Sequel to the original Best ways to mess with BT’s post.
Tell them that you cannot eat anything on succos resembling an etrog for fear of eating the actual etrog;
Tell them that they must not sleep at all on Rosh Hashanah;
Tell them to bow 5 times each time we do Alenu on Yom Kippur;
Tell them they must make an arbah minim salad after they are done with them, in order that the lulav and esrog will not go to waste;
Tell them to lean to the left while they eat in the sukkah;
Tell them that they must bang their hoshanos until all the leaves are gone to signify that all our sins will be gone as well;
Tell them to make a bracha each time they smell their esrog during davening;
Tell them that it’s a zechus to bid $613 for an aliyah;
Convince them that going to the bathroom is assur on Yom Kippur because it is pleasurable;
Tell them that at tashlich we begin to prepare for getting rid of our chometz;
Give them the lulav upside down;
Tell them to pull the pitom off right after they make a bracha on the four spices;
Scream with horror when you tell them their esrog is really just a bumpy lemon and they were screwed;
Tell them to do the rain dance when we pray for geshem;
Tell them that succos is a vegetarian holiday because we are trying to be one with the land;
Get them to read Megilas Esther instead of Koheles;
Get them to read Koheles to the tune of the Yardbirds song;
Tell them that during the aseres yimay teshuva is like Ramadan and you must fast every day to prepare for Yom Kippur;
Tell them that to keep the kids interested so late in davening its customary to run up to the kohanim during duchening and pull the talesim off and it’s a huge honor;
Its assur to spit on Yom Kippur because people may think you drank something;
Tell them that its assur to think about food on Yom Kippur and in the olden days people would get lashes for it;
Explain to them the sexual significance of lulavim;
Tell them that Chassidim use so many haddassim because it determines the amount of children you will have;
Tell them that after Yom Kippur they should check if they have a black and blue mark where they beat their chest to make sure they did proper teshuvah;
Any good ideas from you will be added to the list