Kelsey Media

Jewish mother syndrome

13 comments

Look I know the whole Jewish mother concept works across the board but is talked about much more ion the secular Jewish community rather then the orthodox. But besides for Jewish mother guilt and worrying, there is one part of the Jewish mother that is an across the Jewish spectrum issue, and that involves food and feeding. I am not talking about feeding in the breast feeding sort of way, I am talking about the itch and feeling that Jewish mothers have towards people never having enough to eat, or even eating at all when they should be eating. “you didn’t eat enough” is common whenever I visit my many Jewish mothers.

I do have many Jewish mothers, I attract older women, they love me- I’m dead serious. No it’s a sexual thing, I sure hope not because I have some good friends who happen to be women in their 50s and 60s. Not only do they part good advice, good food and constant offerings of their nieces who just finished seminary, but they are always full of good humor.

I don’t know exactly why, but its probably because my mother passed away when I was 6, but it wasn’t until college that I discovered a special affinity towards me by older women. I know I sound like a gigolo, but I promise its all about the food, advice and humor, although being a gigolo sounds kind of fun.

I do notice the worrying and the guilt with some of these women. In fact if I am ever not hungry, which is rare, but happens – I can tell they are hurt, as if their food isn’t good enough for me- which is never true, I love food its always good enough- besides for fish balls with toothpicks in them on a platter of jelly from the jar at shalashudos. (shalosh suedot) for all of the uninitiated folks of frummy slang.

I remember one time I came from a barbeque to visit my friends mom- whom I am better friends with then him (this happens quite frequently- I befriend the parents and become better friends with them then the kids) In fact I had a girlfriend like that, I really felt bad about breaking up with her because I loved her parents. So anyway I’m at this women’s house and she is visibly mad at me and herself for not being on top of her Jewish mother game because I am not eating. Of course I was just full, but she took it personal as do many Jewish mothers, when you don’t eat.

“Nu, what’s a matter with you- you’re a growing boy!”

Yes but only my stomach grows nowadays.

“Narishkeit, how do you ever expect to make your wife happy?”

Fine I’ll have something…what do you have?

It usually comes down to force feeding for me, its not too bad. Just swirl the food around your plate and when they aren’t looking dump it in the plants or in the recycling bin or something. I was recently staying at my buddies house and his mom told me she doesn’t cook anymore- I was disappointed because she is a kick ass cook, but she felt very guilty about not doing shabbos, I told her I’d come the next time she was going to cook- which was succos or something.

  • Davida

    Every day you make me laugh, or tell me something important about the Jewish world, but I think I like this post the best of all.

  • http://shilohmusings.blogspot.com/ batya

    Dahing, when we met, I didn’t tell you to eat, I just told you to get up on that stage, right?

    And you did, and did a great job, because if you can write comedy, anything can be funny.

  • http://welcomebalance.blogspot.com s(b.)

    “Narishkeit, how do you ever expect to make your wife happy?” la la la la. That, and integrity and any number of other things.

  • http://sporadicintelligence.wordpress.com sporadic intelligence

    Maybe it’s like that for guys, but when the girls don’t eat, they make the same comment, but they’re secretly jealous of their self control. And when a girl does eat, they’re still jealous that she has the nerve to eat and still look so good.

  • Heterim are for Hippies

    “If you don’t have some food, when they call me asking about a shidduch for you I will tell them how stubborn you are!.”

    Seriously this is ridiculous. How far back do you think this syndrome goes? Of Jewish mothers’ obsession with shidduchim and food. I kind of wish they had more mitzvos so at least they’d be busier and stop bugging the heck out of us!

    Can you imagine Sara imeinu telling yitzchok “nu yitzchok, have some food already! You’re thin as a pole..”

  • Yochanan

    How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?……

    Never mind, I’ll just sit here in the dark.

  • Davida

    How are you doing today? Would you like some Jelly Jammies, or Kasha Varnishkes, or Sweet and Sour Meatballs? Jewish Mother Syndrome 2.0, here we go:

    http://feedmebubbe.com/FeedMeBubbe/Episodes/EpisodeList.html

    Essen!

  • http://grumpyjew.blogspot.com Shmuley

    In order to combat the overfeeding, I just worked Shabbos dinner into my diet/training plan as my cheat meal for the week. Then I can have 3 helpings of gefilta loaf and 4 types of kugel, and 3 different types of salads, and sushi, and barbequed chicken, and everything else my Rebbezin can think of to cook and shove down my throat. Works out pretty good so far.

  • http://www.esajudita.com Lena

    Forget the Jewish mother thing, I had *two* Jewish parents…my father is every bit as annoying as my mother. :)

  • http://infiniterandominity.blogspot.com Shua

    i think this goes back to rivka. she served yitzchok two goats for a meal! and he was like a 123-year-old rabbi, probably could barely eat a slice or two.

  • A Jewish Mom

    MONA LISA’S JEWISH MOTHER: ‘After all the money your father and I spent on braces, this you call a smile?’
    CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS’ JEWISH MOTHER: ‘I don’t care what you’ve discovered, you didn’t call, you didn’t write…’
    MICHELANGELO’S JEWISH MOTHER: ‘A ceiling you paint? Not good enough for you the walls, like the other children? Do you know how hard it is to get that schmutz off the ceiling?’
    NAPOLEON’S JEWISH MOTHER: ‘You’re not hiding your report card? Show me! Take your hand out of your jacket and show me!’
    ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S JEWISH MOTHER: ‘Again with that hat! Why can’t you wear a baseball cap like the other kids?’
    GEORGE WASHINGTON’S JEWISH MOTHER: ‘Next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!’
    THOMAS EDISON’S JEWISH MOTHER: ‘Okay, so I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off already and go to sleep!’
    PAUL REVERE’S JEWISH MOTHER: ‘I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is long past your bedtime!’
    ALBERT EINSTEIN’S JEWISH MOTHER: ‘Your senior photograph, and you couldn’t have done something with your hair?’
    MOSES’ JEWISH MOTHER: ‘Desert, schmesert!! Where have you really been for the last forty years?’
    BILL GATES’ JEWISH MOTHER: ‘It would have killed you to become a doctor?’
    BILL CLINTON’S JEWISH MOTHER: ‘Well, at least she was a nice Jewish girl.’

  • http://www.frumfemale.blogspot.com frum single female

    i think that the new trend will be jewish mothers telling their sons not to eat to much because its bad for their cholesteral

  • WICKED WILLY

    THIS MUST ADDRESSED AND PUT TO A FULL STOP OTHER WISE LITTLE BOYS WILL NEVER GROW UP

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