There have been many rumors in the Blog-velt that frum satire is moving out of Monsey. As I recall Utubefan commented on my original post when I said I was going to be moving from Albany to Monsey that I wouldn’t last a year. Indeed I have lived in Monsey since March of this year and this week will be my last week – hopefully forever.
Its not really that I dislike Monsey or the people, in fact since March I have spent a total of 6 shabbosim in Monsey and most of my time was spent away since I was laid off from my job in Monsey in August. Since then I have assumed a transient exitsance floating around the east coast with computer in hand.
My company has an office in a city far away and they said I was welcome to try it out for a few months if I like. I immediately said yes and put almost everything I own in the basement of my cousins house in Monsey. I have finally achivied a status I have hoped for for much of my adult life. All of my belongings can fit in the back of my car and it feels damned good.
I was going to tell everyone where I am moving but then I kind of want to keep the suspense – but its a small community and its over 1500 miles from New York and I am super pumped. Unfortunately it means I wont be doing any shows for the next couple of months – but if I could get a decent manager who could organize a weeks worth of stuff I would love to come back for a visit.
I really don’t love the place I am moving, too flat, too hot – but its closer to the true west and it gets me out of the east coast.
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{ 40 comments… read them below or add one }
If its close enough to Wisconsin you should spend a Shabbos in Milwaukee.
If you’re open to gusses, too flat and too hot sounds like Texas to me. I lived there for about a year, my in laws live there as well as some of my friends. If I’m right, pop me an email if you need some Jewish contacts there, I can hook you up with some frummies (or not so frummies).
Shevers, if it’s 1,500 miles from Monsey, then that’s a lot further than Wisconsin.
Hesh, if it’s hot, flat, and 1,500 miles away, my guess is you’re going to Dallas.
How are you ever going to find a wife somewhere hot and flat AND 1,500 miles from NYC???????
If you’re coming to Houston, do you need a place for Shabbat?
Let me know if there are any Jews in Des Moines. I saw job posting that pays more than my NY area job, and I’m sure the cost of housing in Iowa is one quarter of what I’m paying in Overpriced Yeshivish Suburb, NJ
There are Jews in Des Moines and they have a Kollel.
Well based on my description of hot flat and “over” 1500 miles away it could be pretty much anywhere. Jacksonville, New Orleans, Oklahoma City, Anywhere along the gulf coast from Florida to Texas, Arizona, California, NM. The choices are endless
Mazal tov and kol tuv!
Please let me know if it is Dallas….that would be crazy. I don’t know many yids here in town that know of you, but I’m a fan.
No. Wisconsin is 1000 miles from New York. It’s really not such an overshoot…
You know what I am sure if I have fans there they will see me in shul- its not that big
I’m pretty sure it’s Houston. Why? Because it makes sense. It’s not California, because there are five million Jews in California.
Too bad you’re not moving someplace awesome like Chicago or Denver (I don’t live either place, but can vouch for the awesomeness of the community).
I worry that your humor will lose it’s flair being in non-SUPER FRUMMIE places. Sad. Day
But hey, at least it isn’t Nebraska?
Chavi within one year I either want to be living in Boulder Colorado – Israel or someplace with mountains and good skiing. Looks like my brother is moving to Portland so that is definitely an option.
Chavi this blog was started when I lived in Albany NY and all my best posts are from that era
Seriously, move to Denver. I’d murder a small village to get back there. It’s freakin’ beautiful.
Boulder is nice … but … really … you have the FAR RIGHT and the FAR LEFT and it just gets annoying after a while.
Come to Columbus OH, We have a nice community here. It’s flat, but not hot.
we will miss your keen observations of life on this different planet called monsey….
Got to agree with Chavi, you’re going to run dry on frummy stories. On the brighter side, if you do end up in Dallas (where I lived), Houston or similar cities, you’ll get to switch to small town frummy politics and turf wars between feuding Chabad houses and kollels competing for the same few rich dudes to become “their” guys. I’ve seen it, hate it, but it’s simply an unfortunate fact of life in not so frum land.
If you are coming to Houston, you gotta check out the Meyerland Minyan. It’s probably the only shul in the world that has hosted bochurim learning programs from Lakewood, OU/YU, and Chovevei Torah (in the last year). Black felt hats and white cowboy hats (mine), black suits and baggy shorts. And the best cholent south of the mason-dixie line.
Well it can’t be Des Moines because it’s only 1100 miles from NY. The main kollel there closed down a few years ago but now they have a Torah Mitziyon Kollel with one family. We lived there four years ago and it’s a nice town. But it does sound more like TX. Hatzlacha raba!
-Dixie Yid
Born and bred Dallas
I also said that you would never meet a girl your type in Monsey. Texas girls have big hair and wear a lot of makeup, but those Colorado/Oregon girls have to be the outdoorsy down to earth types. Well, picture us Monsey folk waving you off into the sunset at the corner of Eli’s bagels with all the illegal immigrant workers. L’Hitraot! Maybe a parade of hummers driven by real estate hockers or silver Lexuses driven by Chasidish guys in construction or black Escalades driven (sort of) by hot Chanies with their huge sunglasses and tall dominatrix boots. Yes, that’s it, a Hot Chanie parade! Shalom. Be well. Make sure to get some greasy Chinese food from the at-risk-youthers before you go. But then, they probably have kosher Chinese in…San Antonio?
good for you man. but something about this makes me sad – like you’re giving up the fight – and the fight is a good one. anyway, best of luck and keep it real
i think its atlanta
You know, Shua, I get that feeling about him too. Interesting how blogs have vibes.
Anonymous … that’s not even 900 miles. And it isn’t west.
People, come on. He said WEST and more than 1,500 MILES! And it’s hot and it’s flat. That’s midwest, most definitely southern Midwest.
Anyway, can we start putting bets on where we think you’re going
Oh come on Hesh, don’t be coy… have fun in TX. I can hook you up with some Chabad down there, if you so wish. Who knows, maybe you’ll finally meet the hot Lubavitch girl of your dreams; one who will let you eat Ben and Jerrys as long as you wash your mouth out afterward. Maybe she’ll even share it with you if you promise not to tell anyone…
Monsey will miss you. For shame that I didn’t get to meet you while you were there.
Sad to see you leave the East Coast, but at least you don’t have to wear a “vinter” coat.. and someting to leave you with…… thought you might find this site interesting… http://www.cooljewishtshirts.com
Im moving to monsey and now you are leaving!!!! So typical that I never got the chance to meet you Hesh!! Maybe in another life!!
I’m thinking Phoenix… Anyone with me on that?
If it is PHX, lovely city and community.
Hot and flat? Sounds like Hesh IS going on a date
TRUE! You should have been looking in Colorado the whole time man. I’ve met some of the coolest down to earth outdoorsy frummy girls from there. Too bad the one I’m thinking of is married…
Momo I was thinking Phoenix…cant believe u beat me!!
Did you move to DOTHAN, AL??
I knew that offer was hard to refuse.
Let’s get a pool going, $50 per person per state, winners of the state split the pot. Anyone in?
i’ll miss you, buddy. when do you skip town? You should be sent off in style.
To think that my company just told me my move might not happen. Jeez- the false excitement- Shua I am honored that you feel I am fighting for something. Well I do wish there were more free concrete skateparks in the city.
M’shaneh makom, m’shaneh mazal.
Your move should bring you great things, G-d willing.
My sister’s in AZ, but she’s married to a goy…
mazal tov on your new move. I hope all goes well.