out of our crazy cousins’ (arabs) book and set up women with rich dudes by the dozen.
Michal,
If men are the ones obligated to get married, women are just as responsable to do their part, as they are the other half. Otherwise, who are the men expected to marry, sheep?
Phil,
Since when are you obligated to “do your part” so that someone else can do a mitzvah which is incumbent on him? I don’t think halacha works that way.
Frum Satire,
I think the new shadchonim would still call themselves Shaindel & Hindy. Unless you think they’d continue to go as David & Susan, the names they used as Dell technicians.
Hilarious!!!
Have you been watching too much Slumdog Millionaire?
Critic
I said pre arranged, not arranging, indians are best at pre arranged marriages and you dont seee them with a shidduch crisis.
anon, that is called “Kol Yisrael, areivim zeh l’zeh” all of Kllal Yisrael are co-obligors of one another.
Phil,
That’s why they have to turn themselves into a quality product so, we WANT them. The men I’ve seen make my stomach turn. Your suggestion was one of the best but, I don’t want to move to Montreal and I’m not a fan of fluffy yoga-y type stuff… so, I think things would have come to loggerheads on that.
Anon for this,
Dovid and Shoshanna… haha
anon,
Men are obligated to marry women in order to multiply. If women don’t want to get married, how are the men supposed to fulfill their obligation?
Michal,
You don’t need to move here to find good men, I’m sure they exist everywhere. I assume you were referring to my scrap the shadchan idea, which is popular in some circles.
As far as high quality product, no one can please everyone. If you have an idea of what you are looking for, that doesn’t mean it matches the next person’s idea. Besides, it goes both ways, women need to be just as appealing to men.
At the end of the day, God is the real and only shadchan. Everyone is supposed to have their mate out there, hiring a yenta to try to help you find her may not always be the best way to do it.
Since when are you obligated to “do your part” so that someone else can do a mitzvah which is incumbent on him? I don’t think halacha works that way.
Of course it does. You are called a rasha if you had a chance to help someone do a mitzva (or warn him against doing an aveira) and didn’t. It’s also good sense, since all Jews are cells in one body (is it a liver cell’s problem that a heart cell is sick?). So, every time you sin, I suffer. Think about it.
Well, men between 30 and 45 years old should make more minimum wage. I think most people agree with that. I make a better living than almost every guy who has been suggested to me. I have had suggestions of guys who don’t have job or like they’re a cashier at the grocery store or they work in food service. I dated much better guys before my conversion…
Michal,
Like I said you need to scrap your shadchan or at best, find a new one. If they are suggesting guys old enough to be your dad that still work for minimum wage, doesn’t that tell you anything?
The fact that you are a convert might make you “less than desirable” in the frummy world. I’m not trying to be mean, it’s simple fact.
Only you have the power to avoid / circumvent this issue by getting rid of the shadchan(s) that likely shares this view any will forever be setting you up with men that are less than desirable. Why would you want to put yourself through that kind of crap?
Yellow, I am shadchan in India. I pink to all girls and boys. Why don’t they get married? Is something bad?
What mean “liberal” and “machmir”? Is it size of genital organs?
Why so many fat people? No fat people in India.
Why so many divorcees? In India, husband beat wife, wife listen. No divorcees.
India good place to live. No fat people. No divorcees.
Michal,
Do you ever hear yourself before taking action in speaking/writing such drivel? You irritate me to the point where I can never find anythng positive in what you want to express. Instead I want to tear it up and poke holes in it.
Given you may not be at that stage yet where you look past a man and his money and ask the finer details of what makes a man a father and soulmate. In life money comes and goes the real questions are what example is this person going to set for my children and myself? Low wages doesn’t mean a man isn’t smart, there are other treasures man possess that don’t involve counting money. There is always hard work, determination and a good dispositon to consider.
Veebee,
No one cares:)
Wow such violence on such a funny post
I sense that anonymous is a 45 year old laid off from his career job at McKosher’s.
Let’s be practical. Yeshiva tuition is very expensive and I’m looking for a prospective husband, not a prospective wife.
The Torah says men may marry another but not reduce the first’s allowance… According to G-d, the man is supposed to pay the way.
Phil,
How do you suggest I meet Frum men without a shadchan?
Michal,
The way everyone else does, friends, aquaintances, etc. Problem today is people go out on dates that are more like interviews.
How do you expect anyone to get married that way?
Is it like ask twenty questions, if she gets 18 right marry her now, if it’s 16 well maybe, 15 or less send her home and start again?
People, especially older people that don’t necessarily come from frum backgrounds can’t be forced into the same norms as the Williamsburg crowd.
People need to date, figure out if they even are attracted or like someone before they start popping the serious questions.
People need to realize that just because someone feels a certain way at 18, doesn’t mean they’ll still feel that way at 20, 30 or 40.
I have friends that wanted to be shluchim out to mekarev the world at 20, then became businessmen that won’t even visit Crown Heights or the ohel a few years later.
Would they have made good matches for ultra Chabad girls? Maybe, maybe not. Point is they would have been honest to their shidduch at the time, then in for a big surprise when it was too late.
My GM helped a nonjew from India set up her own profile (took the picture umpteen times for her). She was told to wait as they went through the suggestions made…
Reasons for nos:
• He/She was born to a different cast
• Birth mark!
• Height
• Weigh
• Profession
• Glasses
• Family background
• Where he/she lives
When we heard this we just started laughing and laughing
Well, men between 30 and 45 years old should make more minimum wage. I think most people agree with that. I make a better living than almost every guy who has been suggested to me. I have had suggestions of guys who don’t have job or like they’re a cashier at the grocery store or they work in food service. I dated much better guys before my conversion…
First of all, use the “three tries and you’re out” method. If someone sets you up with 3 completely inappropriate men in a row, you simply don’t accept setups from them anymore. It took me a while to do that when I was dating, and after a while I even garnered enough courage to directly and clearly tell them why I am not accepting anymore of their suggestions. Some people were miffed, and that’s just too bad, but some apologized to me a little later (especially in wildly inappropriate setups, oy I remember once a real Chassidish girl that I was setup with … I am, and always was, modern orthodox, and not a big learner on top of that).
Phil – The fact that you are a convert might make you “less than desirable” in the frummy world. I’m not trying to be mean, it’s simple fact.
I don’t doubt that this is true, however, I believe it to be completely assur and disgusting. I can definitely understand a discrete check for Kohanim, however any mention beyond that pre-setup is completely inappropriate. After meeting a few times and starting to discuss family members, the fact will no doubt come up in short order.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Emmy82tFT30
this is a jewish chinese wedding. the commentary is also kind of interesting.
Well, it’s hard to hide when everyone asks up front where I went to school and if it was yeshivah. Friends and acquaintances make worse set ups than shadchans.
MBA hope this helps
It mentions that when lineages are traced at the end of this exile that some people who thought they were Jewish will find out that they were not. So any people who joined the flock can take heart that they know that they belong here.
I remember a quick witted friend from synagogue who complained (without names etc) quite extensively (about a certain group of nameless people who made it their life to cause her trouble and heartache) about felling treated less of a person because she was not Jewish from birth, mentioned a retort to a most hateful comment that was made: she said “I have papers that say I’m Jewish what do you have”
Double M,
Me like, will use… when I get them… I have about 7 more months before I get them.
Michal bas Avraham – I must laugh at one of your comments about who you have been fixed up with. Get this – recently I was introduced to a guy who looked 80 if he was a day. He had a kidney transplant and was going back on dialysis (poor soul)
The reason they thought we should be together? We had so much in common! Despite the fact that I am very active and he can barely get to the toilet, I was a dialysis nurse in my 20s and he is on dialysis. Match made in heaven! As I was told, “You’d have so much to talk about!”
Oy!
Mark,
Facts are facts even though they might be assur. Anyway, knwoing that some people look at converts as less desireable is only facing the truth. Any convert should be proud of this accomplishment and mention it straight up. I would think that’s better than trying to hide it until after a few dates.
Again, maybe in the not so perfect world of shadchan’s things are different. But if people dated just to see if they were compatible before even thinking about or concentrating on marriage, my guess is that we would be better off.
My wife and I met while I was still in yeshiva. No it wasn’t a shidduch date, we were invited on a double date by mutual friends. Had it been a shidduch , both our parents were likely to have vetoed it before we ever met. In addition, although we shared interests as teenagers, our ideas of the ideal husband and wife might have been very different at the time.
After dating for nearly 3 years, we pretty much figured out we were going to get married, took another year or so until it happened. We’re happily married for over 14 years.
Phil and CA,
Perhaps I wasn’t clear. I’m just saying that the fact that a man must marry does not obligate a woman to marry a particular man, if she doesn’t think he’s a suitable marriage partner. Marriage isn’t a chessed project, it’s (hopefully) a lifetime committment, so a woman shouldn’t marry simply to allow a man to fulfill his marriage obligation. When my neighbor asks me to watch her kids because her babysitter suddenly called in sick and she needs to work, I’ll do it even if I’d rather not. I don’t think most people view marriage the same way.
Obviously if every woman in the world would refuse to marry, simply because it’s the man’s mitzvah, the world would fall apart. But based on my observations I doubt there’s much danger of that happening.
anon,
I never asked anyone to marry someone they weren’t interested in, that would be absurd. My comment was in reference to her asking why should she bother at all if she isn’t obligated.
If it doesn’t work out will they say,
“Tank you – come agen.”
Let’s hope someone is teaching them to say things like, “You’ll make a mensch out of him!” when what they mean is, “He just got out of prison for killing his first wife!”
You may be on to something… we need to outsource bochrim!!!!!!
get this: When I was 19 I went out with a guy nine years older than me. I did not know our age difference at that time, but the early balding should have been a clue! Turns out he had been divorced and had a child only 10 years younger than ME. I didn’t know this when I went out with him. Had I known, I would have never gone out with him, due to our age difference and his personal history. I found out everything about 2 weeks later.
Two months later, I was engaged.
To him!
It’s been 31+ happy years with, many kids and grandkids later ken yirbu.
Who would’ve thought???
(I agree it sounds creepy when I think about it, though! lol)
On the shidduch topic maybe some of you girls can help me. My husband and I decided before we got married not to have kids until he graduates from university and has job stability.We really wanted just to stay friends until he graduated and had job stability but that wouldn’t have looked very “jewish” and we didn’t want to ruin our “nice-couple”image in our community.
I recently got a very sarcastic remark from my sister-in-law(or at least it sounded sarcastic)”Nu it’s been a year already where’s the baby”. When my husband told my in-laws what she said they apologized but explained that in her “circles” that’s a socially acceptable comment.Uh what?!!!Am I not getting something here?
Leeba,
It’s so true. When one friend was trying to cheer me up she told me they would if he has a sibling with down and she has sibling with down, they would say, GREAT, a shidduch!
Anon for this,
Woo Hoo! Marriage isn’t a chesed project, thank you.
Chevdah,
http://www.alizahausman.net/2008/02/dont-ask-about-my-uterusplease.html
She is a Jewish convert and blogaholic where she discusses how hot this topic is. It was worse for her than you.
Double M
“I have papers that say I’m Jewish what do you have”
I am definitely gonna remember that one! Simple and to the point. I like!
Adeena Zoo,
What rock did you come out from under? Aside from being some ugly stereotypical (expletive deleted) many posters here have zero right to make fun of Indian English as far as I’ve seen.