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Things I love about shabbos

The complimentary post to last weeks “annoying things that happen on shabbos

When people cut full slices of challah for you instead of those dinky cut in half pieces

When I sleep late and the shul I went to actually started on time

Getting to shul and realizing there is a big Kiddush

Finding an ashkenaz siddur in a spehardi shul

Finding an artscroll at chabad

Getting to my hosts house and realizing they are having a bunch of girls my age staying over as well

Having a chazzan that busts out the carelbach style kabalas shabbos

Getting look at the girls during the lecha dodi look back


Shabbos shluff

Shalom zachors

Looking over the mechitza and knowing there are actually girls behind it (its empty and lonely all week)

Putting on nice clothing

Time to clear my head and think of things to write

Shabbos offer a venue discuss community politics and catch up on all the loshon horah (you would think they would have banned shabbos meals a long time ago because of this reason)

Moscato Diasti sure to get a bunch of people yelling about how its not wine but really soda, but as a man comfortable with my sexuality I will admit that I look forward to the blue bottle being whipped out at the shabbos table- especially if I have to wait for regular drinks.

Old guys named Marvin and Irv who bicker in back of the shul on shabbos

Catching up on reading

Going to shachris, seems that shabbos is the only time I actually go

Kiddush clubs

The only time of the week I ever eat herring or chopped liver

Other funny posts about shabbos:

Guide to saying good shabbos

First shabbos living in Dallas

Shabbos goy university

Kosher for shabbos toilet paper

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • Texgator

    Walking home from Shul on Friday night with my 5 year old and talking about the important things in life (toys, bikes, sports…and sometimes Torah).

  • I’m going to be serious here for a moment.

    Just seeing people.

  • no phone, no laundry, no work, just family, friends, friday night games with the kids, looking at old photo albums, finding old books to reread, snuggling on the couch with kids who say they are too big to snuggle but love it anyway, endless cups of herbal tea, a husband who is home for meals.

    I think I might actually post about this stuff…

    do you go to enough singles weekends? and do you cook during the week? And your post-annoying things about shabbos- may have been irreverant but was too funny

  • m00kie

    going to sleep at 8pm on friday night, talking to my family without arguing about whos going to drive who in which car, dessert, davening without rushing to finish it all during the commercial break, reading mindless and cheesy novels, lying in bed daydreaming and planning without the guilt of not doing

  • Catching up on my Daf and reading. The NY Times Magazine. Food – if my wife cooks

    One thing that tops it all: If my Blackberry beeps durning Shabbos that I got email, I actually get very excited, even though I have to wait to open it.

  • shevers

    That’s why I turn my phone off before Shabbos.

  • The only time of the week I treat myself to a nice Reposado (I’m talking about teqila as well).

  • MoFo

    The mitzva of onah.
    Onah rocks (literally).

  • Now now, don’t give all the singles ideas…

  • A break for me. Thank G-d we were commanded to rest, otherwise I wouldnt.

  • Onah does rock, but self onah is not allowed on shabbos- thats a future post

  • o-n-a-h, onah …

  • Chris_B

    Seeing some people I like who I dont see that often


    sleeping all day

  • MoFo


    Since when is self-inflicted onah allowed anytime??

    We just read last week’s parsha about Yehuda’s two sons who were struck for their illegal monkey-spanking.

    Looking forward to that future post…

  • Bsamim Smoker

    craking open the Jewish News and seeing pictures of all those people you thought were Chariedi at the local JCC gala fundraiser, than you see them in shul the next day and your thinkin “swinger”

  • u forgot sleeping!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    isn’t that what shabbos is all about?

    Snuggling up in bed on a long summer shabbos afternoon…yum…

    the good ole “shabbos shluff”

  • oops, u didnt forget it. *blush*

  • Bsamim Smoker

    Debating potlitics and religion during Haftorah usually with I-used-to-be-in-yeshivah-now-Im-normal guy

  • Bsamim Smoker

    Cheking out the single girls at the kiddush, who are either too frum to talk to you or are talking to like 5 other guys

  • Bsamim Smoker

    smelling bsamim at havdalah

  • Jelen

    omg herring! hahaha! i don’t think i’ll ever be secure enough to just keep a jar in my fridge and snack on it in the middle of the night. only old men can do that. but i can DEFINITELY get away with it on shabbos. and who cares about stinky breath? there’s no cute boys at my shul anyway.

  • Bsamim Smoker

    Friday night oneg at Fort Jackson, its nice to take a break from the drama of basic training at least for an hour so

  • Basmin smoker what kind of basmin do you use???

  • Bsamim smoker , how do you know they r too frum to talk to u? did u ever try?

    probably the reason there r 5 guys talking to the other girl is becoz one guy (her brother? a neigbour? an adventurous sort?) was talking to her, so the other guys were like “hey, yeah, SHE talks to guys”, and zoomed in.

  • Bsamim Smoker

    Frum Satire
    Cinnomon, cloves rosemary is good too. Anything legal.

    By the way I sent you an e-mail a while back ago about making a blog called Dorm Debates Gone Wild did you recieve that

  • Bsamim Smoker

    girls who wear only black, don’t wear high heals and have no personality are usually VERY frum. Trust me I used to work in lakewood as soon as I exchanged a simple pleasentry such as good morning, they look arround to see if there are any shadchan spies(basically anyone chariedi)within eyesight because chas v’shalom they wouldn’t want word to get arround that she was seen having a conversation with a boy, because that would ruin her chances of ever getting a ben-torah shidduch(who of course will sit and learn in kollel the rest of his life,while she is burdened with caring for the kids ,keeping the house,dinner and making a parnasah(why would anyone want to over exert theirselves to such a degree is beyond me.But each to her own) )she’ll totally ignore me(who would want to be dubbed “the town slut”). SO THATS HOW I KNOW!!!

  • april

    I think if you did a little self onah, FrumSatire, you’d stop seeing female-related activities as the highlight of your shabbos.

  • Bsamim Smoker

    I always suspected you were Hesh’s girlfriend

  • Perverted Psycho

    thinking about you doing self onah is really hot

  • Perverted Psycho

    Do you use your fingers or a vibrater

  • Bsamim Smoker

    Perverted Psycho
    If you want cyber sex there are plenty of websites out there to suit your needs. You’ll gain no rank in the blogging world by being a horny guy that wants to get his rocks off. Men like you are a dime a dozen.

  • Bsamim Smoker

    Dear Perverted Psycho
    If you want to get your rocks off there are many websites out there to suit your needs. You’ll gain no rank you in blogging world by making comments such as those. You lack depth and humor and your obviously not that intelligent either. Guys like you are a dime a dozen.

  • Bsamim Smoker

    Oh and by the way I’d show I little more respect than that to Hesh’s girlfried.

  • Bsamim Smoker