What is the frum way to say you are going to the bathroom?

by Heshy Fried on January 23, 2009 · 53 comments

What terms do frum people use to say they are going to the bathroom?

Do they use any terms at all?

Do they just use the classic #1or #2?

They surely don’t use terms like taking a piss or dump (probably the most common language for this use)

Do you bring it down to the kid level and say “you need to make” or what about doody, kakky, pishy – where on earth did the word Kakky or Kakka as my old man used to call it – come from anyway?

My friend uses two words to describe his bathroom going needs which I find hilarious: For #1 he says he is going B’Kyos and for #2 he says he is going B’Iyun.

Other frummy terms or hints to describe bathroom usage:

Man that cholent is passing right through me

Wow I drank a lot at kiddush

I never eat vegetables, now I know why

I’m gonna be shtieging for a while

I sure hope I don’t miss the haftorah

I need to drain the lizard

Let some challah rolls loose

I to take a Chreft

I’m prairie dogging

I need to grab some real tissues, those bathroom ones have no absorption

Women have it so much better all they have to say is that they are using the ladies or the little girls room!

Anymore you can come up with?

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{ 53 comments… read them below or add one }

~Lady E~ January 23, 2009 at 1:00 PM

Kakky or Kakka is the russian way of saying it.

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Frum Satire January 23, 2009 at 1:04 PM

Really, that is interesting to know

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Notageek January 23, 2009 at 1:08 PM

Hilarious…

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EsPes January 23, 2009 at 1:13 PM

guys can say they are using the mens room.

also only frum kids say “i need to make”… non jewish ppl dont say that.

this kid i used to babysit for called #2 “a plop”. as in “i need to make a plop”

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Frum Satire January 23, 2009 at 1:17 PM

EsPes a plop is hilarious

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A23 January 23, 2009 at 1:18 PM

You never heard of gedoilim and ketanim?

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EsPes January 23, 2009 at 1:19 PM

A23- haha i forgot abt that one!

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Frum Satire January 23, 2009 at 1:21 PM

A23 I didn’t grow up that frum

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CA January 23, 2009 at 1:26 PM

In Russian:
“Go for the big one.”
“Go for the little one.”

Kakky or Kakka is the russian way of saying it.
Maybe the type of Russians who read detective novels and eat sunflower seeds. Certainly not intelligentsia.

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LonelyMan January 23, 2009 at 1:33 PM

I’m going to visit Doogie Houser, MD

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Jacob da Jew January 23, 2009 at 1:49 PM

My kids babysitter calls #2 “making ah pekalah” ie

“He made a big pekaleh today”

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Aviva J. January 23, 2009 at 1:54 PM

This post is too gross, even for me, the ex-Navy sailor.

My 9 year old son, however, would just LOVE this conversation!

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Mordechai Filipowicz January 23, 2009 at 1:59 PM

kaka? (sp); I thought was from Spanish, as in Toro kaka (B.S.)

How about “dupa”

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notwutiwantd January 23, 2009 at 2:00 PM

What if he was holding it in? Would he have a big pekalah?

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Lydia January 23, 2009 at 2:27 PM

In my parents’ house the toilet is referred to in any of these ways:
the library
the university
the place where the queen goes alone
Beis Hakisseh
Umm, I can’t remember any more. Lol!

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A Random Miriam January 23, 2009 at 2:31 PM

I was thinking the same thing as Mordechai. “Caca” is the actual Spanish spelling.

I recently heard “I’m going to go tinkle now” from a college-age girl that is… frum-ish (though she’s frum-ish from birth, I think?).

The most common I’ve encountered, though – particularly among women – is “I’ll be right back”, followed by a hasty retreat in the general direction of the bathroom.

… and now I’ll be unconciously watching people for this over Shabbos. Great. :P

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Heterim January 23, 2009 at 2:42 PM

Going to the Kisei hakavod.

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Heterim January 23, 2009 at 2:42 PM

Wow I just realized what I wrote. Nefesh habahamis took over for a second. Please delete that.

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blah blah January 23, 2009 at 2:59 PM

terms for bathroom:
the deuce pad
unlce shloime’s chocolate factory
crapper stacker

terms for going to the bathroom:
I have to change my undies
Oops, don’t wait for me
Were there jalapenos in the cholent?

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suitepotato January 23, 2009 at 3:29 PM

My house of course wasn’t Jewish growing up and my Jewish house now isn’t frum but, “I’ll be back. Gotta go to the bathroom.”

Simple and no allusions to what you’re doing in there. Could be brushing teeth. Who knows? Who cares? I’d rather not think about it.

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blah blah January 23, 2009 at 3:45 PM

On a more serious note. The proper which I picked up over my years (perhaps my modernish upbringing) was to say “Excuse me I am going to the restroom or men’s room.”

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a m January 23, 2009 at 3:48 PM

tekiah and tekiah gedolah

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Anonymous January 23, 2009 at 4:11 PM

“I’m off to rephrase my daily constitution” — overheard

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G. Magidson January 23, 2009 at 4:16 PM

Hmmm – I thought “dupa” meant tuchas. What do I know?

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Frum Satire January 23, 2009 at 5:22 PM

I cant believe I forgot to mention “make an offering to the porcelain throne”.

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EsPes January 23, 2009 at 5:23 PM

frumsatire- thats throwing up! cuz ur kneeling as if bowing…

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tzip January 24, 2009 at 12:57 PM

i heard a funny story from a friend. she refers to #1 as k’tanim and #2 as g’dolim. (she’s israeli). anyway she told her 4 yr old son that he would soon be going to a ‘gan shel g’dolim’ (big boy gan) and he looked at her in shock and horror as if he would be going to a gan full of…

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MAUREEN January 24, 2009 at 6:16 PM

I once was on a date with my friend at a park in long island. He used the tree to pee, in a public park!

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Michal bas Avraham January 24, 2009 at 7:10 PM

Reading room
sitting on the throne (as opposed to making an offering)
go potty (non-Jewish kids, instead “make”) Although, I still say that and I’m grown… wait the jury’s out on that… maybe I’m not grown…

knit to the loo (British)
utilize the latrine (US Army way)
The Navy calls it the head.
little boys room for guys.

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Michal bas Avraham January 24, 2009 at 7:11 PM

So, Maureen, was that the last date he got from you?

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Michal bas Avraham January 24, 2009 at 7:21 PM

So, Maureen,

was that the last date he got from you?

Or did you go out with him again after he peed in the bushes?

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sy January 24, 2009 at 9:45 PM

How about the tesh?

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s(b.) January 24, 2009 at 10:10 PM

“Excuse me.”

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jake January 25, 2009 at 1:01 AM

the pope
uncle john
johney

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Gevald geshrigen January 25, 2009 at 5:31 AM

I gotta:
syphon the python
drain the main vane

But the truth is, ch’sidish kinder talk about going “farr excuse”, as in, “Mommy/Tatty, I have to go farr excuse”. Don’t ask why – there’s no good answer.

While the yiddish ‘pishy’ is still a well used term, b”h, the goyish ‘peepee’ is breathing hot down it’s neck. Yet another sign of yeridas hadoros…

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Aliza January 25, 2009 at 5:43 AM

In modern Hebrew, “yeshiva” (accent on the last syllable) means “meeting.” So in my family, if we are going to be in the bathroom a long time, we say “I’m going to a yeshiva.”

For the Hebrew-challenged on the list, “yeshiva” comes from the root “to sit.” I never even thought (until now) that the word also means Jewish school and hence our comments could be thought of as disparaging.

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Michal bas Avraham January 25, 2009 at 7:35 AM

Yes, because you sit and learn in the yeshivah…..

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jimmy January 25, 2009 at 7:46 AM

going to take a shi’ite

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Michal bas Avraham January 25, 2009 at 8:00 AM

I forgot…. I’ve been known to say, “I’ve got an ‘asher yatzar’ coming.”

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just me January 25, 2009 at 8:50 AM

My husband always says he’s going to the Ir Miklat

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Phil January 25, 2009 at 11:21 AM

Going to make some kreplach -translates well in dumplings ;)

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White Sephardic Dude January 25, 2009 at 11:50 AM

“i gotta whizz:”

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A goya January 25, 2009 at 11:59 PM

I hate to correct the above poster, but I’ve never heard a frum child say that they need to make, yet I’ve heard more than a few goyim children say just that… It’s a pet peeve, actually, and I tend to correct the children I hear say it, as it is a bit crude.

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Yochanan January 26, 2009 at 1:50 AM

How about:

“I would REALLY love to say Asher Yatzar right now.”

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pishin January 26, 2009 at 3:20 PM

my yiddish speaking grandpa used to say, “ich broch pishisn”

but i still like the best “need to take a sh**” where are you taking it? whom are you giving it to? are you framing it?

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Leib January 26, 2009 at 3:46 PM

I heard that some chassidim in Israel refer to it as “going to the beis haruach” based on discussion in the Gemara. Funny story: was at a multidenomenational event with an Israeli chassidic friend and there was a reform group calling themselves beis haruach. My friend couldn’t stop laughing.

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you-know-who January 26, 2009 at 8:31 PM

Since we are on the topic of shidduchim, I’ve got one for you:

“I have a date with The John”

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Larry Brauner January 26, 2009 at 9:06 PM

I need to write this quickly, because I have to go across the hall.

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Anonymous January 28, 2009 at 8:06 PM

“I have to go to the bais hakisay”

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Hugh Jass January 30, 2009 at 1:50 AM

“Can I go see a man about a horse?”

“Can I go change my oil?”

“Can I go flush my coolant?”

“Can I go shoot my squirt gun?”

“Can I go drop some friends off at the pool?”

“Can I go bake some brownies?”

“Can I go claim my throne?”

“Can I go cast some stink bait?”

“Can I go take the Browns to the Super Bowl?”

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Frum Satire January 30, 2009 at 2:01 AM

Dude!!!

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Chums&Frums November 2, 2009 at 8:56 PM

I GOTTA TAKE A DUMP !

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