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An Ignorant Ashkenazic guy makes fun of Sephardim

And you think Obama is part of Al Quieda?

I have gotten many complaints over the years about my lack of posts dedicated to making fun of sephardim. My response is always the same, first of all I am white, second of all I have no chest hair, my name isn’t Dudu and I don’t pronounced my “CH” like I have a mothball stuck in my throat while hocking a loogie. I also grew up in a predominantly asheknzaic area and my exposure to sephardim was limited to a few key events such as eating at pizza stores in New York which are run by a racket of price fixing sephardic guys who speak in Hebrew and Russian with a English-Spanish Hybrid which they use to boss their illegal immigrant pizza makers around and to repeatedly ask the same person in line if they are being served by saying “whatdoyouwant” really fast in Spanglish.

I remember hearing about the brown Jews who wore white talesim and smelled bad from other people. I remember hearing about this elusive group of Jews that were all orthodox even though the women dressed in extremely tight vein constricting jeans and the men never wore yarmulkes outside of shul.

As I grew older I became more exposed to this clan of Jews, my shul on the upper west side was strapped for cash so they rented out the weekday shul to a bunch of Yemenites who used to sound like a bunch of dying Muslim cows on their way to slaughter when they lained, they would also lain uncelus which I had always thought was Rashis uncle Louis. Turns out that the head of that congregation struck it rich when he decided to open up an authentic hold in the wall falafel joint on the upper west side which wreaked of Sephardim not in a smelly way, just in the way that any place open till 4 in the morning patronized by after hours singles and grimy looking unshaven brown folks who seemed to be born in a falafel joint with a cigarette hanging from their lips.

Then I went to high school and it all changed, I finally got to live in close proximity to authentic Sephardim, the Sephardim on the upper west side are kind of like the token black guy in movies or the Asian guy in Starbucks ads, they are classic out of place Sephardim that find the one guy that speaks Hebrew or Arabic in shul and sits with his arm around him talking really loudly about other people on the last bench (I always think Sephardim are talking bad about Ashkenazim when they meet each other in an ashkenazic shul)

As I was saying high school put me in touch with real Sephardim, or as reall as you could be in a yeshiva environment far removed from the works of the Ben Ish Chai and the Baba Sali. We had several Bucharians, Syrians and Moroccans who wore those white talesim and were mistaken to be Spaniards by the locals. I remember several things about this group of tough outcasts, they all wore wife beaters, loved beating each other up and listened to the worst Israeli techno you could find, they were also the only 14 year old boys I knew that could grow a full beard in 3 days.

As I grew older I learned more and more about Sephardim, I learnt that the women are smoking hot but the men are all fat, bald and short by the age of 50. I learned that there is such a thing as a white Sephardic person such as fellow blogger Jacob Da Jew, I also found out that besides for the pizza and falafel business Sephardim were involved in diamonds, car services and handymen businesses. I also found out that every out of town place has to have the token Sephardic home improvement maven, whos wife teaches Hebrew at the local day school.

I have dated some Sephardic girls and they all introduced to me to hairy women just joking they introduced me to kibbe, meat pies and my hatred for cilantro (I know its cusk but I cant stand it) I also found out the Sephardic women are tough cookies, I like them for that reason and that they like nice cars.

Later on in my Sephardic education which was never really any good judging from the pathetic ignorance of this post I discovered that Sephardim were like ashkenzaim, I always used to think that once you pronounced Chachum like Hachum you were part of some secret club that drank Arak and longed for the old days before the Shah, but then I found out that there was strife, similar to that of the Ashkenazim accept it wasnt based on the color of yarmulke you were and whether or not you had a white tablecloth on shabbos or Shabbat, it was more cultural like the Syrians or SYs as they are called didnt like the Iranians or the Bucharians had beef with the Iraqis not really sure what the inner fightings are I just know they exist. Maybe it has to do with the pizza price fixing racket.

The first Sephardic wedding I attended was in Detroit and I was disappointed because my friend a very brown Egyptian married a very white Ashkenazi girl without any facial hair, the only thing Sephardic about the wedding was when I asked the father what he felt about the interracial couple he responded that his daughter needed a good beating every month or so wow theres a real stereotype, do Sephardic men really beat their wives? Or is that just an Ashkenazi libel made to make us feel better? Oh and why on earth do Ashkenazi Jews hold of the Shulchan Aruch if he was Sephardic?

As you can see I am a very ignorant unknowing Ashkenazi Jew who knows absolutely nothing about the Sephardic community. In fact I bet you many people feel exactly like I do, I kind of wish I knew more so I could write about it. One trip to Forest Hills or Pico Robertson just isn’t good enough for really making fun of them.

Now for the kicker, if anyone could write something for me to post up here that can mnake fun of the Sephardim from and insiders perspective then I would love ya for it because I feel bad for the Sephardim who read my blog, a blog devoted to white Ashkenazim that never even mentions those weird brown dudes with the white talesim.

Sephardim also eat this cake-like food called Ka’ak which is pronounced like the slang for penis.

Stay tuned for sephardic facts, questions I have about sephardim and an interview of a real live sephardic Jew…

I would say its sephardic week but I always change my mind mid week.

{ 227 comments… add one }
  • Ariella January 25, 2009, 2:35 AM

    I am clutching myself while laughing my brains off!

  • s(b.) January 25, 2009, 2:52 AM

    That’s funny, my Israeli uncle is a contractor. His wife, who’s sephardic (up my zaid’s (z”l) side) is an English studies teacher at a local ashkenaz black-hat yeshiva.

  • Frum Satire January 25, 2009, 3:14 AM

    Hey I said I can’t get it perfect but I think its time for me to start making fun of our brown-kibbe eating brethren

  • RE January 25, 2009, 7:04 AM

    And I suppose you think that Moshe Rabbeinu walked through the desert in a straimel! You got the pizza bit dead on though – lol

  • Michal bas Avraham January 25, 2009, 7:20 AM

    No, that’s REALLY accurate. The girls are really slutty with tight jeans and too much make up. The men are downright RE-PUL-SIVE. They act like they own women on the street or whereever they see you. They think women are supposed be married by 20 and men can wait until their 50. (you wonder why their women don’t want their own men?) and yes, the wife beating thing is true. They beat their kids, too, actually.

    • Michael Schonberger (Do not let the name mislead you we changed it after we fled spain in 1492) October 26, 2009, 2:43 PM


      • Heshy Fried October 26, 2009, 2:58 PM

        Woa take a chill man, this was all in good fun requested to be written by the thousands of sephardic folks who read this here blog – the commenters don’t reflect my opinions which are only praise for the pizza and falafal that sephardim make – I also love kibbe and those cool hats that Ovadia Yosef wears.

        • Michael Schonberger (Do not let the name mislead you we changed it after we fled spain in 1492) October 26, 2009, 5:18 PM


          • Ashkenazi son in law December 11, 2009, 8:19 AM

            I think you are a troll and not sephardic

            • Gordon Davidescu January 15, 2013, 1:27 PM

              Obvious troll is obvious

        • MizrachiJewNYC! December 27, 2014, 7:59 AM

          This blog is disgusting. Jews of color experience a lot of driscriminaton and stereotypes like people of color in America such as Blacks. People who are white and In power always use their status to look down on everyone else. I hate how Ashkenazi Jews think they are better than everyone else. When by the end of the day in nazi Germany no body cares if you were sefardi, Mizrachi or Ashkenazi “a good Jew was a dead jew”. As someone mentioned before , this isn’t very Jewish , we should be praising each others cultural accomplishments rather than putting them down. Isn’t it enough for the world to hate on Jews and now I need more ignorant Jews to hate within. Btw HeshyFried my uncle was one of the rabbis of the Yemenite shul at that upper west side shul you have mentioned. The Yemenites are loving , creative and probably the most unified Jews from all groups. No other Jewish group will have a such a high integration of Haredim and Chiloni (secular) Jews in one community but the Yemenites. Yemenite Jews not only show ahavat yIsrael. But there pronounciation of the Torah is the most accurate that what was used centuries ago. Start looking into the wonderful things about Mizrachi and sefardi Jews and you’ll
          Be shocked. One last thing, Yemenites are not sefardim, so if your going to write a article on Jews as a Jewish writer you should know your Jewish history. I think Solomon schecter probably enjoyed your company because your parents donate millions to the JCC and their school

      • Cheryl July 29, 2010, 1:32 AM

        My mother was sephardic from Portugal My father Ashkenzi from
        Poland. I grew up in a conservative New England family so
        I’m not sure what you are talking about as none of what you say is
        familar to me. I married an Italian catholic from NJ & we’ve been married 22 yrs, we have what you would call & interfaith marriage
        & have raised our son with both religions. My mother’s family
        are very kind & good people. They are well educated & I was
        raised to respect all religions & ethnic backgrounds.

        • that was funny January 26, 2011, 7:01 AM

          whats your point?! this isnt an AA meeting.

      • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 3:54 AM

        Yes! It’s so true! This is the major problem we face in the larger community. So many Ashkenazim will find every single little flaw, and paint all Sepharadim and Mizrahim with the same brush. The fact of the matter is that in the Ashkenazi world, the religious people become blind to the non-religious Ashkenazim b/c they have their own movements. In the Sepharadi and Mizrahi world we’ve always been integrated so the less religious among us travel in many of the same circles as the most religious (mostly non-Chassidishe) Ashkenazim, and therefore they see the girls in tight skirts. The sad thing is they are not intelligent and sophisticated enough to figure it out or they’re just too damned ignorant and uneducated to know these basic truths right in front of them.

        Because an Ashkenazi girl on the same observance level would generally not be caught dead around the Orthodox girls “they don’t exist”, or because they dress like goyim and get lots of nose jobs and dye their hair blodne, they blend into the goyish world, and again, they “don’t exist!”

        Wake up and smell the coffee! Instead of calling these girls sluts, why not try to stop being ignorant racist nutcases and try and inspire them to do better. The fact that likes of Michal make the religion into obnoxious and oppressive drudgery, and their society devalues and delegitimizes the traditional Sephardic way, many of these younger people feel they need to choose between being cool and modern, or being an oppressed religiously crazed nutcase, and so they naturally chose the former. It’s time both sides stood up for truth and decency and cut the crap!

        • An Observation September 2, 2014, 5:04 AM

          Completely true. I have the utmost respect for Ashkenazi haredi traditions, if it is what these people believe in, but it really saddens me when I

          • An Observation September 2, 2014, 5:16 AM

            Sorry, accidentally posted without finishing.


            Completely true. I have the utmost respect for Ashkenazi haredi traditions, if it is what these people believe in, but it really saddens me when I see Sephardim and Mizrahim adopting customs that are not their own because they believe them to be more pious, which they are not–they are simply of a different tradition. Speaking of which, all that heavy clothing that black hatters wear were probably developed in–gasp!–a cold climate. SO of course it’s more traditional and at one point was more practical to dress this way. I know that many Mizrahi Jews (my grandmother is Syrian, for example, so I see a lot more of that than narrower Sephardi [Judeo-Spanish] custom) have a certain degree of modesty, it’s just that it has adapted to the countries that they have immigrated to largely. Muslims, who they were surrounded by, have a big divide between the home and outside (so it becomes a part of the culture), and the clothing women would wear at home was slightly less covering, and more what they wanted to wear, because they were surrounded by family only, while outside they’d drape some sort of covering over themselves. I think that the thing is that the outer clothing has largely gone away. Anyway, don’t really know where I’m going with this, but yeah. These edot are not Ashkenazi so they shouldn’t act like it. They should take pride in their traditions.

      • jonny November 7, 2011, 7:37 PM

        TRUE, U ARE 100% RIGHT MY BROTHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Sabababababa September 5, 2013, 8:04 PM

        Ashkenazi girls are !@#$ing annoying as hell?

        want to be enslaved for life? marry a frum ashkenazi girl.

      • Anni Entertainer Robinson October 30, 2015, 11:40 PM

        these fake jews ASHKE..NAZI JEWS should just reconvert to the native religion they had before they converted to judaism from kazan south russia…why hitler killed them cause they where dragging the name of judhism down…make it look bad…..and so GOD panished them…and they laugh about the REAL JEWS? yes the brown people my father is a moroccan jew is blond blue eyes…my mother from spain jew and me too….we are brown….please don’t tell me that moses was ashke..nazi jew???and so all our prophets….? you are FAKE JEWS…and because of you all other jews suffer …look what you are doing in israel,,you rule israel with brutality..real jews never felt the need to rule…they where living 2000 to 3000 in the middle east and north africa way before islam…they had no need to colonize…and that because the real jews are waiting to our masiah until then israel does not belong onlly to the jews…..all religion should live there…sure israel is a jewish country..but not the way we got it…in 1948….that was not the way….lets not talk about the ashke..nazi mossad that went to morocco and picked jews with their boats to go be slaves in israel…while they enjoyed a lifestyle of kings..from the german money…which until today i think maybe only 250.000 jews where killed that is all ..but the fake jews are MONEY UNGRY THEY WANT MONEY…MORE MONEY.. and what an amazing propaganda that was ..that now they could have a land….where people existed …in the kabblah it says..A REAL JEW should respect the others, ..a real jew should help others, a real jew should live in harmony with others…..does the Ashke..nazi jews does that???you have no respect you put every body down….and we the real jews suffer.

        • HaveYourCake November 25, 2016, 12:50 PM

          You do know that there was a huge DNA study of the Kohanim right? And it completely DISPROVED the Kazan theory. You do know this right?

    • Anonymous December 25, 2011, 8:31 AM

      you are the most ignorant, racist, naiive, person on this website. maybe when you get older, some sense will enter that narrow mind of yours and you will realize what you are saying.

    • Spencer Tolley June 29, 2018, 1:01 PM

      Some Sephardim like me had their heritage hidden from them. I think you are describing a stereotype more befitting a Middle Eastern immigrant than one who is descended from the Hebrews of the Iberian Peninsula en masse. I do stress the word STEREOTYPE, and will fiercely defend the assertion that this gross exaggeration simply cannot be applicable across the board. In the end, whether Sephardi or Ashkenazi or maybe even Mishrazi, we are the same mighty nation, the same sons and daughters of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. So some of us are hairy and some not so much- so what? So some of us like more European-style dishes and some more Spanish/Mediterranean/Middle Eastern- so what? We know our forefathers and we all bear that heritage with pride. It’s good enough for me.

  • prili January 25, 2009, 9:56 AM

    Michal, how do you know this is a fact? Are you involved in every sephardic family and marrige?
    Thats pretty impressive for you to judge so many people just off of your impressions of a couple of people from your neighborhood

  • Jon the A January 25, 2009, 10:09 AM

    Great post! I live among a lot of Sephardim and I was laughing at all your stereotypes because they seem so true. Observations I’ve noticed:

    * The men are mainly uneducated, yet have very strong opinions about things they know little-to- nothing about

    * Every sephardic community devolves into a split community with two synagogues after a massive fight shortly after it becomes a community

    * The men seem to have a tremendous love for God, bitachon and emuna and all that, but they eat trayf openly and without shame

    * The wives understand that they are second class citizens and they embrace that role

    * They are very traditional in their thinking: bring up gay rights or civil liberties and they look at you like you’re a God-hating apikorus.

    * They have a much greater reverence for their rav/chacham than Ashkenaz people do for theirs.

    * Their traditional foods suck, but they think it’s fantastic!

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:11 AM

      Wow. My reply to Michal bas Avraham goes equally for you, you nutcase.

      Let’s get some things straight:
      “* Every sephardic community devolves into a split community with two synagogues after a massive fight shortly after it becomes a community”

      Funny, you could easily have been talking about the Ashkenazic community! Remember the joke about the Jewish guy stranded on the island with three huts? Ashkenazi! You guys have more groups than we ever could with equal numbers, and I’m e not even counting groups based on ethnicity, b/c that’s what Sephardic groups are.

      * The men seem to have a tremendous love for God, bitachon and emuna and all that, but they eat trayf openly and without shame
      Again, you could just as easily be talking about Ashkenazim. Try walking into any Conservative congregation.

      * The wives understand that they are second class citizens and they embrace that role
      Ever been to Boro Park?

      * They are very traditional in their thinking: bring up gay rights or civil liberties and they look at you like youre a God-hating apikorus. See the last one! Umm.. many people are fresh out of the middle east, central Asia and north Africa. What, you were expecting millenia of cultural attitudes to disappear in a few decades? You idiot! And yes, lots of attitudes are based on Torah concepts, not much different than what you find in your Orthodox shuls. Sadly you don’t understand the fact that the Ashkenazi concept of redefining religious life and attitudes based on modern goyishe culture never existed in our world, so the range of observance levels, and range of ideas etc coexist instead of throwing the baby out with the bath water with wacky denominations with which we can count groups of people out wholesale. Tsk, tsk.

      “* Their traditional foods suck, but they think its fantastic!”
      Lot’s of non-Jews looove the majority of our cuisine styles and the staples of each. The whole concept among non-Jews (yes, I grew up around that idea half my life) that kosher (read Ashkenazic) food is tasteless, bland, heavy, unhealthy, and just plain bad has nothing to do with us. Where do you think they got THAT idea from? Now granted I’ve had really good Ashkenazic food, but you shouldn’t talk! The only thing left to say is, “Pickled herring!”

      • Orah January 30, 2011, 10:52 PM

        I’m married to the Sephardi man and I have to agree that much of Ashkenazi cuisine is indefensible. I’m ashamed of the existence of gefilte fish. Don’t even say “pickled herring” in my earshot.

        On the other hand, Sephardim are the pickiest eaters you’ll ever encounter. For one thing, they won’t eat anything that isn’t red, yellow, or brown. A trick: if you want a Sephardi to eat your Ashkenazi food, just add tons of paprika. Another option is to cook your food slowly in the oven for ten hours until it browns. Take it from, it works.

    • An Observation September 2, 2014, 5:43 AM

      OH NO. NO. Sephardi food is so much better than Ashkenazi shtetl glop. THE FOOD IS fantastic. Kaak, speaking of which is amazing (I love the sweet kaak especially. I can eat those things for hours.) Seriously. Kibbe. Mehshi. And now you’re gonna go out there and say that some big mush of barley, meat, beans, and eggs (yes, I do blaspheme against cholent!) is better than yabra? Ever tried sambusak? Hmmm?? Delicious. Fila or crumbling pastry dough, embracing cheese, and what cheese! Melty and beautiful. Sesame seeds gracing edges beautifully. Yes, I don’t really know from actual Sephardi-Sephardi food (coming from Syrian tradition here, thank you very much) but let’s just say we’re going with anything that isn’t of the gefilte fish denomination. How is that good? Fish mush encased in what, embalming fluid? Ahahah, sure. That’s better than baklawa. And yabra. And fasoulia. And mjedara, mother of all comfort food. And now you go and say that dishes born out of necessity in a land of snow where green things won’t grow (hey, that rhymed!) are better than these beautiful, delicate, sunlit dishes. Not only, too, have the wondrous foods of the people in these nations where they’ve settled influenced the Jewish palate, but the Jewish cuisine has influenced that of the goyim. Ever had bastel? That is almost definitely from Spain, and yet… People outside of Spain eat that stuff. My friend and I are not above teasing eachother about this stuff. (Example: She calls me Mazola, I call her Shmaltz). But really? I mean, sure. I like pickels. Bagels too. I am part Ashkenazi, after all. But let’s see, bagel versus kaak… KAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!!

    • Carsiente October 4, 2014, 3:54 PM

      They’re woman are second class?? Thyre not the ones who expect thyre women to have 15 kids and to get a degree on top of that !! There’s nothing second class about women staying in the house that’s the Torah u shmuck !!!ashkenazim make thyre woman provide both roles thyre curse and the men and pls pls don’t convince ureself that ure that good looking cuz ure really not most Ashkenazi men are fat too bald with big noses a fact !!!

  • YANKEL January 25, 2009, 10:59 AM

    RE – No, Moshe Rabaynu didn’t wear a streimel in the midboar, but I have seen pictures of him in a streimel, probably from later years.

    My Sefardic neighbor told me that they don’t all beat their wives. His wife walks behind him all the time that I’ve seen, but he tells me that in areas of danger the wife walks first.

    • Anonymous December 25, 2011, 8:42 AM

      yankel, your comments are shocking. you sound like a southerner who has never seen a jew before but can identify them by the horns on their head. Wife beating sefardim is a stereotype. I am shocked by how naiive you are.

  • White Sephardic Dude January 25, 2009, 11:22 AM

    Yo!!! Thanks for the shout-out, Hesh!

    Michal. Kindly desist from the stereotyping. Hesh might do it for its humor but its obvious u have an axe to grind. Plenty of “J-Dubs” beat their kids, wives etc.

  • Phil January 25, 2009, 11:57 AM

    I am lucky to have part of both cultures,my dad is from Tunisia, my mom from Hungary, so I’m a self proclaimed “vuz-cous” (askenaz = vuzvuz, spehard = couscous). To this day I can’t touch most ashkenazic food, such as herring, gefilte fish, potato salad, etc.

    Montreal has a very large French speaking sephardic community, mainly Morrocans, so I’m exposed to both cultures every day, as our shul has many sephardim that daven there due to the late minyanim. Sephardim that daven there have intoduced me to some obscure minhagim that very few people even know about:

    1) Wearing 2 pair of tefillin at the same time, Rashi and RT.

    2) Wearing RT for Mincha.

    3) Driving to shul in Tefillin, hten removing htem to go to the mikveh before devaening.

    Interestingly enough, many can quote the zohar and walk around without a kippah, it doesn’t seem to be important in their culture.

    Kashrus is another very interesting area. Sephardim have a higher standard of shechita, as bishul akum than ashkenazim, yet they have no problem using the same oven and pots for dairy, as long as you wait 24 hours between cooking the two. Our pesach guide has about 100 pages, their’s has one 2 sided printed sheet, everything else is OK.

    Our yeshiva was half morrocan growing up, most weren’t observant. They brought treif to school, didn’t wear tzitzis and most didn’t speak much English. You can imagine the culture clash and daily fights that occured with the Lubabs that didn’t know what a TV was back in those days.

    As far a stereotypes, sephardim are typically very passionate about everything.

    Most men are short, have dark skin, eyes and hair.

    They all know not to trust an arab even once he’s 6 feet under.

    Never insult a Tunisian by calling him a Morrocan, etc.

    Wife beating only occurs when the guy married a sephardi woman, who all share one thing in common with all battered women:


    • Orah January 30, 2011, 11:07 PM

      There is no halacha among Sephardim that you can use the same pots for milk and meat. Same thing goes for walking around without a kipah. People seem to forget that there are amaratzim everywhere, and the Sephardic world is no exception.

      • Anonymous December 25, 2012, 8:42 PM

        lol at the irony of an am ha`aretz calling others by his title. Sepharadim are more leniant with kashering dishes in general and specifically super leniant with glass dishes. As for the kipah, different sepharadim have different traditions regarding the importance of it, but wearing a kipah is not a halacha from any major ashki or sphardi Posek. Ovadia Yosef says to wear one only to signify to others that you are a member of shomrei torah.

  • Chris_B January 25, 2009, 12:06 PM

    “nd listened to the worst Israeli techno you could find”

    Theres good Israeli techno? For the life of me I cant find any that I can stand. ALL of it seems to be derived from the worst parts of the Ibiza techno scene.

    Side note, I’m looking to find an Israeli reggae singer, anyone who knows one can you please let me know?

  • Frum Satire January 25, 2009, 12:26 PM

    Jeez such hatred I was doing this all in good fun – where are the sephardim to fight back at these wild claims.

    Well I have some other sephardic insight posts coming up

    • that was funny January 26, 2011, 7:20 AM

      the sefardim are sitting back and thinking…really?!! these people really think we all beat our wives? wait thats about the only real negative thing that has been said and its not true for most sefardim and surely not the younger generation. in so far as michals hate filled comments, well she is judging non religious sefardim. its like if i go to a college campus and find a bunch of secular jewish girls and judge ashkenezim based on them, as an aside, 90 percent of ashkenezim arent religious with a 60 percent intermarriage rate, on the other hand, the non-religious sefardim will still go to an orthodox shul on shabbat, keep kosher in the home, keep integral parts of taharat mishpacha and intermarriage amongst sefardim is practically unheard of.
      basically our non religious is your modern orthodox and our religious is just as religious if not more so then you jdubs. so michal is just confused, nothing more.
      in so far as claiming that sefardim are either short or tall, fat or thin, well thats just plain stupidity. every group has short and tall people, fat and thin people, to say that all ashkenazi men are white, wiry, have small penis’s and are mostly geeky is just wrong (though oddly much more accurate then what phil said about sefardim.) to say that sefardi food tastes bad is like saying that mexican food tastes bad, some people love it while others dont. our food is definitely more rich then yours. what ashkenezim dont realize is that the reason they have potato kugel and gefilte fish and chulent which is mostly beans and potatoes is because you people were poor in Europe and couldnt afford meat. our food has meat and vegetables and salads. you couldnt afford such things. furthermore, why do you people have a need to speak german?!!

  • Phil January 25, 2009, 12:51 PM


    You can say many of the same things about chassidim:

    They all have 15+ kids, many have grandchildren older than their old children.

    Their homes are all messy dumps that smell like mould and pickles.

    All chassidic men have bushy, smelly beards and long peyos.

    They all cheat on their wives and sexually abuse their kids.

    Their wives are all shaved bald, abused, neglected; they are also the cause of their husbands going out to find sex elsewhere such as craigslist, as none of them know what to do in the sack.

    Don’t even get me started on Lubabs or Breslovers.

    As you see, we Jews know how to stereotype each other down to the color or socks we wear, how our peyos are twirled or if you cook your beef with hot or sweet peppers.

    Love the Achdus!

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:18 AM

      Whoa, disgusting. I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about, but what does this have to do with Sephardim? I’ve never seen a Sephardi family like that.

      What’s a Lubab?

  • Anonymous January 25, 2009, 1:09 PM

    Chris_B: Have you listened to Tomer Yosef? He’s not pure reggae by any means, but that influence is definitely there.

  • MAZAL January 25, 2009, 1:10 PM

    You are getting no comments from Sfardim because they are too busy admiring their gold chains in the mirror and crusing in their BMW’s to spend time on the internet. To the Sfardic male this site is bittle zman.

  • ShaulMN January 25, 2009, 1:14 PM

    …and then there are the special classification of Mizrahi: Persian Jews living in L.A. …ooh la la…discuss

  • White Sephardic Dude aka JdJ January 25, 2009, 1:14 PM

    WTF am I, hesh? Chopped Livah..er..”Ka’ak”?

    Lemme throw this out: F*** all u SF haters.

    Good enough, hesh?

    Y’all just jealous that you don’t kno the segulah qualites of a good piece of Ka’ak.

  • Frum Satire January 25, 2009, 1:20 PM

    I forgot to mention Ka’ak – I’ll throw a picture up

  • Phil January 25, 2009, 1:42 PM

    Ka’ak? Sounds like it belongs in your previous post, Russian for kakky? Must be an SY thing…

    Seriously speaking though, as much fun as is poked at the Sephardic minority these day, we should all remember our middle eastern roots.

    Avraham came from Iraq.
    Yitchak and Yaacov were Israeli.
    Most of the Shevatim were either Syrian or Iraqi.
    Moshe Rabbeinu as well as most of our ancestors were Egyptian.
    Mishna / Talmud Bavli was written in Iraq/Iran.
    Much of the modern day seforim we study such as Rambam, Shulcahn aruch and others were all written by sephardim.

    Want more proof that sepahrdim are the “true” Jews? Hebrew word for truth is emet.
    Alef = Algeria
    Mem = Morrocco
    Taf = Tunisia

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:20 AM

      LOL! That’s good!

    • that was funny January 26, 2011, 7:28 AM

      what happpened to syria, egypt, iraq, uzbekistan, aizerbaijan, iran, yemen, india, turkey, lebanon, israel, georgia, greece, rome…well the list goes on but there are many many sefardi jewish communities each with their own particular food, culture, minhagim, hachamim etc. to say sefardi food is bad is silly because no two sefardi countries have the same food. to say sefardim are dark is not too accurate either, jews from georgia, azerbaijan, syria, turkey, greece etc. arent all dark skinned, not even close.

  • m00kie January 25, 2009, 1:48 PM

    sfardis feel like they walked into a funeral parlour when they walk into their ashki’s friends house – so quiet and serious and polite

    sfardis would rather starve or disown their children than eat a piece of gefilte fish

    sfardis ARE always mocking ashkis

    sfardis who dont are sellouts and no one likes them

    sfardi women are the reason theres no otd and kids at risk in the sfardi community – they nurse their kids on pure unadulterated emunah from the day theyre born

    sfardi women are just as turned off by white pale scrawny ashki men as the ashki men are of the dark opinionated hairy sfardi women

    sfardi shabbos table will never lack of any drink of food from the minute you sit down until youre a block away from the house and youve escaped the hostess chasing you down with leftovers to take home

    tunisians are not moroccans, moroccans are not algerians, algerians are not syrians, syrians are not lebanese, lebanese are not iraqui, and no one really knows who the bucharians are

    sfardis will never ever ever admit that any food is too spicy and all the small talk at dinner revolves around how unspicy the hot peppers are

    arak is the sfardi windex – the be all and end all of all cures

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:33 AM

      POLITE? What world are you living in? My experience has been the other way around. Real, true Sephardim can be very cultured and traditionally we prided ourselves on being neat and mannerly: it was the mark of a good Sephardic upbringing, and is still true today. Unfortunately, many people have picked up Arab ways and behavior, I MUST SAY, not all really Sephardim (you Ashkenazim like to lump all non Ashkenazim together as Sephardim, a fact that we ST really resent! Yes, I said it! ST!)

      Did you say Shabbos?

      Real Sephardim who know the real halakha would never chase anyone down to take leftovers unless they left after habdallah, or live on one of a small handfull of kibussim or moshabim with a real erub! Yerushalayim’s “Old City” doesn’t even have one! Those in the know know what I mean. HAS W’HALILA someone should do that, and violate the Shabbath and encourage someone else to do the same! Sounds like you’ve become assimilated and Ashkenazified, and you need cleansing brother! Those strings on sticks don’t count and are an Ashkenazi invention.

      Speak for yourself! Anyone who can read wikipedia knows some basics about who the Bukharians are! What planet are you living on? What is crystal clear is they’re not Sephardic.

      La vida do por el raki! Yo no pwedo desharlo!

      • Anonymous July 8, 2013, 6:56 AM

        I love and miss Ladino. My mom always sais “A’jo”.

  • RC January 25, 2009, 3:44 PM

    I bet you’re proud of your racism. You must think you’re very funny. Shame on you and this thread, which is filled with gross speculation.

    Many of your readers have suggested despicable things about Mizrahim/Sephardim. Our husbands treat us with respect. We are not second-class citizens. We love our children and we’re traditional. Certainly that is none of your business. We are not harming you. But your ARE harming us with your disgusting innuendos.

    If you don’t like our food, don’t eat it. I don’t like your gefilte (pickled fish) and fatty foods but I don’t write disturbing threads about Ashkenazim making fun of your pasty white appearance, facial features and mannerisms.

    You find us unattractive and dirty, but the truth is that people who hate Jews will often describe all Jews in such a way. I have been to many Ashkenazi homes. With all due respect, you’re not cleaner and your food isn’t better. You’re not particularly attractive either.

    After dating a few Ashkenazi guys, I have been turned off from the lot of you. These kinds of comments are specifically disgusting. I deplore racism. Besides, Sephardi men are far more protective and respectful while you only see Mizrahi women as sexual objects.

    It’s people like you that make Jews look bad. You have forgotten your roots and your thread is embarassing.

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:36 AM


      Preach sister!

      • Miriam Sultan March 28, 2016, 1:44 PM

        Thank you, RC, for sharing your thoughts. I am shocked and repulsed by this article and the comments that followed. I cannot believe that people – fellow human beings – are writing such hateful comments about others. Instead of judging individuals on their cultural/ethnic “label,” wouldn’t it be interesting to distinguish what character traits bother you and choose to surround yourself with people who don’t possess those undesirable attributes?
        I feel so sorry for the people who feel a need to insult or put down others. You possess an unwarranted superiority and you have much growth to complete. I wish for you – the ones who generalize based on racial or cultural differences – that you find peace within yourselves and that you have the opportunity live your life with authenticity and substance.

        Miriam Sultan

  • RC January 25, 2009, 3:55 PM

    If you’re going to post satire in the future my advice is to leave Sephardim/Mizrahim out of it. You and your readers sound utterly demented. I am sure a pro-Palestinian would love reading the blatant racism here so that he or she can claim that all Jews and Israelis are racists.

  • RC January 25, 2009, 4:08 PM

    If you don’t like our food, don’t eat it. I don’t like Ashkenazi food (which is fatty) but I would never write a sick thread like this or post comments such as the ones your readers have.

    Our husbands treat us with respect in our communities. That is more than what I can say for Ashkenazi men who look at Mizrahi women as sexual objects. After dating a couple, I was put off from the lot of you. I could say that Ashkenazi men are weaklings and uninspired, but that would be rude.

    We love our children and we’re traditional. Certainly that is none of your business. We’re not harming you. If you don’t like our food, don’t eat it. Our Ashkenazi brothers and sisters apparently have no qualms about exhibiting their racism for all to see on the web.

    We’re also a lot cleaner in our homes than our Ashkenazi counterparts. With all due respect, if you go into an Ashkenazi home you’ll find clutter and dirt. Mizrahi families are particularly clean. Maybe you find us dirty because of the color of our skin. If that is the case, you need psychological help.

    The generation today is filled with people who go to university and graduate. To suggest we’re less intelligent is a disgusting display of racism on your part.

    This thread is disgusting. Absolutely sickening. I am ashamed of Jewish people who commented so absurdly. I am ashamed that a self-proclaimed ignorant Ashkenazic thinks he’s funny for making fun of Mizrhai diet, intellect and appearance, and even acknowledges that he knows nothing.

    You’re all despicable racists who are speculating about something you have no idea about.

    If you’re wondering why Mizahi Jews aren’t rushing to defend ourselves, it’s because we don’t read this garbage. Someone sent this to me in the morning with a somber note about how “racist” these European Jews who commented to this post are. We know that many Ashkenazi Jews used to be racists against us. Our parents certainly saw it during the foundation of the State of Israel, where our parents fought in the military far more than Ashkenazi Jews did. But I had hoped that there would be less of this racism in 2009 now that people should be wiser.

  • RC January 25, 2009, 4:31 PM

    MAZAL, he’s not getting comments because Sephardim who see this garbage think you’re all despicable racists.

    Shame on all of you.

    You all make the Nazis proud with your innuendos and baseless stereotypes.

  • Heterim are for Hippies January 25, 2009, 5:54 PM


    Shut up.

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:39 AM

      Eat what you’re shoveling, dirtbag!

  • sphardi gal January 25, 2009, 6:14 PM

    at risk of sounding like a typical, submissive sfardi girl, i must say that i am really disappointed hesh.
    try to do some research next time.
    you might find just as much diversity among the sfardi community as the ahkkenazic one.

    I’m white, not hairy, with green eyes.
    i say the aayin and the het.
    i LIKE dark hairy guys.
    I never wear tight jeans- only skirts.

    and although i am open to teasing about being sfardi, i did not find this funny (except for a couple of lines that cracked me up)

  • RC January 25, 2009, 6:37 PM

    Heterim are for Hippies:

    Stop being consumed by irrational fear and hatred. You’re sick.

  • Mark January 25, 2009, 6:42 PM

    My brother-in-law is real Temani. When I go to Bet Knesset with him, if I lose the place even once, that’s it, I am lost for the duration until some transition in the tefilla. They also live in a real Temani place (in Sha’ariya in Petach Tikvah) and his mother is an excellent cook. I think all the Temani grandmas are excellent cooks.

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:49 AM

      That’s because you just don’t know what you’re doing. Teimanim are not Sephardim. They’re masora is quite different. It’s funny. This is something Ashkenazima are ALWAYS complaining about, how they can’t follow other Jews services. That is because they (the complainers) never spend enough time with other Jews on their turf. I don’t recall EVER hearing a Sephardi or Mizrahi or Teimani Jew complain of this. EVER! Buck up! Try learning! It’s not that hard!

      Ask any Sephardi or Mizrahi or Teimani Jew (who goes to services) with a bunch of Ashkenazi friends how many times they’ve heard that one! Seriously! Try it. How often they shy off visiting a Sephardi or other synagogue b/c they can’t follow. They never try! Or they just bring an Ashkenazi siddur with them and almost totally ignore the service, and then look up all confused when they’re lost! Unbelievable. Even at the Spanish and Portuguese synagogue where the siddur is so clear and easy to follow (most of the time) and printed with English translation! What more do you need? It’s not even Orot which tries to be a Sephrdi Artscroll, but combines so many traditions in one, only the rabbis, hazanim and talmide hakhamim can easily follow in any given synagogue. I can understand about complaints concerning with Orot, however, here’s the kicker: at the synagogue I go to occasionally where they use it, they announce the page! What more do you want?

  • Phil January 25, 2009, 7:15 PM


    Chill out dude, it’s all in good fun. I realize some comments are on the stereotypical / racist type, but on the flip side, ashkenazim aren’t perfect either. Seems like my comments on chassidim went to the spam box. Remember that this site is about comedy and satire. If we can’t laugh about each other, who should we laugh about?

    Before you guys start knocking hairy women, you should be aware that they have more testosterone than less hairy ones, thereby making them a lot hornier (scientific fact). Just make sure to stock up on shaving cream.

    • Sabababababa September 5, 2013, 8:27 PM

      are you sure that was a compliment?

  • RC January 25, 2009, 8:13 PM

    I’m more concerned about the outright racist comments that people wrote in response. Many of you people weren’t trying to be funny at all. I wonder if they would ever dare make similar remarks about black people. Probably not.

    Unlike many of the Ashkenazi readers here, Mizrahi and Sephardi Jews don’t base our judgments on something as superficial as whether one wears a velvet or knitted kippah, black hat, etc. If a girl wears tight jeans, this does not indicate she is slutty. I know Ashkenazi girls who wear skirts to their ankles. They have dated non-Jews and have very loose morals. They wear a costume. That’s it.

    To assume that Mizrahi Jews are somehow dumb makes you arrogant and racist. If you don’t like our food, don’t eat it. So you’ve seen a woman following her Mizrahi husband and that means he beats his wife? What crap! A friend of mine who is Ashkenazi had a father who raped her. Does that mean all Ashkenazi men are rapists then? Of course not. How do you know what goes on in a Sephardi or Mizrahi household? You have no idea. The comments I’ve read here border on fanatical hatred against anything that isn’t white and European.

    And to the author of the piece: the people you’ve amused are predominately racists and bigots. They fear what they do not know. You’re not funny.

    • Sabababababa September 5, 2013, 8:28 PM

      im not sure you can call it ‘racist’ because they’re all the same race: Jews.

      maybe you should call it ‘whiteist’?

  • Jacob da Jew January 25, 2009, 8:27 PM

    For the record, Yemenites are NOT sefardim at all.

  • m00kie January 25, 2009, 8:45 PM

    Rc – from the comments it would seem that the people FS amused the most are mostly sfardis…

  • Mark January 25, 2009, 8:53 PM

    For the record, Yemenites are NOT sefardim at all.

    But they are part of the Edot Hamizrach. And that’s close enough for me 🙂

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:53 AM

      Not really. Talmidei hakhamim I’ve spoken to would NOT label Yemenites as Mizrahim. They’re too distinct to be lumped with ANYBODY else, I’ve made that mistake too.

      “And that’s close enough for me”

      Yeah, because you’re an ignoramus.

  • Frum Satire January 25, 2009, 9:07 PM

    I think RC gets it – the whole point of this post was to try and show you that I know absolutely nothing about sephardic culture other then eating their food and playing tongue twister with some cute sephardic girls.

    As with most of my posts that stereotype people – the folks that are most amused are the people I am making fun of. I also think that many people didn’t get the fact I was really making fun of how stupid Ashkenazim are with regards to these issues and I guess the comments prove me right although they were quite hate filled and un called for.

  • RC January 25, 2009, 9:07 PM


    Some of the racist comments I read came from people who started our their post saying something along the lines of… “I live among Sephardis and….”

    Doesn’t sound like they’re Sephardim or Mizrahim to me. In fact, even “Jacob da Jew” had to tell Michal to calm it down because her tone was absolutely disgusting.

    I have had enough of this thread. We don’t beat women in our community. We’re not dirty. And we’re not dumb.

    It really saddens me that Jews behave this way. This is meaningless hatred. It is spiteful. It is disgusting. There is nothing funny about it.

    For the record, I have never read this blog before.

    My friend, who is Mizrahi, sent me this post and was dismayed. I am a female Mizrahi. Interesting… I have dated Mizrahi men and found them to be endearing, sweet and perfectly fine. They weren’t ugly or stupid. And the men in my family are all over six feet and have never beaten their wives. Please stop perpetuating lies and hatefulness.

    I don’t think making fun of Jews in such vulgar ways is acceptable at all. Certainly we have enough enemies already.

    Good day.

  • Leah Kleim January 25, 2009, 9:45 PM

    I knew she was a virgin frum satire reader

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:56 AM

      And that’s supposed to make it aaaaalll bettaaaa, huh? What a tool. She’s right, that’s exactly why we don’t read this crap. I happened to be searching and I found this junk. The whole idea that it is supposed to be “frum satire” and this is what passes for “frum” is what is really sad. One of the many reasons I would not ever use that word to describe myself, even though frum girls in Monsey tried to heap it on me. They (most of them) just really didn’t get it.

  • Phil January 25, 2009, 9:51 PM


    You’re what gives sephardi women a bad name, namely blowing up at people for a couple jokes done in good humor. You’re so uptight one would need a tow truck to pull a needle out of your ass.

    You really need to relax. Hesh has poked fun a all sects of Judaism including chasidim, snags, lubabs and BT’s. Does that make all us readers a bunch of neo nazi white supremacist Jews?

    It’s called satire. If you don’t appreciate or understand it, go stir the dafina and make some couscous or mofletas 😉

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:57 AM


  • Phil January 25, 2009, 10:21 PM


    Many middle eastern Jews aren’t sephardim in the true sense of the word, i.e. Jews from Spain. Many were in arab countires before Jews ever reached Spain. However, many accepted minhagim of the Jews that were fleeing from religious persecution in Spain and took refuge in moslem countries. This was likely due to the fact that they were generally more educated, and came with a background of great tzadikim such as Rambam, Ramban, Abarbanel, etc.

    On a separate note, following the laws of minhag hamakom, North America should have been declared as “sephardi” from the get go, as historic records prove that they were he before ashkenazim. Just as sephardim that ran away to Holland ended up as ashkenazim, theoretically, all Eastern Europeans should have adopted sephardi minhagim when landing on these shores. Unfortunately for Sephardim, the vast majority have become “ashkenized” except for cities with large numbers.

    I guess in the long run, what goes around, comes around. The Spanish Jews that overwhelmed the Maghreb, are being overwhelmed by the Ashkenazim. Looks like the stew has more chulent then dafina and the chrein has overpowered the harissa.

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 5:00 AM

      You redeemed yourself with that post, but don’t let the chill attitude lead you down the easy path to hell! Turn or burn! Fire and brimstone!

      Whoa! Lapsed into baptist preacher mode…

      Now that’s a joke. Not that other crap people were shoveling.

  • Former Teacher January 25, 2009, 10:38 PM

    Honestly, I tried to meet a Sefardi guy the second time around, just so I can eat rice and beans on Pesach. There are just so few Sefardi guys my age!

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 5:03 AM

      Muuu uuu aaaah ha ha ha ha ha! Yes! Come to the dark er… light side. (Both at the same time actually! Get it?) They say we’re darker (sometimes true), and I dare say the road to kitniyoth is the path of light!

  • Frum Satire January 25, 2009, 11:20 PM

    All people who show up on this blog for a first time get offended – its the nature of the beast. This happens every once in a while – someone shows up never having been here and then goes insane.

    Then they either read more or just go tell their friends about how racist and offensive this blog is – either way its good. Offended people show up or they cause good discussion its a win win.

  • Daniel January 25, 2009, 11:51 PM

    I’m half Ashkenaz, half Temani and all I can say is you should be ashamed of yourself Frum Satire

    I used to watch your videos on youtube and they were funny, but this is just downright racist and disgusting.. you really make me sick and so do msot of the people posting on your blog

    I’m Ashkenaz and I can tell you that the biggest problem in the Jewish world today comes from Ashkenazi Jews. They’re the idiots who go protest with Arabs and cheer for Hezbollah. Who talk about freeing Palestine.

    And you think Ashkenazi Jews are so frum? I’m sorry to say it but soemone before posted something saying how its a costume for most of htem and its probably true.

    I’ve seen sephardi guys who dont wear a kippah who know more about Torah then lots of Ashkenazi Jews who wear a black hat.

    So all of you losers making fun of Sephardi Jews, you should be ashamed of yourself. As an Ashkenazi Jew I can say that they’re the best people in our nation. They actually live in Israel, for the most part and love Torah and Eretz Yisroel. Meanwhile you losers sit in Galus and make fun of people who are on a level much higher then you.

  • Frum Satire January 26, 2009, 12:27 AM

    Daniel its funny because I never get such a harsh reaction when I make fun of anyone else – there really must be some crazy hatred between you people – although I never actually saw it – I live in Texas – where the sephardim and ashkenzaim dont judge by the color of skin or the color of siddur (whats the deal with sephardim and white siddurim?)

  • Ted Bleiweis January 26, 2009, 1:35 AM

    Your “humor” is disgraceful. It’s bad enough that our enemies resort to disgusting stereotypes. To have one Jew heap anti-Semitism and racism on another Jew (or denigrate anyone) is beyond reprehensible.

    Ted Bleiweis

    Orange County Independent Task Force on anti-Semitism


  • SF2K1 January 26, 2009, 1:37 AM

    These are the things I have learned from Sephardim:

    Their traditions are beautiful, and I wish our crappy Ghetto food was anywhere near as good. Yaprakes finos (dolma – Stuffed grape leaves) or Hummus and Schg is 10 times as appetizing as crappy ground up fish. I’m Ashkenazi (German/Russian) and I HATE gefilte fish and most cholents.

    They are far more traditional in their beliefs. Even if they guy doesn’t keep shabbos or kosher, when it comes to Judaism, they know what is right, and when he has to daven, he won’t settle for less than a full mechitzah minyan.

    They have a greater spiritual attachment to Judaism than us ashkies.

    They have true respect and honor for their Rabbis. I’m still out on whether it’s cause their Rabbis are actually just better than ours or because of tradition. I read a book about the history of the Jews in medieval Europe where it mentioned the Jews dedication to their Rabbis being so great that if the Rabbis would declare at noon that it was nighttime, all the Jews would say the Shema and go to sleep. Maybe this is evidence for the latter being something that we’ve lost.

    They are quite unfairly discriminated against in Israel and it saddens me. I was on an airplane to Israel and I sat next to a nice Sephardi family. We were chatting and I said that I wished I was Sephardi, and the guy gave me the saddest confused look I’ve ever seen followed by a “Why?” I’m not generalizing it to anything, but I didn’t get how you could not feel that being unique was positive.

    • gyuri August 24, 2011, 11:26 AM

      Sefaradi men do not go sexually ape and lose all sense of concentration when they see a woman in shul or hear a woman singing. That is why Ashkenazi men love bald, de-sexed wives. Maybe they were not taught that God is both male and female?

  • JIDF Fanatic January 26, 2009, 6:34 AM

    stupid. not funny. racist. promoting disunity among Jews. not-so-frum either. should apologize to sephardic and Mizrahi Jews and delete this post. it’s bad enough when our enemies make up lies and stereotype us – Jews shouldn’t do this to other Jews. This is just racist drivel, as are many of the comments. Thus, it “frum satire” should be treated like the racist he is.

    • Michael Schonberger January 25, 2011, 5:14 AM

      I agree with you 100%. To the one who called me non-sephardi, I call you a liar! My history does not lie! I am sephardi and a strong believer in ahavat Yisrael, unlike you!

  • Phil January 26, 2009, 8:37 AM

    Some ashkenazim and sephardim can’t stand each other, but most get along very well. There are always going to be squabbles even between sephardim and ashkenazim based on culture, minhag, and in general.

    Eventually, we all end up in the same bed. My grandfather, a “grana” (Jew from Livorno living in Tunisia) married a Tunsi (Jewess from Tunisian background). Historically, those groups squabbled for decades. My dad who was born and raised in Tunis married my Hungarian mom. The became BT’s through Chabad. Then I married a woman who’s ancestors were from Vilna (snag hotbed), and my sister that went to a snag school ended up marrying a Satmar. Today were one big happy family, even though we constantly poke fun at each other.

    You people with a chip on your shoulder that don’t understand comedy should find some other blog to read, or, since you seem to know it all so well, go solve some world problems, instead of ragging on a few Jews that know how to live and laugh.

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 5:17 AM

      I love Ashenazim. I can’t stand idiot racists. Unfortunaely, there are a lot of them running around amongst aheinu Ashkenazim. I’ve always attended Ashenazi shuls, and I love and respect my local Ashkenazi community here. I belong to a Sephardic synagogue, but I don’t live there. My beef is not with Ashkenazim, but with the idtiot racist Ashkenazim that give all of them a bad name. I’ll never forget how the rebbetzin at my former shul said, the Ashkenazim have basterdized Judaism. I was dumbfounded. She’s Ashkenazi by birth. Very sad. I don’t think that is a true statement. I think some have contributed to the general obnoxious trends we see today, but not all Ashkenazim, that’s not fair. And let’s not forget, we do have some undesirabless on our side too, like the Ramban, as well as some of these haredi Shas nuts who are always making declarations which make Jews look like idiots.

      • Yoreh K'chetz January 25, 2011, 6:37 AM

        Ramban = undesireable ??? What planet are you from ???

  • Dinky Londoner January 26, 2009, 10:31 AM

    I think RC’s comments were totally justified – the original post may have been satire, but some of the comments (eg. Michal’s) were not, and came close to racism.

    If people had used this language against Jews in general (esp. in the current climate) we’d all be yelling antisemetism.

    I’m a regular reader of this blog and love most of the posts & comments, but the reaction to RC’s objections annoyed me even more than the original comments themselves. There is a limit.

  • Phil January 26, 2009, 11:34 AM


    Michal did sounds anti sephardic, but calling her a racist / anti semitic is absurd as she is a recent convert to Judaism. Why would she convert if she hated Jews?

    RC over-reacted by freaking out and posting a bunch of comments equating us to anti semites and nazis, in addition to trying to dispell the satirical stereotypes that were brought up, as if people actually take this blog seriously. WTF did she / you expect?

    Whats’s next? Should we lynch Jacky Mason for making fun of Jews, or Chris Rock and Eddy Murphy for calling blacks niggas?

  • Yochanan January 26, 2009, 11:59 AM

    What ab0ut gigantic rapper-sized Chai-pieces?

  • F January 26, 2009, 12:13 PM

    I read your blog regularly, as I am sure many do, and you have been one of the few in my blogroll as well.
    Here’s a meme, if you do them.
    I am tagging all those blogs that are regulars on my read list with this meme.
    Here’s the meme. Maybe you’ve heard the “This, I believe” NPR program?
    This may be too earnest for the theme of this site. But it can be done in satire as well. It would be funny:

    Write twenty sentences starting with, “I believe”. It can be silly or serious. I was in a philosophical mindset when I wrote mine.

    I’d love to include a link to your answer in this post.

  • Mark January 26, 2009, 12:16 PM

    Well, let’s see what we’ve learned about Ashkenazim in this thread of comments:

    1. Ashkenazim are generally ignorant about Sefardim. Mostly false.

    2. Moshe Rabeinnu wasn’t Ashkenazi because he didn’t walk around the desert in a shtreimel.

    3. Many Askenazis think that all Sefardi girls wear tight jeans. I guess they’ve never been to Israel, for example.

    4. Ashkenai (Chassidic) wives are all bald and not sexually attractive enough, so their husbands mess with children and women other than their wives. And they all have smelly beards.

    5. Ashkenazim eat gefilte fish and fatty foods. Not this one, I mostly hate gefilte fish.

    6. Ashkenazim look at Sefardi girls as sex objects.

    7. Ashkenazim aren’t “particularly attractive”.

    8. Ashkenazi men are weaklings and uninspired. Not this one, I served in the IDF alongside the best of them (Sefardi and Ashkenazi, and Druze and Bedouin for that matter).

    9. Ashkenazi homes aren’t as clean as Sefardi homes.

    10. Ashkenazim exhibit racism for all to see.

    11. After dating a few Ashkenazi boys, some get turned of of all Ashkenazim.

    12. Sefardim fought more than Ashkenazim during the founding of Israel. Probably not true as the vast majority of Sefardim came to Israel after it’s founding.

    13. Ashkenazi frumkeit is just a “costume” for most of them.

    14. Sefardim live in Israel and love Torah. Ashkenazim live in Galut and love to make fun of people.

    15. Sefardim “are the best people in the nation”.

    16. Ashkenazim eat “crappy Ghetto food”.

    17. Ashkenzim don’t have true respect for their Rabbis. Probably true in many cases.

    18. Sefardim use a “full mechitza” for their minyanim.

    Wait a second …. I thought this who line of discussion was anti-Sefardi, but it also looks like it is anti-Ashkenazi.

    Finally ….

    19. Ashkenazim apparently can laugh at satire while Sefardim can’t. Or maybe Sefardim are hotheads? :-)))))

    That said, there is still plenty of racism against Sefardim (not necessarily here in this discussion). In 1995/6, before I was married, I shared an apartment with an Israeli guy in Yerushalaim. His parents were very well-off Ashkenazim and owned a few apartments in Yerushalaim, one of which was the one they gave to their son that I shared (and paid rent to the son). One time, and only one time, they invited me for a meal on Shabbat, and there was much conversation at the table about all sorts of topics, including politics, shuls, singles, etc. During a discussion about singles and shidduchim, the father (who appeared to be a very respectable family man, and businessman, to me at the time) made a comment including the phrase “Shvartze Chaya” to refer to Sefardim. I thought I didn’t hear right and said “Excuse Me”, and he repeated it with no shame whatsoever, and thought that being an Oleh Chadash I didn’t understand what he said. I hadn’t heard that phrase used anywhere since the late-70’s. I was really quite offended, and worse, disillusioned, because I thought that kind of racism was pretty much gone by the mid-90’s. Needless to say, I quickly extricated myself from that meal (regardless of all the potential shidduchim I would be missing) and never spoke to his parents again, nor did I ever accept another invitation from them. The other thing that was sad is that my flatmate brushed it off by saying that his father was a little “old fashioned” due to being part of a multi-generation Yerushalmi family. Like that is an excuse for overt racism! Late that motzai shabbat, I even called my parents in NY to ask my father if he still heard people using such language and he said no, not for 15 or 20 years, but that it was quite common when he grew up in the 40’s and 50’s in Israel. Of course, he also remembered how the Yekkes (us) were made fun of by the Sefardim and by various other Ashkenazim.

    Shortly thereafter we both were married and I haven’t been in contact with him (the flatmate) since, but I have been in contact with most of the rest of my flatmates during those years.

  • Frum Satire January 26, 2009, 12:19 PM

    Phil why don’t we tell everyone to head over to Failed-Messiah shouldn’t he be considered an anti-semite yet the guy writes for the forward and NY Times- oh wait those two are anti-semitic.

    What about all the anti-chabad sentiment, or anti-charedi sentiment I don’t hear these liberals yelling anti-semite over there.

    • Anonymous January 25, 2011, 4:43 PM

      Don’t get me started on anti-Chabad! I’ll tell you from first hand experience that I developed a bona fide, panic attack inducing Chabad phobia from hanging around Chabadniks. Try reading The Rebbe, The Messiah, and The Scandal of Orthodox Indifference. It’s so true. The sad thing is Chabad is on the receiving end of lots and lots of unprecedented Orthodox indifference just as Rabbi D. Berger says. My hakham does not allow us to drink any Chabad wine or eat Chabad meat as they are lo kasher / taref, trayf, Not kosher! Flat out! You’d do better with Hebrew National! True, there are lots of great and normal Chabadniks out there who don’t believe M.M.S. is the mashia, in hiding, going to raise from the ohel to usher in the messianic age, or that he is the devine emination on the earth as a former Chabadnik friend told me. I saw girls watch rebbe videos for hours and become glazed over. I saw the most extreme behavior ever. As a person who frequents NYC, yehi kippahs, yellow flags and Mishichist sukka mobiles and mitzvah tanks are non an uncommon site. This sukkoth I freaked out when I saw a yechi kippah sitting on the table in the chabad sukkah in Union Square Park. I wanted to leave ASAP. Why do they put pictures of the Rebbe in the sanctuary (any pictures are bad there, but his stands alone)? I could go on forever, but I won’t.

  • Jessica January 26, 2009, 12:33 PM

    There’s a whole website dedicated to making fun of the Syrian community. It’s called the Enclave. I don’t have the url, sorry, but I’ m sure you can google it.

  • Phil January 26, 2009, 12:58 PM


    Looks like the dark skinned, grimy, hairy, unshaven, smelly, hotheaded, wife beating, kak eating viewers forgot to laugh this time around.

    If they just had a few shots of Arak with their lipstick and tight jeans wearing, testosterone rich (hairy/horny) women, they might be a bit less hotheaded and show some more love instead of beating them for not listening all the time. They might then be more receptive to laughing about our differences.

    • Anonymous January 26, 2011, 1:17 AM

      What’s your problem Phil? That stuff is just not funny. This has nothing to do with being uptight, taking a joke or anything like that. There are jokes in good taste, and then there is the crap on this page, including at least several of your replies.

      To me, you’re a traitor. You betray Sephardim for some really low brow, uncouth, disgusting and unsavory poor excuses for humor. We’re not the ones who need to get over ourselves, you need to grow up and learn how to be decent.

      • Yoreh K'chetz (aka Phil) January 26, 2011, 4:19 AM


        Soooo sorry my humour isn’t up to your standards. You know absolutely nothing about me, my life or my observance. Before you go around calling people traitors or anything else, make sure you have your facts straight, otherwise you appear to be an idiot. And once your at it, you may want to have that pipe in your ass removed.

    • An Observation September 2, 2014, 5:55 AM

      That just doesn’t seem okay to me.

  • Phil January 26, 2009, 1:08 PM


    One more thing:

    To all those week, bleeding gefilte fish /herring / chopped liver eating, perverted, adultering, vuzvuzes that have issues with people that know how to live and laugh, I suggest you go back to bashing arabs for hating us, kind of like the guy from “octaskforce”.

  • m00kie January 26, 2009, 2:04 PM

    im still convinced that none of the poeple whining about this post are actually sfardis.
    sfardis dont get this uptight

    • Anonymous January 26, 2011, 1:18 AM

      Get a clue mookie. I’m Sephardic, I’m not whining, and I certainly object to this crap. It’s not satire, it’s not humor, it’s just crap.

  • Frum Satire January 26, 2009, 2:16 PM

    Phil I totally forgot you were a sfardi

  • Phil January 26, 2009, 2:37 PM

    I’m a 50-50 aka vuzcous, but don’t put no gefilte fish in my couscous.

    I was raised in Chabad, took on their pronounciation, most mihagim, and tehillas Hashem, but my taste is total Tunisian.

    I’m talking harissa, mechouia, ajlouk and mekbouba, serious stuff, thank God my dad is an amazing cook. Call him or his food Morrocan and you’re a dead man.

  • Ariella January 26, 2009, 3:02 PM

    Jessica, i tried googling it. if you ever find out where it is, please share it with the rest of the class. closest thing I found was the NY tines article.

  • Ezra January 26, 2009, 3:22 PM

    I’m an SY and you should know most of us are white, in fact compared to my ashkenazi friend standing over my shoulder, reading this hillarious column, I am like a vampire I’m so much whiter skinned than him. In my house we have all the SY foods including my grandmas homemade ka’ak (which isn’t pronounced “cock” rather “K’ack”). I used to be in camp with some chaim Berlin guys and they ditched their chulent for our kibbe, some even bought their !

    Two thumbs up! From a sefardi this was funny, especialy since some of the comments showed how ignorant some of you guys are!

    PS the only Sephardim I know that are black are bucharians, yemenites, and maybe some Iraqis

  • hot January 26, 2009, 4:18 PM

    you can say whatever you want, but most SY’s i encountered in the NY area, banged many a chicks, before they got married. Even with their big yarmulkes, and thinking they grab god by the balls by never missing a Mincha. Cut the BS. But they all married 18-20 year old virgins.

    Oh, and yes, their wives are second class second citizens. Anyone living in the greater Midwood area can attest to that.

    We Jdups. as they call us, are just as messed up as they are, in our own ways. If you cant laugh at your own misnomers, move along. for god’s sake this blog is called FRUMSATIRE for a fu**en reason, sheesh, go shave your sideburns, its almost five oclock already.

  • MoFo January 26, 2009, 4:37 PM

    Michal Bat Avraham is pissed at us SY’s because we don’t accept geirim (a whole nother schmooze). But truth be told, you won’t be accepted anywhere cuz you’re a BEEYOTCH!!!

    Hesh, I’m SY and I don’t even know what Forest Hills or Pico Robertson has to do with Sephardim.

    I know this is all in good (ignorant) fun, but I gotta give it to RC for representin! You GO girl!!!

    Hesh, you really have zero idea about Sephardim, much like I am totally clueless about Upper West Side folk, Queens, Far Rockaway, etc. None of your Sephardi Rochester buddies (LC, JA, or SE) educated you very well.

  • Ariella January 26, 2009, 4:47 PM

    I was the one who suggested this idea to Hesh, and i am Moroccan. SYs are so NOT the only Sephards around.

  • MoFo January 26, 2009, 5:05 PM

    Then you should have at least coached him a little.

  • Brad January 26, 2009, 6:01 PM


    First, I am an almost regular reader of this site and I find it to be amusing. I am a sephardic guy who grew up amongst the vast flavors of ashkenazim. Which is really why I find this blog funny, because though I am pure sephardic, I know about the kiddushes that is always being highlighted, and all the nuances in ashkenazy society.

    All joking aside, what I sense in the stereotypes is not merely racism, its jealousy. Like someone up there made a comment about sephardic guys in their BMW, jealous arent ya?

    This idea that sephardic men are uneducated, there isnt really anything to argue about because obviously the one who wrote that met the same sephardic guy hesh did in the falafel shop.

    THere is also no point in responding with a long list about the obsurdities that make up ashkenazy culture and society.

    I declare tomorrow Annual – Go Meet A Sephardi Day.

    And for those who said sephardic guys were fat, bald and ugly, I would love for you to trust your wives to a sephardic guy who had weewee three times the size of yours, and looked more like Don Quixote than bill gates.

    Bottom line, we are all the same. Just as smart, and just as stupid. Just as ugly, and just as beautiful. But only the fool misses this point. The ashkenazy fools and the sephardic ones.

    The jewish soul takes the prize, not the faulty imperfect bodies that house em.

  • Ariella January 26, 2009, 6:11 PM

    MoFo, I wanted to see how he would run with this one.

    Brad- well said.

  • Phil January 26, 2009, 6:26 PM

    Funny follow up. I was eating some leftover mechouia for supper, basically a very spicy grilled salad. In my house, we call it mashiach as that’s all the kids hear about in Lubab school. My question was who wants mashiach now? One of them screams I hate mashiach! I told him what his rebbi would think if he heard that.

  • Dinky Londoner January 26, 2009, 7:49 PM

    I didn’t call Michal’s post antisemitic, I just meant to point out that if a non-Jew had used *similar* language about Jews, *we* would call it antisemitic, even if it contained a grain of truth.

    Totally agree

  • Frum Satire January 26, 2009, 8:06 PM

    Jeez I am totally posting more sephardic stuff

  • Lydia January 26, 2009, 9:46 PM

    Man, I’m taken aback by all this fighting in these comments. So many of you really need to relax and not take everything so seriously. I’ve been called all manner of insults in my time, and while it may have upset me I haven’t been horrible in my turn. Like most people, my friends and I poke fun at each other and have a laugh together.
    My family’s pretty equal parts ashkenaz and sefard, with lots of sefardi ancestry on both sides. A lot of the generalisations here are BS, but some are often true and funny.

  • Aviva J. January 26, 2009, 10:42 PM

    If you really want to make Heshy’s day, just send him some hate mail. He just LIVES for it!! 🙂 (Still working on mine, Heshy.)

    I went to a Persian wedding once. Had a great time – actually, it was persian chabad. Kinda weird. The food was beyond belief. I would not have been suprised if they had still been bringing stuff out during Shacharis the next morning. Good times.

  • Anonymous January 27, 2009, 12:58 AM

    I didn’t learn much about sfardim this post, but I did learn that many people have some serious reading comprehension issues.

    Gotta hell of a laugh out of it too.

  • D.B. Cooper January 27, 2009, 2:40 AM

    join the Brown Jews group on facebook!

  • Anonymous January 27, 2009, 5:05 AM

    “I also found out that besides for the pizza and falafel business Sephardim were involved in diamonds, car services and handymen businesses. ”

    Are Sefardim as bad at fixing things as Askenazim are?

  • Yochanan January 27, 2009, 6:28 PM

    I was with Chabad people this past Shabbat. They said wealthy Sfardim are the best to get Tzedakah from since they treat it as a Mitzvah, and not as a “favor”.

  • Yochanan January 28, 2009, 5:11 PM

    As for being uneducated, what about North Africans that speak four languages (English, French, Hebrew, and Arabic)?

    Am I the only one who sees it as pointless as defining pre-diaspora Jews (like Moshe or David) to being Ashkenazic or Sephardic?

  • Yochanan January 28, 2009, 5:18 PM

    “Im a 50-50 aka vuzcous, but dont put no gefilte fish in my couscous.”

    What about charif on gefilte fish?

  • Phil January 28, 2009, 6:50 PM


    No gefilte or herring, harif in couscous is good though.

  • Anonymous January 29, 2009, 3:55 AM

    No one mentioned Sfashkenaz?

  • Yochanan January 29, 2009, 12:55 PM


    No herring for this Ashkenazi. When it comes to gefilte fish, I can only eat the loaf kind.

  • Lady-Light February 1, 2009, 4:56 AM

    I am holding my sides laughing at 2:50 a.m. (yes, I’m addicted);
    I do want to add though, that Sepharadim are the more original Jews–Ashkenazim came later; Sepharadi food is terrific, and my two sons–Ashkenazim–both married Sepharadi women, Israelis whose families are orinally from Tunis and Iran!
    I sincerely believe that Sepharadim are the TRUE Jews.
    And, you don’t have to wear a kippah in the street to be knowledgeable in Judaism; plenty of Sepahradim do not have that Ashkenazi minhag of wearing a kippah all the time, but are religious (what we would call “frum”) and know much more than your average kippah-wearing Ashkenazi.
    (Hey, and looking forward to meeting you!)

  • Lady-Light February 1, 2009, 4:58 AM

    Oops. That’s supposed to be “originally.” Heck, it’s 2:57 a. m. – give me a break!

  • Double M March 20, 2009, 1:50 AM

    I know Im a bit late on this but I have started at this site only a few months ago. Heshy a few ideas:

    Order or priority for everything
    1) Your Family
    2) Your Community (which is really an extension of family)
    3) Your City (which is an extension of family)
    4) Your Country (which is an extension of family)
    5) You Culture (which is not an extension of family, it is however who you are)
    Progressively getting larger and larger encompassing the entire Jewish community and we finish the song chad gad yah!

    You have the leader of the community who is almost always rich (if he is not then the community is most likely dirt poor) and normally close with everyone in the community. If you are not you need to find a new synagogue (dont argue just do it). Remember who the leader is especially when he tells you who to vote for in the upcoming synagogue board member elections. If you have ideas of becoming the leader (and your not the current leaders child) you have your work to cut out for you. You will need to become rich and assist everyone in the community (I will do you this favor but you must realize that in the future, that day may never come, I may ask you to do something for me kapish?) and you must also wait until the old leader well dies.

    Ill just speak from experience the North Africans are quite passionate in their views and opinions (about just about everything). Just in case someone is yelling at you it does not mean their angry they are just expressing themselves, passionately. They are extremely proud of their heritage regardless of where they came from. They could have come from some backwater 1 cow town that may not even exist anymore and no one knows the name of in the Atlas Mountains but they will still be proud of that heritage as if he came from Casablanca or Paris. If you do not speak the native language then youre in trouble. Half the synagogues business is carried on in that language and half the darashot are in that language (though I have yet to see a synagogue use ladino much/at all).

    The food is spiced and quite distinctive. The spice is thick enough (and also unique enough) so anyone trying to pretend to be part of the cultural group is found out at the dinner table as he takes his first bite of the tenderloin. When pesach rolls around you can see a competition between houses of what they can still make well we can have this. yes but we can have that well thats only because you would have starved if you didnt allow that.

    Liquor all the flavors of the rainbow; if it grows out of the ground it can be turned into liquor. And the most important thing to remember is that Arak is best being served in water. So if your water smells of liquorish do not try to drive home. On the same vein the drink in some countries are just water flavored with the local weeds **goes outside ahh this weed smells good lets put it in boiling water**. I think we will call this mint tea (if you do not like mint tea you are not Moroccan you must have been switched at birth).

    The synagogue is mixed and by that I mean men and women freely mingle but there is a separation. There is a mens club and a womens club. The mens club has all sorts of rigorous activities basketball biking 40 miles in a day and the not so rigorous actives chartering a boat and fishing (whos bringing the beer?)

    On clothing its your call (unlike some other cultures….) but if you do not have a leather jacket then you need to go find it or buy a new one.

    Its almost 3 am so night night o wait back to work

  • Double M March 20, 2009, 2:29 AM

    Just one more thought

    The furmey then through know that their only major roadblock (yes there are others but the main one) to the takeover of the main stream religious world is the Sephardic community with the approach of what is the least that is necessary tell the world that and say if you want to go personally beyond the letter of the law col hakavod.

  • os May 7, 2009, 5:57 PM

    you are an idiot

  • os May 7, 2009, 6:03 PM

    i am a sphardi girl and all i can tell you is that u know nothing and are a crazy idiot.

  • Anon May 7, 2009, 8:22 PM

    Ka’ak is actually really good! (Please don’t read that as a double entendre. I mean the FOOD). Goes well with apple juice or diet coke.

  • EDR May 24, 2009, 1:07 AM

    I was very surprised at this thread. I have to admit I found it thoroughly unfunny and forced. The part that bothered me most was describing yourself as white and Sephardim as brown. You have internalized the modern western view of people. Am Yisrael doesn’t think that way. My family origin is western European and we are in the middle, a mix of Ashkenaz and Sepharad. I have always felt more akin to Sephardim, though I consider myself at home totally in Ashkenaz culture and I love the warmth of Yiddish. I would agree with R.C. that this was racist, except for the fact that it was too juvenile to be racist. I don’t take it very seriously. When you write for public consumption you ought to be more rsponsible. Are you yeshivah people? Why do you have such a low consciousness? Where is your spiritual striving? You are ultra-Americanized, yet use Hebrew words. You have become too much a a part of U.S. culture. Broaden your horizons and grow up a little.

  • Mrs. A May 24, 2009, 2:47 AM

    I grew up in the only Sephardic home in the area, there were 2 synagogues within walking distance. Therefore I am the typical Sephardic American Jew growing up in Ashkenazi Jewish America. As a Sephardic Jew I was surrounded by Frum women, gefilte fish, and potato pancakes. My father proudly tried to pass on his Sephardic culture to my brother and I so it would not be lost in American Jewish society. In all my life I don’t think I have ever said a bad word about Ashkenazi Jews, but I have had bad words said to me about Sephradim in my synagogue, nonetheless! When this moment of Jew-on-Jew racism occured I told them that with all the people who hate Jews in the world isn’t it disdainful that I would hear racism within our own community? Yes we are all different, but honestly I think it’s beautiful. I love our diversity. Seriously things will not get better for the Jews until we can come together in harmony, only then will there be a chance for the Messiah to come and Bet Hamikadash to be rebuilt. Now if only my Israeli husband could get me to stop praying in the Ashkenazi way…

  • Chris_B May 24, 2009, 4:37 AM

    One teensy weensy nitpick: prejudice is not the same as racism. Keep it in mind folks!

  • Mark May 24, 2009, 11:10 AM

    And humor is not the same as prejudice or racism!

  • Phil May 24, 2009, 11:19 AM

    Seems like many of the Sephardi readers feed the stereotype by being uptight and bitchy.

    I say stop taking yourselves so seriously, learn how to laugh, and lay off the harissa for a while, you’ll have a much easier time the morning after.

    • Anonymous January 26, 2011, 1:23 AM

      The reply to this is further up. You really need to grow up.

  • lisanoor May 24, 2009, 3:15 PM

    I love your comments! You are a righteous dude.
    Thanks for educating the masses on the higher testosterone-hornier link. Its true and the one thing i didn’t see anyone notice that this why sephardi women wax!!! The best wax in Dallas is given by a local sfardi woman. She can do a full brazillian in under 15 minutes. You couple baby smooth skin with elevated testosterone ……makes for a nice time. I thought this post was HILARIOUS!! I want to remind my sfardi brothers and sisters that stereotypes happen for a reason….so lets just own up to some of this (if not all) and have a good belly laugh!

  • Double M May 25, 2009, 2:53 AM

    Phil perhaps you need to look at it another way there are jokes in this post and ignorance but there is another type of post here as well. If you are belittled and insulted by small heads and incompetents that claim to be learned people what would you do? What if your very cultural identity was attacked because it did not conform to the uneducated poor uncultured stereotype of a small few eastern European communities?

    I myself am French Moroccan and some people from there could pass for Sephardic or askanzic look depending on how I cut my hair and trim my beard (lets not forget the clothing). As such I have heard enough insults, ignorance, and stupidity for a lifetime. I have heard it so often that I refuse to pray at nonsephardic synagogues often. I am not saying I hear it everywhere by everyone but I have heard such comments enough to leave a bad taste in my mouth.

    Now if that feeds the stereotype of an uptight group of people very well but just ask yourself why would a laid back group of people be uptight about anything?

    • Anonymous January 26, 2011, 1:59 AM

      Ualla! So true! I only go to Ashkenazic synagogues if and when I have to. All the Sephardic synagogues I go to have any given number of Ashkenazim that attend at some point, and they don’t seem to have any problems whatsoever. Ashkenazim being treated bad by Sephardim would NEVER go over ANYWHERE, except maybe in a place where Sephardim completely run the show, and wield absolute power, in a situation where they could say go jump and reap no repercussions, or maybe in Israel. Back to here. In reality the opposite is true: Sephardim are mistreated at Ashkenazic synagogues across America. I hate to put it out there in such a public way, but it needs to be said. Everywhere I go in the Ashkenazic world, people who don’t know me from Eve glare at me like I have six heads. They ignore me, say unbelievable things to me, even as a guest at their table or in their homes.

      The last family I stayed with away from home repeatedly made horrible comments about Sephardim to me, their Sephardic guest. The only thing I could do was nod. That’s the tip of the iceberg. I could go on for days. The fact is that the reason Heshy doesn’t know about Sephardim, and the reason so many Ashkenazim don’t know about Sephardim is because the really don’t care. Culturally, across the board: they just don’t care. I’ve heard it from COUNTLESS Ashkenazim themselves. This is also behind the massive amounts of RACISM and PREDJUDICE, that in recent years has resurfaced in such a bad way, it was covered in right wing Orthodox newspapers such as The Jewish Press, where I personally read about it on at least 3 different occasions. Try reading How Jews Became White Folks. Basically what happened to mainstream Ashkenazi Jewish America is what happened to The Italians, the Irish and all the other later immigrants in this country. In order to fit in and blend with the well off WASPs, and stay ahead of the racism that could be pushed on them, they themselves had to become racists themselves. At the shul I used to go to one of the board members present when they were hiring a White Hispanic rabbi who told him diverse Jews would start attending, and said “Oh rabbi, wouldn’t it be a shame if the darkies took over the shul?” This is what we deal with, every single day.

      Uptight? Who wouldn’t be?

      • Anonymous January 26, 2011, 2:06 AM

        By the way, the negativity coming at Sephrdim from Ashkenazim is not just jabs and elbow ribbing. It’s not even just complaints about religiosity etc. It’s straight up hate, disdain, and looking down their noses at us. It’s a sense of superiority which manifests itself verbally. It’s damn near like going back to the 70’s as a black person. Yeah the extreme racism of the 50’s and 60’s was starting to dial down, but there was a lot of left over. You didn’t see the angry mobs with ropes and what not, but the way many white people talked about black people was just despicable. I have family members who are permanently traumatized by the way people treated them then. It’s not THAT bad, but it’s close. It is just that now a days, people are subdued enough that they don’t spit on you. They will be passive agressive and just make you so uncomfortable that you won’t ever come back around them. And because we’re all Jews, that’s the mitigating factor.

  • Jelen May 25, 2009, 6:35 AM

    oh, those farka’akeder sephardim 🙂

  • Phil May 25, 2009, 8:32 AM

    Double M,

    I hear your frustration. In my Lubab neighborhood, some people take jabs at Sephardim all the time, even though half of the community is made up of Sephradim, mainly from Morocco. References to terrorsim, the koran, etc. are things I hear on a weekly basis.

    Does that mean that these misguided individuals are the norm? Definitely not. Am I going to stop praying at a shul because of a few idiots? Definitely not. Do I let stupid comments bother me? Definitely not. I’m a big boy and can dish out and take more than them when required.

    Getting back to this post and this blog, I’ll re-iterate what I’ve already posted. It pokes fun at frum people no matter what sect, denomination, colr, etc. One day it’s the lubabs, next is the frummies, then yeshivish, and this one targeted sephardim.

    For some reason, I haven’t seem so much negative feedback on any of the other posts. I really think many sephardim have a huge chip on their shoulder and think that everyone is out to get them. Maybe it has to do with living under arab rule for centuries, maybe it’s because sephardim are a minority in most Jewish communites.

    I’ll end with a couple quick exmaple that happened on Pesach. I daven in a shul with 3 minyanim. M.O, Chabad and Sephardi (Moroccan). One evening, the sephardim were short a few people and joined the M.O minyan I was davening with. Next morning, a friend of mine from the sephardi minyan told me about one of the members that was very mad at me. When I asked why, he said he saw me and my son laughing, and automatically assumed I was making fun of them. Truth is, I didn’t even notice them, and was definitely not talking about them.

    A couple days later, the same group was shot and joined the Chabad minyan. I hear one of them telling the others how he feels like he’s an animal in a zoo because everyone is staring at him. Again, no one was looking at him, he probably felt out of place with all the black hats. Still, he blamed everyone else for his insecurities. I asured him that no one would bite him.

    It’s time for sephardim to be proud of their heritage. Most of the great figures in our history were from Iraq, Egypt, Israel, Spain and other Sephardi countries. That’s more than enough reason to not feel insecure when a vuzvuz cracks a joke or pokes fun at the culture.

  • m00kie May 25, 2009, 10:41 AM

    phil, cmon, i dont think moroccans feel insecure about their heritage, but they are on guard. and it’s not the jokes or the poking fun, its the nasty comments, generalizations, put downs, name calling and discrimination. i dont think it has anything to do with living under arab rule for centuries, i think it has to do with living under vuz rule for half a century…

  • girl May 25, 2009, 1:07 PM

    Well, I would say that in general Hesh’s humor does not fly very high, but this is really one of his worst blogs.

    But I think the “insulting instead of being funny” is one of Heshy’s trademarks.

    No wonder he has fans like Phil and Michal, etc.

  • girl May 25, 2009, 1:11 PM

    PS: The only line that made me laugh in this whole post & comments was:

    “…all the small talk at dinner revolves around how unspicy the hot peppers are”

    But I suppose Heshy will never make it to this kind of humor.

  • Sami May 25, 2009, 9:27 PM

    yr probably christian anyway. take a dna test bitch. yr white skin is colonizer skin.

    g-ds true people are the people of the sand. strong, virile, smart, fighting for israel, not like weenies like you that hide behind blogs. what are you gonna call us sand niggers next? racist piece of shit making fun of your own.

    and what of the askenazis? killing arabs, the russians in mobs, the german jews destroyed by their own repulsive self-hate and assimilation in believing that they could pass as europeans and then eventually wiped out without a fight. and the women? we have moran atias and ninet tayeb? the only cute ones you have aren’t even real jews-halfies…

    people like you will be the end of us with your self-hate and assimilation. hate the semite in you, hate yourself.

    all good fun though, in the end yr still pale, ugly, and have a small dick. whose laughing now? 🙂

    • Gail January 12, 2013, 5:22 PM

      Amazing and enlightening on several levels. It’s a pity that Sami was the ending post of this thread, but we understand

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