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Have you ever encountered a brick wall while on a shidduch date?

My roommate is a serial shidduch dater, I don’t think I have ever seen anything like this guy – hopping around from girl to girl, in love one day out of love the next. I have many stories to tell and because he is an attention whore like myself he doesn’t mind that I tell them – unfortunately a lot of the girls he dates know who I am so I can’t be all that up front. Lets just say he has seen and experienced everything including the brick wall.

I never thought about this before, but the other night he was chatting on facebook with some girl and immediately after declaring her hotness I hear him scream “not another brick wall”, at which point he reenacts the conversation.

Where are you from?

“New Jersey”

What do you do for a living?

“I’m an accountant”

I hear ooh she has money from the other room.

What do you do for fun?

“You know whatever anyone else does”

At this point I hear some expletives and my roommate starts screaming at me about doing a post on these one word answer type of girls. I have encountered them as well, but I never even bothered with the brick wall analogy, I would just terminate the conversation call whomever it is who set us up and tell them that the girl needs some therapy on how to appear more exciting even if she is about as exciting as a brick wall.

Luckily there are men who are equally as boring as these brick wall women or else we would have a really new kind of shidduch crisis on our hands. And I know a bunch of you are going to say, “but he was in chat” and my response is that he says they do it on the phone on the date wherever. Oh and he is not dating timid 22 year old girls fresh from brainwashing at their local seminary. He doesn’t even like dating girls who aren’t divorced – says something I don’t agree with entirely about single girls, he says that if they have never been married at 34 there must be something wrong with them. If only he could convey that to other people in the frum community – because from my experience the frum community doesn’t take a keen interest in single mothers.

Check back for more posts on my roommates crazy shidduch dating life. Including the $450 date with a girl he thought he was in love with even though he never actually met her.

{ 24 comments… add one }
  • Veebee February 6, 2009, 2:31 PM

    The best part of this post was the picture of the smurfs.

  • OPINIONATED February 6, 2009, 2:45 PM

    I wish more guys dated divorcees.

  • Frum Satire February 6, 2009, 2:49 PM

    I like that part too – I like this new stage of putting pictures in every post

  • Texgator February 6, 2009, 3:04 PM

    Stupid girls…..your roommate is a mensch…he’s too good for most of ’em.

  • the roomie February 6, 2009, 3:06 PM

    For the record I said she was perfect, not in love with her. two different things:P But it was $450

  • Texgator February 6, 2009, 3:31 PM

    $450??!! Ain’t no lady worth that on a first date.

  • Rentsy February 6, 2009, 3:51 PM

    That’s hilarious

  • Mark February 6, 2009, 4:57 PM

    What do you do for fun?

    You know whatever anyone else does

    At this point, the only thing to assume that she meant is sex. That’s the only thing that “everyone else does” for fun. And, if that were the case, he definitely should have gone out with her! 🙂

  • The Wandering Wondering Jew February 6, 2009, 10:14 PM

    I agree with Opinionated. I wish more guys dated divorced women. Even those of us who are divorced and have no kids almost never get dates.

  • Jenny February 6, 2009, 10:50 PM

    Wow, I didn’t realize people still met from the internet, unless of course they were desperate or 15 years old…

  • ~ Sarah ~ February 7, 2009, 6:25 AM

    i have a rule not to date any more accountants.

    (and the pictures are fun! keep it up!)

  • Marooned in the Midwest February 7, 2009, 8:28 PM

    Jenny – Of course people meet on the internet. Ever heard of Jdate, Frumster, Saw You at Sinia, etc? It isn’t about being desperate. It is just another resource. We use the internet to research a million other things, why not dates? Especially if someone isn’t the shidduch dating kind, or lives in an area without a lot of single Jews.

  • Phil February 7, 2009, 9:41 PM

    I agee with Mark, she was very likely hinting at getting into the sack. Unless your buddy is shomer negia, he missed the boat.

  • Jason February 8, 2009, 4:45 AM

    Yeah, divorced men with kids don’t have it so well off in the dating world either…

  • ShevaNYC February 8, 2009, 7:37 AM

    here’s a new and novel idea–stop asking questions like you are on an interview.

    Instead share a funny story about something that happened to you recently. Or how about start a conversation about a recent news item–say like the stimulus package..everyone has an opinion about that….If you must ask questions, ask questions that let the person think and have a full answer…don’t ask one word “yes’ “no”…try this ” how do you think the stimulus package will affect our country” or “how do you think Pres.Obama should implement change?”

    Chances are your conversation might be more stimulating and less likely to hit a brick wall…..

  • Mark February 8, 2009, 10:20 AM

    heres a new and novel idea …

    It’s a novel idea to discuss politics and the stimulus package … if you don’t want a date 🙂

    However I do agree with dispensing with the “interview” questions. The first phone call[s] should be a back and forth kind of discussion trying to scratch the surface of who each of you are. Dating and further conversations are to deepen that understanding of who you are.

  • anon February 8, 2009, 10:23 AM

    mark and phil, you are both completely off the mark, if her responses were terse and concise she Does Not want to get into bed w you, she wants to ward off any further conversation,
    i didnt think guys were so oblivious to this heshy, i mean its a pretty common method (not that it works in many cases) but women will be short and (somewhat) rude to indicate they aren’t interested

  • Mark February 8, 2009, 10:42 AM

    mark and phil, you are both completely off the mark, if her responses were terse and concise she Does Not want to get into bed w you, she wants to ward off any further conversation,
    i didnt think guys were so oblivious to this heshy, i mean its a pretty common method (not that it works in many cases) but women will be short and (somewhat) rude to indicate they arent interested

    It’s. A. Joke. I used her phrase “You know, what anyone else does.” as the answer to the question “What do you do for fun?” as a “foil” for the joke. Oh, forget it …. you would think with this being Frum Satire that people would use their joke colored glasses a little more often …

  • Michal bas Avraham February 8, 2009, 2:59 PM

    Mark,
    I read between the lines with the same conclusion.

  • Michal bas Avraham February 8, 2009, 3:04 PM

    Again, given the question and answer… yeah, she’s not exactly shomer negiah. This is coming frm a woman.

    Although, in some cases, short answers means that she’s either not interested, doing other things at the same time or she’s chatting with others too.

  • Josh February 8, 2009, 4:44 PM

    Your roomie is completely off the mark on this one, the problem isn’t that she’s a boring accountant, he’s asking questions that automatically lead to a brick wall. Try asking open ended questions like “why did you decide to be an accountant” or “what are you passionate about.” He’ll get much further and maybe learn something worth knowing about the poor girl.

  • Mark February 8, 2009, 8:26 PM

    Again, given the question and answer yeah, shes not exactly shomer negiah. This is coming from a woman.

    Michal, there’s a huge distance between not being shomer negiah and having sex on the first date. A huge, huge, huge, distance. Not even in the same solar system. There’s even quite a large distance between not being shomer negiah and having sex with anyone before marriage.

    Although, in some cases, short answers means that shes either not interested, doing other things at the same time or shes chatting with others too.

    Back when I was dating, it almost always was a sign that she was boring -OR- that someone else was in the room and she didn’t want to speak freely.

    Nowadays, it is also possible that she is doing something else – texting, reading email, watching something on the screen, etc. Back in my dating days, a phone was in the kitchen, connected by a wire to the wall, and if I wanted privacy, I would take the phone into the basement stairwell landing and shut the door until it hit the phone cord.

  • Chris_B February 9, 2009, 2:59 AM

    for $450 you could expect any number of Torah violations…

    FWIW the brick wall happens in the secular world too. I’m so VERY glad to be married and not have to deal with all that stuff.

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