Yeshiva Memories: The girls sunbathing across the street

As with any young and horny yeshiva bochur girls were a central part of yeshiva life. We talked about them, lied about getting some over out shabbosim and liked to look at them. On the other hand most of my yeshiva education was devoted to trying to get us to do the opposite. They would force feed us mussar on a daily basis about the evils of women, masturbation and anything else that seemed like it was something we wanted out of our adolescent years – although the Rabbis told us we didn’t want the heartache associated with girls, we didn’t believe them.

What I never understood about my rebbeim and their anti girl rhetoric was that they were the ones that decided to buy an old hospital building smack in the center of the coolest and hippest neighborhood in Rochester. The place was crawling with girls and a simple walk down the block gave us more eye candy than we knew what to do with.

During my third year of high school an interesting thing happened, the house directly across the street from my room had a flat roof and some beautiful ladies started to sunbathe out on it every day. You can imagine what happened after this. Those girls knew we were all watching them, kind of sucked that I couldn’t see and would later learn I needed glasses for objects far away. But with binoculars they were right there, those glistening bodies slathered with sun tan lotion and putting on a show for all the boys in yeshiva to see.

It took the Rosh Yeshiva a little while to realize that at exactly 11:45 am these two girls would lie down almost naked right in front of the yeshiva. I think he figured it out because his shiur room was right across the street from the action and I am sure some of the guys started looking like dogs in heat (this one rabbi used to explain guys who look at girls like dogs in heat) – he was absolutely right.

Suddenly there were shades in the shiur room, he never did figure out that kids utilized the unused ancient shas sets for porn hiding spots. But shades was a first considering that in my first year of yeshiva I had to find shades for my room in the garbage.

When I had that room directly across the street from these two girls, I used to sleep during that time until I woke up one day and found 10 guys using all sorts of methods to film and stare at these girls. Binoculars, telephoto lenses, borrowing each others glasses and the regular old squinting method were all tried. I just didn’t want any cream the cookie games going on in my room and I used to have to kick them out all the time.

Other yeshiva memories posts:

Wake up methods

Room searches

The secretary

Were you a yeshiva rebel?

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • http://shesnamelessfaceless.blogspot.com nameless, faceless

    Hesh, I haven’t commented in a while, but this one honestly made me laugh out loud. It also makes me desperate to move across the street from a yeshiva. Horrible, right?

    Don’t judge, I’m working on it :)

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    Very funny. We had 2 non frum, Jewish blond sisters living next door to the dorm, they must have been around 15 and 18. When they figured out the bochurim were gawking at them, they started sunbathing topless. The guys made it a daily routine.

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Frum Satire

    Phil for some reason I find the topless part to believe although I really want to believe it.

  • http://grumpyjew.blogspot.com Shmuley

    omg, cream the cookie?

    dude, that’s so halariously disgusting.

  • Mikeee

    Here is the thing. The rabbis are technically right, girls do cause pain. The issue at hand is that most of them only know those because thats what they were told or read. You can not come to truly appreciate musar if you haven’t experienced the real pain of a girl dumping you or breaking your heart. I would argue that if they really want you to embrace musar, and really appreciate it, the best thing is to let you go out there, get hurt, and then come back to them so that they can put you back together the way they want you to be. By closing you off of the external world they are in essence doing a “dafka” effect of making you want to go out there that much more.

  • http://collectivisticindividualism.blogspot.com/ Child Ish Behavior

    Very funny.

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Frum Satire

    Mikee for the two broken hearts that I suffered I would say they were with the joy of being madly in love. So I guess the mussar wouldn’t have worked anyway.

  • http://almadsfeika.wordpress.com Lydia

    Thanks! I had a great laugh there :)

  • Texgator

    This post is useless without photographic evidence.

  • not only is this post useless…

    …This whole god damn blog is useless.

  • whatthehell

    I find this offensive. Go to Yeshivah to learn, or dont go.

    • Yeshiva Bochur

      uhhh, boys aren’t given a choice, dumbass

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    Hesh,

    I shit you not. These girls the the exhibitionist type, their parents were the type to try to hook the daughters up with the yeshiva guys. I was already out of the yeshiva by then, but lived across the street, a friend of mine claims to have “nailed” one of the sisters.

    A bit later on, I moved to another place and had similar experiences, although I was already married and not as desperate. My next dors neightbors were a bunch of college girls, sunbathing during the summer, making noise partying at night. The woman across my yard was even worse, she would come out to smoke on her porch at night in the nude.

  • http://chnyock.blogspot.com chnyock

    awesome post!

    roflao

    does the rosh of rochester read ur blog ?…..

    ever get feedback from him?

  • OMG

    where i go to school, there is a young dude an dhis wife that live in the girls dorm. its an apartment building so they live on 1 floor and the girls live on the other florrs. I take it you would love to hav ehis place! lol

  • Former Teacher

    As I understand it, it’s like holding candy in front of a child and saying, “You can look, but you can’t touch.”

  • OPINIONATED

    The heartache is dreaming about what you saw, but not being able to act on it.

  • chnyock

    the rabbis tell u not to look either.

    doing IT in the dark has its benefits. fantasy always trumps reality!

    those who’ve tried it know!

  • slightlyjewish

    Oh, what memories. I went to High School up the street from a Yeshiva and for pure torture my friends and I would hike our skirts up to “tease length” to torture the boys as we walked by. Yeshiva boys are Hot!!

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Frum Satire

    Go to yeshiva to learn or don’t go at all???

    So are you saying that we shouldn’t have been reading porn between seder and trying to pick up chicks at 7-11?

    Man you would have to close down 80% of the yeshivas out there – what do you expect from 14 year old boys.

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    whatthehell,

    Get a life! My guess is that you were one of those yeshiva guys that said “oy” every time the boys start talking about girls, then popped your willy in the mikva shower when your buddy dropped the soap…

    It’s very natural for teenage boys with raging hormones to gawk at sunbathing girls, especially those that are secluded into boys only yeshiva, and forbidden any contact with females except for family members. Anyone in that situation claiming not to be interested is either a fake or a fag.

  • not only is this post useless…

    Heshy-u are really a moran. U make it sound like u went to this school that was so dysfunctional that you could write a book everyday.

    Do everyone and especially the former students of TIUNY…blog about obama or how you stare at women or how u eat like a slob and you are proud of it. Sorry to be harsh, but it just isn’t cool.

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Frum Satire

    Not only is this useless-

    How am I saying it was dysfunctional by telling it like it is or was – oh and I am writing a book about it actually – a memoir – shall be interesting.

    The problem is people like you who don’t want to admit that when you place a bunch of 14-18 year old boys under one roof things get a little stressful – nothing like some hot sunbathers across the street to lighten up everyones day.

  • http://nemosramblings.blogspot.com Nemo

    Hesh – between you and me, they probably weren’t all that hot … but you gotta make do with what you can in Yeshiva, right?

  • Chris_B

    “doing IT in the dark has its benefits.”

    As long as you have the glow of the monitor you can do Information Technology without making too many mistakes.

    Oh wait… you dont mean IT, you mean sex, right?

  • http://tevytown.blogspot.com Tevy

    Great Post Hesh!

    One thing I recall being @ yeshiva, was that the all-guy,all-the-time atmosphere eventually ended up with a handful of guys pretending to act very gay. They’d go around pretending to flirt just to gross out other guys…

    Anyone else have these guys?

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Frum Satire

    Yeh totally but we actually did have gay guys one of whom is way out of the closet and another one who is transsexual

  • Anonymous

    um yeah actually tiuny IS very dysfunctional, ask anybody who went to school there…..

  • hasidic rebel

    I always thought that my lack of interaction or exposure to the female sex growing up in williamsburgh, was/is the root cause of my sexual appetite and objectification, being on full force, all the time.

    Reading your blog for some time and seeing how with even the most liberal “orthodox” upbringing as you had, it seems that the seclusion is not the cause of it, rather its just a delayed happening. Meaning that what most non-frum kids experienced from their teens to their early twenty’s, being kinda exposed to all it, is what most chasidishe kids experience when they are exposed to it at an older age (19-22).

    So most (I hope and think) are able to overcome their desires and sexual tendencies due to their religious and moral upbringing, and feel satisfied and content with their marriage. But as soon as anything goes out of whack, all the sexual frustration and promiscuity comes pouring out, reflected in all the “zaftege” stories floating around, including the CL frum4frum postings.

  • hasidic rebel

    check spam

  • Mark

    I went to MTA for high school and lived in the dorm. I was also very immature and naive, probably my very young age mostly contributed to that. I was shocked when I found out that a bunch of kids would periodically take the train down to 42’nd street and visit the sex shops there.

    Now, this was in a yeshiva that didn’t completely frown (well, in the 70’s they didn’t, I don’t know about today) on contact between boys and girls in high school. Imagine the pressure in an all-boys all-dorm yeshiva where their every move is monitored!

  • http://freshwater-phil.blogspot.com Phil

    Hasidic rebel,

    Guys being seperated from girls and growing up repressed didn’t start in Williamsburg, contrary to popular belief. The Gemara, Rashi, Rambam all refer to various situation where even non repressed men and women found “interesting” things to do with each other. Nothing new has been created since bereishis, that includes most men having a voracious sexual apetite.

    The CL perverts simply found another convenient way to reach out to their kind.

  • http://yeshivamemories afloydchick

    bottom line, you guys are normal!

  • http://www.frumsatire.net Frum Satire

    Normal is relative

  • not only is this post useless…

    Heshy-yet another example of how hot you are making it for urself after 120

  • Ben

    Hasidic Rebel. so this is where you have lurking all this time. How about your take on the myriad of blogs that have copied your content and style. AS you must be aware there are one or two females versions of orignial blog.

  • Anonymous

    Love the site. I didn’t live in a dorm in my yeshiva days, but there was a yeshiva where all the guys would go on the roof and watch the neighbor put on a whole show for them.

  • A. Nuran

    Mikeee, to hide from pain is to deny life. It’s only through making mistakes, taking risks, getting knocked down and learning to stand up and keep on going that you develop as a human being. Getting your heart broken is part of growing up. With luck and practice it gets remade into something worth offering to another person

  • naiveBoy

    in fact, bieng schooled in a “frum” society surely prevent most of these desiers for most of frum boys, & even there is, it’s not publicly issued, & of course not staring togather from a window… & it’s based more on “curiousty” than actual looking to hook up on with!

  • ex-tiuny student

    for those of you who do not believe this post, i can personally verify the accuracy of this story. i was a student there as well and this most definately happened!