Once you have attended an orthodox Jewish wedding no one would argue with the statement that frum Jews cant dance, although we think we can and this can be witnessed at any frum wedding. Weddings are a time for us frum Jews to show off our poor dancing skills by slapping our feet on the floor in an effort to copy Michael Jackson or waving our hands in the air to do our version of the Yiddisher rave, it doesn’t work, we look like idiots, but its all in good fun.
What kind of frummy dance do you do at weddings?
Foot Slapper:
For some reason the women like this one, this is when you are dancing g in a circle and suddenly someone wants to get fancy, make a move and they start swaying side to side and slapping their foot in the middle of the circle. Girls do it more then guys, mostly because in the guys side there are usually multiple circles going on and ending at once making it dangerous to put your foot anywhere near the circle.
The shuffle:
The shuffle is the most popular dance amongst frum Jews. It is very simple and anyone can learn in three minutes, it makes BT’s and the token secular co-workers feel right at home when they are invited to frum events. The dance is basically when someone rubs their sweaty hand on your back as they sway side to side, I always try to shove the thought what if we were all naked right now, away from my brain because it would just suck.
The Hora:
I have no idea how secular Jews have made the hora look like its some sort of amazing Jewish tradition, its just a bunch of people who wash netilas yadyim instead of with soap after the bathroom spreading their germs around the wedding hall while doing a fast circle dance. Lock sweaty hands with your neighbors and dance around and around until they play that song where everyone starts jumping in the air.
Frummy electric slide:
Have any of you ever been to a frum wedding where the band takes the popular song electric slide and adapts it into frummy music when played with a rock band and full brass section? Then the frummies proceed out onto the dance floor and replay you some bloopers from an old tape of the Backstreet boys practicing their moves. No one has rhythm, its quite funny to watch.
The Rave:
At every wedding there is always some off the derech kid who has to do the rave, the problem is that without light sticks and heavily doped up people it looks really dump, like you were air washing your hands.
The light bulb:
My favorite dance to do by far because its just funny to do. Most people don’t have as many hippie concerts under their belt as me so they stick to the same old twisting in and out of the light bulb. But for me its more then screwing in a light bulb, its about finesse and flowing around like a drugged up Jerry fan.
The twist:
No its not Chubby Checker you douche, it’s the dance if you can call it that, that allows to people to get nauseas and break a leg at the same time, not to mention polish the floor with their butts as well. Usually two men start to twist each other around, never understood how wedding music flowed with this dance, but it happens all the time.
The arm swing:(they banned this maneuver when the banned arm swinging in Lakewood)
This dance requires at least 3 people, usually women who dance in a circle and move to the center of the circle while raising their arms and hands to meet each other. Is there an official name to this one?
The ghetto moonwalk:
They don’t actually do a moonwalk, but a favorite dance during the portion of the wedding when I am eating soup and the chosson and kallah are seating in the center of the men’s dance floor, some of the younger cooler types will slap their feet and slide their shoes across the floor in an effort to be cool – it doesn’t work but its funny, and everyone thinks due to the alcohol served at the chossons tish that this kid has talent.
The jump:
Not sure what song it is, but at al frummy weddings there is one song that gets played and everyone starts to jump up and down like a bunch of Bresslovers.
The body bump:
One may say that this dance has Freudian homoerotic roots, though I hope not. Usually after a few drinks and a few dances a couple of fat guys get on the dance floor and feel the need to run into each other while people dance around them. Once again, we are lucky everyone wears clothing at weddings.
The huddle:
Exactly as stated above the huddle is when everyone locks arms around each others backs and huddles in for the next play in regards for what shtick they have in store.
Interlocked hands:
This is when two people lock their sweaty hands together and swing back and forth looking like morons. Sometimes they flap their hands in a motion that seems like they are imitating birds. This dance tends to happen when the chosson gets hoisted onto a chair and someone decides to try to pull him down by locking hands with him and dancing with him – however possible that is.
The garbage compactor:
Commenter Klem pointed out that I forgot this one. This is when 4 guys lack arms and dance up to another four guys who did they same thing. They then go back and forth like they are some sort of human garbage compactor until they realize how foolish they look after about 45 seconds. This dance never lasts too long.
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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
It’s a pity you never went to any lubavitch weddings…like everything in life, we do dancing a whole lot better.
Now that I’ve just (hopefully) incited the proletariat to run roughshod over moi, it’s time to go daven shacharis and learn some smicha.
And yes hesh, I know you’ve gone to lubavitch weddings.
“it’s time to go daven shacharis”
so early in the morning?
(only because you’ve encouraged us to run roughshod over you)
Haven’t been to a Frum wedding in a long time (actually we were invited to one in a few weeks but since it is in the middle of the week and in Brooklyn, we politely declined) thanks for the recap.
One you forgot is when the women get up and try to do their version of line dancing. What a hoot.
One may say that this dance has Freudian homoerotic roots, though I hope not.
LOL!
I Don’t know if you caught the shout out I made to you in my blog, but if you did, thanks for the topic post!
as for “The Jump,” I call that one “The Mosh” (could be different), where everyone just gathers to the middle and jump around. one of the songs could be the yamamai nigun from chaim david… or rebbe nachman song that’s a take off of the numa numa song
You are correct O great Zionist lion, es chatai ani mazkir hayom, b’rabim no less!
All that single-sex craziness should be kept to the privacy of the mikvah.
I usually stick to the “elbow dance”, this is where I stand on the sidelines sipping my beer or anything else from the open bar ,thereby excersizing my elbow.
You forgot the mosh pit where all the drunk guys start running into each other, and also the frum version of break dancing by the one or two guys that know how to move.
It would probably be funny/sad/gross if everyone were naked at these events, I doubt you would have too may family members attending when you’re grandparents were invited.
women also do this kind of dance when they split in groups of two, hold hands and lift them high to imitate gate. They stand in a row and the one girl left runs under the hands, picks one and runs to the front. The one left goes to the back, runs inside of this corridor and picks a girl etc.
Dainty Splendor you are referring to the Yaish Dance and I have not seen it done at any black hat wedding – it is reserved for the modern orthodox – they did it at my bar mitzvah.
I particular like the Ghetto Moonwalk.
I can’t say that I have ever seen the whole “bad dancing” thing laid quite like this. I giggled!
Well, I have. Actually, before i did the teshuva, I already practiced this yaish dance. It was in Russia. I was 3 and we learned it at the preschool..
Of couse you know the one song where everyone jumps up and down, its always “Ooooooh Ooooooh Ay yay yay, ooooooh oooooh ay yay yay”. Not sure why the tune every became popular cuz it sounds terrible.
You forgot that frummo dance where 4 guys have arms around each other and go back and forth and when they get back, 4 other guys do the same thing but going horizontally. it ends with people scattering for their lives if caught in middle of that sandwich.
“its just a bunch of people who wash netilas yadyim instead of with soap after the bathroom”
Ew. that was gross. lol. How bout doing both.
Klem your dance was added with recognition – I called it the garbage compactor.
here in israel the girls all learn to dance at school and can dance very sophisticated steps and very very fast.
also there are symbolic dances which tell the story of a woman’s life – like cooking, laundry, hanging out the washing, rocking the baby etc etc…
maybe its just american jewish men that can’t dance
the yiddein dance – where frum jews dance the alicat (i think that’s what its called) to MBD’s yidden, that you once ebedded a youtube video of the original song.
the Moshiach dance – some dance the yidden dance to it, and some dance, only the real cool ones, a real line dance (being in Texas, you should learn it). It is pretty complicated and has many steps to it. I was at a wedding where they like 10-15 guys doing it, it was mighty cool.
the over-under dance – all heimishe weddings have it, you have two guys holding its hands up and either you go under or you go over the pair of guys coming toward you. You always have the guys who just try to go crazy and mess it up.
the Real (haredi) hora – with all the different type of shtick. The basic dance consists of three steps forward and one step back. sometimes, you get to see a nice circle of like 30-40 guys going with the beat, SE’KNACKT
the choo choo train – the front guy steals one of the round trays from the wait staff and uses it as a steering wheel with a whole trail of ppl behind him holding on to the shoulders. of the guy in front of him The more he zig-zags between the shmoozers the cooler he is.
Maybe its that horrible secular life I led, but every time I’ve seen a bunch of men dancing together, the only goal was what is referred to as an abomination.
I dance with my wife, not with other men. I know thats just freaky for some people here, but I already know who is gonna condemn me over this.
This is a fantastic video of the pre-wedding, during the wedding, and the after party, including dancing, of a frum wedding.
Watch and laugh
http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=HBthec4v30Q
Chris,
Dancing with your wife is fine, but when it comes to orthodox weddings men and women are separated at least for dancing and usually for seating too. This was put in place to avoid “frivolity” when people are partying / drinking. I don’t know if you’ve been to many orthodox weddings yet, I strongly suggest against trying to dance with your wife at one.
Although it is probably against the laws of tzniyut to dance with your wife in public, the most chassidic sects do the “mitzvah tance” at weddings where the bride’s family and eventually the groom dance with her. OK, they’re not doing ballroom or rave dances, it’s more of a corny type dance by people that have no idea what they are doing, such as myself. They make a really big deal out of the whole process too, they get this “badchan” dude to roast the guests he invites to dance with the bride in yiddish, then they tip the guy for calling them up.
Anyway, I’m with you on the dancing with other men seeming abominable thing, but in reality it’s the “lesser of 2 evils” , the men aren’t actually dancing with each other the way men and women dance together, or for the same reasons. It’s all part of making the bride and groom happy.
Phil,
I was awaiting your comment! I am aware of the separation of sexes within the Orthodox world and the reasons.
If we ever get invited to a frummy wedding, we’ll probably be sitting off on the sidelines anyway. Not that the chances of us getting invited to one here in Tokyo are high anyway, but it would be fun to watch.
Chris,
Figured you were referring to either me or a couple of the other lubabs we all know.
Funny enough, when I got married, some of my buddies tied me and the wife together using tablecloths at the end of the dancing, we ended up dancing to Stairway to heaven. The rabbis mostly gone by then, although my mom had a puzzled look while this was all happening.
Chris I am going to do a post on how frummies segregate non frummies at events
The part where some guy puts the chassan on his shoulders, or the time where (gasp) a woman, the kallah, comes onto the mens side. Then there is the best of all dances, which really isnt a dance, where one guy talks to his wife through the mechitza for hours on end. Great post Hesh.
nice. I missed this, first time around.
The baby swap is another popular dance. (if babies are present)
what about the bull dance with a napkin? That’s my favorite one