I’m in real estate is such a common saying in the yeshvish hocker slightly off the derech in that I have friends who are girls kind of way. I meet frum people who are in “real estate” so much that I begin to wonder what it exactly is that they do. Do these 23 year olds who are in the FDU program for yeshivish kids who need to finish college faster then at Touro actually own any properties? Are they full of crap? They always seem to have nice cars like an Infinity G35, and know what they are talking about – I can never figure it out.
Then I was talking with a friend who revealed something not so startling to me, in the world of yeshivish hocker real estate when people say they own “buildings” it usually means that they found an ad in the back of the Yated or Jewish Press advertising for low cost slum houses in Newark or Trenton.
Countless numbers of times I have found myself on the toilet reading the Yated, I always feel guilty reading about Chassidic rebbes while sitting there, but I always find myself drawn to the classifieds where heimishe offices are looking for sales ladies that speak Yiddish and are good with bookkeeping. You can also buy a bungalow colony, successful pizza store or bakery in Lakewood or investment property in some of the highest crime rate cities in the country.
I just love those ads that say Heimishe investment opportunity, buy delapidated abandoned homes in Newark to turn a profit, serious inquiries only, own your dream home today. Next time Yoily says he owns property- you can one up him and tell him about your “buildings” and how good of an investment it is.
I love when you see a bunch of yeshivish or chassidish hockers with their thick framed glasses standing in line at the bagel store and hocking about real estate. Always seems like the real estate guys can hook you up with whatever you need.
Almost seems like they are part of the bigger hocker industry as a whole that includes, matzo bakeries, lulav sales, used car leasing, sheitle machering, some sort of waiter business to supply caterers with off the derech high school guys as cheap labor and expedited passport services.
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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Couldn’t have spoken better about Brooklyn any better (Flatbush and Boro Park)
Can you post about those really hot Avenue J wives who dress slutty and wear all black?
…so then they ARE in real estate? being a slum lord is real estate, you know.
You’re forgetting the whole sub-industry of ‘mortgages.’
I knew somebody who bought a lot of real-estate in New Orleans and seemed to make some business from it. He had some difficulties, though: some of the locals had huge plazma TVs but would not pay the rent. People who had to be hired to renovate the projects were half-drunk to drunk-almost-to-the-point-of-coma most of the time, despite being good craftsmen.
Eventually, he graduated from law school and left (I guess right now there is not much going on in real estate market over yonder).
Anon- being a slum lord of 3 dilapidated houses in Newark that you bought for 2500 bucks a piece is not real estate to me.
A23 your right as always- but I cant be a super man
Crawling axe- I bought a truck off some guy on unemployment in some trailer park that had a TV and sound system worth more then 10 grand
if the mikva I use at the chasidishe shtible in my hood would get a half percent commission on the deals made in its murky waters the place would be rich!
Here’s how I see it. People will say that they are in the following sub-categories of real estate:
1. Ownership – Most guys don’t even bother saying that they own real estate bec most of the time you know that they’re lying through their teeth.
If they do own a “building” its probably some roach/rat infested POS in east Flatbush that they bought with OPM so that they can “Rehab” and “Flip” it. Good luck finding some sucker to take it off your hands in this market buddy.
2. Management – If your father/father-in-law/rich friend actually owns a building they might hire you to “manage” the building. This usually means that you are a glorified errand boy. Once in a while you will actually come across someone who knows what they are doing and actually manages some buildings (these guys are far and few between).
3. Finance – If you were in residential mortgages, you’re unemployed. If you were in commercial mortgages, you’ll be unemployed soon.
Then you also have the ones who won’t tell you what they do, just that they’re “in real estate” and “working on some deals”.
Sometimes they will throw some big numbers at you to impress you: “I’m working with ______ (name drop here) on a $50 million deal”. Even if they aren’t actually lying, they’re probably making about $372 in commissions on the $50 million deal. But at least they get to brag about the deal they closed.
I feel that most people who say they are “in real estate” don’t actually make any money from real estate. They are using real estate as another form of kollel and leeching off their parents and in-laws.
I work in real estate, and make a nice living, but I don’t drive a flashy car, nor do I parade around boasting about the deals that I’m doing. I’m sure that there are others out there like me just working hard and making a decent living, without trying to show off.
Now thats a good comment- thank you for that- it was much needed.
Funy, my brother in law (satmar) was managing some slums his family owned in Buffalo for a few years, I think they got rid of them before the housing crisis. Funny enough, one of his names is Yoel, although he doesn’t use it.
Reading chassidish mags in the toilet should be fine as long as the article aren’t discussing Torah, as it is forbidden to think of Torah in the bathroom. I run into the problem once in a while, I read mishpacha magazines in the bathroom, sometimes you start an article and it gradually leads into halachic topics. Even worse, they occasionally print ads with Hashems name in Hewbrew (usually snapshot of a siddur or Chumash), this is definitely a problem.
Hah! Great post. Be careful when a yeshiva guy comes up to you asking to invest in a deal he’s involved with.
I know more than a few people in Brooklyn and Lakewood who invested with a guy Eli Weinstein, who literally mortgaged their homes to give that crook money, and he lost (or spent) it all on a pyramid scheme, paying the first investors a huge return to convince the next group of dopes how smart he was.
Now he’s being sued all over the country, and yet he’s STILL looking for more people to invest with him in distressed real estate, now that the market has turned.
Caveat emptor – and with this crook, just run far away if he hits you up for money.
http://njjewishnews.com/justASC/2008/01/17/from-here-to-affinity/
BTW, with regard to the flashy cars, if you’re single and living at home, you can put all your money toward your car. When I first started in real estate, there were two other guys who started at the same time as me. None of us had closed any deals, but the company was giving us a minimal draw. One of the guys was making $300 a week and driving a Jaguar which cost him $500+/month to lease. It was worth it for him. He got to drive around in a Jaguar and tell chicks he was “in real estate”.
Well I am damned proud of my car with over 300k miles on it – single real estate machers be damned
I know people who buy slum housing. The deal is this: You find tenants, then help them apply for Section 8, so you are gauranteed rent money. You only take tenants who qualify for Section 8, otherwise you run the risk of no rental incom.
Re: Rocky
Google: “Wextrust Capital”
Future Druggie // Oct 30, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I know people who buy slum housing. The deal is this: You find tenants, then help them apply for Section 8, so you are gauranteed rent money. You only take tenants who qualify for Section 8, otherwise you run the risk of no rental incom.
As someone who IS in real estate, this is a moronic comment. The waiting lists for Sec. 8 are years long. You can try to get tennants that ALREADY have sec. 8, but there is plently of compatiotion for them.