What is the deal with frum women and black lately?
I don’t remember when the trend shifted from navy and gray but the black is killing my eyes. It almost seems as if it’s a subconscious way to profile other frum women- since everyone is wearing black, the more “modern” ones are wearing other colors and the “slutty” ones may be wearing red. Wait wasn’t red banned anyway?
I am bothered by the black trend in frummy fashion if we must call it that, for several reasons. First off it is slimming, the obesity can be hidden in the shadows and if you take the angle of the sun into thought when taking pictures to post on your frumster or facebook profile you can lose 50 pounds. I also don’t like how boring it is, unless they have fishnets and a visible garter belt I really don’t see how black can be anything but boring.
So are frum women who don’t wear all black, especially on shabbos looked at in similar ways that frum men are looked at for not wearing dark suits and white shirts
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You’re absolutely right, black black black. I guess they want to always be ready for a funeral. Or they want the shuls to not look racist with all the white talaisim on the other side.
you are so right. was wondering the same thing my self this past shabbos at a shabbaton – i was the only female at my table NOT wearing all black. bright green instead.
and yeh – was kind of looked at for not being boring.
glad to know that there are guys out there who like some colour around the place.
This is one of those frummy trends that people follow just because everyone else seems to be doing it too. Then, if you don’t follow it, you’re made to feel like you’re doing something wrong. Even young girls are wearing black now!
you just can’t go wrong with a little black dress (not so little, if you’re frum). you’re never underdressed, never overdressed. I own one dress. It’s black and sleeveless. I put a light blue button-front sweater over it and — bam — shoulders and arms are covered, I’m not wearing all black. Instant modesty.
Its such a bullshit trend that really pisses me off and I blogged about it about 18 months go:
http://jacobdajew.blogspot.com/2007/06/women-in-black.html
Black isn’t boring… depends what kind of black. Its kind of hipster.
you’re not the first to consider black clothing a frummy thing. you see , i never thought of it that way. black is slimming. many women frum or not have weight issues, and many live in the new york area where black clothing in general is the general dress code.
i for one prefer wearing colors. colors tend to hide the dandruff flakes better than black.
Ive said for a while that frummy weddings look like Johnny Cash concerts. The fashionistas from Crooklyn accessorize with a white or red belt sometimes pushed real high to show off some curve.
There is a general idea of not attracting attention to yourself (also known as “tznius” — I know, one of those crazy concepts) is a good thing, especially for a Jewish woman (men too). In addition, there is a strong conviction that using hitzoiniustike ways to identify and distinguish yourself (such as through specific clothing you wear) is not the right way to do it. People should be distinguished through their behavior, thoughts, etc. Therefore, if you wear plain, non-attractive, but respectful color (such as black or black and white), you’re most likely to fulfill all of the above.
The same reason why men wear black and white clothes in frum world and why they wear black kippas — as if to say, “This is not a fashion statement [or a clever way to cover a bald spot], this is a simple and necessary expression of who we are.” There is nothing more to a kippa than the fact that it is a kippa — an expression of yiras Shamayim. The same about clothes. They are just a way to do a mitzva of tznius, not a way to say something about yourself (doesn’t mean they cannot be tasteful, clean, respectful, etc.).
i for one prefer wearing colors. colors tend to hide the dandruff flakes better than black.
-)
Shampoos are good for that too.
one second!!!!! only NEW YORK frummy women wear black!!!
us out of towners are VERY colorful!!!!
Out of towners aren’t as frum as NYkers
I love to wear black, but now that it’s been labeled a “frummy” thing, I may have to start wearing colors again!
I’m pretty sure they have to wear black because they can’t wear red. Presumably this also applies to anything carrying a red wavelength, so the only other choices are Green, Blue, and Cyan on the RGB scale. I guess those other 3 colors aren’t in fashion this year?
As a girl my mother never allowed me to wear black (except for skirts) saying “Black is for old ladies!” Now that I’m old it still makes me feel uncomfortable. Also my husband’s comment when I wear all black on Shabbat is usually something like “You’re not supposed to mourn on Shabbat!”
So, even though it does make me look a bit slimmer I dont usually wear all black.
I haven’t gone completely black yet. I’ve “spiced up” my wardrobe with a bit of chestnut brown. @Es frum women in London are all about the black trend too, unfortunately. Maybe we’re on par with NYers?
LOL! Thanks, Hesh. I’ve been wondering about this myself. You inspired another blog rant.
Silly guys, the answer is simple … black is slimming!
LOL
I love black! It’s a beautiful color. Viva la black!
Wearing all black is frequently a sign of manic depression.
Need I say more, when referring to the women you describe?
“Out of towners aren’t as frum as NYkers”
were just as frum- probably even FRUMMER—- just not as “frummy”
I HATE the black trend and so does my husband because he can never find me at weddings. I recently bought a tomato-red dress and wear it to fancy occasions. I have gotten a LOT of comments (good and bad) but don’t really care. I look good in red!
Conclusion: You weren’t dreaming.
Bottom line Black is slimming…no matter what the item is it makes me look skinnier in black so thats the way i go.
Also black matches everything and u dont have to make sure all ur colors match and are same shade- top, skirt, tights, shoes etc…
Im not a frummy so its really a convenience and skinny issue for me but forr frummies i think they feel its most tznius and subdued
Hesh,
Maybe you could mess with BTs (like myself) by saying that Jews were the original Goths (the subculture, not the Germanic tribe) and that’s why people wear black.
Even *I’ve* run into that “penguin” business, and I’m not even a frummy. See the second to last paragraph here. I see two problems with it: 1) It discourages individuality, and 2) Not everyone individual, male or female, looks good in black. It makes me look quite pale unless I wear a ton of make-up (which kind of kills the “don’t draw attention to yourself” idea, doesn’t it?)
I mostly wear black as it is slimming. (As if it would help me….LOL)
For my son’s wedding 4 years ago, I dafka wore not black (got tired of black), and I’m a REALLL frummie!)
Looked fatter than ever. Switched back to black for this year’s wedding…..
My Friend’s 3 year old pointed out a great observation “girls wear pink, boys wear blue and mommys wear black”
I had always notice this. It is really amazing that frummies keep concerning themselves with stupid bullcrap like “Is this dress frum enough?” The next thing you know, women from Flatbush and Lakewood will be put into cherem or receive 39 malkos for wearing sneakers and saying good shabbos to men.
Dude public 39 malkos would be an awesome pay per view show.
Shmully that is great!
i totally agree. black is a funeral color. i was just at convention and id have to say 90 percent of the girls (its not just women) were wearing black (and white)
I am very, very frum. I don’t wear black. Why did Hashem create color?
Frum is the new black?
Black is easy because you don’t have to match. All black with one flashy necklace or shoes or something isn’t so boring.
But, I am breaking out of the box. Tomorrow I’m going to a wedding and wearing a gray dress and red shoes. I can’t even believe it.
Relax, take a deep breath and you may find that eggplant purple is the new “black.”
Come to Israel, there’s less black. None at funerals either.
Actually black isn’t “slimming.” Asymetrical cuts and “distractions” are. Big, black blobs just look like fat big black blobs.
I take the next shirt in my drawer.
@Crawling Axe
I kind of buy the tznuis argument, ‘cept of course that it leaves girls who didn’t get the memo (or don’t want to shop for a new wordrobe) out cold and therefore untznius even though everything is covered and nothing’s clinging and that’s kind of unfair to a bt or kid who doesn’t want to wear uniforms out of school.
At lectures it’s a standard duty length A line black wool skirt and pastel sweater, and simchas get the suit variant.
So happy you pointed this out. I HATE when my wife wheres black. I make my wife where LIGHT or BRIGHT colors even if its winter. It just looks better and less depressing.
Black is just a color that looks good on accessories. You dont design the interior of your house in BLACK because you do not want to look at that all day. While people get black cars the inside is usually a different color.
I wonder what women would say if men wore ONLY black shirts black pants etc. all the time.
And if they complain we could just say what they say “It makes us look skinnier and it matches our shoes”!!!!
Girls I want to hear some responses!
I was just at a Shabbaton, hated my time, and one of the things I noticed was that the young Frum girls who were doing the babysitting were wearing black, black, and only black. Well, there was a hint of white once in awhile but not much. I joked to my friend that their schools must have an awful science program because they’ve never heard of my man ROY G BIV (mnemonic for 7 primary colors of the visible spectrum.) I wasn’t sure if it was a trend or that the education and homelife was so bad that it broke down their individuality and drained the life out of them. Well, at least my mom still wears colors, so that’s a Pyrrhic victory on my part.
Maybe we just dont have enough frumessess (frumettes?) here, but I’ve seen no evidence of this in Tokyo. Then again Orthodox == Chabad here.
Did u guys ever consider that we wear black coz that’s what’s in the stores?
I wrote about this on my blog, Brooklyn North, following a trip to Wyoming, read it!
northofbrooklyn.blogspot.com
There’s this gal at Brooklyn College, obviously a frum Jew, who wore all black one day. I say her in the hall. She had a short black skirt, a black top, black boots…and pink-and-black striped tights. I instantly forgave the black ensemble–those tights were cute!
Because they can’t wear snug fitting clothing to show off their figure, so black tends to “slenderize” their image, without being untzniot. Or something. I’m completely making this up out of my butt. Sounds good though, right?
Its absolutely true
Simple enough. We’ve got burqas, modesty patrols, stonings and chemical attacks on girls who talk to boys. The ultra-frum are just stealing ideas from the Muslims. And not your modern Muslims or your smiling whirling Sufis but from their spiritual brethren the Wahabis and Afghan hillbillies.
I hate black!
I just figured that Hashem gave each one of us a unique personality, and it will obviously show in our way of dressing. As long as it`s modest, why not wear something that reflects who you are?!
Another issue is that unless you shop at the frummy stores (which, by the way are expensive as heck,) most of the clothes that are up to standard are either white blouses or black shirts and dresses… In fact on this women’s Orthodox conversion board I frequent we are constantly looking out for pretty and hopefully colorful clothes that A. Don’t cost a million bucks and B. Don’t require us to wear ugly long sleeve tees to get the sleeve and collar length right.
Crawling axe is correct. Also, by centering our attention more on one’s neshama and mind capacity it clarifies the (in fact) obvious realization that physically we are all the same, and we differ in the chiddushim we can come up with when ridding our selves of such physicality. Materialism and physicality are things that keep us further from yiras shamayim, and keeping it simple (black and white for example) is a way to get closer. Worrying about which abercrombie shirt I want to wear today isn’t the number one concern usually
black is so boring. the point of tznius is to be modest, not necessarily self-effacing.
and anyways, what does my shirt’s lack of color have to do with my neshama? doesnt the gemara say something about how its important for husband to give their wives colored clothing? does anyone know the source for that?
The women are much more holy than the men.
It should therefore be the WOMEN who start putting up the mechitza, and dividing the space in the synagogue – for the men.
The women have been stupid enough to accept the:
walls;
fences;
black opaque glass;
single windows covered by a thick opaque curtain;
duvets; and
canvases
that the men (‘dayanim’ &’rabbis’) have put up to screen them off.
Remember the thick curtains that are actually nailed to the glass, just in case a woman may wish to view a Sefer Torah.
This is a complete insult to the women – and an insult to Hashem, and the Shechinah.
It is time this was corrected – by the women.
If a striped, colorful coat was OK for Yaakov and Yoseph, why do frum men AND women now look like a black and white movie?
I’m so tired of seeing women wearing all black – including shoes, bag, and accessories. Don’t they have any imagination at all? Black is the color of death; all the psycho-killers wear it all the time. Lighten up ladies, add a little color to your life, and maybe (if you are interested in attracting men) you will have more men pay attention to you!
reflection of the underlying mood
My shop sells modest, but modern, clothes in a wide range of colors. ALL the “frummest” women wear black, the poor women in conversion classes learn to wear all black (and wonder why but don’t dare ask), and just last week one of the local kollel rabbis wrote an article for the shabbos newsletter saying that people (presumably including women) should dress as individuals and not in all black like everyone else!!! Despite this, I get almost no business from the frum community, but lots from the goyim…..
Now that spring has sprung (though it feels more like summer right now) and the trees and flowers are starting to burst with bright colors, let’s see if the frumettes will follow “suit,” or it will be another drab and dingy season for them.
The religious ‘frum’ women who wear black, and ALL black, ALL THE TIME – could not look more depressing. And they look depressed. And they look miserable. Add a sheital or a tichel and a hat to that – and you have a very depressed Jewish woman.
If the religious ‘frum’/orthodox women started wearing some COLOURS – including a cheerful red which can be matched very nicely with black – they would actually start to feel happier: as they should.
If they continue wearing black – they will continue to feel depressed.
I thought that they are depressed simply because they are Orthodox? If they’d just loosen up they’d start to feel happier. Yup, I nailed it.
To HJX,
Why should a woman be depressed because she is orthodox? Quite the opposite! She should be happy!
In particular, all joy and the Brachot of good health and livelihood come from the great merit of keeping Shabbat (with joy and simcha!) – the 4th Commandment given at Har Sinai.
If orthodox women are not as happy as they should be, it is because of the rabbis who are being paid by communities, instead of working voluntarily. They do not learn the Torah ‘lishmah’ with a pure love for the Torah, nor do they have true Ahahavat Yisrael. They have to be paid to do anything. And they have also twisted the Torah in a number of areas, to suit themselves.
That’s why people are not as happy as they should be.
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