I received this letter in my email inbox – I always knew Facebook would be banned, but I assumed since the Gedolim had already banned the internet, it was assumed via kal vachomer that any internet site was banned. This comes at a time when there has been a lull in the bans and chumros put out by the group known as “gedolim” – from what I have heard, the gedolim are controlled by special interest groups who seek to add pork barrel legislation to decrees such as random bans that they seek to make money off of, word has it that someone will put out a device to “kasher” facebook for use in a business setting.
I received the following via email:
Unfortunately mu publishing software would not let me copy and paste the email for it contained a lot of Hebrew.
Click the link below:
Other posts about bans:
Passaic bans bat miztvahs
Denim skirts are banned
Bike lanes in Williamsburg are banned
Coed checkout lines are banned
Nechama February 24, 2009 at 9:05 am
“The Facebook” Ha, sounds like my dad when he was so proud he had learned how to work “the email”
CA February 24, 2009 at 9:17 am
Ha! This is retribution for banning me from chat for sending too many links. Stupid fuckers.
Regarding the ban — without the concept of dira b’tachtoinim, same old shtus keeps repeating itself.
chutznikit February 24, 2009 at 9:47 am
Come on, that email is a spoof. The Gedolim probably do rely on the Kal VeChomer.
prili February 24, 2009 at 9:59 am
Oh the chumrah police, how we have missed you so.
Im glad to know that I am a ?????. What the heck are the ??? for?
Nate February 24, 2009 at 10:19 am
The ??? are Hebrew. Hesh, did you get a copy with ???’s or in hebrew?
Talmudist February 24, 2009 at 10:27 am
Can you post the actual ban Hesh? Too much of the Hebrew (and therefore, a full context) is missing to fully know how to best critique it. TIA!
Talmudist February 24, 2009 at 10:29 am
“Too much of the Hebrew…is missing to fully know how to best critique it.” (I mean, in the version currently posted here).
buffalonian February 24, 2009 at 11:16 am
don’t understand a word please fill in the ?????
Honestlyfrum February 24, 2009 at 11:34 am
I saw that Hamodia now has a website. I just blogged about it and my exchange with them. They seem to think that “web sites are now the primary resource of information for many people”.
I think that the internet ban is softening because no one listened to it so now they are going to just ban each site individually. Could you please scan in a copy of the e-mail?
Phil February 24, 2009 at 11:43 am
The ???? mess the whole post up, seems like a spoof to me too.
My boys yeshiva banned Facebook and Myspace accounts for all students, with all the crap on there I don’t blame them one bit.
I’ve seen Rabbi’s accounts with half naked chicks and xmas promo on their page, it looks real bad for them, I doubt they even knew about it.
G*3 February 24, 2009 at 11:48 am
This reminds me of a CD on the dangers of the internet that was going around last year. Its centerpiece was a video of the Rosh Yeshiva of BMG talking about the dangers of “the internet access.” Though to be fair, I think Facebook was originally ‘The Facebook’ for its first year or so.
Frum Satire February 24, 2009 at 11:59 am
In my publisher it came out as Hebrew Ill get a link to the PDF file I received
stickler February 24, 2009 at 12:15 pm
just adding to the evidence that this is a spoof is the numerous hebrew mispellings… yid has an aleph sakana a chuf and mashchics a ches… just thought id point that out
Michael Shoshani February 24, 2009 at 12:16 pm
This is beautiful. It had me going until I got to “even a virtual poke is still ossur”.
I mean, if you stop and think about it, the document is directed toward college student. To the “gedolei Torah” mindset, any college student is going to see far more pritzus and ‘ervah just walking out his dorm to class than he will ever hope to see on Facebook.
ST February 24, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Has this ban been confirmed? I was chatting with someone about this and it seems to be a Purim joke
Shua February 24, 2009 at 12:56 pm
lol of course it’s a joke people. but funny nonetheless
offthederech February 24, 2009 at 12:58 pm
Two things that struck me as especially crazy: “Based on research” and “will be guaranteed a place in Olom haba.”
Frum Satire February 24, 2009 at 1:11 pm
No Rabbi would know to mention the founder of Facebook
ipitythefoo February 24, 2009 at 1:52 pm
THIS IS REALLY REAL!!!!!
MISHENICHNAS ADAR MARBIM BISIMCHA!
ADAR FOOLS!
The Law February 24, 2009 at 1:55 pm
Nice “purim torah”
Klem February 24, 2009 at 2:21 pm
Imagine the frightful gehenom Mark Zuckerberg is going to get for all the aveiros that came out of his website liolam vaed, AHHH!!!!
Anyone wanna join me in my attempt to make a lobbyist group as we try to get the gedolim to ban the stuff we ask them to. All we have to do is stand in their office all day until they do what we ask just to get us to leave. By the time I’m done you won’t even be allowed to use a toaster.
chutznikit February 24, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Yeah if you think about it, toasters accustom us to a life of ease. You don’t need to time the minutes, you don’t need to turn the slices over.
Go for it Klem! Toasters r a bad influence on klal yisrael, yidden should know they have to work hard for their sliced bread!
Anonymous February 24, 2009 at 4:11 pm
Is frumsatire assur
Anonymous February 24, 2009 at 4:11 pm
is twitter assur
Anonymous February 24, 2009 at 4:19 pm
“As research tells us” is my favorite line.
And there’s absolutely no explanation as to why in here… not even an example of something terrible and horrible and dangerous! …oh my
Anon. February 24, 2009 at 4:20 pm
“As research tells us” is my favorite line.
And there’s absolutely no explanation as to why in here… not even an example of something terrible and horrible and dangerous! …oh my
Anon. February 24, 2009 at 4:21 pm
3 and 4 are absolutely ridiculous
and 3 under glossary is EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS
qwaq February 24, 2009 at 5:13 pm
hilarious esoecially the part about getting a shidduch
Michal bas Avraham February 24, 2009 at 7:16 pm
“controlled by special interest groups who seek to add pork barrel legislation”
You’ve been reading about Obama, haven’t you?
Veebee February 24, 2009 at 7:19 pm
I love how the Hebrew words are misspelled and “poke” is under the glossary when it isn’t mentioned anywhere in the ban.
However, the lack of grammar did cause me to suspect that it was, in fact, legit.
Veebee February 24, 2009 at 7:23 pm
Does anyone know where I can download a free copy of koshernet or one of those retarded Jewish “kosher Internet programs?”
Michal bas Avraham February 24, 2009 at 7:45 pm
Frum Satire is beyond assur. If the rabbis knew I read this, I’d prolly be un-Jewished
Michal bas Avraham February 24, 2009 at 7:53 pm
The way it’s written, if you’re not a college student, it’s automatically a heter.
yeshiva dude February 24, 2009 at 8:08 pm
VEEBEE,
The “kosher internet programs” are far from retarded!!!! If you had internet in your house because of business matters and had children, would you like them freely roaming the dangers of the internet (I’m especially referring to porn which any normal kid would visit)? Assuming that you are normal, the answer would be of course no, and a good way to let them have entertainment or whatever else there is to do on the internet, just get a filter like the kosher internet.
By the way, when you’re referring to “gedolim”, which gedolim wrote this letter? It is unfar to make generilizations about talmidei chachamim and assume that they are universally messed up!
yeshiva dude February 24, 2009 at 8:10 pm
which “godol” wrote this letter? It is unfair to assume that all gedolim are universally messed up because of this email!!!!!!!!
HannaH February 24, 2009 at 11:00 pm
wow, that is hilarious!!
but i dont understand how the gedolim can know abt “the facebook” if they dont use the internet?!
Unconvinced February 24, 2009 at 11:00 pm
No “godol” wrote this letter – when the gedolim issue a ban they sign it at the bottom. It’s clearly a spoof on all the bans that have come out recently. This letter has an email address at the bottom – ForbidFacebook@gmail.com. I doubt that email address belongs to any “godol”.
Mikeinmidwood February 24, 2009 at 11:43 pm
chutznikit
Work for your bread, but only women do that?
Nate February 25, 2009 at 2:56 am
“but i dont understand how the gedolim can know abt “the facebook” if they dont use the internet?!”
That’s why they need MO Jews, so that we can inform them of what really happens in the world. Since we’re tamei already it’s not a big deal for us to use the internet – unless of course you mean Facebook and read blogs. Those can contaminate even the contaminated.
Double M February 25, 2009 at 10:57 am
This might be a necessary ban. Did someone from CRI accidently ban the kal vachomer?
Michal bas Avraham February 25, 2009 at 1:20 pm
Whoever said that it waas a Purim gag is obviously right.
It opens up by saying (for those of you who can’t read Hebrew) “During these days of Adar preceeding Purim…” and again throughout this it talks about banning “the Facebook” as something that will bring a better Purim.
If they issued a ban, they wouldn’t focus on Purim or any other holiday, they would just issue it already.
Left Brooklyn February 25, 2009 at 3:15 pm
If this isn’t Purim Torah, then Orthodox Rabbi’s have 1) come to terms with the modern world 2) get a life
Tevy February 25, 2009 at 7:54 pm
My favourite line from that email has to be:
“Poke- A virtual representation of a violation of ?????? ????? . Even a virtual poke is still ????”.
I nearly died of laughter reading that.
But seriously, people check their Facebook like it’s their email/cell phone. Heck, some people even use it as a verb (ie: I’ll “facebook” you when I get home” – like googling… It’s such a common method of communication and connecting with other people nowadays that it’s ridiculous to ignore it in today’s modern society.
And regardless of the shtuz, a lot of good comes from Facebook. Many rabbis and prominent Jews have Facebook accounts for the sake of kiruv, or just to keep in touch with their friends, talmidim, peers, and family members. It’s too bad the close minded, yet well intentioned Gedolim don’t acknowledge the good and only view and address the bad.
Tuna February 25, 2009 at 8:43 pm
Hey just bec. Ppl do kiruv on it doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. That would be like writing a weekly dvar Torah in the playboy magazines
Double M February 25, 2009 at 9:23 pm
There are 3 areas holy, unholy, and neutral in this world. So you’re saying that playboy is neither good nor bad… ummm sure.
Tuna February 26, 2009 at 8:18 pm
Life is like going up a hill you either go up or down there’s no such thing as neutral
Anonymous February 27, 2009 at 2:12 pm
What Gedolim, someone could have made that email up.
By Lubavitch we support Facebook for constructive purposes.
Veebee February 27, 2009 at 4:08 pm
yeshiva dude – I’ve installed koshernet to see how many different ways I can bypass it. It’s such a joke of a program that any 10 year old with a pulse can disable/circumvent it.
Unfortunately, that was on my old hd and I can’t find a copy of it in goyland.
Secondly, This letter was posted on the UMd College Park campus a few years ago.
Jenny February 27, 2009 at 8:45 pm
then y are they on facebook then? hmmm?…….
Meir October 28, 2010 at 2:46 pm
My favorite part is when it asks people to convince mark Zuckerburg to dismantle Facebook. Or the part where it says “poking” is an issur of nidah! I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!
Mike the MO Maven December 29, 2011 at 10:00 pm
My favorite part was how they said “poking” someone over facebook was a violation of shomer negiah. I was rolling. Whether it’s fake or not, either way it’s hilarious.