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The annoying things frummies do with their Facebook accounts

I have been a member of Facebook since its inception, I joined when my State College was finally let into the system. Back then it was only college kids, I had 10 friends and never really got into it until I started the blog. Then I made a blog name and my real name (there is another Heshy Fried on Facebook by the way) was left in the dust with merely 35 friends and being blocked from search, my blog name Frum Satire took over, due to its search engine prowess. Suddenly high schools were let into facebook and finally everyone was allowed to join the Jewish Geography revolution taking place on computers everywhere.

Facebook in my opinion will lead to the demise of internet dating and sites like only simchas. I have noticed a recent trend that the people friending me on Facebook are born in the 1950s and 60s, I have even been friended by two women born before 1930 – the grandmothers have the most applications of anyone.

By far the most annoying group of people who are on Facebook are the frummies, not the regular old frummies, I mean the frummies who are on Facebook, but don’t want to be “caught”, so they do things that allow them to hide – although in my mind a simple search to the privacy settings allows you to block your profile from being found by anyone unless you happen to be friends with them.

There are several practices that annoy the hell out of many people, including myself, that frummies tend to do with their Facebook accounts: Here is my list.

No picture – come on people it isn’t called “face” book for no reason at all – give me a face.

Baby Pictures – married people are one thing but I have noticed that girls – not all frum as a matter of fact – like to keep their pictures away from facebook and put baby pictures up. Whenever I see a baby picture on a single girls profile I assume she is quite hard on the eyes – because why else would you not put a picture of yourself – what its untznius? So why are you on the internet in the first place? Or why is your profile there for public view?

Pictures of flowers – not even going to start, but frummy girls love the flower pictures in addition to the baby pictures.

English Names with no last names – you spot a chassid on Facebook in a second, any Jewish person who has a bunch of chassidish friends who uses the name Joel S. You are not fooling anyone, Yoily and Mendy become Joel and Mark – they love those one letter last names.

Husband and Wife accounts – the newest practice in frummiedom is for the wife to make an account but to join with her husbands name, I think its a defense against facebook stalkers, but its hard to find and hard to figure out who’s who. Or is it just the wives way of controlling the husband.

Rebbe accounts – I managed a Rabbis account for a little while and let me tell you, its a dream. You can friend anyone you want and no one asks a question. But can someone explain why I am friends with Rav Ahron Cutler, Rav Moshe and the Lubavitcher Rebbe? (well maybe him you can explain)

Your last name is Chossid? – loads of these last name chossid profiles, I never really noticed any my last is “yeshivish” profiles though.

Shadchuns on Facebook – does anyone know someone that met their mate on Facebook, I think its a great tool (have gone out with folks I met on facebook) and have seen some profiles popping up with names like Shlomo Shadchun and such. Though I am sure when people start writing “Im Yitza Hashem by you” on your wall it could get mighty annoying.

Do you have anything to add to the list?

{ 41 comments… add one }
  • Nemo January 10, 2009, 9:59 PM

    Supposedly this kid who I have mutual friends with got married to a girl he poked.

    See what happens and why they try to keep you off the net? It starts with one small gesture and then you end up shacking it up with the person.

  • Moshe January 10, 2009, 10:03 PM

    100+ groups about the same thing.
    You have these people who must be in charge so instead of joining a group, they’ll make their own.
    Let’s get n number members/let’s see how many people/etc and the 50 clones for each.

  • Moshe January 10, 2009, 10:06 PM

    “Or just a handsome cowboy who likes
    to… poke around.” – Miss East (Wild Wild West)

  • Frum Satire January 10, 2009, 10:16 PM

    Oh Moshe your right – I bet I can get blah blah blah to join this club. Or if 100 people join this club I will go out with blah.

  • Anonymous January 10, 2009, 10:19 PM

    ha ha yes. It’s really funny when the couples have statuses like “Shalom And Jessica…. Misses Jessica”

  • Anonymous January 10, 2009, 10:23 PM

    I had a baby pic up on facebook for a while to show people just how cute my future children can look.

  • the law January 10, 2009, 10:35 PM

    how bout posting pictures of hazolah scenes and other HIPAA violations. this is only topped but having a ‘middle name’ that is you hazolah call sign. ie. Baruch ‘B132’ schwartz.

    having a status that always contains the words “amazing husband” in it.

  • faigy January 10, 2009, 10:37 PM

    I had to remove my pic cause I found that some people would actually go to my profile copy and paste the pic to their computer… Next thing I know I get an email that has been forwarded to too many pple already with a picture of me drunk on new years …
    It is annoying when random pple request you without them having a picture up that’s why I only request or add pple I know…

  • BTL January 10, 2009, 10:41 PM

    I can not stand profiles without pictures.
    It’s like they love looking through everyone else’s albums. They’d just never put up a picture themselves.

    I HATE those husband and wifes profiles. Like for God’s sake we all know that it’s just the wife usually using it.

    The baby’s are cute and all. But it’s not the baby’s profile. Put up your own picture.

  • Moshe January 10, 2009, 10:44 PM

    Yeah, the “married to” relationship status is there for a reason. We have 2 separate accounts.

    I just remembered something that no one has mentioned for some reason. The same retard friends that were emailing you urban legends and virus hoaxes are now doing it on FB.

  • Moshe January 10, 2009, 10:46 PM

    Here’s another. A couple girls from my shul only friend other girls and the only male are their husbands. They do, however, have their pic up for all to see.

  • Frum Satire January 10, 2009, 10:49 PM

    If you dont want people seeing your pics set the profile to blocked from public search thats all.

  • Frum Punk January 10, 2009, 10:59 PM

    Facebook activism irks me. All those groups for and against stuff, as though by joining the group you’re making a difference or even making a show of support. Or maybe I’m just too cynical.

  • Moshe January 10, 2009, 11:04 PM

    And the groups created to force FB to do something. Delete this or that group or person or, and that was hilarious, make FB go back to the old layout.
    At least now that all the apps are in a different tab, I don’t have to wait 5 minutes for a compulsive joiner’s profile to load.

  • Anonymous January 10, 2009, 11:06 PM

    Oh, I have to admit that I am one of those who doesn’t have a pic up on facebook and I do love going through other ppls albums. Look, some of us are just secretive and curious….it can’t be helped. And do you know what’s annoying from our side, when ppl say, “it’s not fair that you don’t have a pic up, b/c I have one up and you can see me”. What the hell does that mean? Are you in kindergarten where everyone has to play by the same rules. Look, who cares, ppl can do what they want. Post a pic, don’t post a pic. It’s all a game anyway!

  • Frum Satire January 10, 2009, 11:17 PM

    Anon I agree – being a lurker is loads of fun, cant help myself I am a attention whore.

  • Devorah January 10, 2009, 11:20 PM

    I tried facebook but cannot figure out why it is better than my e-mail. But I might be a little behind the times…. I get ten friend requests every day because people see I am a frum lady and want to chat me up, and I am totally not interested in that. I just don’t add them. If I know you, or you give me a reason to want to know you, freat. But don’t just click add to every frum lady you see on there.

  • Rentsy January 10, 2009, 11:22 PM

    Heshy, you need to add girls who only friend other girls to the list. It’s real.

  • Not yeshivish January 10, 2009, 11:35 PM

    How about every yeshivish kid who only uploads pictures of cars?
    Or have a profile pic of a famous cartoon character?

  • veebee January 10, 2009, 11:56 PM

    There was a weird fellow who kept adding people on my schools network who claimed to have just moved near my school. Of course, after doing a quick records check, he didn’t match up. However, a netstat and a bit of [HELLO FBI SPIDERS] confirmed that it was a principal at my school who was lurking. Too bad he was retarded and had a real easy recovery question that we could find the answer to on google; his account was deleted.

  • Phil January 11, 2009, 12:55 AM

    I hate facebok and myspace, I tried some accounts on those type of sites, they notify you everytime someone farts, then you have to login to acknowledge the fart.

    I prefer good old emails, log into to facebok about once a month to validate virtual friends. Only good thing about it is finding people you have lost contact with.

  • yakidy yak January 11, 2009, 1:13 AM

    I think the couple accounts are so that one spouse cud chat with the other’s fb friends of the other gender and not feel guilty about it because ‘they’re only passing on the message.’

  • Shua January 11, 2009, 1:38 AM

    the qassamCount status updates are driving me batty. we got the point the first couple times, now it’s stupid

  • Hanna January 11, 2009, 2:42 AM

    Yes, the husband-wife “Yitzy N Chani” thing is incredibly annoying… it’s usually the wife who’s commenting on all your pics…but you never know… it could be the husband and that’s just creepy.
    I’ve seen couples actually make facebook accounts just for their newborn babies so they could tag them in pictures.. how ridiculous is that?!

  • Michal bas Avraham January 11, 2009, 2:55 AM

    I farted… Did you get the Email? LOL!!!

    You know you can fix it so you don’t get those notices? I didn’t want to join FB because I was on Myspace and deleted it. I got sooooooo many friend requests and messages from black men.

    FB really isn’t as bad but, I do get requests from people just trying to bulk up their friends. I think they go through groups and friends’ friends and such….

  • Frum Satire January 11, 2009, 3:14 AM

    Michal are you a racist?

  • boychik January 11, 2009, 3:27 AM

    I’ve been going out with this girl who accidentally friended me, she was looking for a different guy with the same last name. We started chatting and we’ve been unseparatable for 2 months already. And she’s not the first date I had from FB.

  • Jewy McJew January 11, 2009, 9:30 AM

    The worst are the frummies who have to join every application and group, and then spam all their friends to join the same apps and groups, partly because they don’t know how to use facebook and partly because they have no manners.

  • Danny January 11, 2009, 11:21 AM

    How about the super frummies writing under religious or political views “middle of the road”. Middle of what road are they thinking of?

  • Phil January 11, 2009, 11:26 AM


    I know you can deactivate certain options, all I receive now are friend or relative requests. I have all types of anglers become my friends, as I origianlly created my account a a test of a web 2.0 campaign for my blog. To much headache too little profit if you ask me.

    I can imagine how many perverts try to befriend women, not surprised to see hear of many black men after a white woman either. How the heck did hillary manage to lose the black vote?

    I used to get tons of porn page requests on myspace when I was more active on the sites, now I just log in once or twice a month to “clean up”.

  • The Jewish Side January 11, 2009, 11:39 AM

    I just want to point out about the pictures part. There are some people who care about their privacy and don’t want everyone seeing their pictures. True, that you can have it that only your friends can see. But some have friends from all over, including college, where they don’t know them so well and would rather them not see all their personal photos.

    What I think is a great invention on facebook’s part, is the whole friend list stuff. How you can designate certain photo albums just for certain friends. So you want to say that facebook means you have to have a face, so could be they have their faces up, just not for all their friends to see.

    And baby pictures are safe, because their cute, they show its a real person’s profile. But at the same time doesn’t show a private pic.

    and I agree with anonymous of 11:06 pm
    The person who has a profile picture up, has it for anyone to see, they didn’t put it up conditionally so that you will put one up. So they can’t hold it against you if you don’t want to show them a pic.

  • sporadic intelligence January 11, 2009, 11:51 AM

    I am one of those, only friend girls things…I use it to catch up with people, not to make new friends….actually I don’t really use it much at all. I’ll change my status once a month, and check up on everyone else’s once in two weeks…it’s quite boring, I rather spend my time reading insipid blogs.

    As for profile pics. I used to have a proper profile pic, but then I got way to many friend requests from random men…so now my profile pic is a cool pic of me, but you can’t really distingush my features that well.

  • daintysplendor January 11, 2009, 12:42 PM

    yeah there are some frum girls and boys whose profiles seem just way too empty,no info, 2 pics. So I know for sure it must be their limited profile b/c they want to be frum for frum friends but don’t want to delete the undecent pics from the party where they got drunk and gone wild, cause there are not frum people on their freind list who are tagged on that pics.
    It’s usually hard to say, but sometimes such things are just too obvious

  • Shua January 11, 2009, 1:17 PM

    Note: some things people are bringing up aren’t really frummie things. All newbies do them.

  • Klem January 11, 2009, 4:34 PM

    I thought it was frummies on facebook that pissed me off but I think now it’s just facebook. The entire site is based on bs. No ones really friends with 99% of the friends, none of those people knew it’s your birthday, people make statuses offering to do stuff with the first random strangers to reply, is that a social life? No. The groups are ridiculous. I can’t support Israel enough it seems. I need another ignored gaza group. I need to join another group hoping tha creator will give that dollar to some random sderot resident. He won’t. He doesn’t even have a dollar. I also can’t stand being invited to stupid ideas like don’t buy gas on a certain day or hug-a-jew-day. Do people buy into this? And yes, the thing that annoys me most is the shared married facebook profiles. I usually know one of the 2 people and I’m not about to let the new one in their life read all the things I want to say to him. Then married people wonder why nobody calls. Cuz it’s a shared phone. It’s not a bank account, there’s no joint crap.

  • Michal bas Avraham January 11, 2009, 6:54 PM

    Hilary lost the black vote because they didn’t they were going to get to “poke” her Facebook account….

  • Samtar midel January 11, 2009, 7:47 PM

    So annoying for a satmar girl to be on fb when we all know satmar girls don’t do fb or online in general. Instead the one satmar girl gets all the satmar/chassidisha male perverts desperate for female attention. When some non chusid/ normal mentch comes along the satmar girl gets all paranoid assuming anyone befriending her has got to be Vad Hatznius.

    Like what party photo can she tag when her friends are all homebodies who have no clue what the words WORLD WIDE WEB means.

  • Chris_B January 12, 2009, 2:05 AM

    “I hate facebok and myspace, I tried some accounts on those type of sites, they notify you everytime someone farts, then you have to login to acknowledge the fart.”

    Finally something Phil and I can agree on! I’m on just one Japanese SNS and I can barely take time to keep up with that. Really I only use it to publicize my music work, announce upcoming events and record releases.

    BTW about pictures, I’ve made a great effort to see that no clear pics of me end up on the net. Even though part of my work is entertainment, I make sure that no clear head shots of me get on the net or used for publicity. Look at all the stories in the news about potential employers checking up on people’s Facebook, Myspace, etc. activities, think about all those urban legend email forwards and add in the power of lashon hara, now imagine an email with a picture of you (photoshopped or not) along with some choice misquoted text. Is that something you want happening to you? Maybe I’m paranoid but that doesnt mean I’m not justified in my paranoia.

  • dovi January 12, 2009, 2:47 AM

    or wen a random beis yakov or wtvr girl adds you an has a pic of some random girl that you find when you type in hot on google image… an her name would be like sarah wilner and ur like who are you an shed be like sarah wilner its like do i no you? an y do you hav a pik of hillary duff? an shes like i dont hav a camera…. thn one day u see on ur frends list a random name like sara goldman 1 day she asked me who are you and how do i no you i wuz like wtf… thn i look in her profile an it said by contact info her email address is sarawillner@gmail.com so theyt change ther nme cuz ther stupid… an stalk u… an theyl randomly ask if u no ther “frend” who you no has a crush on you… and in the end its like 5 different frummies running the accaunt

  • jennthejewess January 13, 2009, 5:37 PM

    Yea ALL these things bother me….so freaking annoying…The thing I hate the most is all the frummy girls im friends with (limited profiled of course- dont want thier judgemental and snarky comments) comment on each others pics…
    “omg u are a bone!”, “no im a cow” “ur are the skinniest person” “Love ur tan!” “No, Im a ghost” etc…
    Oh and naked pics of ur babies on the toilet is SO WRONG on SO many levels- pedophiles anyone?? (not to mention the DETAILED potty training talk that ensues)
    Basically Im not dumb any inapropriate pics DONT GO ON FB…once they are on internet they are there forever…ANYONE can save them onto thier comp- GROSS
    And I am unsearchable…u cant even click on my name…everytime i undo it it for 5 min I get so many random friend requests…I friend who I want to friend…

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